bad times again

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi to everyone here that knows me, sorry i havent posted for a while but after having a couple of months of feeling better ish!! and trying to cope with issues and panic attacks and anxiety myself and comming to terms with it find myself feeling im back at square 1 again. i had a hurrendous night last night i have had ear infections etc on and off since last january had antibiotics etc that sorted the infection out now i am left with sticky liguid in my ears which is making me go deaf, off balance and generally ****, have started having panic attacks again and being sick off my food knot in my tummy tight chest headaches and sooooooo pissed off. i didnt get any sleep last night at all and run out of diazapam and couldnt relax, have been on various medicines and now the doc has prescribed proxac 20 mg a day but wont start them until ive seen the ear specialist for fear the prozac will make me feel worse until it kicks in to my system. After having councelling a few times in the past few months have come to the realisation that my ****ty childhood has left me with issues that are now comming to the surface and making me feel axnious and sometimes unable to cope very well, ive always been a strong person up to now and feel a shaddow of my former self and its something that scares me and want so badly to be and feel normal again i just feel as though im out of control and on a slippery slope to ruin, got married on xmas eve to andy and feel a faliour to him for being this way too what a crap way to start married life, but bless him hes so supportive.
Sorry to rable on again but you guys have been so supportive in the past just need a shoulder at the moment i guess..

Love Sarah-jane xxxx

Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[Sarah-Jane]

also been getting hot and cold flushes and been fainting and pins and needles in my face too.

Love Sarah-jane xxxx

Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[vernon]

hi sarh, sorry to hear how u feel, you was telling me the night before last and was so good to hear from you again. If its of any help my wife had a bad ear infection, went to doctors and he refered her to a ent unit. anyway they done all the hearing tests etc and she was right she had lost a lot of hearing in her year and they said probs came from an infection and they would sent her for a scan (wich takes months as u know lol) Any way her hearing has returned fully and she now feels ok again even though it took quite a while. So dont worry yourself about it as it can take ages to get better and u r young and sure it will. the other about u feeling back to aquare one is probs just a set back i get them realy bad at times after feeling good for a while. You have been through a lot recently? you got married at xmas and all the excitement of xmas too is probs just to much but sure it wont last. after a good couple off weeks u always seem to come right down again. take care sarah, hope to see u again soon, take care Vernon

[stimpy]

Having an ear infection isn't doing anything at all to make you feel calm.
Once you get the ear sorted out, you will find you will start to feel a lot better.

Remember to remind yourself that physical symptoms are only Mr Panic's way of frightening you and making you feel worse.
They will not harm you. Once you learn to relax again they will go away.

Having councelling is a great step forward.
It may not feel like that now, but in the future it will help.
I know it feels like you are facing things you'd rather remain buried.
But confronting the pain and the hurt will help resolve a lot of things, and in time it will help you realise what a good person you are and take the inner pain away. Sometimes the only way to deal with the demons of the past, is to face them head on.

Hang in there hun.


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[sal]

Hi Hon

Firstly congratulations on getting married. Christmas is a stressful time anyway without the all organising and planning for a wedding, so i am not surprised that you are going through a blip. Been poorly aswell wont have helped how you are feeling and will have caused you to feel run down and generally p***** of like you said.

Remember you felt much better and you know that you got through it last time and you will this time.

Take care hon.





Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[pips]

Hi Sarah Jane,

So sorry you are feeling so crap at the mo. Having an ear infection is bound to make you feel totally off balance poorly and low.

Councelling can also bring up mixed emotions and it can be so very difficult to face up to certain issues. You are a strong person to cope as you have though! I'm am sure you will find that inner strength again perhaps it's just having a little holiday hey!LOL

Congratulaions on getting married as well. Please don't feel like a failure you are so NOT! I know how you feel as my Panic attacks etc started on my honeymoon and I felt so guilty to my husband. Remember he loves you for you though and you are not letting anyone down!

I hope you feel better again soon. Remember it is just a blip and it takes time patience and comfort.

Take Care hun,

Love PIP'S XX XX

[Sarah-Jane]

Thanks for your kind messages, ive been thinking about it all and think that its a fear of panic attakcs that is setting me back too. Im also looking for a new job too, i figure new job new challenge will take my mind off things and give me something new and exiting to focus on. Fear is a horrible thing and until now didnt understand it but i tell ya what im that mad with it it can **** off lol.

Day by day step by step im determined to beat this, before it beats me ..........we shall see eh!! Will keep you all posted.



Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[sal]

Thats the right attitude to have, you sound totally positive. It wont beat you hon you have overcome it before and you will be even stronger and well prepared this time.

Good luck in finding a new job, thats a complete new start to focus on.



Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sarah-Jane

Glad to see you posted again. It has been good chatting on MSN too.

I think once you get the ear infection sorted then you may start to feel a bit better. Well I hope so anyway.

Chin up ok?

Nicola

[ruth]

Dear Sarah Jane, I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad at the moment I like yourself have spiralled downwards over the last year or so, in fact I have just come back to the site again seeking help and support for the debilitating effects of anxiety and panic attacks, I am trying to hold off taking meds again as I know only too well how bad they make you feel to start with, and taking time off work etc, adding to the stress of it all. I do hope your ear is clearing up, that can make you feel really lousy. Do as I try to do that is not to lose touch with reality, it will pass we just have to find a way to get through the bad days

Love Ruth xx

[Meg]

So Ruth and Sarah Jane ,

What is most upsetting for each of you ?

Lets take each issue one by one and get some progress going here .




Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[Sarah-Jane]

Hi Meg

Well fearful of the tight chests and headaches that i have constantly no matter how much i try to relax makes me feel as though something is wrong with me and that what im feeling is warning signs of an underlying problem also the panic attacks i have scare me too or perhaps the fear of having one? sometimes i can talk my way through em even though they are very scary but sometimes i go completely into one where control is out of the question. As for my ears well been an ongoing problem i was born deaf in my left ear due to a bad virus i had when i was born and now my right ear has infection after infection and now to a stage where meds arent doing a great deal and im going deaf in that ear too and going completely deaf scares the **** out of me to be honest i am seeing a specialist for my ears on the 21st january so hopefully i can get this issue resolved once and for all.

On a more posotive note im using the **** off panic attacks approach and as from today have started taking the prozac to try and help me feel better generally and if that doesnt sort the panic attakcs out it will sort my feeling low factor thus arming me to combat the fear and anxiety only time will tell but i am determined to get better just wish it would come sooner rather than later ...i was always an impatient sod lol have gotten a tension relaxation cd that i listened too last night and trains each part of your body to tense and relax which i assume makes your body know the difference between tension and relaxation. felt a bit silly doing the excersises but no sillier than having a panic attack so im giving it a serious go.


Love Sarah-Jane xxxx

[Meg]

With anxiety and panic the body tenses itself up in every set of muscle groups ready to be set for flight or fight.

The chest pain is a very common one and it is human nature to try and explain to ourselves what is wrong when we don't feel 'right'.
Unfortunately, in our world we are only too aware that people die of chest pain that is cardiac in origin or lung cancer and because it doesn't make good telly we just don't see people who just have tight muscles so it doesn't come to our minds to explain how we feel.

Headaches are such a common symptom as well as even our scalp has nerve ending and as we tense up the blood vessels change in their elasticity to accomodate blood being diverted for fight and flight. It soften called a headband pain...

I'm glad you are seeing an ENT specialist soon.

Keep doing your relaxation CD - its is a cumulative effect.



Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk

You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance