Setback - peripheral nephropathy?

[cattia]

I've been working really hard on my HA, I've been in therapy for the best part of a year now and things have improved. This time last year I could barely function, whereas recently my anxiety has been very much on the back burner. However recently I have had a real setback. I have experienced a systematic feeling in both feet and on one occasion my hands. This feels like a multitude of tiny ice cold pins pricking my skin. This came out of nowhere the first two times it happened. Now it is becoming more frequent. I resisted googling for a number of weeks (might not sound much but I was googling all day every day). I gave in and of course I read about peripheral neuropathy caused by tumours.I am now experiencing a lot of panic and anxiety every time I have this sensation and it is getting worse. I have come a long way and I feel like I am sliding back. I can't find a strategy to deal with this because as always this seems like something very real that can't have a simple explanation. The fact that it has happened when my anxiety was largely in check has almost made it worse because I feel I can't attribute it to anxiety. I really really don't want to slide back to how I was this time last year but I can't seem to step back from this.

[SarahNah]

I know the feeling hun! I'm having my own slip at the moment. I have the same issues of thinking that something can't be simple. So I know it's funny for me to try and offer something when I have something like that myself in my thought process.

Now! For the feeling, I've gotten feelings just you said for most of my life. My Doctor never seem worried, she said it could be a number of things but nothing serious in her eyes. I know every case is different but I think you're just fine! Like someone said to me and I'm not trying to sound snarky or something! I'm just to relate info. How many times have you/google been wrong before.

Think about how far you have come from that time. How much effort you've put into it since. I know it's hard, I'm struggling myself. Yet we can do this!

[Fishmanpa]

I think you're referring to peripheral neuropathy. I have it in my feet from treatment. It's an issue of the nerves and once you get to the point of feeling symptoms it doesn't go away. You have good days and such but it's constant. Since your symptoms come and go, it leans away from neuropathy. My feet are essentially numb. I still can feel but it's muted if that makes sense. I don't feel the cold so I have to always wear socks. It always feels like I'm walking on scrunched up socks. I've stubbed my toe and dropped things on my foot and it hurts a little but most people would be rolling on the floor in pain. I don't realize how bad I hurt myself until I see the bruise. I also get pins and needles and what I call stabbies where it feels like someone stabbing you with an ice pick. Meds to help with the symptoms.

I wrote in another post about the phrase "I read..." and then cherry picking information to validate your fear. Unfortunately, that's exactly what you've done :lac: What techniques have you learned that can help you rationalize it? That said, I'm not a doctor so if it's really bothering you, certainly get checked if you feel the need but what you describe is not my experience with it.

Positive thoughts

[cattia]

Thanks fishmanpa. I have a Dr appointment in two weeks which was the first one I could get so I will definitely see what they say. I struggle to rationalise my worries. I mean I can, but I already understand that they are irrational, it doesn't help me to think logically about them because however unlikely things are, they still happen. For me I am trying more to work on acceptance but it's hard. I try my best but it's hard to accept that this could be the start of the thing that ends my life, takes me away from my family etc. I know that sounds dramatic and it is dramatic, but at the same time it's important for me to accept that however unlikely that may be, it could always be true. It's one of those things that I have no real control over. I try to keep that possibility in perspective whilst at the same time not denying it. If that makes sense?

[Fishmanpa]

That makes sense Cattia. Part of healing and life in general is to be at peace with the unknown and things that are out of our control. Sounds like you recognize that and are actually making progress. I can see a difference in your posts and replies from a year ago. This is just a blip. You'll be fine :)

Positive thoughts

[cattia]

Thanks Sarah, it's reassuring to know you've experienced something similar. I am sorry to hear you're struggling too. I hope you can find the strength to push through your own relapse. It's very hard to feel like you've made progress then you're back to square one again.