View Full Version : False ocd thoughts
I have been battling these for weeks now
Few examples:
* I get a thought I pooped myself or peed myself
*I get a clean towel for a shower and I have to take another as I get a thought saying it’s dirty.
*Some food from the supermarket fridge was wet and I also bought shampoo to my head said don’t eat it shampoo leaked.
*Thoughts im not clean after going to toilet.
*I take a clean top and get ocd thought that it’s dirty
*Thouhts I’ve not washed my hands even right after washing
*Thoughts the world isn’t real.
Sometimes the thoughts in the past were so powerful I would cross the road and worry I was run down?
How can I tackle these thoughts? So far therapy ain’t working. The thoughts just distress me more and I can play out a whole situation in my head and almost believe it. I can make myself 90% sure a top was dirty.
Right now I battle these ocd thoughts daily and worry nobody else’s life is real. The ocd is quite powerful and controlling right now.
I reckon I will give up on therapy soon spend hundreds of pounds with zero results all that’s happening is worse ocd pattens are developing. I’ve stopped my ocd replacing but instead I’m dealing with these false thoughts instead? :huh:
Your head is full of negativity towards your progress. You think you’re not improving but you are, you think you can’t afford it, but you can. You’re adding more anxiety by worrying about your progress, your wedding, your honeymoon.
Try adding some positivity, congratulate yourself on the compulsions that you have managed to ignore and you’ve had no negative effects from.
Continue to ignore the new compulsions, rationalise your response, argue with your ocd compulsions. You know you don’t need a new towel, you know you’re clean, you know these thoughts are just negative thoughts, they aren’t real. Tell them to bog off.
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"Bog off" !! That's a great one for contamination issues!!:D
Nowt like a bit of humour when you're challenging your OCD, Phil!
MyNameIsTerry
28-09-18, 10:31
"Bog off" !! That's a great one for contamination issues!!:D
Nowt like a bit of humour when you're challenging your OCD, Phil!
And "kiss my ass", a step on the exposure hierarchy :biggrin:
I’ve had more ocd thoughts that I pooped myself and want to thrown my clothes away. I get the thought when I go to the toilet before I shower and I wipe my backside it was clean but I worry it wasn’t so my ocd makes me want to chuck clothes away anyone help?
MRS STRESS ED
02-10-18, 22:21
ermm dont wear clothes :D
ermm dont wear clothes :D
I get these thoughts when I take clothes off and take a shower I go to the toilet and do it and worry I pooped myself and next I want to toss my clothes away :ohmy:
MRS STRESS ED
02-10-18, 23:03
ocd is a horrible thing l to suffer from it l have to fight my demons everything day, as you know you need to kick it up the arse as its going to totally consume your life xx
Best wishes
MyNameIsTerry
03-10-18, 01:32
ermm dont wear clothes :D
You would get struck off if you were a therapist :winks::roflmao:
I tried delaying response but that never worked I threw them away. There was a pile of other dirty washing I want to toss the whole lot but I resisted my head says “if I wash them and put my phone or wallet in the pocket they will be dirty and the sofa too” so I gave in.
She has started some exposure therapy however she tried get me to reduce hand washing, delay too and now she’s moved on to writing down how many thoughts I get. She seems to try something new each month.
She says my ocd is severe so I think that’s why she is trying different tactics because rather than obsessively clean I throw away and replace stuff so it’s an expensive habit and causing me lots of stress.
what else can I do to beat this?
MRS STRESS ED
03-10-18, 22:37
You would get struck off if you were a therapist :winks::roflmao:
hehehe just as well im not then Terry :yesyes:
I still have thoughts I pooped myself after each toilet trip so throwing those jeans away wasn’t the best idea
I don’t know what’s causing these thoughts but I have to try not throw away clothes. I wiped my backside for ten mins last night before I pooped and the thoughts still came today :doh:
I sometimes think i peed myself too but this is the worst I have felt with the toilet worry. I always wipe myself before I do the toilet due to ocd anyway but this new “doubt” is causing lots of intrusive thoughts.
I did some research on this and false memory ocd fits in with what I have. I have these false thoughts and make stuff up in my head
Has anybody got any experience of challenging and dealing with this sort of ocd?
Phil you have had pages and pages of suggestions on your other threads.
Did you follow up the links that were posted?
