View Full Version : Inter-cranial Hypertension? Freaking out massively
JoshuaMichael
31-05-18, 17:36
No one I've asked has actually given me an opinion, just lectured me on controlling anxiety. I'm Josh, 15, and have had severe anxiety and hypochondria for a while. Something has happened and I think it could be serious.
So, floaters. As we all know, they can be seen easily when looking at the sky, and especially if it is cloudy. Well, I've been very paranoid about them and worried about a retinal tear. (Saw a specialist last week who looked inside my eye, with a dilated exam on Saturday). Still scared of a tear because there's a lot of them.
For the sake of monitoring and discovering truly whether they are rapidly increasing, the last few days I've been checking them, many times in the day. Sometimes, by looking at the cloudy sky. I've been aware of some danger, so I've made an effort to look at the sky where I know the sun won't be (Though I'm unsure on a couple occasions). Co-incidentally, my right eye is ever so lightly off focus today, and I'm very afraid I've burnt my retina from looking at the sky to much. Every time I looked I squinted very hard because you see floaters better doing that, any most of the times (nearly all), I was behind a window which meant it didn't hurt to look.
But now I'm just scared. This is the 10th time or so I've been worried about retina damage but this time I'm extra concerned after researching that looking at the sky on a cloudy day isn't good.
I need honest opinions. Be straight with me. What do you think.
Thanks.
I'll reply but it will be my last as you deleted your previous thread with several replies and honest opinions which is disrespectful IMO.
My honest opinion is that you have severe anxiety and are hyper-focusing on a normal bodily function (your sight). If looking at a cloudy sky or catching a one second glimpse of the sun were dangerous, the human race would be practically blind :shades:
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
Josh I have to agree, deleting your previous post is disrespectful to those who answered you.
Are they deleted posts, or a whole deleted username and a new username? (because this is the first post)
So, what did the specialist say to you? The outcome of that consultation is missing from the post you've made.
JoshuaMichael
31-05-18, 18:01
Josh I have to agree, deleting your previous post is disrespectful to those who answered you.
Elen,
I do not agree. If you met me you'd know I have a lot of respect for those around me, and I hold good morals. When you're suffering in the way I am, all I'm thinking about is getting my question answered so I can get through the day.
Secondly, it is not disrespectful because actually, almost all those that did respond to me either lectured me on my condition, or gave me a completely irrelevant response to the question. So, as a counter-argument I have to say, is is not disrespectful to message irrelevant posts on someone's thread?
Thirdly, I thanked those that responded. Not that changes whether or not you view it to be a disrespectful move, but I did - because I'm a respectful individual.
Fourth, I recommend you remove the option to delete a thread if you truly believe that removing off-topic replies is disrespectful.
Last. I came here because I've lost a lot of reasoning through hypochondria. Unable to rationalise. When I get all these replies that aren't even related, it's unbearable. I'm surprised you have accused me of showing disrespect under these circumstances.
Regards,
Josh
---------- Post added at 18:01 ---------- Previous post was at 17:59 ----------
Are they deleted posts, or a whole deleted username and a new username? (because this is the first post)
So, what did the specialist say to you? The outcome of that consultation is missing from the post you've made.
Again, this cloud looking incident happened yesterday so the consultation is irrelevant. No this is not a new account.
I need honest opinions. Be straight with me. What do you think.
Thanks.
Have you considered visiting an ophthalmologist? I think it is the right thing to do.
If he gives you all clear (and I am convinced that he will), please start listening to good advice here and start treating your health anxiety.
If he tells you you have a problem, treat it. However, treat anxiety nevertheless, because you will fix your health easier without anxiety than with it.
Its not irrelevant what the consultant said, as you've said this is the 10th time you have been concerned about retinal damage...so presumably that is why you went there last time, to have that checked?
Deleting peoples' posts is disrespectful. I've had it happen to me a number of times, many times on here actually. It always bothers me, as I've put effort into a reply and then someone bins it. You ask for replies on a public forum and you will get some that you don't like, some you do...thats the way it goes.
Secondly, it is not disrespectful because actually, almost all those that did respond to me either lectured me on my condition, or gave me a completely irrelevant response to the question. So, as a counter-argument I have to say, is is not disrespectful to message irrelevant posts on someone's thread?
I didn't see the thread but it is only your opinion, in your current HA state that the posts were 'lecturing' or 'irrelevant'. The people who posted the replies didn't think them irrelevant. I suspect that they challenged your HA and attitude to your eyesight, hence why you didn't like them.
So, you asked for an honest opinion; if you were looking into the sky on a cloudy day and you were squinting and it didn't hurt, then there is nothing that you could do to damage your eyes AT ALL. I stare into the sky watching birds on days such as this! You are indeed being hypochondriacal, just as you presumably were the other 10 times you thought you'd damaged your eyes. As for floaters, I had them at your age. The more you look for them, the more you see them. If you ignore them the brain filters them out and you stop seeing them.
So, what did the specialist say about your floaters (after doing a full eye exam and dilation?)
If I may chime in here Josh actually that statement you made that no one hasn't said if it was dangerous or not to look in to the sky on a cloudy day is totally incorrect I said twice it's not dangerous etc and floaters are normal and then because some replies you didn't like you deleted the whole thread. Members on here who have been here for years like FMP know what they are talking about, as do others. Respectfully do your parents know of your health concerns? ATB
---------- Post added at 21:20 ---------- Previous post was at 21:15 ----------
Its not irrelevant what the consultant said, as you've said this is the 10th time you have been concerned about retinal damage...so presumably that is why you went there last time, to have that checked?
Deleting peoples' posts is disrespectful. I've had it happen to me a number of times, many times on here actually. It always bothers me, as I've put effort into a reply and then someone bins it. You ask for replies on a public forum and you will get some that you don't like, some you do...thats the way it goes.
I didn't see the thread but it is only your opinion, in your current HA state that the posts were 'lecturing' or 'irrelevant'. The people who posted the replies didn't think them irrelevant. I suspect that they challenged your HA and attitude to your eyesight, hence why you didn't like them.
So, you asked for an honest opinion; if you were looking into the sky on a cloudy day and you were squinting and it didn't hurt, then there is nothing that you could do to damage your eyes AT ALL. I stare into the sky watching birds on days such as this! You are indeed being hypochondriacal, just as you presumably were the other 10 times you thought you'd damaged your eyes. As for floaters, I had them at your age. The more you look for them, the more you see them. If you ignore them the brain filters them out and you stop seeing them.
So, what did the specialist say about your floaters (after doing a full eye exam and dilation?) Cary's the dilation is on sat according to his opening post. ATB
Oh I read it as last Saturday, but it might be this coming Saturday I suppose ?!
Oh I read it as last Saturday, but it might be this coming Saturday I suppose ?! Np could be either really, hopefully we will get answer on this! ATB
MyNameIsTerry
01-06-18, 01:42
Are they deleted posts, or a whole deleted username and a new username? (because this is the first post)
So, what did the specialist say to you? The outcome of that consultation is missing from the post you've made.
When you delete a thread it removes all the posts in it which reduces your post count.
I agree with everyone else on here. And to be fair to Admin OP, the function is there for useful reasons that would make Admin's job harder in deleting unwanted threads so I suggest you rethink trying to apportion blame to them. It tends to be better to leave threads live as people are giving their time when often struggling themselves and this may turn people off. After I see it happen a couple of times with a member I stop posting.
They advise not to look directly at the sun but I wasn't aware of looking at clouds, something that you just can't do in the UK unless you walk with your head down or never look higher than straight ahead (when on a flatter surface). Not knowing about it in a country where we look up at clouds in the millions many times a year makes it questionable when it's comes to the prevalence of such a problem.
