View Full Version : Working myself up about rabies, ugh
FYI- I know everything there is to know about rabies. This is not a factual problem, and rabies is rare isn't going to get me out of this.
This is the deal...A raccoon ripped open a bag of grass seed I stupidly left outside, on top of my garbage bin. When I went to clean it, it was still damp and wet since it rained last night. Of course, I am thinking the raccoon had rabies, and saliva was on the seeds, and it was still wet, and you get the picture.
For some reason, I only put on one glove. I did wipe the seeds with that glove, and don't think I got any on my other hand, but you never know.
This is just OCD right? Or, is this an actual exposure?
Have you ever touched garbage that a raccoon touched with your bare hands? I think that is part of my thought process..that I am the only one dumb enough, so am I?
I have been preoccupied for too long. Is this something you would just move on from? Or would you worry?
I responded to your exact same post on the Anxiety Central message board.
nomorepanic
24-07-18, 19:45
I responded to your exact same post on the Anxiety Central message board.
Are they getting a rabies outbreak as well :winks:
I responded to your exact same post on the Anxiety Central message board.
It's interesting how many sufferers are on multiple anxiety sites. The similarities to a drug addict having several sources for their fix are uncanny ;)
Positive thoughts
AMomentofClarity
24-07-18, 20:01
It's interesting how many sufferers are on multiple anxiety sites. The similarities to a drug addict having several sources for their fix are uncanny ;)
Positive thoughts
Absolutely this! And how many times does the reassurance actually work long term.......
I only read here and Anxiety central a few times I responded twice, caught it after the fact. Now I check lol
Good question about the reassurance though... it's like a leaky bucket, full briefly and before you know it, it's empty.
I posted here b\c i prefer the other board but there aren't responses usually. I see now two people did respind so thanks.
I really wish I could get through without reassurance, but I can't right now. This is a very isolating illness with no one that understands so there is no one to talk it through.
When factual evidence fails to alleviate the fears and irrational thoughts, reassurance would be like trying to put out a fire with an eye dropper.
You've been struggling with this for some time based on your post history. Don't know what to say other than recommending real life professional help :shrug:
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
It's interesting how many sufferers are on multiple anxiety sites. The similarities to a drug addict having several sources for their fix are uncanny ;)
Positive thoughts
I have often thought this. It would make a great study for a grad student. Especially if one were to track the responses. I often find that OPs respond most often to the thread that has the answers they most often want to hear.
I have often thought this. It would make a great study for a grad student. Especially if one were to track the responses. I often find that OPs respond most often to the thread that has the answers they most often want to hear.
No doubt! I saw it on AZ when that was around. I shoot from the hip and find that my replies are often not even acknowledged but the tea and sympathy replies feed the dragon.
As far as a case study? I also agree, between tracking responses, reactions etc., and reading through the threads from some of the long term members, one could write a thesis!
Positive thoughts
I responded to your exact same post on the Anxiety Central message board.
What be this Anxiety Central and do they have a Complaints Dept?
AMomentofClarity
24-07-18, 21:35
No doubt! I saw it on AZ when that was around. I shoot from the hip and find that my replies are often not even acknowledged but the tea and sympathy replies feed the dragon.
Positive thoughts
So often it appears that health anxiety follows a pattern of BPD....or attention seeking behavior. I’m not saying that goes for everybody on here, but in many cases you can tell that it’s not even about the health concern in the end, it’s an addiction to having people tell you you’re ok. It’s the reason reassurance doesn’t work, it’s much deeper than that.
You’re drug addiction analogy from earlier is very apt.
I feel like I should respond to this, even though I don't have a grand reaction.
You're right, I did want to hear that people don't get rabies this way, that other people have picked up after raccoons without protection and they never even considered rabies risk, that lots of people do this every day to no ill effect. I think I needed that to dive into what triggered this today.
