Health Anxiety - between a rock and a hard place

[ChocolateButton]

*sighs* I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place right now. I don't know where to turn, even tried ringing the Samaritans (which is something I've never done before) but I just got a message saying they were busy and to try again later.

I thought after reading all the stuff on here, seeing how people spiral into Health Anxiety, I honestly thought it wouldn't happen to me. But all the medical stuff I'm going through right now just isn't going away - I'm still having tests, they still don't know whether I have cancer or not (it's a biopsy next) and I'm just so terrified and so fed up at the same time.

I feel like this is never ending, like I'm never going to be free of hospital appointments and consultants and waiting for tests then waiting for results of tests then thinking it's almost done and dusted and then finding I need more tests... and so the spiral goes on.

Things I thought I could stop worrying about have come back to the fore because of something I found online, now I'm just stuck in this spiral of "if I don't have an operation how do I really know there's nothing wrong" versus "if I do need the operation how do I know I'll survive it".

I feel so trapped, like my mind is jumping from one worry to another, I can't settle, it's making me ill (I've lost about 6kg through fretting and not eating) and I just don't know what to do.

If somebody could please help me put some perspective on all this I'd really be grateful.

[Emls78]

I’m so sorry you’re going through all that, I can understand how hard it must be for you, us HA sufferers worry about everything, but when the threat is real it must be so difficult. I’m probably no help to you but I wanted to say hi and let you know you’re not alone. I’ve undergone a lot of tests lately and the one thing my therapist taught me was to postpone the worry. She would tell me that whatever the outcome, worrying wasn’t going to change the outcome and to put my worry on hold for a set amount of time. So I would postpone worrying for an hour at a time, and in that hour try and distract my self with something that kept my mind occupied, then when it was time for me to worry I’d postpone it again for another hour etc. I don’t know if that’s any help to you but it did help me to a certain extent. Fingers crossed for you that you get some good news soon xx

[ChocolateButton]

I’m so sorry you’re going through all that, I can understand how hard it must be for you, us HA sufferers worry about everything, but when the threat is real it must be so difficult. I’m probably no help to you but I wanted to say hi and let you know you’re not alone. I’ve undergone a lot of tests lately and the one thing my therapist taught me was to postpone the worry. She would tell me that whatever the outcome, worrying wasn’t going to change the outcome and to put my worry on hold for a set amount of time. So I would postpone worrying for an hour at a time, and in that hour try and distract my self with something that kept my mind occupied, then when it was time for me to worry I’d postpone it again for another hour etc. I don’t know if that’s any help to you but it did help me to a certain extent. Fingers crossed for you that you get some good news soon xx

Thank you - just the fact that you've taken time to reply helps, as I'm sure you understand, because it makes me feel less alone.

What you say makes perfect sense, and its similar to what my husband always tells me - "don't worry until there's something to worry about". Unfortunately easier said than done though :unsure:

I do try to distract myself, with varying degrees of success, as sometimes the bad feelings just overwhelm me.

But thanks again, really. And sorry you've been undergoing tests too - hope everything is ok with you.

[pulisa]

This all blew up at the end of July though? Surely you would have been referred for a biopsy straight away if there was any urgency with your diagnosis? Are any of your doctors suggesting an exploratory op, CB?

[Anxiousamyj]

What were your test results from July or August? Honestly, I don't know your situation and it all seems really anxiety inducing, but what happened back then? Seems like there would be some urgent stuff going on if they did think it was cancer. I hope your anxiety is able to be called soon with some good test results and you can be free of this!

[ChocolateButton]

This all blew up at the end of July though? Surely you would have been referred for a biopsy straight away if there was any urgency with your diagnosis? Are any of your doctors suggesting an exploratory op, CB?

Since last September (approximately) I've been having consultations and tests for fibroids. It's ridiculous to think that it's been going that long, some of the waits between appointments have taken forever. :lac:


In late July I had an MRI to see if I was a candidate for Embolisation to reduce the fibroids. MRI showed a suspicious cyst/growth that they thought was on my ovary, so I had to have a full-body CT scan. Two weeks waiting for the scan, then another almost two weeks to get the results.

(So that's basically a month gone since they found the cyst).

These results showed that the cyst wasn't on my ovary at all but was in my abdomen. So they referred me to a Surgeon. This took several weeks to get an appointment.

The surgeon told me that normally they'd operate to remove it, but because I have underlying health condition, they are going to biopsy it instead, to avoid me having an operation if it isn't cancerous. So I was supposed to have a biopsy appointment within two weeks, but so far I haven't got an appointment so I doubt it's going to be within that time frame as the two weeks run out in a few days.

What gets me very anxious (on top of everything else!) is that it's alright for them to try to do everything in their two-week urgent referral process, but a two-week wait here, and a two-week wait there, and suddenly months go past and you realise you're no further forward in knowing if you have cancer or not. :shrug:

I'm shaking as I write this. I don't know how much more I can take, really.

---------- Post added at 17:50 ---------- Previous post was at 17:48 ----------


What were your test results from July or August? Honestly, I don't know your situation and it all seems really anxiety inducing, but what happened back then? Seems like there would be some urgent stuff going on if they did think it was cancer. I hope your anxiety is able to be called soon with some good test results and you can be free of this!

Thank you. Any bit of support right now helps.

[pulisa]

The waiting must be absolutely ghastly and totally unacceptable. Can you ring the surgeon's secretary to see if you can fix a date for the biopsy? 2 weeks means 2 weeks-your letter may have been lost in the post? I normally get a phone call from the hospital to arrange a date when I have a fast track test.

For your own sanity you just need to get that biopsy arranged and done asap xx

[Scass]

I’d absolutely be chasing for the appointment, it’s so awful to be kept waiting and waiting.
Perhaps when you chase you could also call your gp to ask for some support?


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[ChocolateButton]

The waiting must be absolutely ghastly and totally unacceptable. Can you ring the surgeon's secretary to see if you can fix a date for the biopsy? 2 weeks means 2 weeks-your letter may have been lost in the post? I normally get a phone call from the hospital to arrange a date when I have a fast track test.

For your own sanity you just need to get that biopsy arranged and done asap xx



I’d absolutely be chasing for the appointment, it’s so awful to be kept waiting and waiting.
Perhaps when you chase you could also call your gp to ask for some support?


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Thanks - I agree it's unacceptable; I'm absolutely sick and tired of waiting and waiting with the NHS. I rang the secretary; apparently I'm "on the list" but they don't have a date for me yet and can't tell me how long it's going to be. :mad: So the two weeks was... well, irrelevant, I guess.

Damn it, it's supposed to be urgent, this could be cancer for crying out loud! (Sorry to vent).

The secretary told me the consultant and the radiologist are looking at my scans to determine how best to do the biopsy. Surely they don't need all this time to do that?! (Yeah, I know they have lots of other patients too, but still).

Thanks always for taking time to reply, it really helps.


What angers me also, is that it's all these delays and waiting that have given me Health Anxiety. I never used to suffer from it before all this started.