View Full Version : Severe anxiety over pancreatic cancer
Hey everybody,
Was hoping some people could share some similar experiences/stories that may be similar to mine. Having a bit anxiety, and I'm better than I used to be with these situations, but any support would be appreciated.
So, I had an appointment to see a new GP two Saturdays ago to have a physical done, which ended with some blood work (typical blood work I'm guessing, the tests weren't specified, nor did i ask), and I left without concern (after all, I went in for a general check-up as I was registering with a new GP, not because I was concerned about anything) as the doc said everything seemed fine based on the physical.
So, yesterday while on vacation (overseas for the next week) I seen that I had two voicemails from the doctor's office, one on the following Wednesday after the tests, and another follow up call on the Friday. The first message was "hi this is the doctors office, we have a message regarding your blood test results, please call us back", the second was the same. That's it, no mention of results or what the problem is, just to ring them up.
I have a history of severe health anxiety, so these things always set me off, although I'm handling this much better than I usually would. However, I still think about what the results could be quite often, and tend to worry about whether or not it's a serious or urgent thing. I always imagine that maybe they found an extremely high white blood count indicating some cancer or something serious like that. Even though it seems unlikely (no symptoms of any kind), and the call didn't really sound urgent (also, they only tried to call me twice, I feel like if it were something very serious they wouldve have called sooner and more often,instead of 4 days after the test and then waiting another 2 days for the follow up call), I still can't help but think of the "what if" scenarios. It's driving me nuts, something I didn't want to deal with on vacation haha.
Anybody have similar stories regarding a call back for blood tests? Should I be worried? Do docs usually call only if it's bad news?
Any help would be appreciated.
Hiyer,
They won't mention on the phone if anything is 'serious' or 'minor', thats the way of these things - you'll get a standard 'hi, call us back about your results' no matter what they want to say.That's what they are trained to do.
I can entirely relate to your fears though, as a 'call back' would send me into a flat spin too. Two weeks ago I had a voicemail from the surgery asking me to call - I was sweating and shaking ringing them back, but all it was was to make an appointment to review a med I've been on for ages.
You know what, it could just be that they are calling to tell you that everything has come back fine? It could be that you are slightly anaemic and need some iron? It could be that a vitamin or mineral is needed? Lets be honest, it could be anything, but in a HA state we always jump to that absolute worse case scenario. As you said yourself, you feel well, you have nothing physically that gives any cause for concern and they did very standard bloodwork....so whatever the results are, even if there is something the needs addressing...it sounds like something 'standard' and minor from what you are saying. Doctors surgeries could call back for any number of reasons, and no its not always 'bad news' but very minor news like potassium is low eat some more bananas lol Your thyroid results weren't quite right, can we do some repeat tests? (or the like)
I will say this...why not just call them back? The agony you are putting yourself through is worse than anything they could tell you, to my mind. Also, the idea behind having bloods done is to screen and find things that needed treating, before they become a problem, so even if something minor has been picked up, thats what those tests are for. Why not call today, I know you are on holiday, but its going to be spoilt with you worrying every moment and analysing/looking for reasons and logical events to backup your theories.
You're absolutely right. My logical brain tells me similar advice to yours (could be anything) and that real urgency would result in more attempts at contact. But my irrational side is screaming CANCER. For every moment of lucidity, I go down a rabbit-hole of what ifs to shoot down my rational side. One crazy example: despite the fact that if something really serious came up, I'd probably get a ring from the doc the same day, or on the Monday at least, my mind begins to think that maybe the tests were delayed by days and days or that the doc got the results and sent them to a cancer specialist and didnt call until after she heard concern from an oncologist or something. It's a pretty insane rabbit hole. It comes in waves.
I think it's just the sheer possiblity of something serious no matter how remote, that drives me nuts, which is funny, because I dont apply this flawed logic to anything other than my health.
I had a similar situation with an ultrasound on a lymphnode on my neck years ago... a few days go by and I get a VM from the docs office. I go cold immediately thinking that it was bad news (I always thought no news was good news when it came to medical tests), but they just wanted to confirm it was swollen from an infection and still within normal size range.
I hope it's not a potassium issue, I'm allergic to bananas haha.
Also, I called back yesterday, but they're closed until Tuesday (it's a long weekend in Canada). So hopefully it's nothing...
