Need help with my anxiety about cancer!

[Mb16]

So this year I’ve really struggled with fears of having lymphoma or cancer because of my constantly enlarged nodes, I visited multiple doctors who at the time said they’re up but not worried, they’ve always been up in my opinion, I had two blood tests. One coming back with slightly raised monocytes the second 2 weeks later coming back normal and they’d settled. But I’m STILL concerned as today I have tender and painful areas in my neck and chest which are the places I was concerned about before! I just DONT know how to control my worries or put it to the back of my mind. I read blood tests wouldn’t show any of it so I’m really scared and feel like I need to go back and see the doctor.

[Fishmanpa]

Mb, listen. We know from your post history you don't have cancer. Besides your age as well scientific medical tests and the opinions of medical professionals, what you said reveals something. Mind you, it's just my opinion based on reading thousands and thousands of posts on the subject. And after all, you are posting on an anxiety forum ;)

You said; "they’ve always been up in my opinion".

That begs the question; How do you know? IMO, you know because you're constantly poking and prodding :shades: It's an OCD part of HA from what I've learned both seeing it here as well as reading/studying it. Poking and prodding irritates the node and can and will cause it to swell. Poke and prod too much and they can become shotty.

There's a former member that was convinced he had lymphoma. He was totally node obsessed! I can't tell you how many doctors and tests he had as I lost count. Mind you, he a was poke and prod professional :winks: He finally found a doctor that ended up doing an invasive surgical biopsy on a groin node under GA. They biopsied the node and guess what? NORMAL! He STILL didn't believe it and was back posting within a couple of weeks :lac:

So yeah, I know you're poking and prodding so try this... Think of it like a mental gym workout.

Start out with half a day without touching your neck or self examining your body. Do that for a week. The next week, alternate a half day with a full day etc. Build up an attainable habit and goal to get yourself to stop poking and prodding. I guarantee they'll resolve but don't be surprised if they never go 100% back to normal as they could be shotty by now.

Positive thoughts

[Mb16]

I know, it’s an obsessive thing and I keep trying to occupy myself, but the physical side of it always brings me to remember, like the pain in my neck etc. I’ve had no real symptoms of any cancer I feel perfectly fine 90% of the time it’s just the nodes scare me. Why do they scare me? Because I always think the worst.

[Fishmanpa]

I know, it’s an obsessive thing and I keep trying to occupy myself, but the physical side of it always brings me to remember, like the pain in my neck etc. I’ve had no real symptoms of any cancer I feel perfectly fine 90% of the time it’s just the nodes scare me. Why do they scare me? Because I always think the worst.

I said this to another member privately but it's worth posting as it's the same fear;

We have 500-700 nodes in our bodies. Poke and prod and you're bound to find a few.

Maybe I can ask you... Why, when you look for your teeth, or your hair or your nails, you can always find them? You don't freak about your teeth, hair or nails do you? Why should you freak out about a natural part of your body who's job it is to help get rid of nasties in your body. It's not their fault their molecules ended up being part of your lymph node system. AND... they will swell if you poke and prod them. Poke and prod enough and they'll become shotty and never go back to their original state.

You find them because you're hyper-focused and poke and prod. End of story.

Positive thoughts

[Mb16]

Thanks I’ll keep that advice in mind, I just really need to sort my anxiety out but before doing that I need to sort my fear of lymphoma. I just wasn’t sure if it would show up on my blood results if I had something seriously wrong???

[SetYourMindFree]

Let me tell you about my little friend. He popped up and said hello on my neck. He overstayed his welcome but I couldn't evict him. He started to move his family in. In a matter of 3 months he went from the size of a pea to golf ball.

If you want reassurance, go to an ENT and demand he take them out and biopsy them. Then you can get thrown on a surgical table, pumped full of drugs, cut on, stitched up and pay them $10k. Or you can simply trust them, and compare your nodes to that of a real lymphoma patient and be thankful your doctors tell you yours aren't worrisome.

Positive thoughts :)

[Mb16]

I’m starting to control my fear of it but I keep on getting pain at the very back of my throat and under my chin just near the jawline, it’s not like a sore throat feeling it’s more of an ache? It’s usually worse at night and in the morning and also goes away with painkillers or just comes and goes on it’s own, I’m very concerned though what could it be? It’s lasted a whole week now. Doesn’t seem to be going away