Borderline29
20-08-18, 09:41
Hi
I’m new to this place but definitely not new to anxiety, I’ve struggled with it on and off for over 10 years however over the last few months after a period of wellness it’s returned but in a way I’ve never struggled with it before.
I’ve always been treated for depression and never had any help for anxiety until this year when I started CBT for anxiety. I’ve got a couple of sessions left.
Long story short I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago but I don’t think I ever had the full blown disorder just traits, anyway I had two and a half years of dbt and that helped me stop unhealthy behaviours. But I feel like my anxiety has just been pushed to the back and ignored, both by me and the professionals.
I wake up early every morning, around 5-6, panicking to the point where I feel nauseous. Gp did a bunch of tests and they all came back normal, I’ve had some reflux issues in the past and she’s given me antacids which help a bit. Normally I used to be able to get up and eat breakfast but now I have to wait a few hours, can just about stomach a yoghurt and a cup of tea. I have a bit of a fear of throwing up I’ve never really addressed until now. I’ve lost a bit of weight from struggling to eat, which friends have noticed. It also doesn’t help that I have ibs which has flared up along with my anxiety! I can handle that as it’s in the morning and I take meds to get through work.
If I’m at work then this helps my anxiety but on days off I worry about worrying and then worry about that too ...!! I can’t seem to step out of the cycle. I should probably mention that to my cbt therapist.
I feel on the verge of tears all the time. Mental illness has completely ruined my life and my career. When I had a breakdown I was almost at the end of training for a life long career I’ll never go back to, because I couldn’t cope with the stress. I’m stuck in a low paid, insecure zero hours job which I enjoy and I am trying to hunt for permanent work but I’m worried that now isn’t the right time.
I find yoga, drawing and painting, knitting and reading helpful. I also have pets, and they keep me going. I sometimes get fleeting thoughts of not wanting to go on , but I understand that as really wanting to stop feeling like this rather than not living anymore and anyway, my pets need me as much as I need them.
I’m just feeling all over the place atm so any tips would really be welcomed. Also I just needed to get it off my chest.
I’m new to this place but definitely not new to anxiety, I’ve struggled with it on and off for over 10 years however over the last few months after a period of wellness it’s returned but in a way I’ve never struggled with it before.
I’ve always been treated for depression and never had any help for anxiety until this year when I started CBT for anxiety. I’ve got a couple of sessions left.
Long story short I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 5 years ago but I don’t think I ever had the full blown disorder just traits, anyway I had two and a half years of dbt and that helped me stop unhealthy behaviours. But I feel like my anxiety has just been pushed to the back and ignored, both by me and the professionals.
I wake up early every morning, around 5-6, panicking to the point where I feel nauseous. Gp did a bunch of tests and they all came back normal, I’ve had some reflux issues in the past and she’s given me antacids which help a bit. Normally I used to be able to get up and eat breakfast but now I have to wait a few hours, can just about stomach a yoghurt and a cup of tea. I have a bit of a fear of throwing up I’ve never really addressed until now. I’ve lost a bit of weight from struggling to eat, which friends have noticed. It also doesn’t help that I have ibs which has flared up along with my anxiety! I can handle that as it’s in the morning and I take meds to get through work.
If I’m at work then this helps my anxiety but on days off I worry about worrying and then worry about that too ...!! I can’t seem to step out of the cycle. I should probably mention that to my cbt therapist.
I feel on the verge of tears all the time. Mental illness has completely ruined my life and my career. When I had a breakdown I was almost at the end of training for a life long career I’ll never go back to, because I couldn’t cope with the stress. I’m stuck in a low paid, insecure zero hours job which I enjoy and I am trying to hunt for permanent work but I’m worried that now isn’t the right time.
I find yoga, drawing and painting, knitting and reading helpful. I also have pets, and they keep me going. I sometimes get fleeting thoughts of not wanting to go on , but I understand that as really wanting to stop feeling like this rather than not living anymore and anyway, my pets need me as much as I need them.
I’m just feeling all over the place atm so any tips would really be welcomed. Also I just needed to get it off my chest.