DustingMyselfOff
24-10-18, 15:34
I've had "health anxiety" all my life but it occurred to me last night that mine is of a slightly different type. When I was younger, yes, I would worry that every symptom I felt was from a life-threatening disease and that I was going to die soon. But for the past 20 years or so my health anxiety is different: I don't obsess thinking every ailment is going to kill me or become serious, but instead I worry night and day that I will start to feel unwell while I am with others and/or at a social event. If I don't feel well when I'm home that's fine, I can give in to it or I can lie down, etc. But my overwhelming fear which keeps me from making plans with others or accepting invitations is the fear that i might not feel well while I'm away from my house.
It's always the first and foremost thought when someone invites me somewhere, I instantly freeze and panic because "what if I accept and then I don't feel good that day or I start feeling ill while we are there?" I'm trying to dig down and figure out WHY this is affecting my life so much. Am I afraid of being embarrassed? Am I afraid an illness will look like a weakness? Am I afraid of ruining plans for others if I suddenly become ill?
This is becoming very strong right now because I'm getting on a long flight to stay with my daughter and her two children in about a week. I'm terrified I'll be sick while I'm on the plane (that's the worst!) and terrified that I will need to lie down or not feel well while I'm visiting. Of course my daughter would be sympathetic, kind and compassionate, so I can't figure out why the thought of it happening terrifies me.
I think part of it is because I don't want to feel like the oddball... I hardly ever see anyone else complain of not feeling well when they are out and about, while, for me, it happens often and I struggle to hide it.
Anyone else feel something similar that might help me figure out what causes this and how I can overcome it?
Thanks for listening.
Sue
It's always the first and foremost thought when someone invites me somewhere, I instantly freeze and panic because "what if I accept and then I don't feel good that day or I start feeling ill while we are there?" I'm trying to dig down and figure out WHY this is affecting my life so much. Am I afraid of being embarrassed? Am I afraid an illness will look like a weakness? Am I afraid of ruining plans for others if I suddenly become ill?
This is becoming very strong right now because I'm getting on a long flight to stay with my daughter and her two children in about a week. I'm terrified I'll be sick while I'm on the plane (that's the worst!) and terrified that I will need to lie down or not feel well while I'm visiting. Of course my daughter would be sympathetic, kind and compassionate, so I can't figure out why the thought of it happening terrifies me.
I think part of it is because I don't want to feel like the oddball... I hardly ever see anyone else complain of not feeling well when they are out and about, while, for me, it happens often and I struggle to hide it.
Anyone else feel something similar that might help me figure out what causes this and how I can overcome it?
Thanks for listening.
Sue