Elen
I have had awful thoughts that the shirts I got for my wedding are dirty as I had a thought I peed myself also I had thoughts my whole house is contaminated by the toilet brush and plunger as I had the thought I ran round the house with it that’s how controlling these thoughts are?
But they are thoughts, not facts. You only give them strength if you worry about them or act on them. And you know you didn’t do those things, so cross them off your list.
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MyNameIsTerry
13-03-19, 15:50
I did some research on this and false memory ocd fits in with what I have. I have these false thoughts and make stuff up in my head
Has anybody got any experience of challenging and dealing with this sort of ocd?
Yes, and there will be many of us. It's much the same as tackling other areas of OCD with counter evidence, reframing conclusions and learning to not give importance to thoughts so as to let them fade without strong negative reactions to them.
I’m still battling these thoughts
The issue where I feel i ran round the house with a toilet brush. My hand washing is severe becuase I always think I put my hands down a toilet so I have to wash them.
I still avoid some shops as I fear dirty laundry germs when I changed clothes one day. I refuse to buy a watch or shoes from the shops I bought my old ones from in fear it’s the same item? Sounds crazy but those shoes I tossed months ago when dirty washing fell on it I won’t buy from that shop well I tell a lie I will buy trainers but not shoes. I have an ocd with going out shoes too I won’t store them at the front door as my head says “dirty washing could pass by them” so I have to store them upstairs and I know I will still worry.
So what I’m saying I have these crippling routines the existance thoughts trouble me too. I don’t have as bad as urge to replace stuff but I do have an urge to throw stuff away for example a t shirt I wore I worried that when I did the toilet poo got on it so I want to dispose of it .
Each day I start the day with 5/6 worries by mid day I obviously need some more help with this. The crazy thing is how can the shoes be the same ones if I buy from that shop? 90% of my ocd makes no sense It just feels crippling like my whole life is dictated and bossed by ocd?
What are you doing to try and fight against the thoughts?
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What are you doing to try and fight against the thoughts?
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Being honest nothing I just sit and suffer
Being honest nothing I just sit and suffer
I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you be honest about it.
It’s really hard, I do know that. But perhaps it’s time to get some help for yourself? If you don’t feel that you can explain it properly to your GP, could you write it down and show them?
Have you started back with your therapist?
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I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you be honest about it.
It’s really hard, I do know that. But perhaps it’s time to get some help for yourself? If you don’t feel that you can explain it properly to your GP, could you write it down and show them?
Have you started back with your therapist?
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Well I have around 8/9 sessions of thearpy and it stopped as she felt I had all the tools to get better she seemed to think I was better becuase at the time of my last session I was having a good week.
I had stopped therapy and did go back again for a few more but as she no longer wants to see me I would have to find an alternative therapist it’s something I will consider after my wedding in 4 months as it’s another expense at the moment. The gp won’t offer me any Cbt so it would be private again.
But what is your GP doing for you? Your anxiety seems to be quite bad and I refuse to believe they are just saying there’s nothing they can do
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Today I have been tormented becuase I had a thought I touched the toilet brush and I carried on and did the dusting and never let it beat me. Tonight I worried my socks hit the toilet brush I Duno how I mean I have a toilet paper holder close by so maybe by feet hit that but worried my whole house is dirty I mean I thought why go for a shower I have already walked over the floor so again atleast I never showered but I have been tormented by these thoughts the toilet brush is my biggest fear at the moment.
Also if I did hit the toilet brush I would have had to have pushed my foot right under the sink so I would have had to do something unnatural
Distract yourself, use relaxation techniques or mindfulness and move on. Repeat, repeat and keep on repeating until it works.
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My partner cleaned the washing machine and caused a major stress. She put kitchen roll in the bin whilst holding a bit of the plastic inlays that goes on the machine. It may have been her other hand but I fear my clothes having bin germs so we are no longer talking. She can’t be trusted I can’t afford a new machine to replace it I will now worry as I tend to do. She can’t be trusted so I feel annoyed about getting married I am annoyed I never cleaned it myself to avoid this hassle. Nobody can reassure me my clothes will be clean becuase she has stressed now and they won’t be clean.
I hope you’ve calmed down over this now Phil? It’s very interesting how you say that she can’t be trusted, and also very sad. I hope you’ve both sorted it out.
