Husband has left me..

[belle]

Says he "still cares about me" but "doesn't want to be in the situation of marriage anymore".

I am totally devested.
The thought of no longer having him around is killing me.
I hate the idea of not having a man to cuddle or to make you feel safe when you feel sh*t.

So scared.

[Gabby]

Really sorry to hear your news

I dont expect its any comfort, but I stuck with my marriage for ages cos I was scared I wouldnt be able to cope on my own esp cos hubby helped me to manage my panic for a long time. I finally plucked up the courage to go and being on my own was one the best things I ever did. I learned to cope without relying on a man. It was tough and I felt lonely and scared at times to but I have come out of the other side a stronger person.
I coped and you will too. Its scary now but it will show you how strong you are in yourself and how much you can achieve on your own.

Gabby xx

[belle]

Hi Gabby..
The difference is, i still love my husband and didn't want him to go, whereas by the sounds of your situation, you wanted it to end.
My husband leaving, is the worst possible thing that could happen to me. I adore my husband despite his faults.
I have no reason for anything now.
I've got no friends, no money and i can't go out.

[michellemumof4]

Hello Sweetie

I am so so sorry you are going through this , and I pray that when things have cooled down you and your man can sit down and talk things through.

Perhaps he just needs time to gather his thoughts, I hope this is the case I truly do.

Pls remember what ever happens you got people here that are ready to listen and lend a shoulder to lean on.

Good luck darling

Michelle xxx

[happyone]

Honey

best I can offer at the moment is my hugs:hugs:

I know things haven't been easy for you in recent months and this must seem like the hardest blow.

You can and will get over this hun.

happyone
xx

[bluesparkle]

oh bluebell...
i am in the same situation right now, my partner left about 2 weeks ago...
if you look back at my old posts you will see...
i cant really help or give any advice but i know how you feel. please pm me if you would like to chat...
all i can say is hang on in there
rach
x

[Dave777]

Hi Bluebell, sorry to hear about your situation.
You have friends here you can call on, I hope it helps.

best regards
Dave:flowers: x

[trac67]

Hi

Sorry to hear your situation, I stayed in a marriage I was unhappy in for ages, because I too was scared that I couldn't cope on my own. When he did walk out it was tough at first, but I survived and now find I cope well on my own.

Things will get easier for you, contact the citizens advice bureau they can help you with what you should do with regards to money etc.

Keep your chin up hon

Take care

Trac xxx

[groovygranny]

Bluebell,

I don't have any pearls of wisdom I'm afraid, cos I lnow this stuff hurts like hell - first husband left me a long long time ago.......

but I've now been married for over 30 years....so to coin a cliche 'there is light at the end of the tunnel'........

It must just seem such a long way off the way you're feeling at the moment.

big hugs for you


:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[maz]

Bluebell I am thinking of you, please keep posting because reading your replies tells me you have people who really care about you and are always ready to listen
love Mariaxx

[belle]

Struggling here.

I am so alone. I've got no one to call up and come and see me if i am feeling upset or even panicky.

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Bluebell, I am so sorry to hear about your husband leaving. As you can see there are so many people that have been in the same situation and please trust that the way you are feeling is temporary and you will feel better.

My husband walked out on me and my then 9yr old son just over 20yrs ago. I can still remember it all like it was just yesterday as it was the most painful experience I had ever gone through. Like you I was desperately sad and lonely as my "safe person" had gone and I had to learn over the years to find reassurance within myself. My agoraphobia was so bad at the time that I could hardly go out and I was convinced I would never feel happy again and that no one else had ever felt as sad and devastated as I was feeling.

I am sure things will get better for you, it can take time, but I am sure you can and will do it :hugs:

[trac67]

Bluebell

Try to keep yourself busy mate and remember that you do have friends here when you need someone to talk to

Feel free to pm me if you need a chat

Love

Trac xxx

[belle]

Just looked online, he's cleared out the bank account too.

The day is just getting better, isn't it!

[Alabasterlyn]

Just looked online, he's cleared out the bank account too.

The day is just getting better, isn't it!