Ohhh you've tried to call, bless you, that was a strong step to take to then end up with finding out they were closed. Well, maybe it is potassium then if you aren't eating bananas LOL Wow, allergic to bananas, is that an unusual allergy?
All of the cancer scenarios just aren't likely AT ALL, to have gone to all those stages before they rang you. They don't send things off to cancer specialists like that based on basic blood tests - well not here in the UK anyway. They aren't completely diagnostic of anything, just clues to things and those things could be 'other things' - if you see what I mean. Even if there were some changes in blood cells, they'd want to have you in to do other checks - or arrange scans and so on and so forth, or refer you to an oncologist.
Nobody wants to imagine that they are going to get 'bad news' from tests. However, you can spin the way you think about that around on its head, for future responding to unexpected test results (I'm good at saying it, not so good at applying it myself lol). Surely, its actually 'good news' if something was found by a blood test from a new doctor, as it is early, can be treated and saves you from illness. I'm not thinking you will find that comment helpful, and maybe its too challenging - but I think the fact that you are so well, and nothing is showing at all in physical exam is a really good sign. As you've found out from your lymph node check before, something they just want to tell you some minor things and confirm things. Don't do that massive cancer jump thing - I've honestly never heard of someone having had a standard blood test come back showing something that serious, when they are presenting and feeling well.
I know you must be feeling absolutely dreadful, and I really hope you are able to get through to them tomorrow, until then just stay calm and reassure yourself that you don't feel unwell !. I'll be here to listen to what you find out. :)
Haha very well could be low potassium since I dont eat bananas. Yeah it's a pretty rare allergy, and it only developed in the last few years.
Oh definitely, it all sounds so far fetched, but such is anxiety unfortunately.
I may have to call them back myself, as I only get reception by the beach (currently in Tangiers and for some reason my phone will piggyback on a Spanish carrier but not a Moroccan one.)
When I was going through the diagnosis process, It started moving pretty quick after the CT Scan, ENT visit and initial diagnosis. They booked an appointment before I left the office and then moved it up a couple of days because the results came in.
I do understand how this would set you off. That being said, you're creating worst case scenarios. Again, from my personal experience, docs don't mess around when they think or know something is up. Carys gave some good advice and insight and I'd read those again. I understand it's difficult to quell the thoughts but keep repeating what you said yourself;
"Even though it seems unlikely (no symptoms of any kind), and the call didn't really sound urgent (also, they only tried to call me twice, I feel like if it were something very serious they wouldve have called sooner and more often,instead of 4 days after the test and then waiting another 2 days for the follow up call)"
Positive thoughts
Hey everybody,
Was hoping some people could share some similar experiences/stories that may be similar to mine. Having a bit anxiety, and I'm better than I used to be with these situations, but any support would be appreciated.
So, I had an appointment to see a new GP two Saturdays ago to have a physical done, which ended with some blood work (typical blood work I'm guessing, the tests weren't specified, nor did i ask), and I left without concern (after all, I went in for a general check-up as I was registering with a new GP, not because I was concerned about anything) as the doc said everything seemed fine based on the physical.
So, yesterday while on vacation (overseas for the next week) I seen that I had two voicemails from the doctor's office, one on the following Wednesday after the tests, and another follow up call on the Friday. The first message was "hi this is the doctors office, we have a message regarding your blood test results, please call us back", the second was the same. That's it, no mention of results or what the problem is, just to ring them up.
I have a history of severe health anxiety, so these things always set me off, although I'm handling this much better than I usually would. However, I still think about what the results could be quite often, and tend to worry about whether or not it's a serious or urgent thing. I always imagine that maybe they found an extremely high white blood count indicating some cancer or something serious like that. Even though it seems unlikely (no symptoms of any kind), and the call didn't really sound urgent (also, they only tried to call me twice, I feel like if it were something very serious they wouldve have called sooner and more often,instead of 4 days after the test and then waiting another 2 days for the follow up call), I still can't help but think of the "what if" scenarios. It's driving me nuts, something I didn't want to deal with on vacation haha.
Anybody have similar stories regarding a call back for blood tests? Should I be worried? Do docs usually call only if it's bad news?
Any help would be appreciated.
I had a similar panic recently after a repeat full blood test because my liver enzymes had been very slightly high on the first one. I was told if I heard nothing "no news is good news", but got a text saying I needed to get back in touch with them to make a GP appointment. I had a full-blown panic attack, I'm not sure they appreciate what these things do to those of us with health anxiety.