In an ideal world There is no contamination and she shouldn’t have to be subjected to such extreme questions and behaviours. But this is your world and you’re going to have to find a way past this without a)splitting up b) buying a new washing machine. How do you think you can do this?
Quite honestly if my partner cleaned the washing machine I’d be so happy I’d probably propose!
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You have lost control and are furious with your partner for breaking your rules. This is your problem not her "mistake". She has left you vulnerable to your contamination issues and you can't cope with this.
She will continue to make "mistakes" though (according to your reasoning) as your OCD gets stronger and stronger. Is this any way to start a marriage?
My partner cleaned the washing machine and caused a major stress. She put kitchen roll in the bin whilst holding a bit of the plastic inlays that goes on the machine. It may have been her other hand but I fear my clothes having bin germs so we are no longer talking. She can’t be trusted I can’t afford a new machine to replace it I will now worry as I tend to do. She can’t be trusted so I feel annoyed about getting married I am annoyed I never cleaned it myself to avoid this hassle. Nobody can reassure me my clothes will be clean becuase she has stressed now and they won’t be clean.
So your "contamination" OCD hasn't loosened its grip on you and perhaps only took a back seat position whilst you were temporarily distracted by Stag Night worries.
Your partner needs to understand just how severely your OCD affects you, but you also need to accept that she can't be walking on eggshells afraid to make a mistake and trigger your OCD. As Pul says, this is no way to start a marriage, and I think you both need to seriously consider your future together before taking your vows.
Yes going back to an earlier worry about the chair in the end I got rid of the chair on the local paper free to collect as I worried it went in bathroom next to dirty laundry.
I have not replaced the washing machine yet because I fear it coming in the house and going near bins that’s why I have not immediately replaced it. People never said why these bin germs don’t need replacing stuff? Bins ain’t clean when something is new it’s unlikey to have have had bin germs on it but these circumstances mean it could. At my mums house she touches bins all the time.
So yes to sum up I have not got rid of the washing machine yet but it’s holding some water in the powder compartment so I may replace it I Duno what I shall do.
I wont rule out more thearpy. I am not happy with my partner touching the bin but as she doesn’t have ocd there is always the odd issue that crops up
Part of sharing your life with somebody is compromise, Phil, even on the big scary stuff such as anxiety disorders. Obviously your fiancée won't want to upset you, and that's absolutely right and proper. However, you also have a responsibility to accept when your OCD fears make you behave in irrational ways. If you don't want to be a controlling, abusive partner, sometimes you'll have to live with that fear even though it feels like the worst thing in the world.
Part of sharing your life with somebody is compromise, Phil, even on the big scary stuff such as anxiety disorders. Obviously your fiancée won't want to upset you, and that's absolutely right and proper. However, you also have a responsibility to accept when your OCD fears make you behave in irrational ways. If you don't want to be a controlling, abusive partner, sometimes you'll have to live with that fear even though it feels like the worst thing in the world.
Great post.
Phil, I’m glad you’ve calmed down a bit.
Yes, bins have germs. So do sinks, people, door handles and animals. You can not control germs but you can control your reaction even if you think you can’t.
I’ve noticed my family lifting our bin lid with their hands instead of using the pedal. So I just make sure that I keep the lid clean, I can’t police them all the time, and I’m certainly not going to replace everything they touch.
Don’t find an excuse to replace your washing machine, it’s not got bin germs on it, and even for one second if it did. They are gone now.
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I should imagine that "the odd issue" is somewhat of an understatement. Would you have preferred your partner to have OCD as well?
Phil I think that it is time to take responsibility for your reactions rather than blaming your partner or other members of your family.
The problem is not that they are not to be trusted, the problem is your overreaction and indeed the false thoughts that you have.
I have no idea on the best way for you to get help but you certainly need something to break down these fears.
As others have said it would probably be a very good idea to sit down and talk to your partner about things before going forward with the wedding.
Lack of trust is no basis for a marriage.
Going back to the responsibility thing lately I have went through spells of solipsism, lack of free will, worry my mind is controlled so I blame this and sometimes put the responsibility on the anxiety or if my mind is controlled it wouldn’t matter anyway nothing I can do will change that. Or if nobody feels real it’s hard to think of anybody else’s feelings.
I just wanted to add that I am gong throng this, contamination and wedding stress do it’s quite difficult.
