wkwfan
03-09-18, 02:10
I'm currently 22 years old, about 5'10" and around 130 lbs.
I had the echocardiogram and stress test nearly two years ago in November 2016. My panic attacks started the month prior (plus a respiratory infection which I think triggered my anxiety to the max). Not too long after I had those tests, I felt much better than the month before. I could eat well. I could breathe well. I could talk well. I thought things were going to back to normal.
Fast forward to early March and I start having panic attacks and trouble eating again. I breakdown and go live with my dad for the next couple of months. I get referred to a gastroenterologist by my PCP and have a endoscopy I think around early to mid May. They find nothing and say everything was in good shape, but I was referred to genealogy for Marfan's because I could do the wrist thing (I have small wrists and some pretty long fingers I guess).
Way before I could ever have that appointment though, I get into a car accident. I had a concussion so I forgot how I happened but I was apparently in fault (which I find hard to believe but I guess shit happens). Doctor's said everything looked fine and that I don't have to follow up with a specialist. I'm lucky to be alive. So I go back home to my mom's place to recover from the concussion, which wasn't so bad. After a few weeks, my previous symptoms were going away, and I just happened to be fine. No panic attacks, no godawful symptoms. I could eat and drink with vigor and did what I normally did before all of this crap happened.
I see the genealogist the gastro referred me to just to be safe and he said that I don't have Marfan's due to not meeting the minimal requirements of possibly having it. Even before I got that news, I was feeling really well and normal, but hearing that made really happy.
I'd say from June of last year to mid June of this year, I felt great. I was doing the things I fear to do or feel physically incapable of doing now: drives that were a few miles long to 30+ miles long, aimless night drives, going to the theater multiple times a month (thank you MoviePass), eating at restaurants, eating at home, eating a good amount of food with no problem in general, long walks, being in public, singing and dancing, etc.
The one thing I wish I got to do was see the friends I made in college more. The last time I saw them in person was at Halloween party/bar crawl, and it was the first time I'd seen most of them all together in more than a year. A few of them were concerned for me and texted me and told me to tell them about this sort of stuff because they cared and missed me. I said I would but since that summer, I didn't really talk to them much about it. I went from sparingly talking to them, to not really communicating at all. I now only see them on Instagram and Snapchat. It's almost been a year since I've seen in person again. The text I got from any of them was a birthday text. I know that they don't secretly hate me. At least that's what I think. But I've always felt like I'd be a nuisance to people by contacting them (this goes way beyond friends) to say hello. Then I start to think I'm a bad friend for not communicating with them and trying to initiate conversations with them more. So it becomes a loop of me periodically feeling urge to talk to somebody but not doing so out of fear of rejection. I realize this topic, although related in a sense, is a whole 'nother conversation that will only make this post longer.
So to cut to the chase, I had what I believe was my first huge panic attack in over a year. It was on the weekend, sometime in the middle of June of this year, I was on a pretty regular trip to a mall around 14 miles away from my home. I noticed that my breathing felt like it was getting shallow about half way there and not to long after that, I go into full panic mode. I hadn't had an attack in such a long time so it felt like I was going to have a heart attack, a fear of most health anxiety sufferers I'm sure. I was afraid of having one on the road so I entered a neighborhood so I can park and get off the car to get some air correctly gauge the situation. After 10 or so minutes, I realized it was just a panic attack, despite it feeling more sinister. I get in the car and continue my trip to the mall. The attack happens again but I was able to get through it. I make it to the mall and when I get inside, I am just on edge. I don't know if anybody noticed, but I felt jittery and was pretty out of it. I think I spent less than 20 minutes there, because I left not too long after the arriving, barely making it halfway through the mall.
I thought it was a one day thing. Then it became a week long thing. I thought it was going to go away by waiting it out. I had stomach aches ad developed difficulty eating again, possible reflux issues, so I got some tums and prisolec, and they seemed to barely help. So after a grueling month+ of waiting to see if it would go away, I went to my doctor (who wasn't the doctor I was familiar with at the time). I told them about the shortness of breath and chest discomfort and pain I had while driving as well as my short anxiety disorder history. I given the meds I took the year before (buspirone) and told to try them for a couple of weeks. They weren't helping but I didn't want to start the rabbit hole of constantly going to the doctor's again, so I tried to wait it out again but it just got worse. It was getting more difficult to eat again due to swallowing issues and chest pain, so I loss a bit of my appetite and loss weight. One night the room I slept in felt warmer than usual even though the temperature was in the same range as always. I was scared to go to sleep due to my symptos and everything abot my body felt off. My mom found me in the kitchen just tired of the pain I've been going through and called my dad again.
The morning after, my dad is driving me to the ER as I'm holding my chest pain pain. I get to the ER, the pain dwindles down a bit. I get a long ekg done and no abnormalties were found. Then I get a chest X-ray, and again, no abnormalties, everything looks fine and dandy. There was no visible source of chest pain, so I was given a script for naproxen and they referred me to a cardiologist about 30 miles away from the hospital. I didn't tell them that I had seen a cardiologist over a year ago. I don't know why but I thought it was pointless. It just felt like deja vu and I had no desire to take it any further.
