On the verge of a breakdown and suicide...

[HullSimplibus]

As i'm sat here typing this, i'm 14, and have had the most severe depressive episode I have had in my whole life.

I lost confidence with school as I did before, because of its factors..
Socializing, being in a classroom, e.t.c, I walk past the gates...

I have had constant health anxieties which have only just ended but contributed to everything..

I got into a fight on Friday which ended with me being hit in the face, that has not helped me at all.

If this carries on, and I get kicked out of school, my mum will face big consequences..

If I don't go to school, have no education and GCSEs I will have no life in the future and will not be able to get a job..

I know I need to go to school, but the constant anxiety and depression is stopping me..I feel like its a challenge just getting up out of bed and leaving the door..

I'm contemplating suicide. All the worry is getting to me, i'm tempted to overdose on paracetamol or throw myself in front of a speeding train or car. I feel like my life is completely hopeless and its game over...

[Croydonbee]

Hi pal

So sorry you're struggling.
Please do talk to your headmaster/headmistress. head of year or a teacher you like. It'll be a huge weight off your shoulders.
And plenty of kids get home-schooled too. You can learn anywhere, not just at school.
But do talk to people/family/school/doctor. They are all there to help.
Every best wish.

[HullSimplibus]

Hi pal

So sorry you're struggling.
Please do talk to your headmaster/headmistress. head of year or a teacher you like. It'll be a huge weight off your shoulders.
And plenty of kids get home-schooled too. You can learn anywhere, not just at school.
But do talk to people/family/school/doctor. They are all there to help.
Every best wish.

I am not entirely sure who I can talk to in school as it is a 14-16 college

I was homeschooled for a while and I heard you cannot get any GCSEs from that

Thanks..

[Kate21]

Please don't give up. I was your ages when my troubles started and I eventually had to tell my school what was going on as I was skipping school and got found out.
You will be surprised at how kind your teachers can be if you open upto them. They want you to succeed and be happy and healthy even if it doesn't feel like they do and they are on your case.
You have so much to look forward to in your life and so much to experience. In years time you will look back on this hard time and know you are a stronger person for getting through it.

[HullSimplibus]

Please don't give up. I was your ages when my troubles started and I eventually had to tell my school what was going on as I was skipping school and got found out.
You will be surprised at how kind your teachers can be if you open upto them. They want you to succeed and be happy and healthy even if it doesn't feel like they do and they are on your case.
You have so much to look forward to in your life and so much to experience. In years time you will look back on this hard time and know you are a stronger person for getting through it.

Thanks

I just feel so weak and everything is a challenge

And people seem to think I should 'Man up'

[Buster70]

Hi there , my daughter was at school when she overdosed on paracetamol the results were horrific for her and us as parents , she was desperate as you are and we had no idea how she was feeling , there are people you can talk to , family , friends , school , you don't have to suffer in silence.
My daughter survived by the skin of her teeth some are not so lucky, she is older now , left home , boyfriend , working , things can change for the better in the blink of an eye so hang in there , there are people that will care enough to help and don't feel you have to man up I'm 48 and still make that mistake .
Take care .

[Kate21]

Thanks

I just feel so weak and everything is a challenge

And people seem to think I should 'Man up'

This is why you need to speak to someone, teachers or a school counsellor, they certainly will not tell you to man up. Getting better is exhausting but you will be so glad you kept fighting. You've already taken a positive step by finding this website, people on here will always listen and help anyway they can

[Nicole0134]

This is such a tough time for you - being a teenager has never been easy, but these days it's 100x worse due to social media etc (where EVERYONE appears to be having such a brilliant time but really aren't!!) and a pressure to succeed that just wasn't there years ago. But this stage and its challenges will pass. Chances are, life will always throw a few curve balls, it's the nature of the game. But throw in the good times that will surely come as well and it's worth hanging in there....

[HullSimplibus]

Hi there , my daughter was at school when she overdosed on paracetamol the results were horrific for her and us as parents , she was desperate as you are and we had no idea how she was feeling , there are people you can talk to , family , friends , school , you don't have to suffer in silence.
My daughter survived by the skin of her teeth some are not so lucky, she is older now , left home , boyfriend , working , things can change for the better in the blink of an eye so hang in there , there are people that will care enough to help and don't feel you have to man up I'm 48 and still make that mistake .
Take care .

I'm sorry she was going through what she was going through to do that and also the pain of that for those around her. I hope she is doing well..

Thanks..

---------- Post added at 00:52 ---------- Previous post was at 00:48 ----------


This is why you need to speak to someone, teachers or a school counsellor, they certainly will not tell you to man up. Getting better is exhausting but you will be so glad you kept fighting. You've already taken a positive step by finding this website, people on here will always listen and help anyway they can

I have no confidence to go out anywhere nor the energy..

Putting on a college uniform feels like i'm putting on an army uniform and i'm about to go out into a battlefield..Its really hard to go and see a counselor

I am getting next to no sleep every night worrying..

---------- Post added at 00:53 ---------- Previous post was at 00:52 ----------


This is such a tough time for you - being a teenager has never been easy, but these days it's 100x worse due to social media etc (where EVERYONE appears to be having such a brilliant time but really aren't!!) and a pressure to succeed that just wasn't there years ago. But this stage and its challenges will pass. Chances are, life will always throw a few curve balls, it's the nature of the game. But throw in the good times that will surely come as well and it's worth hanging in there....

I know..

The social challenges of being a teenager honestly don't mix with low confidence and panic attacks..

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear you are struggling :hugs:

Please see this thread as it gives you places you can contact for help, some of them will be available right now:

https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=38701

At your age you could consider contacting somewhere like Childline. It's not just for abused children as it's often portrayed and they will try to help you.

You can also call The Samaritans anytime and they will listen to you.

The trouble is it takes time to get help and you will need your parents on board. You can see your GP at your age but he/she has to decide whether you are mature enough to agree to treatments or the illnesses themselves. But if not they will want to speak to your parents.

You've seen Buster's post and he's been through this on the parents side. I can add a story of someone I knew who's son was a few years older than you. He returned home to found his son had committed suicide and it was extremely traumatic for the family, the older brother was off work with depression for sometime afterwards. None of them had a clue.

Reach out to them. If you can't, reach out to somebody at these call lines or your GP. Or do all of them.

Right now you will be catastrophizing big time. Talking can help to release the emotions you are feeling. It might be enough to get you to confront another day. And you go from there.

As said above there are alternatives to schooling. Some adults leave with nothing anyway and return to education later. It's not everything in life, many people get all the degrees and still end up in dead end careers they can't stand. What matters most is that you are happy and the rest will just follow. I'm sure given the choice your parents would be telling you education comes a big second to not suffering your life like this.

I would also explain the severity of your feelings because it will help CAMHS assess your application for treatment (I might be wrong but haven't you recently mentioned approaching a GP?)

[pulisa]

Terry is so right. You can have all the qualifications and degrees under the sun and still be miserable as sin. Mental health is so very important particularly at your age. You have to speak out and let your parents know how low you are and keep talking to them. Keep the channels of communication going. Your parents may have no idea about how you are feeling-give them the opportunity to help you because you need help and you need it now. Whatever professional help you access you need people you love and trust to know what is going on now.