Are you able to think of your partner's feelings though? Do you feel the need to think of how your behaviours are affecting her? If she were to challenge your OCD and refuse to tolerate your reactions to it what would you do? I suspect she is compliant which suits you but there will come a time when she has had enough of being controlled.
I live in this situation myself and it's not easy challenging OCD and keeping things ticking over without causing a meltdown.
She needs to know the full extent of your difficulties before the wedding. Don't be in denial over this-that's the easy option.
She definitely knows the full extent of my ocd she doesn’t get the ocd much but yes if you live with someone they sure do know how it affects you.
My ocd makes me think I have run round the house with a toilet brush and nobody else is real that’s what my ocd says
And what do you think?
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She definitely knows the full extent of my ocd she doesn’t get the ocd much but yes if you live with someone they sure do know how it affects you.
Do you ever think how your OCD affects her? Or maybe it doesn't bother you as you don't think she is real?
I need to discuss my ocd today and wonder why it’s got worse.
An example today I did the toilet and I wiped my backside and I went in shower. I wouldn’t touch toilet paper to wipe it more becuase I worried I would make it more dirty. So instead I went in shower and came back out and got a towel and wiped once more. My ocd says that’s what I did In my old house but not 100% true becuase basically I would have wet towels and stand on the floor and bits of toilet paper hit them so they were infact more dirty. So anyway the issue is even if I did a compulsion to shower again it would make no odds I would worry even more.
For years doing compulsions gave relief in the past six months due to the severity f the ocd the compulsions fuel worse ocd and make worry more I still don’t understand why for years the compulsions gave mild relief and now it stopped working? The relief atleast kept me off message boards but now no matter what I do the ocd will control me. Again I worried about my sock touching the toilet brush a few weeks back I worried for days I had and I forgot it but changing socks wouldn’t have made any odds those compulsions no longer work.
Anyway today’s issue it’s a combination of a compulsion changing the towel and a false thought it’s not often both come at one time. Do I challenge the thought? Ignore the thought? Distract myself? Write it down? Some how dismiss it. I said before I am able to sort of let go of false thoughts more as I know they are false. People say they are all false no if you touch a bin the germs would be there so for me a hand wash will always be required I don’t wish to change this.
So what can I do? These thoughts happen daily at the moment I am constantly suffering high anxiety due to an ocd thought which takes over my day. The good news is atleast it moves onto another thought it can be worse when the same one lasts months.
I have tried ignoring the thoughts it can work for a bit but not long term. Writing it down doesn’t help. Challenging them yes but this can help slightly. Reducing my over all anxiety has a much better effect but it’s like sitting a therory test for driving it requires hours of relexation and reading of anxiety and how it works and why you don’t let it control you. But it does work.
But I ask for help becuase my compulsions are failing. I am at a stage I don’t even try to do them shower more replace as I said perhaps that’s good but it’s not becuase I am better it’s becuase by doing that compulsion my ocd can double. So yes why did the relief come from doing the compulsion and it suddenly stopped? Is this due to the ocd going from mild to severe?
Do you ever think how your OCD affects her? Or maybe it doesn't bother you as you don't think she is real?
I can’t comment really as I haven’t thought about how ocd affects others its a condition I feel I suffer alone
I can’t comment really as I haven’t thought about how ocd affects others its a condition I feel I suffer alone
Do you not see how your behaviour might distress your fiancée, though, or cause you to mistreat her?
Do you not see how your behaviour might distress your fiancée, though, or cause you to mistreat her?
No I wouldn’t say ocd distresses anyone it’s a common issue I believe many celebs suffer it too. People keep going on about my partner but there’s nothing going on here over than I suffer the ocd
Sorry, Phil, but I think you're kidding yourself. If nothing else, do you not think it would upset her to see you upset?
Besides, you've said yourself that your OCD has made you angry with her when she's done something that triggered you.
Sorry, Phil, but I think you're kidding yourself. If nothing else, do you not think it would upset her to see you upset?
Besides, you've said yourself that your OCD has made you angry with her when she's done something that triggered you.
Yes but I don’t talk about the ocd daily. And it doesn’t upset me too much the ocd is a pain but I don’t get upset over it.
