Anxiety ruining my life.

[ScaredAsHeck]

Can’t take this anymore. I hate anxiety and wish it was never a thing, it’s the most disgusting horrendous thing anyone can have, in my opinion. My life is slowly being consumed. I’m always concentrating on my heart beat and it’s bothering me and always sends me into a state of panic.

My anxiety has been around since July and it’s horrible. You think I make making threads on anxiety forums, bothering you guys? No way, but I can’t help it. I feel so embarrassed and angry at myself.

In these three months anxiety has taken so much from me, I couldn’t enjoy my birthday, I couldn’t enjoy the cruise I went on back in August, I can’t enjoy driving my fast car anymore because my heart literally pounds like a drum when I drive now which is making me become agoraphobic, I can’t even enjoy this new community me and my family moved into, The Gym was my 2nd home and working out was my life...now I don’t even do that anymore. I don’t enjoy thunderstorms anymore because now I’m becoming astraphobic as well and my anxiety acts up when the clouds get dark and it starts thundering. Anything thats loud scares me now, even cars and motorcycles, and I’m a huge car enthusiast. I feel like my world is getting smaller and smaller. I wake up with a racing heart, either at midnight or in the morning. Why is this happening?, I’m so sick of self diagnosing, I just want to be me again and forget I ever went through this.

For once I just want to go one day without anxiety, without the need to check my pulse or worry about the weather.

I’m sorry but there’s no way anyone has a complex case like mine, I don’t say that with arrogance. I wish my health anxiety was over a lump, or a sore throat, or a small cut. I have like 20 different things going on with me since July.

Also google, STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE.

[ErinKC]

Anxiety is heinous. Have you spoken with anyone about it - your primary care doctor or a therapist?

After my daughter was born 4 years ago I fell into horrific postpartum anxiety. It slowly built over many months until I was completely debilitated around 7 months postpartum. I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. My mom had to come stay with me for weeks at a time. I would cry from the moment I woke until the day ended. I went to doctor after doctor - I though I had lung cancer, blood clots, skin cancer, ovarian cancer, brain tumors, heart disease, kidney failure, liver disease. I went to an allergist because I was sure I was no allergic to multiple things and would die of anaphylactic shock while home alone with my daughter. I imagine us getting hit by cars crossing the street... falling in the shower and cracking my head open while my daughter was napping and I was alone... you name it, I was afraid of it. I was certain I would die and never see my baby grow up. I was the bread winner in my family and I had to quit my job before returning from maternity leave because I couldn't handle the idea of going back. Finally, after 12 months of this, I started seeing a therapist and got myself out of the spiral. It's been 3 years now since that ended and I've had several severe flare ups. Therapy always gets me back on track, so I've recently found a therapist with better availability so I can see her weekly and I'm making an appointment to speak with my doctor about medication.

I implore you to seek help. There's no way I would have survived that time without it. Anxiety is an illness that needs to be treated.

[ScaredAsHeck]

Anxiety is heinous. Have you spoken with anyone about it - your primary care doctor or a therapist?

After my daughter was born 4 years ago I fell into horrific postpartum anxiety. It slowly built over many months until I was completely debilitated around 7 months postpartum. I couldn't even get out of bed in the morning. My mom had to come stay with me for weeks at a time. I would cry from the moment I woke until the day ended. I went to doctor after doctor - I though I had lung cancer, blood clots, skin cancer, ovarian cancer, brain tumors, heart disease, kidney failure, liver disease. I went to an allergist because I was sure I was no allergic to multiple things and would die of anaphylactic shock while home alone with my daughter. I imagine us getting hit by cars crossing the street... falling in the shower and cracking my head open while my daughter was napping and I was alone... you name it, I was afraid of it. I was certain I would die and never see my baby grow up. I was the bread winner in my family and I had to quit my job before returning from maternity leave because I couldn't handle the idea of going back. Finally, after 12 months of this, I started seeing a therapist and got myself out of the spiral. It's been 3 years now since that ended and I've had several severe flare ups. Therapy always gets me back on track, so I've recently found a therapist with better availability so I can see her weekly and I'm making an appointment to speak with my doctor about medication.

I implore you to seek help. There's no way I would have survived that time without it. Anxiety is an illness that needs to be treated.


Wow I’m sorry you had to go though that for 12 whole months. And I can relate to the food allergy thing too! I’m always skeptical when I try new foods for that very same fear. I self diagnosed myself with like 5 different things. Clots too, heart failure, vitamins deficiency, PE, meningitis, endocarditis. Today I was YouTubing people who had PE and wondered how I stacked up to them. I really really don’t want to go the medication route, I have a bottle of Xanax and Ativan in my room that my doctor prescribed to me but I’m so hesitant. I’d rather go the therapy route. You know it’s funny, my anxiety was so bad these 3 months that my mother had enough of it and is going back to college to get her masters and bachelors in psychology and become a therapist to help people like me. She treats me every now and then.

[ErinKC]

I definitely don't think Xanax and Ativan are great long term, but I have taken Ativan in the thick of uncontrollable panic and it has helped me wind down. I think Ativan has a shorter half-life than Xanax, so it leaves your system faster. I like that because it makes me tired. It may be worth trying just to try and break the cycle, and then get into therapy.

[Emls78]

Believe me, you’re not alone in this. I wake up every morning with a feeling of dread at what symptoms I will face that day. I have a constant feeling of intense fear in my stomach/ chest area about what the day will bring, will it be dizziness, palpitations, racing heart, chest pain, headaches? I live in fear of something awful happening to me and no one helping or being there to help, I don’t even lock my front door when I’m home alone incase something happens to me and help won’t be able to get in! I’m scared to walk the dog incase I have a heart attack! The thing is I’ve had many many tests and am told my heart is healthy and that basically I’m putting myself in this turmoil. I haven’t written this to say that I’m in a worse position than you, but to show you you’re really not alone. Anxiety is hell and the only person that can truly help us is ourselves. We have to learn to trust doctors and trust our bodies, easier said than done but there must be a way to achieve this! I start therapy today and I actually can’t wait, I hope this is my life line out of this hell hole. Please get yourself some help and start to see the light at the end of the tunnel xx