I actually do think long and hard about my HA and what now appears to be contamination OCD, where it comes from, why my thoughts get stuck. I am looking for a place to talk about that, I guess, with people who have empathy b/c they have been there themselves. I don't see empathy or really humanization in the responses here, so that's fine. But, that maybe why people sometimes don't respond to comments and posts, especially overly general ones. I mean, there's only so much to say to get therapy or you have BPD or someone should do research. There are probably ways of wording that, too, to elicit a response if you really want one or want to open a conversation.
---------- Post added at 20:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------
Wow....was just reading about OCD. A psychiatrist identified this form of OCD:
or “What happens after death?” or “How can I be sure my loved ones are safe?”—and then engage in tortuous attempts to find certainty where it can’t exist.
That really speaks to me. Think it's involved in my thought process entirely.
AMomentofClarity
25-07-18, 02:18
I feel like I should respond to this, even though I don't have a grand reaction.
You're right, I did want to hear that people don't get rabies this way, that other people have picked up after raccoons without protection and they never even considered rabies risk, that lots of people do this every day to no ill effect. I think I needed that to dive into what triggered this today.
I actually do think long and hard about my HA and what now appears to be contamination OCD, where it comes from, why my thoughts get stuck. I am looking for a place to talk about that, I guess, with people who have empathy b/c they have been there themselves. I don't see empathy or really humanization in the responses here, so that's fine. But, that maybe why people sometimes don't respond to comments and posts, especially overly general ones. I mean, there's only so much to say to get therapy or you have BPD or someone should do research. There are probably ways of wording that, too, to elicit a response if you really want one or want to open a conversation.
---------- Post added at 20:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------
Wow....was just reading about OCD. A psychiatrist identified this form of OCD:
or “What happens after death?” or “How can I be sure my loved ones are safe?”—and then engage in tortuous attempts to find certainty where it can’t exist.
That really speaks to me. Think it's involved in my thought process entirely.
I can understand how some posts, including mine can be taken harshly and how there’s not an easy reply. I come from where I do because I’ve experienced health anxiety in different phases of my life, the typical bouncing around from one fear to another, day after day, week after week. I chased reassurance from friends, family, doctors, the Internet, you name it. It wasn’t until I accepted that there wasn’t enough reassurance in the world to help me, and sought real life help that I was able to move beyond it. I know “get therapy” isn’t easy to hear, but it’s a lot better than revolving your life around irrational fears.
I feel like I should respond to this, even though I don't have a grand reaction.
---------- Post added at 20:42 ---------- Previous post was at 19:16 ----------
[/COLOR]Wow....was just reading about OCD. A psychiatrist identified this form of OCD:
or “What happens after death?” or “How can I be sure my loved ones are safe?”—and then engage in tortuous attempts to find certainty where it can’t exist.
That really speaks to me. Think it's involved in my thought process entirely.
The attention seeking behavior that FMP and others are referring to is also a pattern of OCD. IMPO most people we see on here with HA have it as part of their OCD. I’d rank PTSD as the second most likely cause (like having a loved one die from an illness), and the third most likely causes as the personality disorders like BPD or HPD.
It's also possible to have HA without having attention-seeking behaviours.
MyNameIsTerry
25-07-18, 09:15
It's also possible to have HA without having attention-seeking behaviours.
Absolutely and the same for OCD. Reassurance seeking, not attention seeking which is a very different thing, is a compulsion but there are many compulsions in OCD so to suggest that's how it works is incorrect.
Reassurance seeking has never been a feature of my OCD. It's a range of themes & compulsions and not everyone has/does them all.
AMomentofClarity
25-07-18, 16:09
FYI- I know everything there is to know about rabies. This is not a factual problem, and rabies is rare isn't going to get me out of this.
Here’s the key part of this for me....I read, “I know factually that I don’t have rabies, and the obvious reassurance isn’t going to help, but I’m going to post for reassurance anyway.”
There’s obviously a deeper issue here (beyond simple HA), regardless of what it may be, which needs addressed.
That doesn’t apply just to this thread either, it’s extremely common on here.