MyNameIsTerry
02-04-19, 02:41
No I wouldn’t say ocd distresses anyone it’s a common issue I believe many celebs suffer it too. People keep going on about my partner but there’s nothing going on here over than I suffer the ocd
Ah yes, those celebs...many of whom don't know the difference between being house proud and having a debilitating mental health disorder. Some of them do understand, most I see talk about think it's like the old stereotypes and even claim it makes them better at their jobs :doh:
I'm not sure what you mean by doesn't distress people? Do you mean they hide it from the outsider so it doesn't distress them? If so, I agree to an extent but the behaviours we have do stop us living a more normal way and that causes problems just like anything can in a relationship whether it's a kink of personality or something else.
Sorry, Phil, but I think you're kidding yourself. If nothing else, do you not think it would upset her to see you upset?
Besides, you've said yourself that your OCD has made you angry with her when she's done something that triggered you.
Phil I have to agree with this. From earlier on on this thread
My partner cleaned the washing machine and caused a major stress. She put kitchen roll in the bin whilst holding a bit of the plastic inlays that goes on the machine. It may have been her other hand but I fear my clothes having bin germs so we are no longer talking. She can’t be trusted I can’t afford a new machine to replace it I will now worry as I tend to do. She can’t be trusted so I feel annoyed about getting married I am annoyed I never cleaned it myself to avoid this hassle. Nobody can reassure me my clothes will be clean becuase she has stressed now and they won’t be clean.
You went through the same accusing your Mum about the bin as well.
Your OCD makes you distrust those around you, that has to have a negative effect on those relationships
So the situation today is I touched the towel rail and I touched a tiny bit of my phone and drawer handle I don’t feel ready to touch the whole phone or every surface after a towel has been placed there. I tried to challenge the thoughts but I am struggling I mean I did nothing different other than wipe my backside but that was after I put the towel back so I don’t understand why my head is fixated on this? The thought pops into my head “the towel rail is as dirty as my old bathroom” and then I worry about dirty laundry germs simply becuase I had these thoughts again there is no evidence to them it’s a thought I had and my head buys into some how it can be dirty despite it not being possible? How can I fix this?
I thought by touching a small bit of my phone atleastthe ocd can’t fully win.
I think its worth noting that this has been an ongoing issue to various degrees for more than 13 years. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?16020-Feeling-depressed-and-anxious) There are literally 30 pages worth of threads where the same questions are asked. IMO, this should be the only reply at this point.
How can I fix this?
Real life professional help.
Positive thoughts
So the situation today is I touched the towel rail and I touched a tiny bit of my phone and drawer handle I don’t feel ready to touch the whole phone or every surface after a towel has been placed there. I tried to challenge the thoughts but I am struggling I mean I did nothing different other than wipe my backside but that was after I put the towel back so I don’t understand why my head is fixated on this? The thought pops into my head “the towel rail is as dirty as my old bathroom” and then I worry about dirty laundry germs simply becuase I had these thoughts again there is no evidence to them it’s a thought I had and my head buys into some how it can be dirty despite it not being possible? How can I fix this?
I thought by touching a small bit of my phone atleastthe ocd can’t fully win.
You are C&P-ing posts from another OCD forum here, hence the different font. You have some excellent advice on that forum (not to mention here) which you're NOT acknowledging. You're simply ruminating :lac:
And as one member there pointed out: "Maybe you have to hit rock bottom before you act".
MyNameIsTerry
02-04-19, 16:13
Phil I have to agree with this. From earlier on on this thread
You went through the same accusing your Mum about the bin as well.
Your OCD makes you distrust those around you, that has to have a negative effect on those relationships
And we might remember on another thread where it was mentioned kids would be a no go because of their impact on the OCD.
I understand this because as an avoided I have impacted on people around me because my anxiety wants me to hide away from planet earth. It's not as simple as saying we need to always ensure we don't impact on others because we will anyway, but we do have to try.
It's not as simple as saying we need to always ensure we don't impact on others because we will anyway, but we do have to try.
Exactly. I've lost friends I'd rather not have done because of my anxiety. I try to make my mantra my neurosis is not your problem, but when the fear's rampaging like a forest fire, it's very hard to keep it completely hidden.
I think the best we can do is acknowledge our weakness and unreasonable behaviour, and ask our loved ones to forgive us for it.
So it's all about you and you have never questioned why other people are worried about your partner?
