Constantly focusing on how I'm feeling

[Alice1990]

I'll be starting to enjoy myself or I'll be distracted, but then I'll think about how I'm feeling to see if I still feel down ( I've felt generally off the last few days, lack of interest in things etc), or I'll check how I'm feeling physically and if something is off I'll feel that horrible dropping sensation in my stomach.

I am just so sick of being so on edge all the time, constantly monitoring how I'm feeling and how I'm thinking. If it isn't one worry, then it's another. Would do anything to go back to the days where this just wasn't an issue :weep:

[Mandyhieronimus]

I’m right there with you! I’ll be having a great day and then I’ll get a little twinge of pain somewhere and it’s all downhill from there. It’s been going on 5 years now that I’ve had HA and its what I hate the most about myself.

Praying for you!

[Tiatyrah]

I think I know how you feel and it sucks. Whenever I feel "ok" I start thinking what I could do to relax or what I enjoy. For example when I decide to watch a TV serie, I get the stupid idea to see if I can still feel my lymph nodes (that is my anxiety) and of course I can still feel them when I touch them, after that the plan to do something fun or watch a TV show gets replaced with "what's the point? I can't finish the show anyway because I'll probably be dead because of lymphoma or an other cancer before I can finish the show in a couple of months". Then I go back to feeling down and anxious about the fact that I can still feel my nodes and still think I'm seriously ill. It's very annoying to feel this way and that these feelings stop me from doing anything that is fun.

I'm not sure if this example is a bit like yours, I kinda hope so though! Maybe I, or you, are not alone in this then.

[forbiddenxo]

I think I know how you feel and it sucks. Whenever I feel "ok" I start thinking what I could do to relax or what I enjoy. For example when I decide to watch a TV serie, I get the stupid idea to see if I can still feel my lymph nodes (that is my anxiety) and of course I can still feel them when I touch them, after that the plan to do something fun or watch a TV show gets replaced with "what's the point? I can't finish the show anyway because I'll probably be dead because of lymphoma or an other cancer before I can finish the show in a couple of months". Then I go back to feeling down and anxious about the fact that I can still feel my nodes and still think I'm seriously ill. It's very annoying to feel this way and that these feelings stop me from doing anything that is fun.

I'm not sure if this example is a bit like yours, I kinda hope so though! Maybe I, or you, are not alone in this then.


OMG THIS IS MY LIFE! :weep: I do the exact same.. I can be doing something productive around the house or even getting ready to go somewhere and eat or whatever, then I go and see if my nodes are still there and bam ! What’s the point of doing anything If I might be sick blah blah. Then I usually crawl into bed :( why are we like this -.-

[Tiatyrah]

I don't know why we are like this! I am pretty relieved I am not the only one though!

[cattia]

Oh yes, I can relate so much to this! I can be having an OK day then the minute I think about whether I'm feeling OK or not I invariably realise I'm not. Even if I don't have a particular symptom (which I usually do at the moment) I'll start to notice that I feel tired or just off somehow. The only time I feel OK is when I'm not thinking about how I feel but at the moment those times are few and far between!

[Ethansmom]

I too am the same! I am always analyzing how I feel. Why am I so tired? why do I feel nervous? what do I have a headache? everything is a death to me. I hate having anxiety. Even anxiety meds don't cure everything.

[Tiatyrah]

I hate how anxiety can stop me from doing things I used to like or whenever I feel like doing something fun, I wonder about my nodes again and boom.. Fun things gone..

[Whippy]

Just seen this thread. You have all described how my life is currently, I can’t get through a whole day without been anxious about something to do with my health. It’s been like this Did get it under control for a few months, but had to have an operation last year and of course that triggered it all again