I don't know what the next step is. Scared.

[LuluBear]

I posted a twofold post yesterday. The first part talked about fear of IBD based on current symptoms. The second part talked about how to handle the related HA. My post was understandably moved to the IBS/IBD/Stomach Forum, but my questions and concerns are more about general HA and how to deal with it. Yes, today it's IBD, but even within that fear, I'm still toying with the idea that it could be colon or ovarian cancer.My point is, it's always something. If my stomach somehow miraculously gets better, I'll just focus my attention on a growing mole, an autoimmune disease, brain cancer, MS, you name it.
So my question is less about my specific current fixation and more about how to work past this. I'm at a really, really bad place right now. Like non-functional. On a scale of 1-10, my panic is an 11. Constant. And it's so uncomfortable. The only relief I get is from sleep, but the second I wake up the intense panic is there to greet me. I feel like a junkie detoxing. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin and have nowhere to turn. My friends are thoughtful, but they can't relate. Same with my husband. I feel completely alone and isolated and helpless. And I'm losing the friends I have because I can't commit to plans, and everyone thinks I should just move past it, not realizing that I've been trying to do just that for the better part of 20 years.
The real kick in the pants is that I'm on meds and different behavioral and talk therapies. I've tried so many combos over the years and I've hit a plateau. And I'm scared that this is is for me, and feeling incredibly helpless.I just don't see a way out of this. Maybe for me this is the end of the line and there's just no cure for my anxiety. There are lots of psych illnesses for which there are no cures (e.g. schizophrenia).
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom for me? This forum has been a lifeline for which I'm very grateful.

[SarahNah]

I, myself suffer from a number of mental illness issues. I was in therapy for years to deal with depression before anxiety became a issue for me- next was health anxiety. I'm with a good therapist now, we work on a lot of things because health anxiety isn't my only issue so it's a long progress but it's a work in progress. Like I wasn't worried about my health for awhile but now it's back again.

I used to be in a hard place where I wasn't happy being at home and I wasn't happy with you friends yet when I was with friends I would only talk about my worries. My down moments, my health worries. Of course these people care about you that's why there your friend, yet you have to fight with everything within you to get out there and see them. The more you fight the overwhelming feeling of hopeless it actually becomes being out there. I find I'm always in a better mood when with friends! It's actually helps my mental state being out with people and doing things. I know it's different for everyone.

My ex boyfriend actually has schizophrenia, it was a long difficult time. It was rough, it did play a part in us breaking up because he refused to help in any way. Yet, right now? His living a rather good life, his doing good in uni. His doing well for himself...if you saw the state he was in a few years ago. You wouldn't believe it's the same person. It's only when he started to help himself did things get better.

I know it's hard, I struggle myself. I still do. I think the biggest thing is you have to help yourself, you have to be your own support. Which is hard but you can't always lean on people because you expect them to understand! I had these issue where I hated that my friends didn't understand- how are they meant too? The minds very complex. There might not be cure for all of these things but you can live to cope. The first step is yourself, from my experience.

I have those issue also, jumping from topic to topic of illness worry. Currently having one myself! Yet I'm doing my best to work through it. Good luck hun!