pgw84
18-08-07, 22:14
Hi everyone, again.
I'm still incredibly anxious about my heart, so much so it's difficult to put in to words, and no amount of words could do the intensity of this depression and anxiety any justice.
I've been to the doctors so many times now, that it feels they'll only accept my complaints once I've got some help from the primary care mental health place, I've booked an appointment for another course which is next month. I don't feel I can't go back to the doctors anytime soon as I feel so ashamed and I've been so many times that no one believes me, even though my symptoms are very real.
Tonight I've thought about calling the Samaritans and thought about suicide too, although I can't really do either.
I went to the doctors a short while back and said about these funny heartbeats I've been getting, which they said were textbook ectopic beats, dropping in chest, thumping heart beat, breathless etc.., I feel so stupid about not mentioning the others beats I get which bother me the most. When during or after exertion I sometimes get a slow heartbeat, much slower than my resting pulse. It beats very slowly and irregularly, it sometimes goes with my breathing too, like an exaggerated form of sinus arrhythmia. I do not get the strange dropping feeling in my chest like I do with 'ectopic beats', but my heart beats irregularly and slow. It doesn't last long before my heart rate returns to normal.
I have a bit of pectus carinatum too, which I've read can cause heart problems, I also have a low BMI.
I am so convinced I have an undiagnosed heart problem that it has ruinned my life, I also feel depression and anxiety about other thing too, although this is the main one. I can see the honesty in the absurdness and pointlessness of it all, I feel like ending it all now, instead of living whatevers left of my life in such tortuous pain.
This is a mega post I know, sorry in advance.
I'm still incredibly anxious about my heart, so much so it's difficult to put in to words, and no amount of words could do the intensity of this depression and anxiety any justice.
I've been to the doctors so many times now, that it feels they'll only accept my complaints once I've got some help from the primary care mental health place, I've booked an appointment for another course which is next month. I don't feel I can't go back to the doctors anytime soon as I feel so ashamed and I've been so many times that no one believes me, even though my symptoms are very real.
Tonight I've thought about calling the Samaritans and thought about suicide too, although I can't really do either.
I went to the doctors a short while back and said about these funny heartbeats I've been getting, which they said were textbook ectopic beats, dropping in chest, thumping heart beat, breathless etc.., I feel so stupid about not mentioning the others beats I get which bother me the most. When during or after exertion I sometimes get a slow heartbeat, much slower than my resting pulse. It beats very slowly and irregularly, it sometimes goes with my breathing too, like an exaggerated form of sinus arrhythmia. I do not get the strange dropping feeling in my chest like I do with 'ectopic beats', but my heart beats irregularly and slow. It doesn't last long before my heart rate returns to normal.
I have a bit of pectus carinatum too, which I've read can cause heart problems, I also have a low BMI.
I am so convinced I have an undiagnosed heart problem that it has ruinned my life, I also feel depression and anxiety about other thing too, although this is the main one. I can see the honesty in the absurdness and pointlessness of it all, I feel like ending it all now, instead of living whatevers left of my life in such tortuous pain.
This is a mega post I know, sorry in advance.