There is obviously cause for concern but you can't appreciate this because you are the one who has OCD?
So it's all about you and you have never questioned why other people are worried about your partner?
There is obviously cause for concern but you can't appreciate this because you are the one who has OCD?
Nobody is worried about my partner. It seems becuase I was annoyed at her touching a bin all the focus is on that.
That was one issue I come here for my issues I’m the one suffering everybody else is well and fine.
This would be because you said yourself that you behaved abusively towards her.
Whether you realise it or not, your anxiety disorder is causing you to behave badly towards her. I'm sorry, but I've been on the receiving end of abuse from a controlling partner and your attitude frightens the life out of me.
This would be because you said yourself that you behaved abusively towards her.
Whether you realise it or not, your anxiety disorder is causing you to behave badly towards her. I'm sorry, but I've been on the receiving end of abuse from a controlling partner and your attitude frightens the life out of me.
Excuse me I am not abusive or controlling nobody on here has a clue and I am sorry but I won’t be engaging anymore in this discussion and I will be requesting this topic is closed.
I come here for help not to be told I’m controlling.
Excuse me I am not abusive or controlling nobody on here has a clue and I am sorry but I won’t be engaging anymore in this discussion and I will be requesting this topic is closed.
I come here for help not to be told I’m controlling.
Excuse me? Seriously Phil? I've read your threads for over 5 years and like many others, you have a knack for drawing people in and getting food for your dragon. What's most interesting, and I've seen this pattern repeated here, is that when seriously challenged, the irrationality goes out the window and the reply is straight forward and totally comprehensive. As I said previously and as usual, my post was totally ignored, I think its worth noting that this has been an ongoing issue to various degrees for more than 13 years. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?16020-Feeling-depressed-and-anxious) There are literally 30 pages worth of threads where the same questions are asked.
I agree, close this and your other topics and seek yet again, real life help. Its quite apparent that 13 years of virtual help has done nothing to help at all!
I truly wish you peace as I cannot begin to imagine living inside your mind.
Positive thoughts
nomorepanic
02-04-19, 23:41
You can close your own posts Phil but that would be a shame as people have tried so hard to help you and have been very patient along the way.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-19, 02:03
You can close your own posts Phil but that would be a shame as people have tried so hard to help you and have been very patient along the way.
How do we do that? I can't see a close thread option against mine and we've not had permission to close threads before the upgrade. We can delete them, as before, but that would be a greater shame.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-19, 02:05
This would be because you said yourself that you behaved abusively towards her.
Whether you realise it or not, your anxiety disorder is causing you to behave badly towards her. I'm sorry, but I've been on the receiving end of abuse from a controlling partner and your attitude frightens the life out of me.
No, he said he was annoyed by her. Everyone gets annoyed with each other but that's not abuse. He didn't really explain what happened and how they dealt with it.
Phil's OCD may or may not influence her in ways but we know nothing of this and I can't say in all my time reading his posts I've seen how he attempts to control her life.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-19, 02:08
Nobody is worried about my partner. It seems becuase I was annoyed at her touching a bin all the focus is on that.
That was one issue I come here for my issues I’m the one suffering everybody else is well and fine.
Phil, I don't see how you can say you stop it from affecting people to be honest. It's hard to keep every bit of stress inside all the time and no human beings, well maybe some Buddhist monks, manage it.
At an absolute minimum the financial side impacts on her too when sharing. She may see you are frustrated and that impacts on her too.
It's just life with someone with mental health problems as it is life with someone with physical problems. But then those without either have their ups & downs.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-19, 02:09
Exactly. I've lost friends I'd rather not have done because of my anxiety. I try to make my mantra my neurosis is not your problem, but when the fear's rampaging like a forest fire, it's very hard to keep it completely hidden.
I think the best we can do is acknowledge our weakness and unreasonable behaviour, and ask our loved ones to forgive us for it.
I agree. I've told people to walk away from me if it's not what they want and I would be fine with that as it's not their fault I've had breakdowns.
It cost me my friends, career, etc.
MyNameIsTerry
03-04-19, 02:13
I need to discuss my ocd today and wonder why it’s got worse.
