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I’m getting married and got a suit however I don’t like it also I worry about storing at her parents house as it may get germs.
I feel I don’t suit a suit and she doesn’t like kilts. Would I be able to wear just a waistcoat and a flower or shirt at night?
My family are bickering over my outfit I mean usually it’s the bride they focus but no. It seems I don’t suit jacket very suit very well but my partner prefers a suit to a kilt. She won’t rule a kilt out though. People in the family have moaned if I wear trousers and only a waist coat instead and if I wear the shirt tucked out.
I fear this wedding is about people pleasing as it’s a posh venue and if I don’t dress smart they may moan. I could wear a shirt and tie only at night but again some could moan.
I fear wearing something and being self conscious and having a rotten day. Also I want to go to Rome for a honeymoon but hate flying and this worries me so I fear this whole wedding is a farce I was once looking forward to it now not so much :ohmy:
ankietyjoe
22-08-18, 21:26
Tell them if they don't shutup you'll wear a onesie and a tiara.
Tell them if they don't shutup you'll wear a onesie and a tiara.
Haha I just don’t want to feel self coniocus and worry about the social pressure that most were suits or kilts :blush:
venusbluejeans
27-08-18, 22:42
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Emmz
MyNameIsTerry
28-08-18, 02:17
Didn't know you were a Scot, Phil. The temperature has dipped a bit so something blue will be covered if you are a true Scot :winks:
How about a suit jacket only and switch to a shirt and tie but not tucked in for meal and evening?
My ocd is making me worry as I took the suit to her parents house and a toilet was unblocked there 6 months ago so I fear all the germs in that house?
MyNameIsTerry
31-08-18, 02:37
What does your fiancé think about what you want to wear? It's the bride's day after all so if she is fine with it the family should back of (well, maybe not MIL's :biggrin:)
What does your fiancé think about what you want to wear? It's the bride's day after all so if she is fine with it the family should back of (well, maybe not MIL's :biggrin:)
She likes suit.
I think I have found a solution anyway I found a smaller suit jacket I can wear for the ceremony and pics and switch to a shirt and tie rest of the night.
So no waist coat. My worry is I took it over to her parents for an opinion but my ocd makes me fear the germs like I say a toilet was unblocked in that house so I fear contamination ever since I can mention it to the theripst again :blush:
MyNameIsTerry
01-09-18, 03:29
That's good news. Got to get something which works for those wedding pics when she's looking back through them.
The wedding is very important to you and so is your fiancé. Thoughts of not letting her down can be more powerful than the doubts of your OCD if you put yourself behind them.
That's good news. Got to get something which works for those wedding pics when she's looking back through them.
The wedding is very important to you and so is your fiancé. Thoughts of not letting her down can be more powerful than the doubts of your OCD if you put yourself behind them.
I left the suit at her mums as I worried if it was here I’d get a thought dirty washing would go near it. The new suit I got u took over there and wanted to see if she liked it but fear germs in that house.
My urge is to replace the suit but that’s how my ocd has been operating for months. I am having therapy but I’m afraid there has been no cure yet for me I have seen small improvements but that’s all.
It may not matter what suit I fear I may worry and my fear is how I will smile in the photos when I may feel tense and anxious about what I’m wearing either worrying the suit is too big or too small? :blush:
I do plan on changing and showering at night so my worry is the daytime bit..
To be honest Phil a wedding is very stressful for people who don't have GAD or OCD issues. I think you are going to have to increase your therapy sessions in the run up to the wedding because you need a consistent approach to managing your anxieties and asking for advice and reassurance from forum members is going to be frustrating and unhelpful particularly as you are having difficulty accepting advice which challenges your OCD. Your therapist would be far better placed to help you here and it would be money well spent which you would be otherwise spending on replacing "contaminated" items.
To be honest Phil a wedding is very stressful for people who don't have GAD or OCD issues. I think you are going to have to increase your therapy sessions in the run up to the wedding because you need a consistent approach to managing your anxieties and asking for advice and reassurance from forum members is going to be frustrating and unhelpful particularly as you are having difficulty accepting advice which challenges your OCD. Your therapist would be far better placed to help you here and it would be money well spent which you would be otherwise spending on replacing "contaminated" items.
I’m on my 5th session next week.
How many sessions do you think I will need?
MyNameIsTerry
02-09-18, 02:03
No therapist is going to be able to give you a firm answer, or any doctor. They may give you a range but really it comes down to how well you response, severity, complexity, environment pressures, etc.
Basically how long is a piece of string.
Like pulisa says a wedding is stressful. Therefore if you find yourself posting on here more throughout this we need to be mindful you are under pressure and this may reduce as you get through it.
All that matters about your therapy is that you are making progress. If you put time limits on yourself you are just creating unachievable goals and these hinder recovery. It's best to look towards micro goals. They add up.
There’s been a big debate again in the family tonight if I should wear a more fitted 34 jacket or loose what should I do? I hate baggy suits but fear people will say suit is too tight? Should it be more fitted?
Do you really think that people will comment on the fit of your suit on what should be the happiest day of your life? They will be busy enjoying the occasion and wishing you both happiness not scrutinising your clothes. Wear something which you are comfortable in and with-you've got far more important issues to deal with.
Do you really think that people will comment on the fit of your suit on what should be the happiest day of your life? They will be busy enjoying the occasion and wishing you both happiness not scrutinising your clothes. Wear something which you are comfortable in and with-you've got far more important issues to deal with.
Yes right now I’m so self conscious what if people on Facebook think the suit is a good or bad fit?
Basically I’ve been told both are ok. My plan is to ditch the jacket after photos and ceremony anyway so is basically finding right jacket for an hour or so :ohmy:
---------- Post added at 20:40 ---------- Previous post was at 20:39 ----------
I fear buying lots more suit jackets until I get the right opinion some prefer the larger jacket and I wasn’t keen on that
MRS STRESS ED
02-09-18, 20:50
omg tell them it's your wedding and just wear what you feel
best with that is the thing about weddings people think they should have a say,
do what is best for you it's bad enough your dealing with ocd l
know how dibilating it is xx
Best wishes
Phil, you really do not need to seek out your Facebook friends' approval on your choice of wedding wear.
Phil, you really do not need to seek out your Facebook friends' approval on your choice of wedding wear.
That’s the issue though I feel it’s all about the show and how I look. When other people put wedding pics up I study them so other people probably do the same.
Obviously I can just wear a shirt for the Cermony. I have been kilt shopping, tired around 20 suits on and now im worried about the fit. I know you can get tailored but that’s expensive. I worry the suit is too large but other one is tight and people may say it’s tight or something but surely fitting is better than baggy? :blush:
I fear I will continue to buy more suits
MyNameIsTerry
03-09-18, 02:49
What I believe is that if the bride is happy, that's all the confirmation you need. If you turn up in a bin bag and she is fine with it, great. She's more likely the one concerned about the wedding photos and looking back.
So, if she is happy with your choices, that's it for me. Some relatives may grumble, especially parents, but it's your wedding and you do it however you want to.
Back to the tartan again, eh? Does this mean bringing in "clans" and will their be any waring sides in the families? :biggrin:
People will always be self conscious with something like a wedding. And you will always find someone who will moan about anything. If my bride was happy, that would be it for me.
I posted some pics on a wedding forum see here
http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/wedding-fashion/wedding-wear-for-groom/485932.html
I don’t have a waist coat on in the pics and I wore a slim fit suit and one is a more baggy one would slim fit look ok or do I have to go with the other one? One was from a high street shop one was from a suit shop.
I like the last pic best
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
I like the last pic best
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thanks
I will be most likely wearing a jacket and switching to shirt only
However I uploaded some more I did a waist coat pic with shirt out and jacket with shirt on show
Uploaded pic of me shirt and tie only that’s what I hope for after photos
MyNameIsTerry
04-09-18, 02:23
The suits look good to me. The skinnier one looks a little more tailored to your body but the loose one is obviously tailored style, it's not loose I know loose suits where they are wider at the hips and less pulled in for the V shape.
The 3 piece looks fine too. Depends how formal or informal you want to look.
Shirt in or out depends on you. I'm a shirt in guy with formal shirts, always have been but I've always worn suits to work so shirts being in are normal. I've never been part of the trousers & shirt crowd when out drinking.
What does your fiancé think? Her opinion matters much more than ours.
(and no kilt in the pics I noticed :whistles:)
The suits look good to me. The skinnier one looks a little more tailored to your body but the loose one is obviously tailored style, it's not loose I know loose suits where they are wider at the hips and less pulled in for the V shape.
The 3 piece looks fine too. Depends how formal or informal you want to look.
Shirt in or out depends on you. I'm a shirt in guy with formal shirts, always have been but I've always worn suits to work so shirts being in are normal. I've never been part of the trousers & shirt crowd when out drinking.
What does your fiancé think? Her opinion matters much more than ours.
(and no kilt in the pics I noticed :whistles:)
Yes I’m sure maybe tailored maybe a 35 would do but that’s an expensive route and I still wouldn’t be happy my partner likes the slimmer size suit but some others say the bigger suit is best.
Basically the jacket is coming off after photos and shirt will be worn with a tie and that seems best option. A kilt is more heavy and was never my partners choice anyway.
Aslong and fitted suit is ok I mean I don’t know how much room are you suppose to have in suits? Should they be more loose? I never wear them to know because I always felt suit jackets drowned me as I’m slim.
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