A specialist has looked and not seen a tear. What evidence do you have to suggest otherwise? Just a worry or feeling? Anxiety thrives on that.
Checking will only make it worse, it's compulsive reaction to obsession. It may feel it helps initially but it's temporary in nature, feeds the importance to have the obsession, and can became so bad you get nothing from it or it makes you feel even worse.
Are your parents aware of your anxiety? What help have you had from the NHS or private services with your anxiety?
When you delete a thread it removes all the posts in it which reduces your post count.
Ah ok, thanks.
Annaboodle
01-06-18, 10:37
I read the entire thread the last time the OP posted. I didn't reply as there was nothing I felt I could add that would be helpful to the OP. There was nothing disrespectful or irrelevant. No one was lecturing - helpful advice re. dealing with a bad spiral of health anxiety was given. Many posters told the OP repeatedly that the situation they described was not dangerous for their eyes, so OP you did get offered reassurance. That reassurance hasn't worked so you're back again. It never works. The OP just doesn't want anyone to refer to their anxiety at all, which begs the question, why post on a health anxiety board?
Actually, this is why I'm confused....I'm sure I made multiple replies on an eye thread. Are you the same person who was worried about light that reflected off a window and your Dad's fork? Also, it was the left eye that was the problem, then the right eye? I can recall the whole thread and discussion, and have looked back in my history and can't find those posts I made.
Why do you need to look at the sky? Just look at a white wall and you’ll be able to see your floaters. For what it’s worth: if you had a retinal tear your doctor would have treated it as an emergency not sent you home to stare at the sun. Also, I know someone who had a floater that required further investigation. He is in his 60s and described it to me as a huge black spot that passed slowly across his vision. It turned out to be just another floater.
Actually, this is why I'm confused....I'm sure I made multiple replies on an eye thread. Are you the same person who was worried about light that reflected off a window and your Dad's fork? Also, it was the left eye that was the problem, then the right eye? I can recall the whole thread and discussion, and have looked back in my history and can't find those posts I made. Hi Cary's no need to be confused I remember commenting on the same thread that then was deleted. ATB
MyNameIsTerry
01-06-18, 11:29
Actually, this is why I'm confused....I'm sure I made multiple replies on an eye thread. Are you the same person who was worried about light that reflected off a window and your Dad's fork? Also, it was the left eye that was the problem, then the right eye? I can recall the whole thread and discussion, and have looked back in my history and can't find those posts I made.
When the thread was deleted it also removes it from your post history just like your post count. Admin can always undelete a thread though, like all things missing it's down the back of the :sofa: or behind the fridge. :biggrin:
When the thread was deleted it also removes it from your post history just like your post count. Admin can always undelete a thread though, like all things missing it's down the back of the :sofa: or behind the fridge. :biggrin: I didn't know that Terry so say 6 people had replied to a thread their post count will go down too! ATB
MyNameIsTerry
01-06-18, 12:04
I didn't know that Terry so say 6 people had replied to a thread their post count will go down too! ATB
Yep, you lose them.
More annoying for me in the past has been when I'm typing a lengthy reply and the OP deletes the thread before I post it so the invalid thread message pops up and you think the forum is playing up.
Yep, you lose them.
More annoying for me in the past has been when I'm typing a lengthy reply and the OP deletes the thread before I post it so the invalid thread message pops up and you think the forum is playing up. Thx Terry yes had that pop up too, really annoying when that happens, what would be good if a OP could undo a thread they deleted as it's still on the system even though its not displayed. Now there's a though ;) ATB
Hi
Just to say, after a traumatic event in my life - I had a major increase in floaters and was referred to the eye hospital.
My eyes were dilated and checked thoroughly.
I was told that stress can increase them, which was the case.
x
JoshuaMichael
01-06-18, 20:00
Hello. I apologise for deleting the thread. I realise now that it was a disrespectful move. I apologise to those that took the time to respond to me, and I did not mean to be disrespectful. It was a case that I personally did not find the responses helpful, but I understand that is not an excuse to just get rid of them.
To clear this up, I had a ophthalmologist appointment last Saturday, who checked my eyes non dilated. I'm going back this Saturday to have them dilated.
My parents are aware of everything. I've had counselling but those sessions have finished and a CAMHS referral is supposed to be coming soon. (I'm finding it hard not having counselling anymore.
The whole, looking up at the clouds constantly thing has been occurring after this initial appointment. The vision acuity still isn't right in the right eye, which is the eye I was checking the most (with the left eye closed), so this is why I'm particularly alarmed. I'm pleased to know that many of our windows are UV protected to an extent, and I was behind a window for the majority of the sky glancing sessions. A couple times I was outside. I of course, still worry that the UV breaking through the clouds has damaged my eye. I will find out tomorrow though. Simultaneously I've seen a bad increase in my tinnitus (reactive tinnitus) since my dog started going crazy a couple days ago, so that's also on my mind. Just, everything I'm seeing online suggests looking at the sky on a cloudy day, especially constantly, is very bad. I'm nervous about tomorrow's examination because I'm still confident I did something bad to my eye.
I will let you all know of the results (if I can see at all because I know the dilation test makes things blurry for a while). So, what are your predictions about tomorrow?
---------- Post added at 20:00 ---------- Previous post was at 19:46 ----------
Further context: The slight decrease in acuity comes on the same day that I look at the clouds several times in that day. My mind only goes one way.
Hello. I apologise for deleting the thread. I realise now that it was a disrespectful move. I apologise to those that took the time to respond to me, and I did not mean to be disrespectful. It was a case that I personally did not find the responses helpful, but I understand that is not an excuse to just get rid of them.
To clear this up, I had a ophthalmologist appointment last Saturday, who checked my eyes non dilated. I'm going back this Saturday to have them dilated.
My parents are aware of everything. I've had counselling but those sessions have finished and a CAMHS referral is supposed to be coming soon. (I'm finding it hard not having counselling anymore.
The whole, looking up at the clouds constantly thing has been occurring after this initial appointment. The vision acuity still isn't right in the right eye, which is the eye I was checking the most (with the left eye closed), so this is why I'm particularly alarmed. I'm pleased to know that many of our windows are UV protected to an extent, and I was behind a window for the majority of the sky glancing sessions. A couple times I was outside. I of course, still worry that the UV breaking through the clouds has damaged my eye. I will find out tomorrow though. Simultaneously I've seen a bad increase in my tinnitus (reactive tinnitus) since my dog started going crazy a couple days ago, so that's also on my mind. Just, everything I'm seeing online suggests looking at the sky on a cloudy day, especially constantly, is very bad. I'm nervous about tomorrow's examination because I'm still confident I did something bad to my eye.
I will let you all know of the results (if I can see at all because I know the dilation test makes things blurry for a while). So, what are your predictions about tomorrow? Total respect to you for coming back and apologising on a public forum that takes some courage to do this so for me (and hopefully others) There isn't a problem:shades: Right down to your dilation exam tomorrow personally you will be fine Iam confident on this, you are confident that it wont be but respectfully will say this, it is your HA and searching on line that's brought you to that conclusion. As for your tinnitus getting worse because of your dog going crazy I don't follow is it barking more? Like I said on the thread that you deleted I have it very bad sometimes there's not a lot you can do about this A.F.A.I.K but its not life threatning or anything like that just dman annoying so try not to focus on that:yesyes:Good luck for tomorrow and be prepared for the told ya so gang that you will be fine. ATB
MyNameIsTerry
02-06-18, 02:45
Good to know you are on the waiting list. Your parents just need to keep pushing for that with your doctor.
