Social anxiety - bit of a moan sorry

[Anna77]

I think i've had social anxiety on and off all my life, although i only properly faced up to the fact that i had it earllier on this year. However i think if anything this has made me worse.

I've been on Citalopram 20mg, and have been undergoing CBT, for about 4 months now. I know CBT isn't a quick fix, but i just seem to be getting nowhere with it. If i could walk into town and spend an hour browsing round the shops on my own, then surely i wouldn't need CBT in the first place(?) The person i'm seeing gets upset when i tell her i don't feel i'm making any progress. I just thought there'd be more to it i guess.

I've also been feeling very down at times lately, and i never used to - not like this anyway. I don't know if this is a result of facing up to everything, or just a chemical response to the meds - is hard to tell.

I'm seeing my doctor later this month so i'm going to try to talk to her about some of all this, although i don't find stuff like that easy to be honest.

I'm sorry this is so negative! So many other people on here seem to be doing so well. I do try to stay positive, is just difficult sometimes.

[Nibbles]

Hi Lorelai and :welcome:

There's no need to apologise for feeling negative, we all have our ups and downs. I think you're doing the right thing being honest with your counsellor because without honesty there's little point in it. Going back to see your GP is a good positive step too and I hope it goes well.

Take care,

Mike

[clickaway]

Welcome aboard Lorelai,

You are certainly not alone in making no progress. I would say the vast majority of people here are just in the same boat as you. Sometimes we may talk about a little success we may have had, but that doesn't mean we are that much better. But please take heart from these instances - people post the positive stories to show others that you too will have these good times too.

And you will!!!

Remember, this is a journey, and the destination for all of us is good :)

Take Care,

:hugs:

[Anna77]

Hi Ray and Mike :)

Mike you're right - if i can't be honest with the counsellor, then it does render it pretty pointless, so i'll have to try and sort this out.

Thank you both lots for your replies anyway,

Lorelai

[CarpeDiem]

:) Hi Lorelai :)

Sorry to hear you're feeling like the CBT isn't helping. I know what you mean about feeling like the problem has got worse since you've aknowledged it - thats when all the self-doubt & feeling a bit hopeless kicks in (Theres a reason someone came up with the phrase "Ignorance is bliss" !) But PLEASE stick with the therapy.
When I first saw a counsellor, I was told it would be for 8 sessions. I remember thinking, "Great! 8 weeks & I'll be fine again" so after being offered another 8 sessions..... then another 8..... then another, I was starting to feel like a lost cause. "Why isn't his working for me? Why am I unable to get better?" etc etc.
I even started to feel like the poor woman treating me must be getting irritated by having to see me each week over & over + that she must be questioning her couselling skills & going home feeling like a failure because of me. So I started to lie. I said things were going a lot better & she seemed pleased so I continued to lie & say that I felt much better each week. Eventually she told me I didn't need to keep coming every week as I seemed to be doing fine & I agreed.
It was another 2 years of hell before I found the courage to go back to my GP & tell him how it really was. I was so scared that he'd be annoyed that I'd wasted the cousellors time by lying & not taking full advantage of the help that had been offered but he TOTALLY understood. I was sent for several assessments at my local hospital & was put on a waiting list for treatment. I have been seeing my latest psychotherapist for just a couple of months but have already made so much progress. I really feel this is down to my new found no holds barred (almost brutal) honesty.
What I'm basically saying is - Don't give up on your current treatment. In my experience, I have found that what you put into therapy is directly related to what you can get out of it, especially with CBT. But even if you do give up, don't feel bad! I gave up on mine but I'm trying again & I feel like its helping me to help myself a lot. Good luck with whatever you decide, SO MANY people here TOTALLY get where you're coming from & can be a great support. Take Care, CarpeDiem xxxxxx

[Anna77]

Hi CarpeDiem,

Wow, your intitial experiences of CBT sound very much like my current situation! It's of great comfort to hear from someone else who's gone through a similar thing, so thank you for your reply :)

You've made me more determined than ever to stop worrying about hurting my counsellors feelings, and start being honest.

Well done to you for trying again with the CBT, i really hope it works out for you. Thanks again,

Lorelai x

[CarpeDiem]

:) Hi Lorelai :)

Thanks for the good wishes! I'm glad you found my reply helpful; I just read your post & thought "Oh no! Thats just like me - I have to reply!" I wish I had found this site back then cos I'm sure I would have got the same advice & it might have saved me a few years of suffering.

Just remember that your counsellor is a professional & is MORE than familiar with the thought patterns of people with anxiety/depression, etc. so they will usually understand your frustrations & bouts of lack of motivation to work at treatment. They also have people to support them if they have a particularly difficult case so try not to worry about their feelings too much.

Feeling like a burden & putting everyone else in the universe before yourself is just part of what you're going through. Stay determined! :yesyes:

Take care, CarpeDiem
xxxxxx