An example today I did the toilet and I wiped my backside and I went in shower. I wouldn’t touch toilet paper to wipe it more becuase I worried I would make it more dirty. So instead I went in shower and came back out and got a towel and wiped once more. My ocd says that’s what I did In my old house but not 100% true becuase basically I would have wet towels and stand on the floor and bits of toilet paper hit them so they were infact more dirty. So anyway the issue is even if I did a compulsion to shower again it would make no odds I would worry even more.
For years doing compulsions gave relief in the past six months due to the severity f the ocd the compulsions fuel worse ocd and make worry more I still don’t understand why for years the compulsions gave mild relief and now it stopped working? The relief atleast kept me off message boards but now no matter what I do the ocd will control me. Again I worried about my sock touching the toilet brush a few weeks back I worried for days I had and I forgot it but changing socks wouldn’t have made any odds those compulsions no longer work.
Anyway today’s issue it’s a combination of a compulsion changing the towel and a false thought it’s not often both come at one time. Do I challenge the thought? Ignore the thought? Distract myself? Write it down? Some how dismiss it. I said before I am able to sort of let go of false thoughts more as I know they are false. People say they are all false no if you touch a bin the germs would be there so for me a hand wash will always be required I don’t wish to change this.
So what can I do? These thoughts happen daily at the moment I am constantly suffering high anxiety due to an ocd thought which takes over my day. The good news is atleast it moves onto another thought it can be worse when the same one lasts months.
I have tried ignoring the thoughts it can work for a bit but not long term. Writing it down doesn’t help. Challenging them yes but this can help slightly. Reducing my over all anxiety has a much better effect but it’s like sitting a therory test for driving it requires hours of relexation and reading of anxiety and how it works and why you don’t let it control you. But it does work.
But I ask for help becuase my compulsions are failing. I am at a stage I don’t even try to do them shower more replace as I said perhaps that’s good but it’s not becuase I am better it’s becuase by doing that compulsion my ocd can double. So yes why did the relief come from doing the compulsion and it suddenly stopped? Is this due to the ocd going from mild to severe?
BIB - We've explained why this is not helping you. You have started to reach points where the relief of compulsions is lost. But what you have to accept, at least yourself if not to others, is that not working on compulsions means allowing things to continue. I understand it, confronting anxiety is hard and time isn't always the way to judge things as some spend years & years trying to find what works as it's not as simple as meds & therapy for many reasons BUT you won't find a medical professional anywhere saying compulsions are good. They will tell you to work on stopping them.
Do you accept that? If not, you have a denial battle to get through first.
I am struggling today last night a piece of tissue fell down side of toilet I picked it up and worried I hit the toilet plunger despite it being on the opposite side. My ocd is worrying if I bin it I will worry the floor is dirty and I will worry bin is even more dirty? If I was it I will worry the washing machine has toilet plunger germs in it and all my clothes will be dirty? What can I do? Either option will cause me anxiety
I can’t bear this anxiety people are right it will get worse becuase I worry every surface has toilet plunger water germs and I will constantly feel dirty and awful. Yes my trousers may not have touched the plunger but it doesn’t matter my anxiety will go on this journey anyway.
I am struggling today last night a piece of tissue fell down side of toilet I picked it up and worried I hit the toilet plunger despite it being on the opposite side. My ocd is worrying if I bin it I will worry the floor is dirty and I will worry bin is even more dirty? If I was it I will worry the washing machine has toilet plunger germs in it and all my clothes will be dirty? What can I do? Either option will cause me anxiety
I can’t bear this anxiety people are right it will get worse becuase I worry every surface has toilet plunger water germs and I will constantly feel dirty and awful. Yes my trousers may not have touched the plunger but it doesn’t matter my anxiety will go on this journey anyway.
Excuse me? Seriously Phil? I've read your threads for over 5 years and like many others, you have a knack for drawing people in and getting food for your dragon. What's most interesting, and I've seen this pattern repeated here, is that when seriously challenged, the irrationality goes out the window and the reply is straight forward and totally comprehensive. As I said previously and as usual, my post was totally ignored, I think its worth noting that this has been an ongoing issue to various degrees for more than 13 years. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?16020-Feeling-depressed-and-anxious) There are literally 30 pages worth of threads where the same questions are asked.
I agree, close this and your other topics and seek yet again, real life help. Its quite apparent that 13 years of virtual help has done nothing to help at all!
I truly wish you peace as I cannot begin to imagine living inside your mind.
Positive thoughts
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