Don't worry about the frustration issues, you've apologised for it and we all know how anxiety can make us feel agitated & snap at people. Being able to see things more clearly when less emotional and being able to apologise where needed shows you are respectful.
JoshuaMichael
02-06-18, 08:40
Ok folks. Woken up this morning and full visual acuity still has not returned in the right eye. More worried now. I'll have answers by the end of today though.
Apology fully accepted.
Good luck today - let us know how it goes :D
Yes same from me you will be fine :) ATB
nomorepanic
02-06-18, 14:22
I can undelete the post if you want me to
JoshuaMichael
02-06-18, 15:36
Hi all.
Dilated eye exam done, and nothing bad found! Phew. Relief. Of course, this does leave the whole right eye being slightly off focus thing a bit of a mystery. I'm thinking I might have strained it from the constant squinting to see my floaters better. Who knows, but nothing bad found in the exam so that's good I suppose! Does anyone know if lots of squinting can cause eye strain? Can eye strain last a while? It started on Wednesday.
Hi all.
Dilated eye exam done, and nothing bad found! Phew. Relief. Of course, this does leave the whole right eye being slightly off focus thing a bit of a mystery. I'm thinking I might have strained it from the constant squinting to see my floaters better. Who knows, but nothing bad found in the exam so that's good I suppose! Does anyone know if lots of squinting can cause eye strain? Can eye strain last a while? It started on Wednesday. Hi Joshua well here we go from the told ya so gang we knew everything was going to be fine:yesyes: Yes it can on all counts. So no more looking for floaters and no lecture apart from now take steps to sort your HA condition as now this worry is over another will fill the gap not some thing I would want to go through again and again, you are a smart guy so make the right move :)Come on peeps he has come back and apologised to everyone who posted on his thread :) ATVB
MyNameIsTerry
03-06-18, 02:59
Well that sounds possible. Any headaches? They often come with eye strain.
Work on your beliefs about this now and don't allow anxiety to spiral.
JoshuaMichael
03-06-18, 15:06
This is tricky. I still can't shake the floater anxiety, and even today I accidentally saw more of them, so there I go again, checking them by squinting and looking up, (though thankfully there are no clouds and I'm behind a window the sky is not as bright). The reason it's difficult because whenever I obsessively squint to check the floaters, the strain worsens a bit. So, whilst panicking about one thing the other thing isn't going to improve. Hmm.
This is tricky. I still can't shake the floater anxiety, and even today I accidentally saw more of them, so there I go again, checking them by squinting and looking up, (though thankfully there are no clouds and I'm behind a window the sky is not as bright). The reason it's difficult because whenever I obsessively squint to check the floaters, the strain worsens a bit. So, whilst panicking about one thing the other thing isn't going to improve. Hmm.Why is it tricky well the reason is clear sorry but your problem(s) wont improve until you deal with the source of the problem (which now you know isn't your eyes as you have had the all clear) I cant empathise enough it's clearly your HA dragon at work here. so respectfully what are you going to do about your HA?? ATB
JoshuaMichael
03-06-18, 16:53
Why is it tricky well the reason is clear sorry but your problem(s) wont improve until you deal with the source of the problem (which now you know isn't your eyes as you have had the all clear) I cant empathise enough it's clearly your HA dragon at work here. so respectfully what are you going to do about your HA?? ATB
I've tried a lot really. My reactive tinnitus by the way, it seems to get really loud when I'm anxious, no idea what that is all about. It doesn't matter how hard I try to break the cycle, I always end up slipping back in. Like today, I was comparing left eye to right eye on trees outside, which gave me an afterimage of the blue sky that took an hour to subside (I think some of it might even still be there). This lead to me looking it up, finding all these scary things as to why it's happening... and there I am, back in the cycle.
It's going to take some work. I have a whiteboard and I've drawn the cycle out, identifying each key stage. Then, when something is happening I identify where I am on the cycle, and try to stop it in it's tracks.
New Symptoms > Curiosity and Fear over symptoms > This can lead to new problems (looking at trees to compare vision creates afterimage)Research online > Finds Info online that says bad things > More panic > Symptoms usually subside > New Symptoms etc.
So, at least now I've mapped out my personal cycle - a first step. Right now I'm on the "Curiosity and Fear over symptoms (the loud tinnitus, afterimage, and right eye being slightly off), and I foolishly stepped into the "Research Online" stage, which just created more anxiety. I'm going to work at it.
I've tried a lot really. My reactive tinnitus by the way, it seems to get really loud when I'm anxious, no idea what that is all about. It doesn't matter how hard I try to break the cycle, I always end up slipping back in. Like today, I was comparing left eye to right eye on trees outside, which gave me an afterimage of the blue sky that took an hour to subside (I think some of it might even still be there). This lead to me looking it up, finding all these scary things as to why it's happening... and there I am, back in the cycle.
It's going to take some work. I have a whiteboard and I've drawn the cycle out, identifying each key stage. Then, when something is happening I identify where I am on the cycle, and try to stop it in it's tracks.
New Symptoms > Curiosity and Fear over symptoms > This can lead to new problems (looking at trees to compare vision creates afterimage)Research online > Finds Info online that says bad things > More panic > Symptoms usually subside > New Symptoms etc.
So, at least now I've mapped out my personal cycle - a first step. Right now I'm on the "Curiosity and Fear over symptoms (the loud tinnitus, afterimage, and right eye being slightly off), and I foolishly stepped into the "Research Online" stage, which just created more anxiety. I'm going to work at it. Hi Joshua well it's good start glad you are taking steps to get to the bottom of this:shades: And that's the thing the more anxious you get the symptoms get worse. Re comparing your eyes against a tree etc and then researching on line ( then researching on line doesn't break the cycle and only fuels it even more making you more anxious than ever follow?) What you need to be doing is researching Health Anxiety and coping stratergies etc. But well done for starting to get better Goodl luck and any further questions please don't hesitate to ask ATVB
Hufflestuff3
03-06-18, 23:49
Hi Josh I have suffered from anxiety and panic disorder since I was 14, it can be very stressful especially at such a young age even now at 24 I struggle to calm myself, my right eye also blurs or just feels strange and off in vision quality which is usually due to stress\anxiety and lack of sleep as scary as they can be floaters are totally normal I get squiggly lines sometimes in light and usually see what looks like sparkles racing around my vision even at night or with my eyes closed, another cause of this could be mild tension headaches (totally normal not harmful) due to your high stress and anxiety causing strain on your eyes try to find something to preoccupy your mind like conversation, reading, or video games always helped me cause sitting around thinking about it looking for floaters will only exacerbate your anxiety.
HopeI'mWrong:P
04-06-18, 00:39
I've seen these since I was a child - mainly when looking at the sky, or at something bright. I used to find them amusing and I've never worried about them, but I suspect that if I Googled it right now, I'd go to bed worrying about them. Not because there's anything to fear; I first remember noticing them 15 or so years ago and still do, yet in my last 3 eye tests I was told I have almost perfect vision. I think I'd worry because the internet will always give you a reason to worry. About anything. Seriously.
I get it though. I find myself obsessing over symptoms that actually aren't symptoms of anything. They're normal sensations/ movements/ whatever I'm obsessing over at that moment. I've suffered with HA (weird acronym for something so unfunny, but I suppose they say laughter is the best medicine... I'll see myself out) since I was a child - before I had access to the internet. My health anxiety is definitely worse now and I believe that it's largely down to the internet (and I do get the irony of posting that statement on an internet forum). I'm not a doctor, but when I Google my symptoms, I believe I know enough to diagnose myself. It's like I constantly know too much and too little at the same time. It's so unhelpful but also so difficult to stop.
