Sick of Anxiety. [Archive]

ScaredAsHeck

27-09-18, 21:40

Is anyone else sick of their anxiety? Seriously, I’m sick of thinking there’s something with with me. I’m sick of worrying everyday. I want to go outside and enjoy my life without a care in the world. Literally every single day I think there’s something wrong with me and I act so restricted and am scared to go out.

My anxiety has gotten to the point where now I think I’m beginning to develop a fear of driving. Now I’m not driving as far as I used to and it’s pissing me off. I feel I’m always on fight or flight for no reason, worrying when the next attack will happen. Last night I had 4-5 hours of sleep and I’m thinking what if My heart is damaged, yada yada, see how ridiculous I’m thinking?. This morning I was researching magnesium deficiency like mad and convinced myself again that I had one. So I drove to buy some supps but turned back home halfway there because I got anxious all of a sudden. I feel trapped but I don’t want to be.

I don’t know happened to me. It’s like my life went from chill and great to chaos. I’m mad because I missed out on so much these past 2 and a half months because of my anxiety. I’m not enjoying the things I used to because I’m always wondering when my heart will act up or what new thing I’ll self diagnose myself with. Tried therapists but I’m tired of them. I’m tired of going to the ER and urgent care. I’m tired of going to see a doctor when I have a skipped beat or feel funny. I just want to snap my fingers and have all this anxiety and worry vanish.

Btw I’m not depressed nor have I ever had self harming thoughts. I’m just frustrated. Consciously I know my Anxiety is silly and irrational yet why can’t I fully convince my subconscious? Im ready for a fight to end this anxiety. I want my old self back.

ErinKC

27-09-18, 22:10

I could have written this. I woke up at 3:30 this morning in a panic and just got enraged and sad at the same time about how it's affecting my life. I've have anxiety on and off since my daughter was born 4 years ago. I have a lot more good times than bad, but the bad are so bad and the good have never actually been anywhere close to how I used to feel. When I got pregnant back in 2013 I was in the best shape of my life, had a great job, friends, hobbies, etc... I had all these thoughts about how I would be as a mother, etc... then after my daughter was born I developed horrible postpartum anxiety. I quit my job because I couldn't handle the idea of being gone all day. My anxiety became completely focused on a fear of dying and missing out on my daughter's life. What's so, so, so depressing to me is that all this time my ANXIETY is what's making me miss out on her life. I'm so goddamn sick of it. I booked an appt with a new therapist closer to home and will see her on Monday, so hopefully she's a good fit. Therapy has actually been very useful to me, but I don't go consistently enough. I have also sent a message to my doctor that I want to discuss medication. I'm just SO SICK OF THIS.

punkprincess19

27-09-18, 23:40

ScaredAsHeck

28-09-18, 02:54

Do you get a lot of skipped heart beats? I’m currently lay in bed, was trying to get to sleep and I’ve started having loads of skipped beats. I’m scared and super anxious now and I don’t know what to do!

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Yeah sometimes. I’ve felt all sorts of stuff with my heart. Been tested with just about every heart test out there and nothing, on top of a crap load of ekg’s too. Nada. Healthy as can be yet I don’t feel like it. Lately I’ve been having what feels like forceful beats, I notice the more I pay attention to them the more they happen.

punkprincess19

30-09-18, 17:47

Yeah sometimes. I’ve felt all sorts of stuff with my heart. Been tested with just about every heart test out there and nothing, on top of a crap load of ekg’s too. Nada. Healthy as can be yet I don’t feel like it. Lately I’ve been having what feels like forceful beats, I notice the more I pay attention to them the more they happen.

So what have they said it is that you are feeling? I’ve had to book myself in to see a cardiologist, I can’t carry on like this, I need to know what is going on and if I go through my doctor I will wait ages for referral or tests so I’m going to pay for them privately and get some answers. I’m fed up of living my life scared of what the symptoms mean. I’m so scared all the time that I’m going to die, it’s awful!

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Crevan

01-10-18, 06:38

Very! Just a few short months ago I was able to go outside and enjoy life, now Im afraid something is always waiting around the corner to strike. I have no idea what caused this fear to spike. I've always had mild anxiety and some health anxiety scares, but I'd panic for a day and not have an episode again for weeks or months... now it's every day, all day to at least some degree :( I used to live life with so few, and mostly normal worries. I want that life back.