Got to keep the bad jokes coming!

[happyone]

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."
"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.


Did you hear about the psychiatrist who kept his wife under the bed?

He thought she was a little potty!


A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!"
The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."


Doctor: "It's no good. I can't find anything wrong with you. It must just be the effects of drinking."

Patient: "I'll come back when you're sober then!"

Happyone
xx

[trac67]

:lisa::lisa:

Loved the one about the 80 year old man really made me laugh

Love

Trac xxx

[happyone]

just a couple more......


A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."
The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks.
The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?"
The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love."
The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?"
The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex."
"Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"



What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist?
If you say to a psychiatrist "I hate my mother," he will ask "Why do you say that?" while a psychologist will say "Thank you for sharing that with us."



How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital? http://www.workjoke.com/pinkball.gif The patients get better and leave.
http://www.workjoke.com/pinkball.gif Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God.
http://www.workjoke.com/pinkball.gif The staff have the keys!



Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress, I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I JUST DID, DIDN'T I, YOU STUPID B******


Poor I know but I love em!!

happyone
x

[Quirky]

Lol Happy :D

Lisa x

[jill]

LOL, I love them, :yesyes: :shades:

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

[groovygranny]

Waaaaaaahahahaha!

Where do you get 'em from happyone!

Don't stop!!

:hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[clickaway]

Great ones happy

Did you get them from your own GP or from a shrink :D :D :D