Anyway, that's just my experience. Hope it helps. Take care!
MyNameIsTerry
04-06-18, 02:13
I've tried a lot really. My reactive tinnitus by the way, it seems to get really loud when I'm anxious, no idea what that is all about. It doesn't matter how hard I try to break the cycle, I always end up slipping back in. Like today, I was comparing left eye to right eye on trees outside, which gave me an afterimage of the blue sky that took an hour to subside (I think some of it might even still be there). This lead to me looking it up, finding all these scary things as to why it's happening... and there I am, back in the cycle.
It's going to take some work. I have a whiteboard and I've drawn the cycle out, identifying each key stage. Then, when something is happening I identify where I am on the cycle, and try to stop it in it's tracks.
New Symptoms > Curiosity and Fear over symptoms > This can lead to new problems (looking at trees to compare vision creates afterimage)Research online > Finds Info online that says bad things > More panic > Symptoms usually subside > New Symptoms etc.
So, at least now I've mapped out my personal cycle - a first step. Right now I'm on the "Curiosity and Fear over symptoms (the loud tinnitus, afterimage, and right eye being slightly off), and I foolishly stepped into the "Research Online" stage, which just created more anxiety. I'm going to work at it.
Yes, that's a good first step. Now you have a visual representation of how your cycle is manifesting.
So, in between the "this can lead to new problems" and "more panic" what strategies can you employ to change the 3 negative reinforcers of the cycle?
So How you been getting on Josh? ATB
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 14:50
Hello all. I've used this website before, but I've come back as a last resort because I am very panicked. Please read carefully.
Back in late February/early March, one of my many health anxiety's were blind spots and such. I had recently noticed a blind spot, which turned out to be the normal blind-spot that we all have (phew!). I am very observant and inquisitive
when it comes to health, noticing things that few people ever do - the normal blind spot was one of them. As I was obsessively searching around, closing each eye, worried about blind spots, I noticed something by complete chance - and I never would've seen this I don't think:
On the upper half of the vertical mid-line, in my left eye, I realised... Objects that fall within that mid-line are less there. Less visible. Less able to process. I let it go a few days later as another health concern replaced it and I forgot about. I remembered it and checked a month later, noticed again. Now, 5 months later, it's again become the obsession. I am so confident that I have a visual field defect on the vertical mid line (and I think it's slightly to the left of the mid line, so a temporal defect. The defect area is again, all the way up, but very thin in terms of when the object becomes "less there".
However, just 3 weeks before noticing this, I had an MRI scan (after long suffering muffled right ear hearing with no tests diagnosing an issue, to check for a tumour), of course, all fine. Excluding the rare chance this defect came on during those 3 weeks, that MRI would've seen any lesions, am I right? Just last week we went to the opticians for a normal static field test (where they flash the small dots and you press the button when you see them). I saw all the points! But, none of the points were really close enough to the defect. For another health concern, I even had the same field test about a week before noticing it, BUT, I really don't think that test is capable of finding it. I'm going back to the opticians tomorrow because I want a referral to discover what on earth this is, ideally I want another MRI, this time using that Dye they inject. I'm not lying and this is making me mad. In the left eye, objects falling into that vertical mid-line, and I think slightly to the left of it, appear less able to see (just above my central vision by the way).
I do have hypochondria
I hit the back of my head like 2 years ago
I've actually had two static field tests, 1 just before noticing and 1 last week
This had kind of become my obsession. I'm adamant it's a defect. I have even accidentally come across it when testing each eye during a period of worry over other eye concerns. The biggest fear is that I've had an Ischaemic stroke. I have been increasingly stressed being a hypochondriac, and have suffered depression and anxiety? What if I've had a stroke without knowing?:unsure:
Josh, you're 15! I'm not going to address your fears because its quite apparent it's you hyper-focusing on normal bodily functions and your anxiety is making it something it's not. Have you spoken to your parents about this? Do they know you're posting to strangers on an anxiety forum seeking reassurance for irrational thoughts?
I highly urge you to speak to them and ask for real life professional help. Experience has shown me that no amount of reassurance will help you. Until you can learn to manage your anxiety, its just going to keep nagging away at you.
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 15:24
Josh, you're 15! I'm not going to address your fears because its quite apparent it's your anxiety. Have you spoken to your parents about this? Do they know you're posting to strangers on an anxiety forum seeking reassurance for irrational thoughts?
I highly urge you to speak to them and ask for help. Experience has shown me that no amount of reassurance will help you. Until you can learn to manage your anxiety, they're just going to keep nagging away at you.
Positive thoughts
Hello, yes my parents are fully aware of how my anxiety is and they know how much I'm suffering, they have done a lot to help me. I simply want other opinions. But, I'm 100% confident this is a defect. It drives me insane when people say it's anxiety, because I can literally see how objects half disappear close to, and on, the mid-line. (they never fully disappear but are less there). I think they fact I had an MRI without contrast might be the biggest mistake, what if the no contrast completely missed the lesion causing the defect!? I'm going back to optician tomorrow anyway... not looking good :(
I simply want other opinions. But, I'm 100% confident this is a defect.
Then why even ask? And BTW, my opinion stands...
Experience has shown me that no amount of reassurance (OPINIONS) will help you.
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 16:41
I'm sitting here testing it now. Cover the right eye, and yep, that vertical mid-line is just defected. The object is much less recognisable, the details are missing...
Will definitely be asking for a referral and another MRI; with contrast this time.
---------- Post added at 16:41 ---------- Previous post was at 15:46 ----------
this is a visual field defect folks.
Why on earth are you seeking another MRI? Even if there were something wrong, this CANNOT be brain-related. Any defect that presents in one eye only is anterior to the optic chiasm, ie it's not in the brain, it's in the eye. BUT everyone has slight visual anomalies and imperfections that the brain simply filters out or fills in. You are literally training your brain to turn up the gain and if you're not careful you won't be able to tune out these "symptoms" again. If it were anything serious, it would have shown up on the numerous visual field tests and dilated exams you've had. My bet is you are right-eye dominant, yes? You are also hypervigilant and full of anxiety. Stop the self-testing and running to eye doctors. There is nothing wrong with your vision
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 20:45
Why on earth are you seeking another MRI? Even if there were something wrong, this CANNOT be brain-related. Any defect that presents in one eye only is anterior to the optic chiasm, ie it's not in the brain, it's in the eye. BUT everyone has slight visual anomalies and imperfections that the brain simply filters out or fills in. You are literally training your brain to turn up the gain and if you're not careful you won't be able to tune out these "symptoms" again. If it were anything serious, it would have shown up on the numerous visual field tests and dilated exams you've had. My bet is you are right-eye dominant, yes? You are also hypervigilant and full of anxiety. Stop the self-testing and running to eye doctors. There is nothing wrong with your vision
Anterior to the optic chiasm? Are you aware you need an MRI to see this? Are you also aware that the optic chiasm is literally in the brain? I've done my research only an MRI can see this.
---------- Post added at 18:11 ---------- Previous post was at 18:02 ----------
you realise you've scared me more, because a lesion at the chiasm creates only temporal defects, which include vision loss at the midline, and on the left of it. That's exactly what I have... as I detailed above. The deficit is on the midline and slightly to the left of the mid-line. You've basically confirmed the problem for me.
---------- Post added at 20:45 ---------- Previous post was at 18:11 ----------
Well, to be honest I'm just more worried. Anyone else have an opinion. I'm only 15 how did this happen to me. So I have a damaged Chiasm?
AMomentofClarity
06-07-18, 20:54
Anterior to the optic chiasm? Are you aware you need an MRI to see this? Are you also aware that the optic chiasm is literally in the brain? I've done my research only an MRI can see this.
