Childhood mistakes and regrets?

[dancerja77]

Backstory:

Is anyone like myself, and just aren't "close" or "touchy feely" with their family?

My dad grew up without a mom. His mom died when he was 7, a family of 5 greek sons was raised by an immigrant father who probably didn't have the nurturing thing down. (He was the best)

Do you think his lack of "motherly love" could effect the way my family is? You will not catch us hanging out, or doing things together, and I wish we did, but I get that we all kind of do our own thing. I am 23, my sister is 20 and away at school, my younger brother is 15.

When we were younger, I feel for some reason that I hurt him. I don't know if it was during play, or what, but I feel like I abused him some way. I remember rubbing up against him, maybe when I was 10 or 11? And I know that I can't judge my present self on past mistakes, but I feel like when I try to get close to him, or hangout I just have this overwhelming guilt. I know it doesn't effect him and it was most likely nothing but I can't get over it.

I also.. (this still haunts me although I'm *over* it.) used my dads toothbrush as a masturbation aid. I don't think to this day I could ever tell him. He since has a new toothbrush so it wouldn't make sense to confess, but I feel gross about it. I was probably in 7th grade and just didn't care about others back that. I would NEVER do anything like that now, and I am so guilt stricken with everything that I have done as a child and I want to be able to let it go. I want to be close to my family without feeling such guilt.

I can't stop obsessing about me being a bard person.

Am I weird? am I broken?

[tinibop]

I think the first step is to identify the issue and you seem to have done that so next step is to come to terms with it and make it right this ones a bit trickier but be easy on your self you was young! We all make mistakes and we are all human I for one got to close to someone I shouldn't have and will never admit to it but now I'm a grown up I know it was just being curious and there was a close bond and i didn't truly understand how the world worked at that point as for the tooth brush you know he's replaced it and I once cleaned the toilet with my sister's tooth brush then put it back and would laugh to my self every time she used it I feel so guilty now but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I hope you can find closure and forgive yourself what you did isn't that bad tbh I thought the toothbrush bit was funny I'm sorry xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think the first step is to identify the issue and you seem to have done that so next step is to come to terms with it and make it right this ones a bit trickier but be easy on your self you was young! We all make mistakes and we are all human I for one got to close to someone I shouldn't have and will never admit to it but now I'm a grown up I know it was just being curious and there was a close bond and i didn't truly understand how the world worked at that point as for the tooth brush you know he's replaced it and I once cleaned the toilet with my sister's tooth brush then put it back and would laugh to my self every time she used it I feel so guilty now but hindsight is a wonderful thing. I hope you can find closure and forgive yourself what you did isn't that bad tbh I thought the toothbrush bit was funny I'm sorry xx

:yesyes: That's just kids and pranks. We look back with the benefit of a more mature mind and judge ourselves but the fact is probably most if not all of us have done such things and don't get hung up on them and obsess which is where the OCD comes in finding itself more Confirmation Bias to scare us with.