ErinKC
24-07-18, 01:45
I'm posting here again to try and break my anxiety cycle. I've been out of it for almost a year and it's creeping back. It started with sciatica pain that's persisted for 2 weeks. Then, 2 days ago was numbness in the opposite leg, and finally, last night (sorry TMI) was a weird pins and needles sensation in my groin area.
Here's the progression of my anxiety. This helps me to realize that it is, in fact, anxiety and not serious medical conditions (though the sciatica is real).
1. Sciatica started 2 weeks ago after walking in bad shoes all day.
2. Anxiety started to creep in, unrelated to sciatica, when I was visiting a friend and swimming in her pool (I got an irrational fear of bacteria or my old friend the brain-eating amoeba by convincing myself she didn't properly maintain her pool). This should have been a warning sign to start taking proactive steps to curb anxiety. This started the bad habit of googling.
3. Sciatica pain got worse after driving to and from my parents' house.
4. A few days ago I got a call about an old hospital bill from a year ago when I had convinced myself I had a DVT and gone to the ER for an ultrasound. This had been a turning point for me during a really serious relapse of HA. I immediately went to see my doctor about anxiety, booked an appointment with my therapist, who I hadn't seen in a while, and got myself back on track. I've been extremely well since then until this week.
5. On Friday, seemingly out of the blue, I had a major panic attack while driving home from a friend's house. It triggered a big fear of my anxiety returning.
6. The phone call must have triggered the DVT part of my anxiety-riddled brain because by later that day I was worrying that my sciatica pain was actually being caused by a blood clot. More googling.
7. Two days ago, despite the sciatica pain being on the right side, I developed a numb/tingly spot on my left leg. This only caused slight anxiety since I've had this sensation before both in connection to back pain and anxiety. I've never determined which one is actually causing it.
8. Last night after a day of walking around an art festival, while sitting on the couch playing with my daughter, I noticed numbness/pins and needles in my left labia. It was SUPER weird, to say the least. Now, there have been a handful of occasions when my vag has fallen asleep from sitting funny or too long. So, I stood up and shook out my legs, etc.. But it didn't go away. Then, for the next 12 hours or so (through the night, I suppose because it was still there when I woke up) I had intermittent tingling/pins and needles down there. Hello, Google. What serious illness do I have tonight??
9. Now, DVT was out the window as a possible diagnosis. Replaced by the even more rare and terrifying caudia equina syndrome. Who needs to worry about a lifetime of heparin shots when you could be paralyzed and incontinent after requiring emergency surgery!? This was when the real panic finally set in and I had to just to go to sleep rather than getting any work done or relaxing after putting my daughter to bed.
10. This morning I made an appointment with my doctor. I had planned to see her about the sciatica and an older Achilles injury anyway, so I figured I'd stop waiting. I saw her this afternoon. By that time the vaginal numbness seemed to have subsided. I told her about it and all my symptoms and her only question was if I'd had any bladder or bowel issues, which is not the case. She did a standard nuero/reflex exam of my lower extremities, checked all around for pain with different movements and recommended a physical therapist, who I'll see on Thursday.
11. Now that I'm home, the tingling has returned along with some burning. I spent at least an hour googling, which is so bad. I know in my rational mind this is all the anxiety. It follows my pattern: brain-eating amoeba, DVT, CES... What will be next?? But, in the thick of it, it's so hard to snap out of it! While the initial numbness was real, I'm sure I'm at least half imagining it now with my hypersensitive anxiety mind.
I'm going to email my therapist now, too, since I haven't had a good check in session with her in a while. I really need to be more proactive I think to prevent these flare-ups. Does anyone else feel well for very long stretches of time, only to very unexpectedly relapse hard? Do you have any good tips on preventing this? Thanks for any words of wisdom or support!!
Here's the progression of my anxiety. This helps me to realize that it is, in fact, anxiety and not serious medical conditions (though the sciatica is real).
1. Sciatica started 2 weeks ago after walking in bad shoes all day.
2. Anxiety started to creep in, unrelated to sciatica, when I was visiting a friend and swimming in her pool (I got an irrational fear of bacteria or my old friend the brain-eating amoeba by convincing myself she didn't properly maintain her pool). This should have been a warning sign to start taking proactive steps to curb anxiety. This started the bad habit of googling.
3. Sciatica pain got worse after driving to and from my parents' house.
4. A few days ago I got a call about an old hospital bill from a year ago when I had convinced myself I had a DVT and gone to the ER for an ultrasound. This had been a turning point for me during a really serious relapse of HA. I immediately went to see my doctor about anxiety, booked an appointment with my therapist, who I hadn't seen in a while, and got myself back on track. I've been extremely well since then until this week.
5. On Friday, seemingly out of the blue, I had a major panic attack while driving home from a friend's house. It triggered a big fear of my anxiety returning.
6. The phone call must have triggered the DVT part of my anxiety-riddled brain because by later that day I was worrying that my sciatica pain was actually being caused by a blood clot. More googling.
7. Two days ago, despite the sciatica pain being on the right side, I developed a numb/tingly spot on my left leg. This only caused slight anxiety since I've had this sensation before both in connection to back pain and anxiety. I've never determined which one is actually causing it.
8. Last night after a day of walking around an art festival, while sitting on the couch playing with my daughter, I noticed numbness/pins and needles in my left labia. It was SUPER weird, to say the least. Now, there have been a handful of occasions when my vag has fallen asleep from sitting funny or too long. So, I stood up and shook out my legs, etc.. But it didn't go away. Then, for the next 12 hours or so (through the night, I suppose because it was still there when I woke up) I had intermittent tingling/pins and needles down there. Hello, Google. What serious illness do I have tonight??
9. Now, DVT was out the window as a possible diagnosis. Replaced by the even more rare and terrifying caudia equina syndrome. Who needs to worry about a lifetime of heparin shots when you could be paralyzed and incontinent after requiring emergency surgery!? This was when the real panic finally set in and I had to just to go to sleep rather than getting any work done or relaxing after putting my daughter to bed.
10. This morning I made an appointment with my doctor. I had planned to see her about the sciatica and an older Achilles injury anyway, so I figured I'd stop waiting. I saw her this afternoon. By that time the vaginal numbness seemed to have subsided. I told her about it and all my symptoms and her only question was if I'd had any bladder or bowel issues, which is not the case. She did a standard nuero/reflex exam of my lower extremities, checked all around for pain with different movements and recommended a physical therapist, who I'll see on Thursday.
11. Now that I'm home, the tingling has returned along with some burning. I spent at least an hour googling, which is so bad. I know in my rational mind this is all the anxiety. It follows my pattern: brain-eating amoeba, DVT, CES... What will be next?? But, in the thick of it, it's so hard to snap out of it! While the initial numbness was real, I'm sure I'm at least half imagining it now with my hypersensitive anxiety mind.
I'm going to email my therapist now, too, since I haven't had a good check in session with her in a while. I really need to be more proactive I think to prevent these flare-ups. Does anyone else feel well for very long stretches of time, only to very unexpectedly relapse hard? Do you have any good tips on preventing this? Thanks for any words of wisdom or support!!