---------- Post added at 18:11 ---------- Previous post was at 18:02 ----------
you realise you've scared me more, because a lesion at the chiasm creates only temporal defects, which include vision loss at the midline, and on the left of it. That's exactly what I have... as I detailed above. The deficit is on the midline and slightly to the left of the mid-line. You've basically confirmed the problem for me.
---------- Post added at 20:45 ---------- Previous post was at 18:11 ----------
Well, to be honest I'm just more worried. Anyone else have an opinion. I'm only 15 how did this happen to me. So I have a damaged Chiasm?
STOP GOOGLING. You’re just driving yourself crazy with over analyzing and things you know nothing about.
Hello JoshuaMichael,
When I was your age, sixteen years ago, I was obsessed with the slightest visual defects I could encounter.
It was so consuming that it lead me to believe I would go blind within less than a year, and as a consequence I stopped bothering about reading books - which I truly loved doing.
It was a heartbreaking situation.
Sixteen years later, I've read more books than I can remember.
You're not going blind. You're too smart to waste your energy this way. Live your life.
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 23:03
I certainly can't rest until I figure out whether there is a lesion.
---------- Post added at 23:03 ---------- Previous post was at 22:49 ----------
Hello JoshuaMichael,
When I was your age, sixteen years ago, I was obsessed with the slightest visual defects I could encounter.
It was so consuming that it lead me to believe I would go blind within less than a year, and as a consequence I stopped bothering about reading books - which I truly loved doing.
It was a heartbreaking situation.
Sixteen years later, I've read more books than I can remember.
You're not going blind. You're too smart to waste your energy this way. Live your life.
I feel like you are suggesting I do have a lesion/damage somewhere that's causing a legitimate vision problem.
AMomentofClarity
06-07-18, 23:13
Serious question....what are you trying/expecting to get out of this forum. You’re already convinced that you have a “lesion.” Any attempts to reassure you are met with arguments. So why are you here? Is it to convince a bunch of people who don’t know you that you’re dying? To show off all your Google research? What’s the point?
JoshuaMichael
06-07-18, 23:30
Fine. Well I'm mad that I have a visual field defect. The only cause could be a stroke, because there hasn't been a recent injury. I'm gonna end up having an MRI anyway. Hugely depressed at the thought of a permanent defect at my young age. I'm in denial really, trying to get people to tell me this isn't a defect - it definitely is. I know it. Just simply shutting that right eye and seeing how objects in that mid-line are barely there. 5 months since I noticed. Somewhere there is a lesion. It seems like, as someone mentioned earlier, a lesion at the Chiasm, which is causing the defect to be in the left eye only. That's very scary to think about. :/
Fine. Well I'm mad that I have a visual field defect. The only cause could be a stroke, because there hasn't been a recent injury. I'm gonna end up having an MRI anyway. Hugely depressed at the thought of a permanent defect at my young age. I'm in denial really, trying to get people to tell me this isn't a defect - it definitely is. I know it. Just simply shutting that right eye and seeing how objects in that mid-line are barely there. 5 months since I noticed.
Duuuuude!
https://media.giphy.com/media/CURF5iPO5uY4U/giphy.gif
I truly understand that to you, this is very, very real. My daughter suffers from anxiety and I've literally sat there with her trying to calm her when she's having a panic attack. To her, at that moment, her fear was real. To the rest of the world it's...
https://media.giphy.com/media/R8n7YlPHe34dy/giphy.gif
You're 15.... 15! You're on an anxiety website seeking reassurance after being told by medical professionals and scientific medical tests that you're physically fine. You're literally performing some Dr Google self tests to justify your irrational thoughts. I'm just telling you what I see as someone who has experienced this type of anxiety from an outside perspective.
Ask your parents for professional help. You're much too young to be held captive by your illness.
Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
07-07-18, 08:15
Why on earth are you seeking another MRI? Even if there were something wrong, this CANNOT be brain-related. Any defect that presents in one eye only is anterior to the optic chiasm, ie it's not in the brain, it's in the eye. BUT everyone has slight visual anomalies and imperfections that the brain simply filters out or fills in. You are literally training your brain to turn up the gain and if you're not careful you won't be able to tune out these "symptoms" again. If it were anything serious, it would have shown up on the numerous visual field tests and dilated exams you've had. My bet is you are right-eye dominant, yes? You are also hypervigilant and full of anxiety. Stop the self-testing and running to eye doctors. There is nothing wrong with your vision
Please could you explain what you just said about anterior to the optic chiasm. How is an ophthalmologist going to see it during an eye exam?
JoshuaMichael
07-07-18, 14:02
Well as an update:
I just went back to optician, saw an optometrist. Retina photography done and exam where they shine the torch done (even though this had already been done). And, referral letter has been written, since they obviously can't find anything.
This defect is obviously to do with the brain/ the visual pathway behind the eye. I just gotta play the waiting game now because these referrals take a while. Still absolutely confident there is something wrong. I can literally see that there is something wrong. that vertical midline, and maybe slightly to the left of it, in the left eye, is defected. :(
Does anyone know anything about this "anterior to the optic chiasm" business? How could an optometrist rule out a problem there - surely an MRI needs to be done??
Well as an update:
I just went back to optician, saw an optometrist. Retina photography done and exam where they shine the torch done (even though this had already been done). And, referral letter has been written, since they obviously can't find anything......
https://media.giphy.com/media/Wf8lxu79Yv5za/giphy.gif
surely an MRI needs to be done??
https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcq17EmRRoqh0FW/giphy.gif
Let us know how you get on! :)
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
07-07-18, 17:38
https://media.giphy.com/media/Wf8lxu79Yv5za/giphy.gif
https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcq17EmRRoqh0FW/giphy.gif
Let us know how you get on! :)
Positive thoughts
This is not I told you so at all. Of course they didn't find anything, because to do so, an MRI needs to be done. I still don't understand what you said about "Anterior to the optic chiasm". How would an optometrist rule out a problem with the optic chiasm if they can't see it?
---------- Post added at 17:38 ---------- Previous post was at 17:36 ----------
I'm really stressed out now.
This is a visual defect, I just know it. I can quite easily test it myself and I can see it's a defect. Literally. Anything in left eye upper midline, half gone. I feel so stressed right now.
This is perfectly normal, when you are looking with your non-dominant eye only. Your brain is still trying to incorporate the image from your closed dominant eye. It's a KNOWN PHENOMENON. You are just particularly observant, due to your anxiety. Most people don't go around self-testing like this, and remain completely oblivious to numerous eye anomalies, which is AS IT SHOULD BE. Don't borrow trouble. You are 15, go out and enjoy life
It's truly sad to see such a young person so affected. I, along with many here, see as clear as day how the dragon is pulling you deeper and deeper into his cave of doom and gloom. The fact you latched onto one phrase in a reply to justify your irrational fear is a hallmark indication of severe health anxiety and affirms my opinion.
I truly hope you find your way out. Good luck and as always...
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
07-07-18, 22:51
My anxiety truly is out of control. I can't help it.
Even today, they did retina photography, with that big white flash, and after I noticed my right eye vision is slightly off. Now I'm scared it damaged my eye?
(Not sure if that's even possible, these photographs are supposed to be safe?)
---------- Post added at 22:05 ---------- Previous post was at 20:10 ----------
omg im so annoyed its a defect this isn't anxiety. Jeez this is a defect I just know it. I know it. I'm not stupid.[COLOR="blue"]
---------- Post added at 22:51 ---------- Previous post was at 22:05 ----------
JoshuaMichael
08-07-18, 13:37
Oh No...