I can understand how some posts, including mine can be taken harshly and how there’s not an easy reply. I come from where I do because I’ve experienced health anxiety in different phases of my life, the typical bouncing around from one fear to another, day after day, week after week. I chased reassurance from friends, family, doctors, the Internet, you name it. It wasn’t until I accepted that there wasn’t enough reassurance in the world to help me, and sought real life help that I was able to move beyond it. I know “get therapy” isn’t easy to hear, but it’s a lot better than revolving your life around irrational fears.
It's not that "get therapy" is hard to hear. It's that the presentation style is caustic and judgy and doesn't invite engagement. I think what I wanted yesterday was to be engaged in a human way. As I said, HA/OCD is excessively isolating. I try to keep it to myself and I do try to snap myself out of it. BUt, some days are harder than others. You'd think people on here would understand, but it doesn't often seem that way. It is possible to make comments like "you need professional help" or "this should be a case study" or "you have a personality disorder" in different ways. I would have happily responded to comments phrased in more caring ways. Style does matter if people want comments acknowledged, so maybe that helps explain why responses don't flow to some posters.
So, yesterday, I wanted to be engaged. Is that attention seeking or BPD? I don't tick any of the boxes for BPD-- I am an introvert to a fault, have a lifetime of stable relationships with the people closest to me. That just doesn't fit. But, your posts did cause me to consider whether I am attention seeking, or just drumming up drama to get a reaction? That doesn't ring true to me. I am not looking for this in the world. Unfortunately, I have become fearful of zoonotic disease and I am like a magnet for these F@ckers. I had a bat in the house in March, a former raccoon toilet that I keep having to revisit (have made some progress on that BTW but not 100% there), the raccoon in the trash the other night. I had a random dog put my entire hand in its mouth on a trail last month. All of this came to me. Why I react to wildlife with so much fear and a sense of such fragility, I don't know exactly. But, I really don't recognize attention seeking in it. What I do recognize is self doubt. I guess, on some level, I feel like I am a failure of a human being. NO clue why, as I really am not. I have a 21 year marriage, three kids that are doing well, maintain relationships with my parents and siblings, a stable job, a business I am developing on the side that I absolutely love. Not everything is entirely smooth for me, and I have encountered challenging situations, and I don't always feel part of things socially or in professional relationships. But, I am not a failure by any stretch. What I am noticing about these zoonotic issues, when they come up, a lot of the fear is triggered by feeling like I haven't cleaned up right. With the rabies yesterday, I realized I just should have left the mess until weather conditions were dry. I didn't though, and felt like I dealt with it wrong. I think there is some beating myself up in my OCD/ HA and not so much craving attention. I think, in the past, my HA might have stemmed from needing affirmation that I matter. But, not so much anymore (ironically my earlier experience with HA caused me to put myself out there and make the life I want to live, whereas I had been languishing as a reluctant stay at home mom), and I certainly don't see my OCD as manipulative in anyway. I honestly do think I could admit if was about manipulation. I just don't see it. I do REALLY fear death and leaving my kids, or having them leave me.
I hear you on reassurance. This is my second episode with HA/OCD in my life. I worked really hard to get past it the first time, and I was able to stop reassurance seeking entirely. Might not seem like it, but I do try and put limits on myself. I don't post about every little thought that crosses my mind. I try to sit with things. I just don't think I've gotten to a place in this particular HA episode where I can rely on my internal resources only or in every situation. Therapy is something I would like to do, but I can't afford it at the moment. That is the bottom line. We have so many bills (mostly education ones for my kids, two need braces, we always have house stuff going up, or trees that need knocking down, and we have medical expenses every year, some much needed for my daughter, one more in the grey area but of course tinged with the smell of HA). So, I have to do this on my own right now, until we can get ourselves ahead again.
Last thing, to sum up- lack of comments doesn't mean people don't read or reflect. It also doesn't mean they are totally inert and passive about their HA. If people want comments back, I think they need to think about style. I do appreciate where this conversation went.
AMomentofClarity
26-07-18, 04:39
Very well thought out post, it sounds like you’ve done a lot of work trying to figure out why your mind works the way it does. I apologize for insinuating you had BPD. Overall I met that there’s characteristics of that in a lot of posts here. By attention seeking behavior, I’m not necessarily suggesting that people are looking for drama, more that it feels good to be told you’re ok, and that becomes an addiction in a way. I’ve experienced it first hand...when in the depths of health anxiety, there’s a certain elation you get from being told everything is good. I got that from doctors plenty of times. Unfortunately, it was always short lived and I would be back within a month.
Suffering with ocd or health anxiety doesn’t make you a failure in any way. It’s a terrible thing to deal with, and nobody chooses it. It’s hard as hell, but if you can get past the physical focus and understand the mental/emotional side it can be treated.
The best thing I ever did was discuss my anxiety with my doctor. It allowed him to treat me within the proper context, both physically and mentally. He reassured me while also directing me to the anxiety help I needed. We have a great relationship, and best of all he’s not seeing me every month. It’s certainly not something that happens overnight, but each small step snowballs into larger ones.
paranoid-viking
26-07-18, 10:39
FYI- I know everything there is to know about rabies. This is not a factual problem, and rabies is rare isn't going to get me out of this.
This is the deal...A raccoon ripped open a bag of grass seed I stupidly left outside, on top of my garbage bin. When I went to clean it, it was still damp and wet since it rained last night. Of course, I am thinking the raccoon had rabies, and saliva was on the seeds, and it was still wet, and you get the picture.
For some reason, I only put on one glove. I did wipe the seeds with that glove, and don't think I got any on my other hand, but you never know.
This is just OCD right? Or, is this an actual exposure?
Have you ever touched garbage that a raccoon touched with your bare hands? I think that is part of my thought process..that I am the only one dumb enough, so am I?
I have been preoccupied for too long. Is this something you would just move on from? Or would you worry?
Why dont you read this one?
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=219591
Are the moderators wastong there time making that brilliant thread? There are WAY TOO MANY rabies posts now and ALL OF THEM without exception are utterly riddicilous. No, dont get me wrong, YOU are not riddicilous but your fear is. I know, cause I had a rabies scare myself 14 years ago and it WAS riddicilous. Stop this nonsense! NOW! And seek help for your anxiety!
---------- Post added at 11:34 ---------- Previous post was at 11:31 ----------
Absolutely this! And how many times does the reassurance actually work long term.......
For some posters: NEVER! Some of them never even read other threads than their own and keep coming back woth riddicilous questions over and over. And even though they are explained over and over that their fear is scientifically 100% impossible they wontt let go! They dont trust doctors, they dont trust experts and want a third opinion from us in here whose neither doctors or experts but just anxiety sufferers ourself. Yes, it is like a drug addiction, it really is.
---------- Post added at 11:35 ---------- Previous post was at 11:34 ----------
I posted here b\c i prefer the other board but there aren't responses usually. I see now two people did respind so thanks.
I really wish I could get through without reassurance, but I can't right now. This is a very isolating illness with no one that understands so there is no one to talk it through.
Yes, there are people who are profesionall and dealing with anxious people. Are you trying to seek out any of those? But people in here are not therapists. We are anxiety sufferers ourself.
---------- Post added at 11:36 ---------- Previous post was at 11:35 ----------
I have often thought this. It would make a great study for a grad student. Especially if one were to track the responses. I often find that OPs respond most often to the thread that has the answers they most often want to hear.
I am pretty sure pshycology students nowadays read forums like this. It is gold for such research.:)
---------- Post added at 11:39 ---------- Previous post was at 11:36 ----------
I feel like I should respond to this, even though I don't have a grand reaction.
You're right, I did want to hear that people don't get rabies this way, that other people have picked up after raccoons without protection and they never even considered rabies risk, that lots of people do this every day to no ill effect. I think I needed that to dive into what triggered this today.
But you allready know that deep inside. You know deep inside that this is nonsense and that you allow irrational fear throw away logic and rational jugdement. I have anxiety myself and it is not easy, but why not try for a little moment to think logical and supress the anxiety wothin you and let LOGIC speak louder?
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