Terrified_Alex
01-08-18, 15:06
So, I have a somewhat recent history of severe anxiety. I have jumped from ALS (my first and most recent BAD ONE), to a chordoma, to lymphoma, to brain cancer, and now...
I feel like I have rabies.
It started a while back when a friend of mine pointed out that there were bats in his garage inside of which we were hanging out and listening to music. His dog excitedly scratched me, and that worried me for a little while until I realized that it was ridiculous: his dog is perfectly healthy. Even so, Rabies isn't typically spread by scratching. I brushed it off and was fine for a while.
Next, I was walking at a baseball field about a week and a half ago, and my girlfriend pointed out that some bats flew out of a nearby building. After walking by a tree with pointy leaves, I felt a prick on the back of my neck and became increasingly worried. Since I've discounted that scenario as unbelievable, I've been obsessed thinking I've been bitten at some point or another. I felt a tingly, prickly sensation in my elbow a few days ago, and that has just absolutely ruined my life. Since then, I've felt pain in my arm that seems to have traveled upward over the course of a few days and is now in my shoulder and neck area. I feel like when I press on my spine, it hurts, and my brain is trying to tell me that Rabies has reached my spinal cord, and that I don't have very long left. I'm scared that I'm going to die, even though nothing has happened to me.
I feel like an absolute nutcase, and that depresses me. I know that I'm being absolutely ridiculous, and if I told anyone, they would think I'm crazy. I almost considered making up a bite so that I could go to the doctor and get a vaccine just to ease my mind. Part of me thinks that's ridiculous and unfair to myself, and the other part thinks that it's too late for me and that it doesn't matter anyway because my days are numbered. I feel like soon I will be manufacturing symptoms like trouble swallowing, fatigue, and mental symptoms like confusion, which will further my panic.
This is the worst bout of health anxiety that I've ever had. I just want to live a normal life. I want to be able to have a job and be a partner to my girlfriend. I have started taking Lexapro for my anxiety, and have scheduled an appointment for a psychiatrist later this month. I hope I can get this figured out and just be able to enjoy my life while I have it.
I feel like I have rabies.
It started a while back when a friend of mine pointed out that there were bats in his garage inside of which we were hanging out and listening to music. His dog excitedly scratched me, and that worried me for a little while until I realized that it was ridiculous: his dog is perfectly healthy. Even so, Rabies isn't typically spread by scratching. I brushed it off and was fine for a while.
Next, I was walking at a baseball field about a week and a half ago, and my girlfriend pointed out that some bats flew out of a nearby building. After walking by a tree with pointy leaves, I felt a prick on the back of my neck and became increasingly worried. Since I've discounted that scenario as unbelievable, I've been obsessed thinking I've been bitten at some point or another. I felt a tingly, prickly sensation in my elbow a few days ago, and that has just absolutely ruined my life. Since then, I've felt pain in my arm that seems to have traveled upward over the course of a few days and is now in my shoulder and neck area. I feel like when I press on my spine, it hurts, and my brain is trying to tell me that Rabies has reached my spinal cord, and that I don't have very long left. I'm scared that I'm going to die, even though nothing has happened to me.
I feel like an absolute nutcase, and that depresses me. I know that I'm being absolutely ridiculous, and if I told anyone, they would think I'm crazy. I almost considered making up a bite so that I could go to the doctor and get a vaccine just to ease my mind. Part of me thinks that's ridiculous and unfair to myself, and the other part thinks that it's too late for me and that it doesn't matter anyway because my days are numbered. I feel like soon I will be manufacturing symptoms like trouble swallowing, fatigue, and mental symptoms like confusion, which will further my panic.
This is the worst bout of health anxiety that I've ever had. I just want to live a normal life. I want to be able to have a job and be a partner to my girlfriend. I have started taking Lexapro for my anxiety, and have scheduled an appointment for a psychiatrist later this month. I hope I can get this figured out and just be able to enjoy my life while I have it.