Dangerously close to passing this to my kids.

[travelgirl77]

So, I have a lot of factors going on right now that are feeding my anxiety. But, each day I wake up and have an overwhelming fear that one or both of my kids will have a fatal disease. I keep checking their vision, asking how they feel, looking for bruises or bumps, checking their eyes and eyelids, convinced I see something amiss. I KNOW it needs to stop, not only for myself, but I can see I am very close to making them anxious too. Some of the factors need to get managed to help with the anxiety (my spouse is currently stationed somewhere else than us because we couldn't sell our house, which is just so stressful and lonely), but my question is how do you go about finding help. I am in the U.S., so do I go to my doctor and ask for a referral? Do I pick someone from who my insurance covers? I just need to know the first step to getting help because this cannot go on. Each day I am convinced they are dying and I plan their funerals, calling my husband with the news, mapped out distances to good cancer hospitals, where we would bury them, etc. I have gone into my daughter's room with a flashlight to check her at night (there was no reason to admit that, but it feels good to get it off my chest).

[RadioGaGa]

travelgirl77

It definitely sounds like you have a lot of issues going on (I don't mean that in the cheeky way it might sound) but definitely, if this is starting to cause distress to your children you'll need to speak to somebody.

I'm not too familiar with the healthcare system in America - but probably the best place to start is to see your PCP (or GP, whichever you prefer to call him/her).

I can't really offer you any more advice, although you could definitely get some help by seeing your GP. They should be able to offer you some form of treatment, but they can escalate this to a referral should you wish...

Good luck

[AnxietySufferer]

"today you worried about the tomorrow that never happened"

You sound like you are going through a really tough time. I don't have any children myself, but I know how draining health anxiety can be and the obsession it causes.

I find myself checking things that are worrying me throughout the night, e.g. bruises that won't have had time to heal. Even if this is a symptom of something more sinister, the one thing I know for sure is that it is not normal to respond in this obsessive way as I always always ALWAYS fear the worst. I have suffered with this since I was 16/17 (6 years now), maybe even as a child and I am yet to be diagnosed with anything I feared. Children are young and resilient.

You are doing all the right things through accepting that it is anxiety and reaching out for the doctors help. In the mean time we are always here to listen to your fears, remember that nothing here is considered ridiculous.

The point i'm trying to make is that you are not alone, and you should be proud of yourself for reaching out.

I think the first thing you need to remind yourself of is that it is an irrational fear. Yes, its good to be health aware and notice changes, but your anxiety surrounding health will make sure nothings missed. Many signs of illness can be acknowledged and dealt with quickly. What you don't want it to do is feed your health anxiety and let the irrational thoughts take over your life.

Its a lot easier said than done. Searching for answers on this forum will only temporarily reassure you. Although, it is a great way to see that there are so many people going through the exact same thing is you.

:shrug::welcome::bighug1:

[Kittenrain]

Hi,
I have kids and I know how you feel exactly. Sometimes the anxiety is about me dying and leaving them and sometimes it is about them.
I check them often. I wake up feeling dreading the day ahead in case one of them says they don't feel well.
When they tell me something hurts or they feel sick I start to panic. I check them at night too. One thing I am fixated on is Lyme. I check them every time we go out. Even to the grocery store... Down the concrete driveway in the car to the concrete parking lot and the store... No grass and certainly no woods. But I still panic.
I saw my G. P.
I didn't want the medicine though. (too scared) instead what the doctor he sent me to said was to stay in the moment. Sounds wierd but think like an animal. Choose your favourite animal and stay in the moment like they would. Try to enjoy it and don't think about the past or the future. For me one thing was listening when my kids would go to the bathroom. (I was scared of so many things with their digestion and /or urination) now I hum or go far from the bathroom.
Wishing you all the best. It's still hard but getting much easier each day.

[Miley]

So, I have a lot of factors going on right now that are feeding my anxiety. But, each day I wake up and have an overwhelming fear that one or both of my kids will have a fatal disease. I keep checking their vision, asking how they feel, looking for bruises or bumps, checking their eyes and eyelids, convinced I see something amiss. I KNOW it needs to stop, not only for myself, but I can see I am very close to making them anxious too. Some of the factors need to get managed to help with the anxiety (my spouse is currently stationed somewhere else than us because we couldn't sell our house, which is just so stressful and lonely), but my question is how do you go about finding help. I am in the U.S., so do I go to my doctor and ask for a referral? Do I pick someone from who my insurance covers? I just need to know the first step to getting help because this cannot go on. Each day I am convinced they are dying and I plan their funerals, calling my husband with the news, mapped out distances to good cancer hospitals, where we would bury them, etc. I have gone into my daughter's room with a flashlight to check her at night (there was no reason to admit that, but it feels good to get it off my chest).

I have done the flashlight too!!! I’m seriously at my wits end with this. It’s consuming me 24/7. I constantly have to stop myself from checking my daughter. I’ve now convinced myself the sharp of her skull is not normal and I have crazy panic attacks thinking the worst. And she’s had a swollen lymph node in her neck for 3 months now which I’ve been to the dr twice for and shec said it’s nothinh but I still worry like crazy. She woke up this morning with an ear ache and I’m tsking this opportunity to take her to the dr under the guise of an ear ache but I’m going to ask them to check her head. Her appt is in an hour and I’m sitting here shaking!!! How do we get this under control??!

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry you're going through this! You can go to your primary care doctor to discuss mental health issues and he/she can prescribe medication if that's the best course of action. Your doctor may also be able to refer you to a psychiatrist. If you want to try talk therapy, you can search for therapists/psychologists who take your insurance and should be able to just make an appointment on your own without a referral.

---------- Post added at 11:46 ---------- Previous post was at 11:23 ----------

I'll add that I grew up with a mother who had/has health anxiety and I did get it from her. My therapist told me that a big reason I have the anxiety I do is that I grew up being taught that the world is not a safe place and things that aren't actually dangerous are. It was such a breakthrough for me. I have a 4 year old, and thankfully my anxiety only focuses on me, not her health. But, I'm so aware of not passing this on to her that any time I'm really anxious I explain it to her - I tell her that I have a condition called anxiety disorder and it's like being sick, but in my mind instead of my body. It makes me feel afraid of things that there's really no reason to be afraid of, and that there's no reason for her to ever worry about the things I worry about. I am open with her that I go to a therapist to help me with this condition so I can stop being scared of so many things. I am hoping this helps her to see that my anxieties are just that - anxieties, not dangers. My mom never explained this to me as a kid. This may be a good way for you to both work on your own anxieties and help them manage what they see and hear.

[doxiemama]

I'm with Erin on this, I grew up with a Mother who had HA really bad, and it has passed on to me! (The gift that keeps on giving!) :weep: not to make you more nervous. I feel so bad for the situation you are in. HA is such a mean mental illness, it has no mercy, and some how always gets the best of us. It's very hard for anyone who doesn't have HA to understand just how mean it is! I hope you can talk to someone, (Doctor/Therapist) and feel better! There is even a wealth of information on here. Life is so short, enjoy your babies, try to interact, and focus on what a blessing they are. When I was raising my children, and I didn't feel well, I would play a game with them, run with them, etc. Anything to distract those mean thoughts, and not let them know I felt bad! It usually worked! I hope you feel better soon! :hugs:

[SarahNah]

My Mam is as cool as the wind. She's hand and currently has a lot of health issues. Yet she's a real fighter! She's also had a lot of mental issues and truly harsh times in her life. Yet it was my sister constant anixety that I feel like I picked up on as child and passed onto me.

My sister is ten years older then me and like I've said before she had a huge health issue when she was 18. Yet it was never health anixety with her. Just overwhelming anixety in ever aspect of her life. Like we used to share a room and she'd be up all night pacing the room or like all these different things. I feel like watching her didn't cause my anixety directly but it has a huge impact on me. Like my sister thankful is on a super good path now. Yet she has cried alot saying she feels like it's her fault that I'm suffering so badly now.