veggiedog
22-10-18, 23:04
Hi everyone,
I'm in a bad state tonight and mostly need a place to vent. I've had OCD, primarily health-related, for most of my life and am in the middle of one of the worst bouts.
For the past year or so, I've had pulsatile tinnitus in my left ear. It's intermittent and seems to be triggered by particular postures (e.g., hunching at the computer). Of course, I've googled this extensively, have read basically every medical journal article I could get my hands on, and have worked myself into a panic for the last year.
I've seen three doctors about this. The first one was a private walk-in clinic and he basically laughed it off (sigh). The second, my primary care doctor, seemed mostly unconcerned but ordered a chest & cervical spine X-ray. That was about six months ago and everything was normal.
Most recently, I went to a different walk-in clinic and the doctor ordered a full work-up: MRI (cervical spine and brain with contrast), carotid doppler ultrasound, and a referral to an ENT.
I had the MRI/MRA about a week ago at a private clinic. I had the results sent to both my primary care doctor and the walk-in clinic doctor that ordered them. Yesterday, my primary care doctor called me and said my results were "normal" but we could discuss them in more detail at my (pre-existing) appointment on November 1st.
Today, however, the walk-in clinic called and said the doctor would like to see me in person to discuss the results. I'm going in first thing tomorrow morning so I should know what's up within the next 16 hours.
This is so hard. I felt such an immense sense of relief after my primary doctor called to say they were normal, though of course I had some niggling doubts about what she wanted to "discuss"... now, even that little bit of relief is gone. :(
I'm trying to tell myself that the walk-in clinic doctor could want to discuss something totally minor (e.g., TMJ which I have, weird neck pain which I have) but of course I'm fixated on the most awful, cardiovascular-related scenarios. My partner tells me that the results may very well be "normal" and the doctor simply wants to follow up because he knows I'm worried.
But if it were THAT minor, wouldn't he at least wait until I have the carotid doppler ultrasound too...?
It's impossible to theorize, which is the worst part. Quite literally, all I can do is wait. Sixteen more hours until I find out... :(
Thank you for letting me vent.
I'm in a bad state tonight and mostly need a place to vent. I've had OCD, primarily health-related, for most of my life and am in the middle of one of the worst bouts.
For the past year or so, I've had pulsatile tinnitus in my left ear. It's intermittent and seems to be triggered by particular postures (e.g., hunching at the computer). Of course, I've googled this extensively, have read basically every medical journal article I could get my hands on, and have worked myself into a panic for the last year.
I've seen three doctors about this. The first one was a private walk-in clinic and he basically laughed it off (sigh). The second, my primary care doctor, seemed mostly unconcerned but ordered a chest & cervical spine X-ray. That was about six months ago and everything was normal.
Most recently, I went to a different walk-in clinic and the doctor ordered a full work-up: MRI (cervical spine and brain with contrast), carotid doppler ultrasound, and a referral to an ENT.
I had the MRI/MRA about a week ago at a private clinic. I had the results sent to both my primary care doctor and the walk-in clinic doctor that ordered them. Yesterday, my primary care doctor called me and said my results were "normal" but we could discuss them in more detail at my (pre-existing) appointment on November 1st.
Today, however, the walk-in clinic called and said the doctor would like to see me in person to discuss the results. I'm going in first thing tomorrow morning so I should know what's up within the next 16 hours.
This is so hard. I felt such an immense sense of relief after my primary doctor called to say they were normal, though of course I had some niggling doubts about what she wanted to "discuss"... now, even that little bit of relief is gone. :(
I'm trying to tell myself that the walk-in clinic doctor could want to discuss something totally minor (e.g., TMJ which I have, weird neck pain which I have) but of course I'm fixated on the most awful, cardiovascular-related scenarios. My partner tells me that the results may very well be "normal" and the doctor simply wants to follow up because he knows I'm worried.
But if it were THAT minor, wouldn't he at least wait until I have the carotid doppler ultrasound too...?
It's impossible to theorize, which is the worst part. Quite literally, all I can do is wait. Sixteen more hours until I find out... :(
Thank you for letting me vent.