jeffjones
19-08-18, 16:59
Hey guys the past 8 months I've been dealing with OCD of existential and philosophical thoughts literally I have no idea what to believe anymore and my perception of what I'm doing is messed up like daily vibe i just feel confused and lost. My thoughts are constantly philosophical in nature and I can't stop thinking about why I am here and what caused it and if anything is even real at all. Im scared I'm going crazy because Ive starting become numb to thinking about these things and its all i think about. i used to be an ambitious athlete with many dreams and aspirations and I'm afraid being misdiagnosed with dp/dr after a panic attack made me research it and now i find myself in this rabbit hole of existential thoughts. my thoughts are so deep and disturbing id rather not even share them because at this point there is no way they are even romotly rational because there is no evidence of any of them if I'm being honest my mind has been just chasing to ruminate over this to find an answer Ive spoken to friends, family, and a priest and I still feel lost. Like the dark night of the soul lost. the worst part and scariest part to me is how I can never know these answers idk if I'm going crazy because there is literally holes in my memory like I'm so focused on this philosophical crap to the point I'm just coasting through my daily life not really connecting with anyone outside of myself I'm just in my mind ruminating letting myself go. I know I'm lacking discipline to just stop indulging in this pattern of though but at the same time i don't know how not to think about these things. everyone tells me just have faith but that seems ridiculous to me. My biggest thing I've been ruminating over is solipsism i just can't unsee it and the only reason i know about that crap is cause i read a dumb forum on this website about it but ever since i haven't been able to stop thinking about that which just opened the flood gates for other theories and crap.any advice for me i feel like I'm losing it but if u guys made it through then i can too. Im just concerned because I haven't been able to shake these thoughts and I'm just going through the motions and I'm worried I'm going crazy like how do i know I'm not already crazy. Cause i can't stop and i don't see a tunnel out have any of u guys felt this way and recovered