lofwyr
30-08-18, 06:24
Hey guys, it is late, and I am feeling particularly nervous tonight, alone, a more than a bit scared. Sleep is not likely tonight, and came here to vent my fears as a means of catharsis.
Please don't move this to the female issues section, as it really isn't about that. It is about my fears, and projecting my HA onto another.
My wife has been having ongoing perimenopause weirdness. She would go six months with no period, then get two in one month, then another three months with nothing, then she had three in August. She does have PCOS, and she has both a family history of endometriosis, but no diagnosis herself, though according to her, she does have a good number of the symptoms. She is 45 as of July.
After a bit over a week with no period like symptoms or bleeding, she felt she was getting ready for a very welcomed dry spell. Then just yesterday it came back, with a day of pain and cramps preceeding.
Now, as I write this, she has a high heart rate of 122, abdominal*pain, and a fever of 101.3. I tried to get her to go to the ER, but she wants to wait until morning. I acquiesced because of my history with HA, but right now am a nervous wreck. I have learned, surprisingly,*to deal with my own medical issues, both real and imagined, fairly well. But the thought of something being seriously wrong with her scares me so badly. By a wide margin, I would rather die than face a life without her in it, and her being sick, even if it is a coincidental viral infection, crushes me.*
It sounds melodramatic.
Hell, it *is* melodramatic. It could be any number of things that are not even serious, in fact most things it could be are not deadly.
I am doing my best to hold on to those hopes, but HA is a harder dragon for me to slay when I am projecting it on someone else. She knows my history with HA, and to my mind, she is the opposite. She avoids medical assistance as long as she can, which makes me wonder how bad it really is for her.*
I am not seeking any reassurance, though like any addict, in my ignorance of all these female problems*I suppose my old HA friend living in my mind would always welcome it.
But I do not need or even want the reassurance. Reassurance does more harm than good, in spite of the comfort it *seems* to provide, that momentary relief, be it ever so fleeting.
I really just came to vent a fear, and in so doing, hope to cast it to the winds and bid it farewell.**
I hope you are all fast asleep and not facing your dragons tonight as well...
Please don't move this to the female issues section, as it really isn't about that. It is about my fears, and projecting my HA onto another.
My wife has been having ongoing perimenopause weirdness. She would go six months with no period, then get two in one month, then another three months with nothing, then she had three in August. She does have PCOS, and she has both a family history of endometriosis, but no diagnosis herself, though according to her, she does have a good number of the symptoms. She is 45 as of July.
After a bit over a week with no period like symptoms or bleeding, she felt she was getting ready for a very welcomed dry spell. Then just yesterday it came back, with a day of pain and cramps preceeding.
Now, as I write this, she has a high heart rate of 122, abdominal*pain, and a fever of 101.3. I tried to get her to go to the ER, but she wants to wait until morning. I acquiesced because of my history with HA, but right now am a nervous wreck. I have learned, surprisingly,*to deal with my own medical issues, both real and imagined, fairly well. But the thought of something being seriously wrong with her scares me so badly. By a wide margin, I would rather die than face a life without her in it, and her being sick, even if it is a coincidental viral infection, crushes me.*
It sounds melodramatic.
Hell, it *is* melodramatic. It could be any number of things that are not even serious, in fact most things it could be are not deadly.
I am doing my best to hold on to those hopes, but HA is a harder dragon for me to slay when I am projecting it on someone else. She knows my history with HA, and to my mind, she is the opposite. She avoids medical assistance as long as she can, which makes me wonder how bad it really is for her.*
I am not seeking any reassurance, though like any addict, in my ignorance of all these female problems*I suppose my old HA friend living in my mind would always welcome it.
But I do not need or even want the reassurance. Reassurance does more harm than good, in spite of the comfort it *seems* to provide, that momentary relief, be it ever so fleeting.
I really just came to vent a fear, and in so doing, hope to cast it to the winds and bid it farewell.**
I hope you are all fast asleep and not facing your dragons tonight as well...