Do You Think Your Upbringing Has Anything To Do With Your Anxiety?

[samtheman]

Just wondering if your upbringing has anything to do with developing anxiety conditions?

Myself my mum left when I was 2, My dad then married again and to this day I still maintain my stepmother could easily have got the leading role in them evil stepmother movies of the 80's.

My parents where very strict and very bitter, growing up as a Protestant in Nothern Ireland in a 90% nationalist area I was not allowed to play even talk to catholics, which mean't as a child I had no friends at home to play with, so its ironic I married one, and as an only child I'm sure this also didn't help.

So whats your thoughts can the way your brought up play a part in whether or not you develope and anxiety disorder?

[kate]

Hiya,

There is already an active thread about this. I don't know how to post a link :blush: but search General Anxiety and the thread is entitled "Childhood Backgrounds".

Kate

[hoppipolla]

aww man i can completely understand how that could cause you to have anxiety, we all need freedom to play and socialize when we are younger and it's also obviously very beneficial when parents set a friendly and good example for us to follow.

I think mine has too, as as nice people as my parents are, they are both very stressy people. My dad is very stressed at work and can flip from happy and jokey to frustrated and a bit angry in an instant, so i can never relax around him. It happens often to when something goes even slightly wrong. He used to put me down quite a bit too without really meaning to, just like teasing and stuff. My mum is very busy busy busy and constantly on the go and seems to find it very hard to relax or do things slowly, she is also way too observant and never lets anything pass her by. Plus she is LOUD lol which really doesn't help!

That and I was teased all throughout primary and secondary school ._.

[smudgie]

Hi there

yes i do, its why Im like I am now and probably always will be.
My mother treated me badly because I should of been the boy she always wanted and kept telling me I should of been drowned at birth.
I was sexually abused at the age of 9yrs by a family friend , so YES my childhood has ruined my life
take care
ness

[Ellen70]

My short answer is YES, definitely, my upbringing was the major factor in my anxiety and depression problems. However after three years of psychotherapy I feel able to accept that my parents didn't know any better and that my brother who has violent schizophrenia, was indeed ill.
I wouldn't say that there was a 'moment' when I realised that carryong on hating certain family members was doing me more harm than good but after so many years of therpay (with a brilliant pyschotherapist) I just got fed up of all the hating and tired of thinking of my past all of the time.

I still have resentments and issues but they are nothing compared to what I used to have.

Ellen x

[groovygranny]

Hi there Sam!

The thread Kate mentions is a poll-based thread and is 2 years old - here is a link to it:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3693&highlight=Childhood+backgrounds


On a more personal note and in response to this thread:

Yes, I think our childhood can play a significant role in any anxiety conditions we may develop.

I too am an only child and when I was 5 my mother had what I suppose was a nervous 'incident'. Our family life since then revolved around her 'problem' but it was never talked about or resolved. Doctor just told her to 'pull yourself together here's some valium' as in the fifties this is what most were told when confronted with conditions like this.
She totally relied upon me and my father for everything - and did not directly involve herself with any aspect of my life until after I was married and pregnant with my first child.

I am convinced that these issues contributed toward my own 'incident' over two years ago.
I would dearly love for me and my mother to be able to talk about how this has affected both of us but, sadly, I don't see that happening any time soon.

:hugs:

:flowers:

[bearcrazy]

:hugs:
I definitely think that there is a strong link. My parents, especially my dad, were very strict and I soon learnt that in order to keep things on an even keel I did things to please my dad and kept out of trouble. Therefore I became a people pleaser, always putting others before myself, thinking that the only way people would like me was to do what they wanted me to do. I am now learning that its not possible to live like this all the time. Sometimes i have to put myself first in order to stay healthy. That litle word 'No' is the hardest one to say for me, but I am getting there. :hugs:

[Lindalou64]

I Had A Very Different Childhood Rather Not Discuss It Its Too Long But Anyways.i Believe Its All Chemical...grant It Yes You Can Be Maybe Shy Or Cant Take A Compliment Or Ect Because Of Ya Childhood.......i Would Never Blame My Disorder On My Parents.as I Said Its Chemical........from My Dad Side......but Thats Me.......linda Xxx

[clickaway]

Deffo.

I was separated from my parents and brother when I was five for six weeks and I knew that upset me big time. But throughout my childhood I was surrounded by rowing parents and my mum eventually told my dad to leave when I was 15. I had epilepsy during my formative years also (from age 11 to 24) and that screwed me up too.

Never knew love as a kid and not sure what it is even now if I'm honest.

I've always been worried about myself - never had proper friends to share the issues and I suppose in later in life, I suppose all this stuff just exploded!

[jodie]

HI SAM

i do think that my upbringing has somthink to do with it i dont want to go into it all but my mum and my nana were both panicers had very bad anxiety to mum still dose so i am not sure if this is learnt or if i sffer coz i have seem them suffer

jodie x

[Southern_Belle]

I don't think your upbringing has anything to do with it for me personally anyways. I was raised in a very loving household with 2 great parents. My 3 other siblings do not have any form of any anxiety or depression, nor my parents (well my dad is a tad claustrophobic in elevators but rides in them). Now my dad's mother did have huge anxiety so for me I must say I think it could be genetic as I have had anxiety since birth.

Laura

[tnt808]

I think it's both, well for me it is. As far back as I can remember I have been an anxious person. When I was little everyone used to say I was a *worry wart* nobody knew the word *anxiety*, or they just didn't want to use it.

My Dad had anxiety, and I know now depression. So, I was doomed. I was the little girl that shouldn't of rode her bike too fast because you can get hurt, or don't jump on the bed you'll fall down, etc. I know he was just trying to protect me, but in doing so it didn't help in the anxiety department.

So, to answer the question I think it can be genetic...as well as enviroment.