I can't shake this fear off

[brxoxo]

I can't deal with this fear anymore! I deleted the thread I initially posted on here about my fear of s******* but I'm still struggling. I'm so aware of everything, things that I wouldn't have even paid attention to in the past like background noise I'm really aware of now. When I'm watching a video and I hear something odd I have to replay it and make sure it was the video and I'm not just hearing things that aren't there. I'm literally convinced I'm in the prodromal stages of it and things will just get worse. Please if anyone has gone through the same fear please private message me! I'm so scared and really need some reassurance. Everything I have read about it keeps replaying in my mind. I'm able to calm myself down and do things but the thoughts start popping into my mind "What if the things I'm experiencing are the beginning" "What if it never gets better and it gets worse" "what if I'm actually hallucinating"

[Worrygirl32]

I had this fear for 2 YEARS!! I was obsessed. And I was in therapy.... you don't know how many times I told my therapist that I was scared I was developing schizophrenia.. I WAS OBSSESSED I TELL YOU. I came home every day from work and just googled and googled and googled about it.. I mean I was really in it with that fear.. That one was a huge one for me. Over time the fear just faded.. Its been 4 years and clearly Im still not schizophrenic. I think it is a common worry for a health anxiety person. I would tell you not to worry but I know from experience how hard it is to deal with this fear. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone with this one. And I am sure there are many others who have experienced this as well. Hopefully that can give you some relief

[brxoxo]

Thank you for your response! It is so hard!! The fear is so intense that my anxiety is literally crippling. I'm literally bracing myself for the worst. I think part of the reason why it's so scary is because you can't go to a doctor, ask for an MRI and get it over with. I have also googled endlessly, even watched videos (huge mistake) trying to reassure myself but instead made things even worse. All the things I read keep replaying in my mind 😭

[nomorepanic]

Can I ask why you deleted the other thread when it had replies and advice?

[brxoxo]

I found it a bit embarrassing I guess and decided to delete it, I know I shouldn't have.

[ErinKC]

I think part of the reason why it's so scary is because you can't go to a doctor, ask for an MRI and get it over with.

This is exactly why your anxiety has landed here. Anxiety is a beast always looking to feed itself. There's no better meal for anxiety to devour than one that has no real resolution. This is why people land on the most ridiculous things like ALS or brain eating amoebas... things you can't just go get a test for or that have subtle symptoms you can obsess over for months.

Don't let the monster win!

[brxoxo]

I'm really trying to but it's hard. I've managed to calm myself down but the fear is always at the back of my mind.

[brxoxo]

So I'm still really scared. I went to see my therapist again on Thursday and he wouldn't reassure me that it wasn't what I think it is, he said he couldn't tell anyone that. He just said that what I was experiencing didn't worry him. I can't stop thinking about this. I just feel like crying. What if he thinks I'm in the beginning stages too?

Now I think I'm developing more symptoms, I keep thinking I see things from my peripheral vision and small dots/flashing lights dart in my field of vision. This all started after I read something, I don't know if anxiety can mimic these type of symptoms but I'm really hoping it does.

I haven't been sleeping well too which I think is also playing a part. I was finally able to sleep more last night as I have been a bit more calm, even though I'm practically forcing myself not to freak out but other than that my sleeping schedule has been bad because of this fear. �� Has anyone else had symptoms similar to these? I'm so scared

[tantopat]

Visual disturbances can definitely be a part of anxiety, and particularly panic. The flashing in particular actually sounds to me like the "stars" you can get if you hyperventilate, something you may not even realise you're doing. :) As for noticing things like background noises, high sensitivity is also extremely common in anxiety, as our minds latch onto sensations that wouldn't worry most others. And your therapist will be highly trained in psychology, and will be very familiar with the symptoms - schizophrenia is something that doesn't go unnoticed by others. So if your therapist isn't worried about your symptoms, I'd say you can trust that opinion and feel confident that what you're experiencing are symptoms of anxiety. They absolutely suck to go through (I've been through some, and I'm sure many others here have been through the rest) but they're nothing to fear, they won't harm you, and I think you'll be okay. :)

(Edited because my new phone's autocorrect is a nightmare XD)