Yikes that doesn't sound a very nice thing to do. I don't know your personal circumstances but I think you would be wise to get some legal advice. Good luck :hugs:

[Lindalou64]

IM SO SORRY BLUE TO HEAR YOUR SAD NEWS..I KNOW THE PAIN YOU FEEL ......MY HUSBAND LEFT BUT IN DIFFERENT WAY......BUT HE WAS STILL NOT THERE TO HOLD ME AND COMFORT ME AT MY TIME OF NEED......ANYTIME RATHER.......I DO WISH YOU PEACE...AND I DO HOPE THAT MAYBE HE WILL CALM DOWN AND YOU BOTH CAN TALK THINGS OUT.NEVER GIVE UP ON HOPE BLUE.........I FEEL FOR YA THO..KNOW THIS YOU HAVE US I HOPE THAT HELPS A LITTE ANYWAYS..........I WISH YA THE BEST HUN..........LINDA XXXX

[belle]

Not coping here.
Night times are horrible. I've had many nights alone when my husband was working away but i knew he was coming home, but now, he's never coming back.

[Slothette]

Bluebell

I know you have been going through tough things lately and this is the s****y icing on the cake.

There's nothing I can say to make you feel any better hun. Just look after your little lad as best you can. What I will say is that you need to get yourself sorted legally. I used to do some voluntary work for the Citizens Advice Bureaux. If you can't get out of the house then they will come out to your home. Give them a ring.

Keep your chin up and feel free to pm any time.

Lexxie xxx

[Karen]

(((Hugs))) Bluebell :hugs:

Night times are the worst when alone. I know they can be long and lonely. I feel for you right now and wish we could be there with you 'in person'. We are there with you in spirit.

You have many friends here Bluebell. Aim to get through each 5 minutes to the next hour and so on until the next day.

Thinking of you :hugs:

Karen xx

[Southern_Belle]

Dearest Bluebell,

I will try to put this as gently as I can. I know how much you love him, however, lately he was not a great husband to you. He abused you verbally and sometimes physically. I do undertand the pain you are going through but in the end, even though you can't see it now, he did both you and your son a favor. Do as others suggest regarding your money situation. It just shows what kind of man he is that he emptied out your account and has left his son and you without any money.

Think without your heart for a moment and with your head - do you really want to be with someone that would treat you this way? You can do so much better, you are worth it!

Massive :hugs:,

Laura

[kazzie]

Bluebell:hugs:

I know it dosent make your pain any easier but my husband left me with a 2 yr old baby 20 years ago!

I know you cant see the bigger picture and no one can blame you for that but things will get easier:hugs:

Have you tried the NMP chat room for the lonely times??

No substitute I know but a warm welcome and a shoulder await I can promise:)

Just explain to people how you feel and they will all chat and help you:hugs:

Take care sweetheart:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:flowers:

[belle]

Hi all..

Its 5.30am and i am WIDE awake, sobbing like a bloody baby. I can't sleep, i'm not hungry, my heart hurts and i am feel like my world has ended.

He was mean to me, but when he use to hold me, everything bad would melt away, thats gone and i have nothing. Its at times like these when i wish i had friends to come and see me, get me through bad times.

Life, the future just seems absolutely pointless. He IS the love of my life, that is why i put up with the crap that i did.

[belle]

Really cannot cope.

[jodie]

hi bluebell
i know there isnt much i can say to make you feel better i think the only thing that might make this better is time
but have some hugs from me hunny :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
try stay strong

jodie x

[bluesparkle]

hi bluebell...
my heart goes out to you...
like i said before i know how you feel..

i have my kids but i still need a hug! but you have everyone here and i would not have got through these last few weeks with out them...
just keep posting ...and read the replys for strength and re assurance
when people say it will get easier my question is yes ok but when ... BUT i know they are speaking the truth so i keep reading it and believing it...
im not very good at writing what i want to say but sometimes i feel really low... and blame myself but you must not in any way they are the ones who chose to walk away.
like others have said try to keep yourself busy... i know it feels like you dont want to or cant but try...
the pain hurts so much some times but we are lucky in that we have people here who care very much and who understand.
the up most important thing now is to look after you... when feeling sad its ok to cry...(god ive cried loads, not something i usually do)
you take care and like i said before if you want to pm me please do... if not just keep posting
rach

[belle]

Please someone help me. I am pacing the house crying. I can't stop. I want him here, with me, i CANNOT live/don't want to live without him in my life.