So now early August and I'm living with my dad again. I force myself to eat even though it hurts and I feel like I get full easily whether I feel that I'm am full or not. Still have the same symptoms as before but I'm feeling a much better than the days leading towards my trip to the ER. I left the 20th of August as staying there in the long run wasn't in everybody's best interest. So I've been home since then. Although I was feeling better the first few days home, I feel like it's deja vu all over again, but with a twist. My swallowing difficulties feel like a non anxiety symptom. In the mornings, I can eat pretty fine, although nowhere close to as I normally could earlier this year. It gets worst as the day goes on, and after a certain period, just stop bothering. I feel like I'm going to choke on my food everything day. I feel like I'll choke and die right there. From my throat to my chest. I feel like I'll get food stuck in my windpipe. And if not in my windpipe, I feel like I'l get food stuck in my esophagus. It's the same as before with the chest discomfort, pressure, tightness, pain as well as tightness and pain in the back. Sometime I get pressure in my head where it feels like a tight band is around it. Then there's pressure on my the right side of my head. Maybe even some temple pressure every now and then with a little pain. The head stuff happens regardless of whether I'm eating. I mostly notice it happening when I orgasm.
I'm so sorry for making this such a long and difficult read. What I initially meant to ask was if a 22 year old guy with no known family history of diseases related to the heart, stomach, lungs, etc. should be scared of such things after having several ekgs and x-rays, an echocardiogram, stress test, and endoscopy within the span of nearly two year. On paper, I think I should, but physically, whether what's wrong with me is anxiety related or not related to the aforementioned fears, I don't feel well. I haven't felt well for months now. The last two times I felt like this, it lasted 2 and a half months at most. Maybe my memory is not right, but it feels worst than before now, and I'm afraid of it lasting longer than the last time. And like the last time, I'm afraid of it not being just anxiety. I've been out of school and jobless since September 2016 due to financial issues and now this. I made an effort to get out the time I've better, but now get so afraid to leave the house. To make the drives longer than the nearby city and towns. I want to work and hopefully get back into school, but I know that there's no way I'll be able to do so in the mental and physical state I'm in.
Thank you for taking the time to read just a bit of this. It's a mess and I accidentally published this before I could even finish.
Also, if you want to know anymore of the symptoms I'm have at the moment, just ask, and I'll post them. I'm afraid I'l make this post too long if I do so now.
I had the echocardiogram and stress test nearly two years ago in November 2016. My panic attacks started the month prior (plus a respiratory infection which I think triggered my anxiety to the max). Not too long after I had those tests, I felt much better than the month before. I could eat well. I could breathe well. I could talk well. I thought things were going to back to normal.
Fast forward to early March and I start having panic attacks and trouble eating again. I breakdown and go live with my dad for the next couple of months. I get referred to a gastroenterologist by my PCP and have a endoscopy I think around early to mid May. They find nothing and say everything was in good shape, but I was referred to genealogy for Marfan's because I could do the wrist thing (I have small wrists and some pretty long fingers I guess).
Way before I could ever have that appointment though, I get into a car accident. I had a concussion so I forgot how I happened but I was apparently in fault (which I find hard to believe but I guess shit happens). Doctor's said everything looked fine and that I don't have to follow up with a specialist. I'm lucky to be alive. So I go back home to my mom's place to recover from the concussion, which wasn't so bad. After a few weeks, my previous symptoms were going away, and I just happened to be fine. No panic attacks, no godawful symptoms. I could eat and drink with vigor and did what I normally did before all of this crap happened.
I see the genealogist the gastro referred me to just to be safe and he said that I don't have Marfan's due to not meeting the minimal requirements of possibly having it. Even before I got that news, I was feeling really well and normal, but hearing that made really happy.
I'd say from June of last year to mid June of this year, I felt great. I was doing the things I fear to do or feel physically incapable of doing now: drives that were a few miles long to 30+ miles long, aimless night drives, going to the theater multiple times a month (thank you MoviePass), eating at restaurants, eating at home, eating a good amount of food with no problem in general, long walks, being in public, singing and dancing, etc.
The one thing I wish I got to do was see the friends I made in college more. The last time I saw them in person was at Halloween party/bar crawl, and it was the first time I'd seen most of them all together in more than a year. A few of them were concerned for me and texted me and told me to tell them about this sort of stuff because they cared and missed me. I said I would but since that summer, I didn't really talk to them much about it. I went from sparingly talking to them, to not really communicating at all. I now only see them on Instagram and Snapchat. It's almost been a year since I've seen in person again. The text I got from any of them was a birthday text. I know that they don't secretly hate me. At least that's what I think. But I've always felt like I'd be a nuisance to people by contacting them (this goes way beyond friends) to say hello. Then I start to think I'm a bad friend for not communicating with them and trying to initiate conversations with them more. So it becomes a loop of me periodically feeling urge to talk to somebody but not doing so out of fear of rejection. I realize this topic, although related in a sense, is a whole 'nother conversation that will only make this post longer.
