DavidJ85
31-07-18, 12:46
So Hi, I'm David, I'm 33 and been an anxiety sufferer for almost 12 years. When it first came into my life in the form of a panic attack I thought I had a serious illness or was going insane and was terrified I'd commit suicide or something. I also couldn't drive far without panicking and driving back home and getting back in my bedroom. At points I couldn't even face leaving my room or my house. It manifested itself into an anxiety disorder with countless negative intrusive thoughts and physical symptoms.
LOTS of studying, doctor and hospital visits and researching and learning I worked out I can't possibly be going mad or have anything seriously wrong with me, as anyone going mad doesn't realise they're going mad and that I actually have an anxiety disorder.
So DR prescribed 100mg Sertraline and 40mg Propranolol and after the initial side effects I felt 90% back to my old self which was nice. Obviously still with the anxiety there but livable without effecting my daily life. Often I'll experience the odd minor setback which will knock me a little but I can more often than not get myself back on track.
My symptoms when suffering are excessive sweating, adrenaline and trembling, intrusive and negative and horrible thoughts, obsessing over tiny little details, dry throat, stomach pains and looseness, fidgeting and hot flashes. When any of this symptoms present themselves I immediately feel awful and the downward spiral begins. When I'm feeling ok I don't get any of these, apart from maybe the fidgeting. Sometimes my stomach being bad causes anxiety as I suffer from IBS as well so they both fight against each other which isn't pleasant.
I have a loving girlfriend who doesn't quite understand it but is by my side through thick and thin just as I am with her. My Mum sort of understands and my Dad just doesn't really want to get involved because I think he suffers in silence too but doesn't face it.
Anyway, Saturday came around and few days leading up to then I felt my anxiety growing but for no apparent reason. There's never really a big trigger it just appears. So Saturday, bang, driving my car, anxiety attack!! The hot flash, excessive sweating and adrenaline and fear came over me but I carried on. Then the thoughts came flooding in "Why is this happening again?, Will it stop?" then looking at things differently like "Why is that road sign blue? and then "Why am I wondering why that road sign is blue?" and AGAIN another attack. BUT I carried on driving waiting for it to pass but it knocked me. So I told my girlfriend who was sat next to me and she put her hand on my leg and said I'll be ok just breathe. So I started deep breaths and slowly calmed down however because of the attack I knew "anxiety mode" was on.
So forward to now. Last few days I've felt like I'm back to square one. Intrusive thoughts like "Shall I check myself into a physchiatric hospital?, What if I kill myself?, Am I losing my mind?, "How bad can this get?", "Is this gonna get any worse or is this as bad as it can be?" and the constant feeling of dread and adrenaline and the sweats keep happening.
So my question is, how do others experiences liken to mine and has anyone started like mine and then got worse and worse to the point of ending up in a psych ward? I'm having a hard time at the moment so need help and to talk so if anyone can help me that would be lovely!
Wooo, long post, fingers hurt a bit but wanted to get it all out there.
Thanks all and remember you're not alone! Advice and replies very much appreciated. :)
LOTS of studying, doctor and hospital visits and researching and learning I worked out I can't possibly be going mad or have anything seriously wrong with me, as anyone going mad doesn't realise they're going mad and that I actually have an anxiety disorder.
So DR prescribed 100mg Sertraline and 40mg Propranolol and after the initial side effects I felt 90% back to my old self which was nice. Obviously still with the anxiety there but livable without effecting my daily life. Often I'll experience the odd minor setback which will knock me a little but I can more often than not get myself back on track.
My symptoms when suffering are excessive sweating, adrenaline and trembling, intrusive and negative and horrible thoughts, obsessing over tiny little details, dry throat, stomach pains and looseness, fidgeting and hot flashes. When any of this symptoms present themselves I immediately feel awful and the downward spiral begins. When I'm feeling ok I don't get any of these, apart from maybe the fidgeting. Sometimes my stomach being bad causes anxiety as I suffer from IBS as well so they both fight against each other which isn't pleasant.
I have a loving girlfriend who doesn't quite understand it but is by my side through thick and thin just as I am with her. My Mum sort of understands and my Dad just doesn't really want to get involved because I think he suffers in silence too but doesn't face it.
Anyway, Saturday came around and few days leading up to then I felt my anxiety growing but for no apparent reason. There's never really a big trigger it just appears. So Saturday, bang, driving my car, anxiety attack!! The hot flash, excessive sweating and adrenaline and fear came over me but I carried on. Then the thoughts came flooding in "Why is this happening again?, Will it stop?" then looking at things differently like "Why is that road sign blue? and then "Why am I wondering why that road sign is blue?" and AGAIN another attack. BUT I carried on driving waiting for it to pass but it knocked me. So I told my girlfriend who was sat next to me and she put her hand on my leg and said I'll be ok just breathe. So I started deep breaths and slowly calmed down however because of the attack I knew "anxiety mode" was on.
So forward to now. Last few days I've felt like I'm back to square one. Intrusive thoughts like "Shall I check myself into a physchiatric hospital?, What if I kill myself?, Am I losing my mind?, "How bad can this get?", "Is this gonna get any worse or is this as bad as it can be?" and the constant feeling of dread and adrenaline and the sweats keep happening.
So my question is, how do others experiences liken to mine and has anyone started like mine and then got worse and worse to the point of ending up in a psych ward? I'm having a hard time at the moment so need help and to talk so if anyone can help me that would be lovely!
Wooo, long post, fingers hurt a bit but wanted to get it all out there.
Thanks all and remember you're not alone! Advice and replies very much appreciated. :)