I just realised something awful.
I was prescribed propranolol for migraine, a matter of weeks before I noticed the defect. A few weeks in to taking it, I was quite inconsistent: My side effects were unpleasant and I irresponsibly didn't take one sometimes, and other times I forgot. I have come off of them without advice from the doctor. I have completely come off of them now; the side effects were terrible and my anxiety was only getting worse even after weeks of taking them. I have to admit I was very inconsistent.
What if the visual field defect could've been causes by my irresponsible inconsistency? I feel so silly - I never thought about this... please help with your opinion.
Can anyone comment on whether my inconsistency and eventual withdrawal from the tablet could've caused this defect??
---------- Post added at 12:48 ---------- Previous post was at 11:38 ----------
This is perfectly normal, when you are looking with your non-dominant eye only. Your brain is still trying to incorporate the image from your closed dominant eye. It's a KNOWN PHENOMENON. You are just particularly observant, due to your anxiety. Most people don't go around self-testing like this, and remain completely oblivious to numerous eye anomalies, which is AS IT SHOULD BE. Don't borrow trouble. You are 15, go out and enjoy life
It should not be happening only in the vertical mid-line. That's NOT NORMAL! Also please see my post about Propranolol and whether that could've been a cause.
---------- Post added at 12:51 ---------- Previous post was at 12:48 ----------
Trust me, it's not normal. If I went around all day with my dominant eye closed, whenever anything falls into that mid-line, it's gonna be half gone, harder to see, harder to process, "less there". It's definitely not normal. In the vertical meridian, this not a known phenomenon. This is a defect.
---------- Post added at 13:37 ---------- Previous post was at 12:51 ----------
I even remember, when I first noticed it, how I would get my finger and move it horizontally across my vision in the upper half of the left eye, and then, as soon as it hits that midline, how it half dissappears. That just ISN'T NORMAL.
JoshuaMichael
09-07-18, 21:43
I'm unsure as to how this crazy stuff keeps happening to me. So I've posted a unread about my eyes before and am currently concerned of a a defect. Now this...
I was looking at some tree for like 8 seconds. The sun, although behind a thin cloud, was in my peripheral (fairly near peripheral). I was testing this defect of course, stretching my eye open with my fingers in anger. I didn't acknowledge the Sun in my periphery.
After those 8 or so seconds, my left eye is now slightly blurry. I'm now worried the Sun light in my peripheral damaged my retina... :( could this have happened? I wasn't even looking at it and it was slightly covered by thin cloud :(
Why me...
JoshuaMichael
09-07-18, 22:32
Has looking at a tree for 8 seconds with the Sun in my near peripheral dine perm dmg. Left Eye slightly blurred.
HullSimplibus
09-07-18, 22:41
Has looking at a tree for 8 seconds with the Sun in my near peripheral dine perm dmg. Left Eye slightly blurred.
I have had this worry lately too, and I know its terrifying. But,
If the sun was damaging people's eyes this quickly, it would be bigger than the World Cup in the media.
To get permanent vision damage from the sun, you would probably need to look directly at the sun.
Don't rely on google. If you are worried, see an optometrist or an opthalmologist. That might be a way to put your mind at rest.
I hope you find a way to cope with this and get better :yesyes:
nomorepanic
09-07-18, 22:44
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
JoshuaMichael
09-07-18, 23:19
I have had this worry lately too, and I know its terrifying. But,
If the sun was damaging people's eyes this quickly, it would be bigger than the World Cup in the media.
To get permanent vision damage from the sun, you would probably need to look directly at the sun.
Don't rely on google. If you are worried, see an optometrist or an opthalmologist. That might be a way to put your mind at rest.
I hope you find a way to cope with this and get better :yesyes:
I'm scared because left eye is a bit off. What are the chances dmg done
nomorepanic
09-07-18, 23:33
zero chance
HullSimplibus
09-07-18, 23:37
I'm scared because left eye is a bit off. What are the chances dmg done
Very low chance. If it was peripheral, it is nothing to worry about. Most damage is done if you look directly at the sun with the centre of your vision.
You probably look at it quite often with the side of your vision without realizing. Don't worry :)
xastropadro31
09-07-18, 23:44
I'm unsure as to how this crazy stuff keeps happening to me. So I've posted a unread about my eyes before and am currently concerned of a a defect. Now this...
I was looking at some tree for like 8 seconds. The sun, although behind a thin cloud, was in my peripheral (fairly near peripheral). I was testing this defect of course, stretching my eye open with my fingers in anger. I didn't acknowledge the Sun in my periphery.
After those 8 or so seconds, my left eye is now slightly blurry. I'm now worried thSun light in my peripheral damaged my retina... :( could this have happened? I wasn't even looking at it and it was slightly covered by thin cloud :(
Why me...
Your fine it happened to me once it went away in 30 min. Ok have you felt a strong pulse above your belly button when you push down slightly ?
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JoshuaMichael
09-07-18, 23:58
Your fine it happened to me once it went away in 30 min. Ok have you felt a strong pulse above your belly button when you push down slightly ?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
it's been 2 days since I was looking at the tree (I wasn't staring at the same place the whole time by the way), and my left eye is slightly off.
xastropadro31
10-07-18, 01:11
it's been 2 days since I was looking at the tree (I wasn't staring at the same place the whole time by the way), and my left eye is slightly off.
Just rest or take a hot shower you’ll be ok
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JoshuaMichael
23-07-18, 14:18
So, 12 days ago now, I was putting some rubbish in the garage. The garage is painted white, so the sunlight reflecting off was rather annoying - I squinted a lot to avoid discomfort (I am sensitive to light by the way). This exposure lasted maybe 30 seconds as I struggled to open the door, find the right key etc. Soon after, whilst checking my vision over the anxiety of the situation, I noticed a tiny spec in the central vision of my right eye. I've definitely had this before, or something very similar, and it goes within about 3 days. This thing hasn't gone and, being a very anxious person, I of course blame the sunlight on the garage situation.
The tiny spec appears for less than half a second after moving my eye, or after blinking. And, only sometimes as well. If I try to look for it, sometimes I'll see it and sometimes I won't. Generally this is up against a bright surface, and the spot will disappear after a split second until I trigger it again. Again I've definitely had something similar. I've been assuming it's a floater that isn't moving, (there's another thing, this spec is fixated), and it always passes. I'm a little worried because this isn't passing and I'm worried about some damage done that won't repair. I'm very very worried.
It's been 12 days and this spec remains, noticeable more when blurring my eyes and looking at the edge of an unfocused object. I'm seeing an ophthalmologist next Tuesday. But, I'm scared permanent damage has been done. Again, I can't see the dot as I type now, but all it takes to trigger the dot is as I have explained above. Thoughts?
Again, no. The sun shining on a white wall did not damage your eye.
Your anxiety is what is affecting you. That and your constant worry about your eyes.
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nomorepanic
23-07-18, 14:30
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
nomorepanic
23-07-18, 14:34
All your posts are about the same thing so have been merged. Please just post updates on this thread. Thanks
JoshuaMichael
23-07-18, 14:52
I'm dealing with too much now.
I had a bad accident in the kitchen on Friday where two bowls and a glass cup fell out the cupboard and smashed. Two days later, I have some high pitched tinnitus in my left ear. Don't worry I'm not new to tinnitus I've been a sufferer for a long time now for unknown reasons. I'm now worried the noise of the smashing did permanent damage, however I'm also struggling with impacted wax in my left ear, which I'm supposed to be getting suctioned tomorrow but now I have no idea whether I should as I've read people getting hearing loss from micro-suction and having tinnitus made worse. This dot in my eye for 12 days, blocked ear, the new tinnitus. Oh my... advice from anyone please..
no your ears won’t get permenantly damaged just by one smash of dishes... I think your tinnitus will fade in a couple of days. Don’t stress too much, breathe.