[Slothette]

Bluebell

Have you told your mum? Can she come and see you and give you some moral support?

Pm me if you want to chat. I can give you my msn messenger addy. I'm in most of the time (agora). If you feel you can't chat at the moment maybe when you're up to it. Keep posting and let us know you're ok.

Thinking of you.

Lexxie xxx

[eeyorelover]

Oh hun -
I know that it's hard but you have to start thinking of what to do next. Don't overwhelm yourself of course but you have to have a plan.
I know that you miss him loads and want him back but that isn't anything that you have control over at the moment. You do have control over getting affairs in order. I know there has to be a way to get cheap or free legal advice and that is probably where you should start.
I'm sending you (((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))) and I will be thinking positive thoughts for ya:hugs::hugs::hugs:

I am in the US so if you're up tonite and can't sleep - look for me here and I'll chat with ya:flowers:

xxx
Sandy

[Alabasterlyn]

Please someone help me. I am pacing the house crying. I can't stop. I want him here, with me, i CANNOT live/don't want to live without him in my life.

Hi Bluebell, I really really do feel for you and how you are feeling is exactly how anyone would feel when someone they love leaves them.

When my husband walked out on me I literally cried my heart out every day for a whole year. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through and even though as I said in an earlier post it was 20yrs ago I can still remember that feeling so clearly. You WILL be okay without him, not right now of course, but in time you really truly will find things get better.

I don't know your history with your husband, but it sounds like you did have some problems before and no matter how much you love someone if the relationship is dysfunctional then you will never be free from your anxiety.

I also had no one to talk to when I was in your situation and I would phone the Samaritans all the time as there was no one else who would listen to me. There are a lot of people on this forum and in the chat room that will help you through this. Trust in yourself that you can do it :hugs:

[belle]

I've have just spoken to him and he said there is absolutely NO chance of us being together. I am even more upset now. I was clinging onto some stupid idea that he MIGHT just deep down love me - but not.

I am sitting here, in an empty room.
If i vanish, who'd give a crap?
My boy would be better off with my sister, she can take him places, and my mum....i am just an inconvience to her. My father - wouldn't even notice i haven't seen him since goodness knows when anyway!!!! So there is nothing to stay around for.

[Southern_Belle]

Dear Bluebell,

Your little boy needs his mother. I suggest you call the Samaritans immediately. Think of how he would feel if you weren't around. You will get through this!!! Please call them and talk to them and write back what they said.

Love,

Laura

[Lindalou64]

I Agree With Bell Your Son Needs You My Husband Died I Know It Hurts To Lose The Ones We Love But I Also Knew I Had To Stay Strong For My Boys They Are A Giftand My Life.you Need To Speak With Someone And Try And Calm Down Hun This Is Just Makin Matters Worse For You........linda

[Karen]

Hi Buebell

I'm a bit late seeing this so I am sorry if none of it really applies now.

I wish I could be there is give you a big hug in person :hugs:

Your son would not be happier without you and I think you know that deep down.

This is a really difficult time and not the best time to make decisions. Is there anyone you can call? What about your mother? I know there are sometimes problems there.

What about calling your GP tomorrow or the CMHT and saying you need some support.

Keep going Bluebell. We are here. Keep talking to us and we will help you through - a little bit at a time.

Hope you are feeling a bit more settled :hugs:

Sorry I useless at relationship advice since I've never had one but I'm thinking of you :hugs:

Karen xx

[traciec39]

hi bluebell

i really hope you are feeling a little calmer today hunnie,

I feel very sad for you and your horrible situation babe, but your happiness doesnt depend on your husband being around babe, by the sounds of your other posts in the past your little boy is wonderful, and you must be strong for him. He must be devestated seing you so heart broken and he is feeling the same loss as you.

Darling i dont wish to seem harsh....but you will find strength for both yourself and your son, you just have to let a little time pass, eat, and give your son lots of kisses and cuddles xxx
take care sweet heart xxx

[jodie]

hi

thinking of you hope you are ok stay strong and give it time hunny

:hugs: :hugs:

jodie