Shadowhawk
10-10-18, 00:10
Enough is enough damnit. Today is the day I stop losing, and start winning.
For months, many of you know I have been kicking my own butt with anxiety and depression. I am fat, and have health worries, on top of suddenly being left to become a single father. And to say I have been handling it less than gracefully is an understatement. I have no doubt that this year of worry has cut off years of my life.
But today, I am putting my foot down.
No more of this.
No more being a coward.
No more living in shame.
I am not going to let my health worries rule my life any longer. I am not going to let my fear steal any more of the joy in my life.
I have health worries. My heart is slightly enlarged from my blood pressure. My liver has fat thanks to my lifestyle. This all still scares the hell out of me, and will for some time. But being scared isn't going to fix me. Taking action will fix me.
This morning my scale said 291.8. That is alot, and I have a long way to go. But when I started this, my scale said 330, so I am celebrating this. I am a week into Keto, and plan on making it my new lifestyle.
In December 2017, I couldn't walk more than a block before I had crippling back pain. As of this week, I can walk 2.5 miles straight, or do a mile walking and a mile and a half on the elliptical. I plan on challenging myself to ramp up those numbers (they are rookie numbers!!)
No more will I be a coward. I may well be dying, but I have decided that I will go down fighting tooth and nail, and not go out like a pussy. People with cancer fight. People with terminal illness fight. I too will fight, and I will show my daughter a fighting spirit right to my bloody end. People have beaten worse, and I will too by gosh. I will use my fear as a motivator. I will channel that nervous energy as fuel to never give up.
Retreat, Hell!
For months, many of you know I have been kicking my own butt with anxiety and depression. I am fat, and have health worries, on top of suddenly being left to become a single father. And to say I have been handling it less than gracefully is an understatement. I have no doubt that this year of worry has cut off years of my life.
But today, I am putting my foot down.
No more of this.
No more being a coward.
No more living in shame.
I am not going to let my health worries rule my life any longer. I am not going to let my fear steal any more of the joy in my life.
I have health worries. My heart is slightly enlarged from my blood pressure. My liver has fat thanks to my lifestyle. This all still scares the hell out of me, and will for some time. But being scared isn't going to fix me. Taking action will fix me.
This morning my scale said 291.8. That is alot, and I have a long way to go. But when I started this, my scale said 330, so I am celebrating this. I am a week into Keto, and plan on making it my new lifestyle.
In December 2017, I couldn't walk more than a block before I had crippling back pain. As of this week, I can walk 2.5 miles straight, or do a mile walking and a mile and a half on the elliptical. I plan on challenging myself to ramp up those numbers (they are rookie numbers!!)
No more will I be a coward. I may well be dying, but I have decided that I will go down fighting tooth and nail, and not go out like a pussy. People with cancer fight. People with terminal illness fight. I too will fight, and I will show my daughter a fighting spirit right to my bloody end. People have beaten worse, and I will too by gosh. I will use my fear as a motivator. I will channel that nervous energy as fuel to never give up.
Retreat, Hell!