JoshuaMichael
23-07-18, 15:53
What do you think in regards to the eye situation.
What do you think in regards to the eye situation.
if youre so worried why dont you go see an opthalmologist??
JoshuaMichael
23-07-18, 18:29
I am seeing one next Tuesday. Pretty sure some permanent damage was done from the Garage door.
---------- Post added at 18:29 ---------- Previous post was at 18:25 ----------
This dot is almost in the very middle of the right eye vision. It's really scaring me.
Everyone has eye floaters, we just do not pay attention to it. And for the severe cases, it can now be easily corrected with lasik.
Just like tinnitus, we all have ringing in the ears, we just don’t focus on it.
I am seeing one next Tuesday. Pretty sure some permanent damage was done from the Garage door.
---------- Post added at 18:29 ---------- Previous post was at 18:25 ----------
This dot is almost in the very middle of the right eye vision. It's really scaring me.
What does the dot look like and did it disrupt your vision?
JoshuaMichael
25-07-18, 21:20
Hello all. I've had several panic attacks the last two days. I've really hit a new low.
I've had this wax blockage in my left ear. I woke up one morning and it felt quite bad, so we got a micro-suction booked at the local surgery for 1 weeks time. Thankfully the blocked sensation went, so the wax must've moved, and during the period I read so much about how dangerous micro-suction can be, in terms of the noise levels, which I read some terrible stories about people who had got tinnitus from this procedure, and severe hearing loss. Even though this procedure is so so common. It's actually replacing syringing as part of the new procedure for wax.
Despite what I'd read, I explained my fears to the trained nurse in charge of doing it, in depth. So, I accepted. We took a break whilst I decided whether to continue after 5 seconds, then another after 5 seconds. After about 12 seconds I had to say, you know what, I can't go on. The noise was loud. It didn't hurt at any point but it was loud and I'd recently come on with new tinnitus. Which actually started a couple days after an accident in the kitchen where two bowls smashed.
So, because I stopped the nurse, she didn't get all of it out. She said she could see more of the eardrum. She even said you should be able to hear a bit better. But no, my left ear feels worse I think. The hearing is still very muffled and quieter in that ear, even though she said she got some wax out!
I'm so scared. Could the hearing be muffled because she damaged my ear? Has the micro-suction actually caused me hearing loss just like I read? I still have this pressure feeling in there and still almost deaf in it. Had so many ear exams because of anxiety which were all okay. (I'm 15 btw). I had a panic attack immediatley after because nothing had improved it even felt a bit worse. Scared she did damage and confused at why it's still muffled. Yes there's still wax but she got rid of some! She suggested congestion but I disagree! Please help I'm crying. My tinnitus actually is a bit louder I don't know if it's anxiety but everything I read says it's probably damage. Oh dear :((
So the eye thing is better now?
Positive thoughts
JoshuaMichael
25-07-18, 21:40
No. In fact I'm seeing an ophthalmologist next Tuesday. The dot remains. I can't believe whats happened in the last 2 weeks. My hearing in the left remains completely muffled even after suction. What am I supposed to think.
It must've done damage. :(
---------- Post added at 21:40 ---------- Previous post was at 21:31 ----------
No. In fact I'm seeing an ophthalmologist next Tuesday. The dot remains. I can't believe whats happened in the last 2 weeks. My hearing in the left remains completely muffled even after suction. What am I supposed to think.
It must've done damage. :(
Interested about what everyone else thinks here, Why is my left ear still completley muffled and half deaf, even when some wax was removed. I'm very scared that the suction made problems.
AMomentofClarity
25-07-18, 21:44
I’ve got no comment on the eyes or the ear, but what I do see is someone who’s deep in the rabbit hole here. No amount of reassurance will help. You could have 500 people reply and tell you’re fine, and you won’t believe them. You’ll be back with a new fear in a week or 2 anyway.
Your best bet would be to address your crippling health anxiety. Maybe discussing therapy and our medication with your doctor. Real life help is the only way for you to break this cycle.
Good luck!
JoshuaMichael
25-07-18, 21:44
My left ear still feels completley blocked, like there's pressure from this blockage.
JoshuaMichael
04-09-18, 15:20
Hi all.
I've been here before but had to come back because I'm just feeling very scared about this situation. So, I'm a 15 year old male and have chronic anxiety to do with health, which has caused depression. This last week though, I've been experiencing symptoms that I'm worrying about more than ever. This is maybe the 20th health worry I've had in the last 2 months, and I've been known to obsess on them and then be wrong. This time, I fear I'm not wrong.
Nearly 2 weeks ago now, very soon after an anger outburst/panic outburst, I noticed I could hear a flowing sound in my ear. I'm pretty sure I'm hearing blood flow, because I can actually feel it. It seems to start only at night before bed. Like, even in silence in the daytime it's barely there. A few days later, started getting a strange head pressure and pulsing in my head, and also, this pressure really intensifies when I lie down before bed as-well - the feeling that my face will explode. (Yes, the pressure is weirdly in my face?). I'd read before about headache's when lying down being a serious sign, so this scared me. I'm now feeling the tension feeling in the right side of my neck, then sometimes my head, then both. My neck feels tender to touch too? I soon read up on Intercranial Hypertension, a condition where fluid builds in the brain and can cause blindness. Not long after seeing these symptoms I nearly lost my marbles when I woke up and my right eye was slightly blurry. Maybe I'm over analysing, but the vision seems okay now? Maybe dry eyes?
Why am I scared? Some of the main symptoms of Intercranial Hypertension are headaches, tinnitus and vision issues with neck pain and headache lying down. I'd be surprised, being a 15 year old male, to have this, but it seems like I might... opinions?
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Elen
rebelleepoque
04-09-18, 17:49
Hi Joshua. I'm so sorry to see that you are struggling. I know how hard it is to feel that something is wrong all the time. My own HA journey began with a mistaken diagnosis of IH that turned out to be nothing (AFTER I'd gone through a lot of visual field tests and a lumbar puncture...ugh!) so I understand how scary these symptoms are. Looking through your other posts, I'm reading that you have recently seen an ophthalmologist, had an MRI fairly recently, and also that you suffer from migraines. Your symptoms sound a lot like the migraines and sinus headaches that I get from changes in barometric pressure or humidity (not sure what the weather in the UK is like, but here in the northeastern US it's been really hot and humid so I've been dealing with these fairly often). If you did have IH, it would have definitely been picked up through these tests (in my case, the Dr. thought she saw papilledema, or swollen optic nerves, which can be easily seen even through an undilated pupil. It is a "tell" symptom for IH. In my case, she didn't do a good job but I've seen had other eye exams where the doctor has told me that, in true IH/papilledema, it's obvious--not something someone could miss).
I also met the criteria for an idiopathic IH patient--a young woman of reproductive age who is overweight. It would be extraordinarily rare for a young man of your age to be suffering from idiopathic IH, and any other cause would have been picked up on the eye exams and MRI. It's important that you try to relax about this, as stress can make your migraines worse (as I'm sure you know!) and that whooshing sound can be caused by increased heart rate from stress/anger.
