SarahNah
25-08-18, 02:07
So, for the last year I've been through a ungodly amount of tests. A chest x-ray, CT scan, ultrasound, stool sample, tested for crohns ..so on, so on. (It's such a long list!)
Today, I went into my consult to discuss the result of a few tests I did awhile back. I felt horrible going in this morning, I was still struggling with my leg/back/knee.hip (so many areas, feeling 222 rather then 22!) mainly on the right side but sometimes on the left. I've been having over a week now..it can feel worse at night which freaked me even more....banging headache...that strange thing with my ear/jaw that's been going on for awhile....I thought I was going to be sick. I had all these awful ideas running through my mind! You guys know all the worries. Like oh, will I bring this up and get more tests...
But then. He told me all the tests I had done for crohns had come back. I don't have it. My bacterial infection was cleared up. My stool was good. My blood count and all the other blood were perfect. Everything was perfect. He was happy to sign me off! I nearly cried. I didn't even think to bring up the other issues I was so happy! I thought I was going to cry! I was signed off. I walked out of that doctor feeling like I was walking on air. I had come through it!
I was so happy all day, then this evening my mind started to worry again when I remembered all the other stuff. Oh no. Bone tumor/cancer. Brain- Some rare- then I said no. The bloods were fine. Everything was fine. You are going to be just fine. I remind myself off the joy I felt today. I've been going in and out of the doctor for a year now, a year! There would have to be a issue somewhere it would have been picked up! No matter how much I worry about rare or other issues when one was picked away!
I nearly found myself googling about bone cancer to see if it was what was causing the pain in my leg (all the other areas I listed above) and I was like of this girl I read about something like..... No. I can't do this not again. I stopped myself. I couldn't fall into this again.
I need to grow stronger, so I'm going to try my best! My very best to move forward with positives and not dwelling ! And I do already get real life help! I go to therapy and I'm ready to discuss with her soon! I have a appointment in two weeks! I've been doing my best to reason, like the leg pains and stuff with not really fully sticking to the gym maybe? I hit it hard and in another place I talked about the issues of the intense pain I felt in my back over a week ago and in my leg. So I haven't been since...and for lazy reason. Yet my mind goes...what if and I'm trying to stop that what if!
Today, I went into my consult to discuss the result of a few tests I did awhile back. I felt horrible going in this morning, I was still struggling with my leg/back/knee.hip (so many areas, feeling 222 rather then 22!) mainly on the right side but sometimes on the left. I've been having over a week now..it can feel worse at night which freaked me even more....banging headache...that strange thing with my ear/jaw that's been going on for awhile....I thought I was going to be sick. I had all these awful ideas running through my mind! You guys know all the worries. Like oh, will I bring this up and get more tests...
But then. He told me all the tests I had done for crohns had come back. I don't have it. My bacterial infection was cleared up. My stool was good. My blood count and all the other blood were perfect. Everything was perfect. He was happy to sign me off! I nearly cried. I didn't even think to bring up the other issues I was so happy! I thought I was going to cry! I was signed off. I walked out of that doctor feeling like I was walking on air. I had come through it!
I was so happy all day, then this evening my mind started to worry again when I remembered all the other stuff. Oh no. Bone tumor/cancer. Brain- Some rare- then I said no. The bloods were fine. Everything was fine. You are going to be just fine. I remind myself off the joy I felt today. I've been going in and out of the doctor for a year now, a year! There would have to be a issue somewhere it would have been picked up! No matter how much I worry about rare or other issues when one was picked away!
I nearly found myself googling about bone cancer to see if it was what was causing the pain in my leg (all the other areas I listed above) and I was like of this girl I read about something like..... No. I can't do this not again. I stopped myself. I couldn't fall into this again.
I need to grow stronger, so I'm going to try my best! My very best to move forward with positives and not dwelling ! And I do already get real life help! I go to therapy and I'm ready to discuss with her soon! I have a appointment in two weeks! I've been doing my best to reason, like the leg pains and stuff with not really fully sticking to the gym maybe? I hit it hard and in another place I talked about the issues of the intense pain I felt in my back over a week ago and in my leg. So I haven't been since...and for lazy reason. Yet my mind goes...what if and I'm trying to stop that what if!