University: Feeling the Anxiety Take Over Again

[Sophie_King]

Hi everyone.


I've posted here before about my biggest anxiety fuel: University.


I'm starting tomorrow, and last year went very badly. However, I was able to get a grip of myself and control my anxiety pretty well during the summer break.


At first I had a meltdown because I tried so hard but I wasn't able to pass my first year; at the end of the day, I just didn't study enough and everything just snowballed together, so now this year I'm only there to repeat subjects I didn't complete so that hopefully next year I can go to the 2nd year.


My biggest problem, and it's what's making me anxious again, is all the money I feel that my parents wasted. Even though my parents are 100% supportive and my parents have more then 100 times told me to not worry because my college fund they made for me has enough for all the expenses, I still get anxiety from thinking how much money they are spending on me so I can follow my dream and I feel like a failure!


I know I can do better, I won't make the same mistakes but I feel like it's always in the back of my mind, creeping over me, that I don't deserve anything that I have...


Has anyone else been in this situation that can just talk about it? I feel like I just need to get this off my chest with someone "who's been there before".

[jalapeno1234]

Hey :)

Very glad someone else feels the same as I do - I failed my first year too and GUARANTEE that I was WAY WORSE than you as I literally began failing my music course(it was very strict and classical and formal) within the first month. I ended up staying in the city and finding a job and just enjoying the money I spent.

My second attempt was successful although I moved universities and chose to study a course which was more suitable. I graduated with a 2:1.

I understand what you mean about feeling guilty, but you shouldn't because theres nothing that they want more than to see you not only do but TRY to succeed in something you want a career in. They sound like lovely supportive parents and just the fact that you feel bad shows you're a good person.

I am starting my masters degree in two days and I am PETRIFIED. I feel like you have license to feel nervous and anxious as you're probably younger than me (Im 25) and have had less uni experience but trust me, if you had the courage to apply and accept your offer, trust that you can and WILL do this!! Some people show up for one day and leave as its too intense/uncomfortable..but if theres any advice id give you except for prioritising your work amongst the social/own time you'll have.. is find good people. I left home a little lost at 19 after being well looked after in a quiet home and was in an accommodation of 200 students who all drank excessively and were WILD! I found a girl in my hall once who was crying as she missed her home(international student) and we become bonded for the entire year.. we eventually made friends with two or three others who had our interests and formed a little "team". I never would have imagined any of it back then..but as long as you find that one person to semi-confide in, you'll be rolling.

Im anxious about masters for SO many reasons, its in a big city and like you...im scared to waste the money my parents are helping me out with..but I think with anxiety we have to take one step at a time..live in the moment. Im even nervous about the drive down as we nearly broke down last time when we went for a tour :P.

You will be perfectly fine and you'll excel in your work - if you're really passionate about the degree believe me you'll succeed. I went through a horrific breakthrough in my 3rd year and some terrible fallouts(we were all stressed haha) and somehow we all managed to get 2:1s and above.

[Sophie_King]

Thank you @jalapeno1234 !


I'm not much younger than you, I'm 24; depression and other factors led to me completing my 12th grade pretty late and I spent a year after that just working and studying for the exam I needed to apply for this college. Plus, I was already a year behind everyone else in age because I had to repeat a grade when I moved to his country.


My first and second day actually went well! I got to see my friends and class mates that I made last year and felt very welcomed by the one's who are new.



Today I was a bit more anxious because school started yesterday but only today did they start accepting registration for those, like me, who had subjects from past years to repeat. Had to wait three hours but I was determined to get everything taken care of as soon as possible.


I was able to get in the class I wanted so I have classes on Monday, Thursday and Friday; that gives me two day intervals to study and prepare things for the next class which is how I find I can actually LEARN and not just MEMORIZE. Plus, no classes at 8AM, which I found last year were a waste for me because I can't concentrate until 9-9:30AM.



I take public transport to university and it takes a full hour just to get there, plus 10-15 minutes I take from my house to get to the train station; nobody deserves to have to wake up for Anatomy and Analytical Chemistry at 6:30AM, believe me! :emote-sleepyhead:



So yeah, thanks for replying, I feel a lot better after reading your post. I hope your masters goes well! I'm sure that if you were able to finish the other one (not familiar with how it works in the UK; what's a 2:1?), you will be able to get your masters degree with good grades! :D