My dad is a doctor (just goes to show that HA can start in anyone, even when you've been growing up hearing horses not zebras your whole life!), and when I start calling/texting him asking about this or that symptom that I think I've found, asking him to look at some weird bump etc., he often asks me "What are you *really* stressed about?" I've found that when I'm able to take a step back, an increase in HA is usually related to other stressors going on in my life--like anxiety about work or school, troubles with friends or my partner etc. You've said that your symptoms began after you had an anger/panic outburst--was there something specific that caused that outburst? Can you trace other flareups of your HA to similar stressors? If you can look at the context of your everyday life when you start to feel bad, it might help you talk to your parents or counselor about how to manage your symptoms. If your parents aren't receptive, do you have a counselor or trusted adult at school/sports/other activities you could talk to about what you are feeling?
You are so young and should be out enjoying your life, not worrying about illness. I gave up so much of my youth to anxiety and I know from experience that I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this if they can possibly help it. I know how easy it is to feel like you'll never get out of the spiral, but with the right support, I think you can. I wouldn't have been able to manage my HA without having people I trusted to draw on (and to trust them to tell me when they can't help me and when I need to seek out professional help). I am keeping my fingers crossed that you are feeling well and balanced soon.
Sounds like sinus issues. I get a slight blurriness with my sinus headaches. Could be migraines too
JoshuaMichael
04-09-18, 23:08
Hi Joshua. I'm so sorry to see that you are struggling. I know how hard it is to feel that something is wrong all the time. My own HA journey began with a mistaken diagnosis of IH that turned out to be nothing (AFTER I'd gone through a lot of visual field tests and a lumbar puncture...ugh!) so I understand how scary these symptoms are. Looking through your other posts, I'm reading that you have recently seen an ophthalmologist, had an MRI fairly recently, and also that you suffer from migraines. Your symptoms sound a lot like the migraines and sinus headaches that I get from changes in barometric pressure or humidity (not sure what the weather in the UK is like, but here in the northeastern US it's been really hot and humid so I've been dealing with these fairly often). If you did have IH, it would have definitely been picked up through these tests (in my case, the Dr. thought she saw papilledema, or swollen optic nerves, which can be easily seen even through an undilated pupil. It is a "tell" symptom for IH. In my case, she didn't do a good job but I've seen had other eye exams where the doctor has told me that, in true IH/papilledema, it's obvious--not something someone could miss).
I also met the criteria for an idiopathic IH patient--a young woman of reproductive age who is overweight. It would be extraordinarily rare for a young man of your age to be suffering from idiopathic IH, and any other cause would have been picked up on the eye exams and MRI. It's important that you try to relax about this, as stress can make your migraines worse (as I'm sure you know!) and that whooshing sound can be caused by increased heart rate from stress/anger.
My dad is a doctor (just goes to show that HA can start in anyone, even when you've been growing up hearing horses not zebras your whole life!), and when I start calling/texting him asking about this or that symptom that I think I've found, asking him to look at some weird bump etc., he often asks me "What are you *really* stressed about?" I've found that when I'm able to take a step back, an increase in HA is usually related to other stressors going on in my life--like anxiety about work or school, troubles with friends or my partner etc. You've said that your symptoms began after you had an anger/panic outburst--was there something specific that caused that outburst? Can you trace other flareups of your HA to similar stressors? If you can look at the context of your everyday life when you start to feel bad, it might help you talk to your parents or counselor about how to manage your symptoms. If your parents aren't receptive, do you have a counselor or trusted adult at school/sports/other activities you could talk to about what you are feeling?
You are so young and should be out enjoying your life, not worrying about illness. I gave up so much of my youth to anxiety and I know from experience that I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this if they can possibly help it. I know how easy it is to feel like you'll never get out of the spiral, but with the right support, I think you can. I wouldn't have been able to manage my HA without having people I trusted to draw on (and to trust them to tell me when they can't help me and when I need to seek out professional help). I am keeping my fingers crossed that you are feeling well and balanced soon.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, it means alot :)
My parents do listen thankfully, and my next counselling starts on the 10th. Just 30 minutes ago, I just had some fluid in my ear, which I remember being another symptom of this. (CSF leak). This just completely restores my fear! Anyhow, I greatly hope I don't have it... :(
Even an hour ago I think I'm seeing a grey patch in my eyes? I'm very obsessive so I don't even know anymore:(
rebelleepoque
05-09-18, 01:09
Thank you for taking the time to respond, it means alot :)
My parents do listen thankfully, and my next counselling starts on the 10th. Just 30 minutes ago, I just had some fluid in my ear, which I remember being another symptom of this. (CSF leak). This just completely restores my fear! Anyhow, I greatly hope I don't have it... :(
Even an hour ago I think I'm seeing a grey patch in my eyes? I'm very obsessive so I don't even know anymore:(
Not a problem! I am happy to help. :D
In any case, a CSF leak would not be consistent with IH--CSF leaks are actually from a loss of pressure, not increased pressure (this is why conventional treatment for IH essentially induces a false CSF leak through a lumbar puncture!) And in the case of both a CSF leak and IH, you would be very, very, sick--I won't say here what the symptoms are (please try not to Google!) but rest assured you would be miserable and unable to post to an internet forum in doubt. Those news stories we see about how someone didn't know their CSF was leaking through their nose or something like that are news stories because they are newsworthy--they are SO rare that they're worth talking about! To get clicks, which equal money, websites will post about the rarest/scariest things to draw people in. Representation online doesn't equal how often it actually appears in the population. I think it is really most likely (in fact I'd bet on it) that your ear issue is related to sinus or allergy problems that also would cause a headache.
There is some research which suggests that anxiety, and most specifically health anxiety, is closely related to obsessive-compulsive disorder. Both of these conditions are fundamentally about a fear of a loss of control; I think this is why HA sufferers, myself included, tend to default to very rare and incurable diseases like rabies, ALS, bad cancers etc. We worry about those because we worry about feeling out-of-control. So compulsive behaviors like checking our eyes, muscle movements, etc. are about trying to regain a semblance of control and order. My doctor has told me that these behaviors occur amongst people with anxiety disorders of all forms--HA sufferers, people who have panic attacks, veterans with PTSD, etc. The only thing that has helped me has been trying to "taper off" my worry--I've been able to do this with the help of lots of therapy and medication, so it might be a good thing to try. If I can feel my HA flaring up, I give myself 20 minutes a day to indulge it--I think to myself "Okay, I'll let myself check for spots in my eyes for 20 minutes. I'll let myself check my peripheral vision for 20 minutes. Then I'm going to do the things I want to do for the rest of the day." The next week, I do 10 minutes. Then the next week 5, etc.
I also try to make sure that I up trying to do things that make me feel secure and happy. For me, that's going to the movies, grabbing drinks with my friends and partner, and making sure I get enough sleep (if my anxiety is keeping me from sleeping well, I'll have some valerian tea or take melatonin). I might try to rearrange my schedule so I can finish my work and get home early. I'll listen to my favorite music or watch a stupid TV show. As I'm sure you know, anxiety can wreak havoc on our bodies. I spent ages convinced there was something wrong with my heart; it turned out that I was holding myself so tightly that it was making my chest wall hurt. We notice things that average people--or even doctors--might not notice or care about. It doesn't mean that there's anything really wrong. Our bodies produce all sorts of "noise--" an ache, a weird ear sensation, an eye flicker or spot, etc.--that doesn't mean very much. Ultimately it's just part of being a human! Part of practicing self-care is creating the conditions that allow us to help tune out that noise when we are hypervigilant.
I think you are a little young for medication atm, but it might be worth asking your counselor about some mindfulness exercises for when you are very stressed. If you are already doing some and they aren't helping, definitely mention that to your counselor as well. I am glad your parents are understanding--that helps so much! Spend some time this week doing things that make you feel good--even if you are feeling anxious while you do them, give yourself permission to notice and feel that anxiety, but keep doing the thing. I really think it will help you while you wait for your appointment! :)
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