nickdanstew
29-08-18, 12:27
Hi everyone. First time posting but I have long been a reader of the site. I'm Nick, married, 38 year old dad of 2 daughters (5 & 3) and we have a 2.5 week old new son. I have suffered with health anxiety and depression since my late teens. I find it incredibly frustrating being the way I am - it is at times of crisis literally unbearable and consuming. Moreover, I truly feel sorry for my wife and family when I am at my worst as it of course prevents me from being in the moment and enjoying our life together.
Reaching out to you more than anything to tell a bit of my story, and see if it resonates or helps anyone. My goal isn't reassurance about symptoms as we all know that is a short-term gain but doesn't solve the underlying issues. By all means please comment in any way you wish though.
As I say, I'm a long term sufferer. I can reflect on my Mum's own severe depression and anxiety plus alcoholism as something of a trigger. My parents divorced when I was 12 and then my Mum left and I didn't see her for 7 years. When I was a 17 my Dad's brother became ill with pancreatic cancer at the age of 40 and passed away 8 months later. That point particularly is where things kicked in for me in terms of the ongoing health anxiety I have.
I am university educated and have worked for the same FTSE 100 company since my early 20s. I have a good career, well rewarded but of course some stress and expectation. I am very, very grateful for the life I have, hugely grateful. Which makes it all the more shameful that health anxiety at times takes all the joy away from how I am existing.
My main and repeated issue is my abdomen. I have over the years had repeated periods of chronic, dull right side abdominal pain. Ache more than pain in fact. This leads me to constant anxiety and fear of cancer. Real fear. The vicious circle swirls, I go off to my GP, they check me and reassure that I seem fine. Off I go. Google becomes my 24/7 destination and before I know it, I'm dying. It is awful. But of course the niggle is I do have physical pain.
Stressful times bring this about, I'm sure of that. In fact I have had similar abdominal pain periods (6-12 weeks) around the births of all of my children.
Right now I am going through it with my son arriving. I have felt terrible and terrified. My poor wife is dealing with a new born and 2 young kids, plus a 38 year old kid!
I have visited the GP twice in 3 weeks and been examined. I have told them I am worried I have bowel cancer, but have been reassured that as my only symptom being abdominal pain that though right hand side mid level does also move around, it is just my anxiety. I have restarted with Sertraline 2 weeks ago at my GP's request too, in an effort to try and manage my situation. That of course in the short term has been pretty difficult, with my having abdominal ache as a side effect of the medication. I have felt much worse.
It is a struggle. Good luck to you all.
N
Reaching out to you more than anything to tell a bit of my story, and see if it resonates or helps anyone. My goal isn't reassurance about symptoms as we all know that is a short-term gain but doesn't solve the underlying issues. By all means please comment in any way you wish though.
As I say, I'm a long term sufferer. I can reflect on my Mum's own severe depression and anxiety plus alcoholism as something of a trigger. My parents divorced when I was 12 and then my Mum left and I didn't see her for 7 years. When I was a 17 my Dad's brother became ill with pancreatic cancer at the age of 40 and passed away 8 months later. That point particularly is where things kicked in for me in terms of the ongoing health anxiety I have.
I am university educated and have worked for the same FTSE 100 company since my early 20s. I have a good career, well rewarded but of course some stress and expectation. I am very, very grateful for the life I have, hugely grateful. Which makes it all the more shameful that health anxiety at times takes all the joy away from how I am existing.
My main and repeated issue is my abdomen. I have over the years had repeated periods of chronic, dull right side abdominal pain. Ache more than pain in fact. This leads me to constant anxiety and fear of cancer. Real fear. The vicious circle swirls, I go off to my GP, they check me and reassure that I seem fine. Off I go. Google becomes my 24/7 destination and before I know it, I'm dying. It is awful. But of course the niggle is I do have physical pain.
Stressful times bring this about, I'm sure of that. In fact I have had similar abdominal pain periods (6-12 weeks) around the births of all of my children.
Right now I am going through it with my son arriving. I have felt terrible and terrified. My poor wife is dealing with a new born and 2 young kids, plus a 38 year old kid!
I have visited the GP twice in 3 weeks and been examined. I have told them I am worried I have bowel cancer, but have been reassured that as my only symptom being abdominal pain that though right hand side mid level does also move around, it is just my anxiety. I have restarted with Sertraline 2 weeks ago at my GP's request too, in an effort to try and manage my situation. That of course in the short term has been pretty difficult, with my having abdominal ache as a side effect of the medication. I have felt much worse.
It is a struggle. Good luck to you all.
N