Anxiety And lack of coping skills

[dave01]

Hi i was wandering if anyone else can relate to how i am. i just don't seem to have the coping skills to deal with every day life situations i know i am a very very anxious person, and it seems i have become over sensitized to almost everything/situations. I feel as though i have become so far detached from what i would call my baseline, that the slightest thing can trigger a huge wave of anxiety, an example of this is if i am at work and a colleague says something slightly out of turn, this becomes huge to me and totally disproportionate to the situation or if someone said something to me in a manner that is meant as tongue in cheek i start thinking '' they must have meant that''. These are just two silly examples of the way i am there are hundreds more, the need to be liked, need to please others all the time, inability to say no to someone just constant worry and anxiety it just seems to be here all the time in fact it now feels like anxiety is normal for me, i just want to return to my old baseline of coping with life and what ever comes along.http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/icons/icon9.gif
Sorry to rant!
Thanx for reading guys.

[dorabella]

I have days like this when I exaggerate even the slightest everyday occurrences to titanic proportions - thinking that the little error I made at work has become the focus of the world's attention, taking the innocent comments of colleagues and friends completely the wrong way - not that I would let them know it had bothered or upset me - I always chew over it ad nauseam when I am alone.I think (going on my own experiences) that you probably have an element of background depression which never fails to help you catastrophize everyday occurrences of even the most insignificant and unimportant nature. The only advice I can give is to chew over it until you have worked it out of your system - try and rationalize what has happened and your reaction to it.We all have days like this - it's quite normal when you are in an anxious state. I'v been like this for 10 years - it is normality for me.

[groovygranny]

Hi dave,

You're not ranting, and these are not 'silly' incidents - they are very real.

I have learned to 'get over' things like this. But that doesn't stop me from feeling exactly the same as you when they happen. Only now I don't allow my mind to persuade me to make something out of nothing.

It's not easy to do this - my first reaction is always to think 'what did they really mean? they're having a go at me, or they're taking the micky out of me'.

But then I say to myself that if I carry on thinking like that I will only tie myself up in knots - so, I let it go over the top of my head.

I can't control what has already been said - but I can control my reaction or response to it.

I hope this reassures you somewhat.

:hugs::hugs:

[CarpeDiem]

:) Hi Dave :)

Sorry you're caught up in your anxiousness right now; I can totally relate; for me its like I'm looking for evidence for what I knew all along - I'm a crap, useless, loser, waste of space. So the slightest thing someone says I pounce on like "Ha! I knew it! They do hate me"

Now at this point a lot of people are inclined to say that you're probably just imagining it & they don't hate you. But I think this is a false economy - The important thing to teach yourself is..... maybe they do hate you........

:ohmy:

..... but so what if they do?!

I think the wanting to please everyone & maintain a pleasant atmosphere comes from feeling like you can't cope with anything. But this can lead you to reinforce the idea that everything needs to be perfect in order for you to be able to cope. This is a slippery slope that I have found myself on many a time. I'm with GroovyGranny on this one - Refocus your energy into changing how you think about/react to the things that go on around you; rather than trying to second guess/manipulate the things that go on around you.

I find that looking at everything as a journey of self-discovery helps me; it helps me feel like I'm moving forward with things & helps me rationalise crap stuff happening as all part of that journey; I feel like by the time I've cracked this, I'll be more well-rounded person than I ever would have been before the crap stuff happened, as I never would have gone into therapy & learned so much about my mind. I didn't start thinking like that overnight though, so just keep at it; you sound like you want to start living your life & thats the main driving force you need to do this I reckon. Good luck with it,
Take care, CarpeDiem
xxxxxx

[CarpeDiem]

PS - As you felt the need to apologise for your 12-line "Rant" (:shrug:)
then you are most definitely due an apology for my page long extravaganza! :doh:
Sorry !!! :blush: