Fear of being alone and choking 😱

[Margaret38]

Hello everyone,

As the title says. I have a fear of being alone as I think I will choke and die. I go through phases of feeling like this. It usually happens twice a week. I’m really trying to beat this as I can’t go like this anymore o have kept my partner a virtual prisoner for the past year as I can’t be left alone. He is going out a walk with the dog in the morning and this is me now panicking as he I going to leave me with the children for an hour. I feel like a crazy woman. I want to shod my 15 year old daughter how to save me if I choke. Tell her which neighbor to go grt, I’ve been planning h this for hours now. Has anyone else felt like this and beat it!? X

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Margaret38 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Graceski]

I have been going through this for a few years now. I'm so scared of choking I can't eat food without having to constantly sip a drink with each bite or having to smother things in sauce so it goes down the hole easier!

The problem is the more you think about choking I think sometimes the more likely it is to get food a little bit stuck and start coughing (not choking).

I looked up how to perform the heimlich manoeuvre on myself and every meal is a struggle.

I'm yet to overcome this myself but you are not alone and I hope you can find help :)

[Margaret38]

Hi graceski. Thanks for your reply
It generally is a bit crap. Some days I just eat youghurts, bananas and other soft foods. I don’t eat meals with my family in case they see it and I don’t want to pass my anxiety on to them. I also can’t be left alone as I fear that I will choke and die. It’s gwtting a bit out of control now. Some days are good and other days are bad. Margaret

[Scass]

This must be really rubbish to live with. I do understand fear and living with anxiety, but as the doctors say - if it starts to affect your day to day life, seek professional help.

I really think you need to. It’s not fair to put yourself or your husband and children through this anymore. I doubt it will be easy, but working towards getting well again will surely be easier than living like this?


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[Margaret38]

Hey scass. Thanks for your response it always good to hear from people.
There is a bit of presumptio in your response. I’ve not divulged any information on any treatment I am having. I am currently seeing my doctor for this. My partner does not understand, he tries but he’s of the” pull yourself together” man. I can also assure you that my children are happy wee souls.

[MRS STRESS ED]

hi there answer to that is don't eat when you're alone,anxiety is horrible it can take over us and consume us seek help from your gp,

Best of luck :hugs:

[Scass]

Hey scass. Thanks for your response it always good to hear from people.
There is a bit of presumptio in your response. I’ve not divulged any information on any treatment I am having. I am currently seeing my doctor for this. My partner does not understand, he tries but he’s of the” pull yourself together” man. I can also assure you that my children are happy wee souls.



I didn’t just mean you, I meant graceski too. I am glad you are seeing someone and I hope she is too.
But is your doctor doing enough for you, and are you doing enough for you? If your post was just for sympathy or understanding then I’m very sorry that I wasn’t sympathetic or understanding enough. I’m happy that your children are happy too, that’s always my biggest worry for myself, but you won’t eat in the same room as them and you don’t let your husband go out of the house? Thats why I said that you need to adddress it. I’m not sure what kind of response you wanted, and I’m sorry that you didn’t get it from me.


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[Clydesdale Epona]

This is a personal bad fear of mine I completely understand how you feel, I've gotten much better at eating I'm recovering well with that but haven't combated the eating alone yet, I'm generally okay because there's someone always in the house but it's really hard x

[Margaret38]

Hey scass,

I dont know if my doctor is doing enough for me. My presumption is he is, he is the medical professional. My post was defiantly not for sympathy or understanding. It was just to see if there were others out there who had beat this ask for advice. I think my original
Post explains that well. Please don’t be sorry for your response and let me reiterate I don’t not want sympathy all feed back is good! I can see things from other people’s prospective. That’s all I wanted. Thanks, Margaret

---------- Post added at 23:04 ---------- Previous post was at 22:58 ----------

Hi Clydesdale.

Thanks for your reply��. Yip, ad you will have read there is generaly someone with me. It’s hard going sometimes. I just wish I knew how to combat this fear as I think it would then elevate my fear of being alone xx

[Scass]

Hey scass,

I dont know if my doctor is doing enough for me. My presumption is he is, he is the medical professional. My post was defiantly not for sympathy or understanding. It was just to see if there were others out there who had beat this ask for advice. I think my original
Post explains that well. Please don’t be sorry for your response and let me reiterate I don’t not want sympathy all feed back is good! I can see things from other people’s prospective. That’s all I wanted. Thanks, Margaret

---------- Post added at 23:04 ---------- Previous post was at 22:58 ----------

Hi Clydesdale.

Thanks for your replyí*½í¸�. Yip, ad you will have read there is generaly someone with me. It’s hard going sometimes. I just wish I knew how to combat this fear as I think it would then elevate my fear of being alone xx



A therapist I spoke to suggested that I have exposure therapy for my particular anxieties around fear of illness in family or me. It scares the life out of me [emoji23].
But I suspect that’s what any therapy would involve around for fear of choking. Lots of therapy sessions where someone is with you when you eat different food, and then sessions involving leaving you alone, but still in a controlled environment.
I have experienced your fear in a very small way, and nothing like how you must suffer. So I can appreciate that kind of therapy wouldn’t be something you’d jump into, but has it been suggested at all? Have you done CBT?

Do you have some days when you can eat normally or does there always need to be someone there?

Sorry for the questions, I’m trying to understand it, but I appreciate you may not want to go into it all


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[ErinKC]

I've never had the choking fear, but when my daughter was a baby I developed a fear that I would have an allergic reaction and go into anaphylaxis when I was home with her. The only reason for it was that one day I got one hive on my arm after eating some cranberry walnut bread. I assumed it was from the dusty Christmas tree we were putting away at the time (I'm horribly allergic to dust), but my mom put in my head that I might be having a reaction to the bread (which I'd had before with no trouble). It was a really bad time for me with postpartum anxiety, so I clung onto it and developed a horrible fear of allergies. I hardly ate anything, especially when alone with my daughter. I went for allergy tests and everything came out normal - no allergies - but it still took me months to get through it.

I would take it very slowly, like eat one thing I had been a bit worried about. Just a bite. And wait and see how nothing would happen. And, while I was doing it I'd think of all the time I'd eaten that before without any allergy. And over time I was able to get through it.

I hope you can too! I think exposure type therapy, like scass says, and what I did is really the only way. You need to do what you're afraid of and prove to yourself that nothing bad will happen.