dancerja77
05-10-18, 07:35
Is anyone like myself, and just aren't "close" or "touchy feely" with their family?
My dad grew up without a mom. His mom died when he was 7, a family of 5 greek sons was raised by an immigrant father who probably didn't have the nurturing thing down. (He was the best)
Do you think his lack of "motherly love" could effect the way my family is? You will not catch us hanging out, or doing things together, and I wish we did, but I get that we all kind of do our own thing. I am 23, my sister is 20 and away at school, my younger brother is 15.
When we were younger, I feel for some reason that I hurt him. I don't know if it was during play, or what, but I feel like I abused him some way. I remember rubbing up against him, maybe when I was 10 or 11? And I know that I can't judge my present self on past mistakes, but I feel like when I try to get close to him, or hangout I just have this overwhelming guilt. I know it doesn't effect him and it was most likely nothing but I can't get over it.
I also.. (this still haunts me although I'm *over* it.) used my dads toothbrush as a masturbation aid. I don't think to this day I could ever tell him. He since has a new toothbrush so it wouldn't make sense to confess, but I feel gross about it. I was probably in 7th grade and just didn't care about others back that. I would NEVER do anything like that now, and I am so guilt stricken with everything that I have done as a child and I want to be able to let it go. I want to be close to my family without feeling such guilt.
Am I weird? am I broken?
My dad grew up without a mom. His mom died when he was 7, a family of 5 greek sons was raised by an immigrant father who probably didn't have the nurturing thing down. (He was the best)
Do you think his lack of "motherly love" could effect the way my family is? You will not catch us hanging out, or doing things together, and I wish we did, but I get that we all kind of do our own thing. I am 23, my sister is 20 and away at school, my younger brother is 15.
When we were younger, I feel for some reason that I hurt him. I don't know if it was during play, or what, but I feel like I abused him some way. I remember rubbing up against him, maybe when I was 10 or 11? And I know that I can't judge my present self on past mistakes, but I feel like when I try to get close to him, or hangout I just have this overwhelming guilt. I know it doesn't effect him and it was most likely nothing but I can't get over it.
I also.. (this still haunts me although I'm *over* it.) used my dads toothbrush as a masturbation aid. I don't think to this day I could ever tell him. He since has a new toothbrush so it wouldn't make sense to confess, but I feel gross about it. I was probably in 7th grade and just didn't care about others back that. I would NEVER do anything like that now, and I am so guilt stricken with everything that I have done as a child and I want to be able to let it go. I want to be close to my family without feeling such guilt.
Am I weird? am I broken?