So to cut to the chase, I had what I believe was my first huge panic attack in over a year. It was on the weekend, sometime in the middle of June of this year, I was on a pretty regular trip to a mall around 14 miles away from my home. I noticed that my breathing felt like it was getting shallow about half way there and not to long after that, I go into full panic mode. I hadn't had an attack in such a long time so it felt like I was going to have a heart attack, a fear of most health anxiety sufferers I'm sure. I was afraid of having one on the road so I entered a neighborhood so I can park and get off the car to get some air correctly gauge the situation. After 10 or so minutes, I realized it was just a panic attack, despite it feeling more sinister. I get in the car and continue my trip to the mall. The attack happens again but I was able to get through it. I make it to the mall and when I get inside, I am just on edge. I don't know if anybody noticed, but I felt jittery and was pretty out of it. I think I spent less than 20 minutes there, because I left not too long after the arriving, barely making it halfway through the mall.
I thought it was a one day thing. Then it became a week long thing. I thought it was going to go away by waiting it out. I had stomach aches ad developed difficulty eating again, possible reflux issues, so I got some tums and prisolec, and they seemed to barely help. So after a grueling month+ of waiting to see if it would go away, I went to my doctor (who wasn't the doctor I was familiar with at the time). I told them about the shortness of breath and chest discomfort and pain I had while driving as well as my short anxiety disorder history. I given the meds I took the year before (buspirone) and told to try them for a couple of weeks. They weren't helping but I didn't want to start the rabbit hole of constantly going to the doctor's again, so I tried to wait it out again but it just got worse. It was getting more difficult to eat again due to swallowing issues and chest pain, so I loss a bit of my appetite and loss weight. One night the room I slept in felt warmer than usual even though the temperature was in the same range as always. I was scared to go to sleep due to my symptos and everything abot my body felt off. My mom found me in the kitchen just tired of the pain I've been going through and called my dad again.
The morning after, my dad is driving me to the ER as I'm holding my chest pain pain. I get to the ER, the pain dwindles down a bit. I get a long ekg done and no abnormalties were found. Then I get a chest X-ray, and again, no abnormalties, everything looks fine and dandy. There was no visible source of chest pain, so I was given a script for naproxen and they referred me to a cardiologist about 30 miles away from the hospital. I didn't tell them that I had seen a cardiologist over a year ago. I don't know why but I thought it was pointless. It just felt like deja vu and I had no desire to take it any further.
So now early August and I'm living with my dad again. I force myself to eat even though it hurts and I feel like I get full easily whether I feel that I'm am full or not. Still have the same symptoms as before but I'm feeling a much better than the days leading towards my trip to the ER. I left the 20th of August as staying there in the long run wasn't in everybody's best interest. So I've been home since then. Although I was feeling better the first few days home, I feel like it's deja vu all over again, but with a twist. My swallowing difficulties feel like a non anxiety symptom. In the mornings, I can eat pretty fine, although nowhere close to as I normally could earlier this year. It gets worst as the day goes on, and after a certain period, just stop bothering. I feel like I'm going to choke on my food everything day. I feel like I'll choke and die right there. From my throat to my chest. I feel like I'll get food stuck in my windpipe. And if not in my windpipe, I feel like I'l get food stuck in my esophagus. It's the same as before with the chest discomfort, pressure, tightness, pain as well as tightness and pain in the back. Sometime I get pressure in my head where it feels like a tight band is around it. Then there's pressure on my the right side of my head. Maybe even some temple pressure every now and then with a little pain. The head stuff happens regardless of whether I'm eating. I mostly notice it happening when I orgasm.
I'm so sorry for making this such a long and difficult read. What I initially meant to ask was if a 22 year old guy with no known family history of diseases related to the heart, stomach, lungs, etc. should be scared of such things after having several ekgs and x-rays, an echocardiogram, stress test, and endoscopy within the span of nearly two year. On paper, I think I should, but physically, whether what's wrong with me is anxiety related or not related to the aforementioned fears, I don't feel well. I haven't felt well for months now. The last two times I felt like this, it lasted 2 and a half months at most. Maybe my memory is not right, but it feels worst than before now, and I'm afraid of it lasting longer than the last time. And like the last time, I'm afraid of it not being just anxiety. I've been out of school and jobless since September 2016 due to financial issues and now this. I made an effort to get out the time I've better, but now get so afraid to leave the house. To make the drives longer than the nearby city and towns. I want to work and hopefully get back into school, but I know that there's no way I'll be able to do so in the mental and physical state I'm in.
Thank you for taking the time to read just a bit of this. It's a mess and I accidentally published this before I could even finish.
Also, if you want to know anymore of the symptoms I'm have at the moment, just ask, and I'll post them. I'm afraid I'l make this post too long if I do so now.