Vioblue
25-07-18, 13:02
Hi People,
My name is Paolo, I live in Portugal. I don't know how to start this text, but here we go.
I'm 28 years, no job, no degree, not many perspectives. I've been battling depression for more than 10 years and Panic, Healthy Anxiety for 1 year.
I guess, I started feeling depression when I was around 13-14 years old, but things got really worse when my father died, I was 16 at that time. Since the death of my father, I feel almost no pleasure in life. I did many bad decisions, because of my depression.
After high school, I tried to study History, but didn't like it, then I switched to Linguistics and didn't like it too, but truth be told, it was the depression that made me quite both courses, cause I'm not able to feel that pleasure.
5 years ago, I got a decent job in the touristic sector. Made some money and with money, I started seeking for pleasure in the wrong places, I guess. First, it was prostitution. Every week, I was with a different one, until it made no sense anymore. Then, last year, I tried cocaine and it only made things worse, cause I developed an Anxiety disorder that transformed into Panic about a year ago. Many visits to the ER, many exams. I guess, y'all know what I'm talking about.
I tried Escitalopram, it helped a lot, but I had to quit because of some side effects. Today, I do psychotherapy and I enjoy it, somehow, I feel, I know myself much better now. I'm doing physical activity again, trying to lose some weight.
Still, I feel like there's a long way to go, cause my life generates anxiety. I'm always thinking that I'm a loser, a guy, 28, without a job, a degree, I feel like shit. All of my friends are already working in decent jobs, make some great things, While I feel, I'm still 18 or something.
I don't know what else to say, but that's it.
My name is Paolo, I live in Portugal. I don't know how to start this text, but here we go.
I'm 28 years, no job, no degree, not many perspectives. I've been battling depression for more than 10 years and Panic, Healthy Anxiety for 1 year.
I guess, I started feeling depression when I was around 13-14 years old, but things got really worse when my father died, I was 16 at that time. Since the death of my father, I feel almost no pleasure in life. I did many bad decisions, because of my depression.
After high school, I tried to study History, but didn't like it, then I switched to Linguistics and didn't like it too, but truth be told, it was the depression that made me quite both courses, cause I'm not able to feel that pleasure.
5 years ago, I got a decent job in the touristic sector. Made some money and with money, I started seeking for pleasure in the wrong places, I guess. First, it was prostitution. Every week, I was with a different one, until it made no sense anymore. Then, last year, I tried cocaine and it only made things worse, cause I developed an Anxiety disorder that transformed into Panic about a year ago. Many visits to the ER, many exams. I guess, y'all know what I'm talking about.
I tried Escitalopram, it helped a lot, but I had to quit because of some side effects. Today, I do psychotherapy and I enjoy it, somehow, I feel, I know myself much better now. I'm doing physical activity again, trying to lose some weight.
Still, I feel like there's a long way to go, cause my life generates anxiety. I'm always thinking that I'm a loser, a guy, 28, without a job, a degree, I feel like shit. All of my friends are already working in decent jobs, make some great things, While I feel, I'm still 18 or something.
I don't know what else to say, but that's it.