Always need "validation" of illness

[DustingMyselfOff]

This has been going on my entire life and frankly I'm quite sick of it. Whenever I feel unwell, I immediately start trying to figure out/read/research what caused it. Something I ate? Something I didn't eat? A supplement I took? The addition of a new med? The change in dose of a med? An odor in my house? I suffer so much more with the mental aspect of mild illnesses than I do with the physical symptoms.

I SO ENVY people who can simply state "I feel crappy today" and either go about their business, or give into it and go home. They give in, get some rest, and recover. But not me! I have to know WHY I'm sick. I can't rest and relax and give in, I need to know what caused it (probably in the hopes of avoiding it again in the future).

If I hear of someone else with similar symptoms a few days later I am elated! (How stupid is that!?!) I am thrilled that what I had/have is a real, legitimate, bug or virus that others have, too. Once it gets validated that I simply caught something, I feel great emotionally. But if I don't hear of anyone else being sick, I continue to be depressed and anxious about feeling lousy.

Why is this - any theories? Better yet, any suggestions to stop this madness and just accept that I may feel lousy at times (unfortunately, more than the average person).
Sue

[Anxiousamyj]

I totally get this. I am the same way, and I'm like that in every area of my life. I need to understand why. I just told my husband when I had a cold recently that I wish he had it too. He knows me and my thought processes, so he wasn't surprised. I don't have any answers, but I think it's a personality traits that is a bit dysfunctional when translated into health anxiety.

[cattia]

I could have written this myself. The other day I had hives on one side of my neck and my mind started racing, thinking could they be bites, could it be an autoimmune disease etc etc. In the end I realised my husband had given me a hug on his way out and it was a rash from his beard!
I think it is something to do with being in control. If we know what caused something then we can take action to fix it. An unknown illness means that we have to sit with some level of uncertainty and I think for most of us, that is very hard.

[lofwyr]

I was very much like this. I am nervous at times now, but less about my health and more about other things in my life that are more rational to be nervous about.

The thing is, ultimately, our anxiety comes from what we cannot know and cannot control. Believe it or not, where you are is where I was just before I had something of a breakthrough that led me, more or less, to the best place I have been in a long time.

Really work on accepting the problem without the "why" and peace of mind is just over that line. If you have any CBT techniques, use them, buy yourself a moment of calm if you can, and if you can, work on extending that moment of calm.

[DustingMyselfOff]

Wow, thanks everyone - knowing someone else has this "ailment" makes me feel better - you've validated my need for validation! And thanks, Lofwyr, for letting me know that there IS a way out of this, or at least a lessening of it. Any tips or tricks, or is it pretty much learning to say "Who cares WHY I feel crappy! I do, and it will pass, and if it doesn't then I'll see a doctor."?

Actually, when I was on a higher dose of anti-anxiety meds I think I did find myself worrying about this less and actually remember celebrating that I once felt sick without feeling anxious over it. But since I try to avoid and/or limit meds as much as possible, I'm not taking those anymore. OK, I will practice not giving a damn as to why I'm sick, but the other part of the challenge is figuring out how many of they physical symptoms are real and how many are caused by anxiety.

The battle continues . . .