Insomnia fear has come back

[HullSimplibus]

Well, my fear of Fatal Insomnia has yet again come back..

I was having fragmented sleep originally, where I would go to bed at say midnight, then wake up at six, before going back to sleep and waking up at nine or ten.

But, I got a sickness bug. Last night was really rough. I was vomiting once ever few hours and only got around 5 hours sleep. I was exhausted in the day and dozing a lot.

I also had panic attacks lately, which has also MORE convinced me there is something terribly wrong.

But unlike others, I just could not put the insomnia down to the sickness. It was instantly SFI again.

It is depressing me so much. I cannot stand the worry anymore. I am afraid that I will die a painful and slow death and leave all of my family behind..:weep::weep::weep:

[nomorepanic]

Why are you going to die?

I don't sleep well and I am not dead

[NancyW]

Why do you know anything about Fatal Insomnia?
You wouldn't unless you googled it and in that case... you did this to yourself.
You aren't going to die of fatal insomnia, I'd venture to say no one on this board (which are thousands ) is going to die of it.

[HullSimplibus]

Why do you know anything about Fatal Insomnia?
You wouldn't unless you googled it and in that case... you did this to yourself.
You aren't going to die of fatal insomnia, I'd venture to say no one on this board (which are thousands ) is going to die of it.

It was a YouTube video originally, which I watched years ago, and I never really had health anxiety back then when it was mentioned.

Then I wasn't sleeping well after missing two nights recently, and it popped out of my subconscious mind and gave me a panic attack, and I went googling it, obviously.

I end up googling it every time..I don't learn..:lac:

[NancyW]

I end up googling it every time..I don't learn..:lac:

Why do you think that is?

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's the thing with anxiety disorders, the won't likely disappear on their own because they need a load of the right work, repetition and time. Some people drift out of them but can be doing the right things without knowing. Others need more directed work.

In recovery you have to expect blips even so. It's important to accept it so you it doesn't upset you so much and you won't sink down the old holes again. But also reducing overall levels of anxiety, having healthier nourishing behaviours, etc are very important.

It's also important to know your enemy. That's the one inside, how it reinforces itself through obsessive-compulsive cycles and negative behaviours.

[Kingdawson]

Well, my fear of Fatal Insomnia has yet again come back..

I was having fragmented sleep originally, where I would go to bed at say midnight, then wake up at six, before going back to sleep and waking up at nine or ten.

But, I got a sickness bug. Last night was really rough. I was vomiting once ever few hours and only got around 5 hours sleep. I was exhausted in the day and dozing a lot.

I also had panic attacks lately, which has also MORE convinced me there is something terribly wrong.

But unlike others, I just could not put the insomnia down to the sickness. It was instantly SFI again.

It is depressing me so much. I cannot stand the worry anymore. I am afraid that I will die a painful and slow death and leave all of my family behind..:weep::weep::weep:

"Only got 5 hours" lots of people would be really happy at "only" getting that.

SFI is about big cognitive issues anyway and not insomnia which comes later.

[HullSimplibus]

Why do you think that is?

Usually because I have a nagging thought saying 'Google it find out more'

---------- Post added at 18:56 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------


"Only got 5 hours" lots of people would be really happy at "only" getting that.

SFI is about big cognitive issues anyway and not insomnia which comes later.

I am not even sure if it was 5 hours. That's just what I thought it felt like.

I know. I have not noticed any cognitive issues apart from small memory issues, probably because I am worrying myself a lot.

But obviously, like 99.9% of people who have health anxiety, I have 'what if this' and 'what if that' thoughts.

[NancyW]

[QUOTE=HullSimplibus;1821219]Usually because I have a nagging thought saying 'Google it find out more'[COLOR="blue"]

Is googling helping you feel better or making you feel worse?

Hey... I'm all for it if it's helping you but if it's not and making you worse... it's all on you then.

[Kingdawson]

Usually because I have a nagging thought saying 'Google it find out more'

---------- Post added at 18:56 ---------- Previous post was at 18:53 ----------



I am not even sure if it was 5 hours. That's just what I thought it felt like.

I know. I have not noticed any cognitive issues apart from small memory issues, probably because I am worrying myself a lot.

But obviously, like 99.9% of people who have health anxiety, I have 'what if this' and 'what if that' thoughts.

You are fine. Enjoy life.

[HullSimplibus]

[QUOTE=HullSimplibus;1821219]Usually because I have a nagging thought saying 'Google it find out more'[COLOR="blue"]

Is googling helping you feel better or making you feel worse?

Hey... I'm all for it if it's helping you but if it's not and making you worse... it's all on you then.

Worse. But I always get an impulse to do it.

[NancyW]

[QUOTE=NancyW;1821224]

Worse. But I always get an impulse to do it.

Do you always act on impulses?

[HullSimplibus]

[QUOTE=HullSimplibus;1821241]

Do you always act on impulses?

Not with everything..But I act with impulses all the time when it comes to health anxiety and google.

[Capercrohnj]

"Only got 5 hours" lots of people would be really happy at "only" getting that.

SFI is about big cognitive issues anyway and not insomnia which comes later.

I get 6 maybe 7 hours and I take 13 mg zopliclone and cannabis.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Impulse or compulsion? They differ. Impulse is more about seeking the high, compulsion is about dispelling the fear in some way.

But what you say about Google is very common in the HA style disorders. Try to see it as your subconscious trying to trick you into starting up the cycle again. Is it so different to your subconscious blurting out "we need milk" when you are walking around the supermarket? Something triggers this, it's just how brains work, but we process tons of these thoughts everyday. Many we write off as nothing, but with our fears they are triggering cycles off. Until you learn to change how you react to them, and learn to tolerate the anxiety doing nothing with them causes for now until it starts to change, the cycles remain.

[Designer]

Honestly, I completely sympathise. I went through a very challenging time in July, and the week after flying back I suddenly had a week where I could not sleep at all! And I mean at all. Roll on 3 months and I haven’t had a night without vivid dreaming or slept through the night and my ability to nap has gone.

Googling things is the worst, but it’s in our nature to do so, and we put all the dots together to form the worst possible outcome. As someone said to me, there’s only 24 cases in history, IN HUMAN HISTORY of SFI. That’s more than 1 in 6 BILLION. Even then the insomnia comes in the latter stages, as the first stages you do sleep through the night but get zero deep sleep and have quite noticeable cognitive issues before the sleep issues even show themselves.

What you have (like myself) is severe anxiety and HA. You’ll convince yourself somehow that you’re one of the unlucky ones... but you’re not. SFI doesn’t just start with complete insomnia, it’s subtle and gradually progresses over time.

I don’t even know when I’ve slept, time just shoots by. That’s classic stress disorder. One day I can get 5 hours straight and feel okay, the next 5 hours broken and feel awful. Stress and sleep deprivation and anxiety is a horrible concoction that will make your body feel truly awful. But you’re not alone, there’s many of us going through this. We just need to have the mental strength to realise it’s in our own heads and not some rare disease.