The Dragon is back

[AnxietyMrs]

Hi all! Its been so long since I have been here and I really thought I was done for good. My anxiety has been great and I've felt so free!

So back to why I'm here. About 2 months ago, my dad had what looked like a blood blister on his foot. He had it removed and biopsied. Stage 2 Melanoma. After further testing, the Melanoma has spread to the lymphnodes in his groin. Making it now stage 3A. He has a CT Scan Wednesday to see if it has spread further. Which would change his staging as well as his treatment plan.

And me? I just feel sick. I feel guilty finding happiness in anything when my dad is facing such daunting demons. And of course, given my background in anxiety, I'm looking at the worst possible scenario. All I keep thinking is how I would possibly live in a world without my dad in it.

I'm not really looking for advice. Frankly, I'm not sure what I'm looking for. I guess I just wanted to vent to people who get me. And maybe someone out there can relate.

Hope you all are getting along fine 😊

[lucymarie]

Hello AM.

I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope you are both dealing as well as could be expected given the situation :sad: and I really hope the CT scan goes well for you both.

Please don't feel guilty being happy - trust me, your Dad wouldn't want it any other way. He loves you and won't want to see you suffer. Plus you need to look out for yourself so you can be strong for both of you as no doubt your Dad will need it at times.

I lost my Dad to cancer a few years ago so I know how scary it is thinking you may lose them. What I will say is this - don't focus on the what if's right now. I know it is so hard, but as of now your Dad is here and ready to fight. Worrying about what may or may not be won't change anything, it will just make things harder for you both and ruin your precious time together. Melanoma treatments have advanced so much over the past few years and there are many individuals who have had what are considered terminal diagnoses and have remained NED many years after treatment. There is alot of information out there but if you feel the need to google try and stick to trusted Melanoma platforms and avoid the forums if you can help it as they are largely full of horror stories and that's not what you need right now. Of course if you feel strong enough to handle it, you may get alot of helpful support there too if and when you feel you need it.

Big hugs to you both, I'm always here if you need a chat, Lucy x