The upshot? My liver enzymes were back fine (most likely I'd just forgot and had a drink too close to the first test), and uric acid levels were very slightly high so they just want to keep tabs to make sure I don't get gout. That was literally it.
Thanks everyone. I know my rationale is pretty distorted, but HA is such a beast. You think it's gone, but pops back up once in a while. I'm just happy that I had my anxiety issues treated along time ago, otherwise I think I'd be having full blown panic attacks
I'm just happy that I had my anxiety issues treated along time ago, otherwise I think I'd be having full blown panic attacks
Well done you ! Fantastic to hear that such large positive changes were made by having anxiety treatment, sounds like you are doing much better than you might have done. Respect to you. Yep, HA, is a darned @>?K@_{ !
Well done you ! Fantastic to hear that such large positive changes were made by having anxiety treatment, sounds like you are doing much better than you might have done. Respect to you. Yep, HA, is a darned @>?K@_{ !
Thanks, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Really hate having to deal with this anxiety, even if I've made incremental improvements over the years. Slowly but surely I guess. Ideally I'd like to be able to take these things in stride
When I had a diagnosis, I will echo Fish's statement. Things moved along very quickly. I didn't get out of the doctor's office before I was referred to a cardiothoracic surgeon and sent away with a handful on new perscriptions and a lot of special instructions.
If it is serious, they tend not to screw around. They move with the urgency one would expect when it is something serious. I totally understand how it would set you off, as it would set me off as well, but if it were something deadly, I would fully expect them to keep at it.
When I had a diagnosis, I will echo Fish's statement. Things moved along very quickly. I didn't get out of the doctor's office before I was referred to a cardiothoracic surgeon and sent away with a handful on new perscriptions and a lot of special instructions.
If it is serious, they tend not to screw around. They move with the urgency one would expect when it is something serious. I totally understand how it would set you off, as it would set me off as well, but if it were something deadly, I would fully expect them to keep at it.
You're right. I've had more time to think about it and I'm guessing that either the doctor would have called personally (she actually called me personally before, when I seen her ar a wall-in clinic for something far less urgent than what I'm imagining) or of she was too busy, then she'd at least have had the receptionist communicate that an urgent appointment was needed.
My father had testicular cancer years ago, and like you and Fish mentioned, as soon as the US showed something sinister, he was rushed to the hospital and seen an oncologist.
Finally got through to the doctors office, and it turns out my liver enzymes were slightly high. The note said "this is most likely not of any significance, but please advise him to return for a repeat blood test in 6 weeks".
While I'm relieved in a sense, I'm now a little concerned despite the doctor's note that it's likely not significant. Obviously cancer is on my mind again,but I'm mainly wondering if anyone had similar results?
Finally got through to the doctors office, and it turns out my liver enzymes were slightly high. The note said "this is most likely not of any significance, but please advise him to return for a repeat blood test in 6 weeks".
While I'm relieved in a sense, I'm now a little concerned despite the doctor's note that it's likely not significant. Obviously cancer is on my mind again,but I'm mainly wondering if anyone had similar results?
See my post above - this is exactly what happened to me. As I say, it was totally clear second time. They're just dotting i's and crossing t's. That's the problem with full blood tests, something will be slightly up or slightly down and give you more reason to worry.
See my post above - this is exactly what happened to me. As I say, it was totally clear second time. They're just dotting i's and crossing t's. That's the problem with full blood tests, something will be slightly up or slightly down and give you more reason to worry.
Haha I remembered your post as soon as I hit reply. Oops.
I did some reading about what causes a slightly elevated level, and it turns out that acetaminophen is a common factor. Thing is, I'd been sucking back Neo Citrans like crazy in the days leading up to the blood test since I had come down with a really bad cold. Guessing that's the culprit.
Hiyer,
Came on to see what the outcome of your tests were. Not sure what the drugs are you refer to, but guess its some flu/cold type thing. So, that all sounds good doesn't it, bI should think they are ok next time, like axolotyl. As was said above, we could all have elevated levels of this and that, coming and going, all the time - but we don't know as aren't tested. Blissful ignorance . :)
Hiyer,
Came on to see what the outcome of your tests were. Not sure what the drugs are you refer to, but guess its some flu/cold type thing. So, that all sounds good doesn't it, bI should think they are ok next time, like axolotyl. As was said above, we could all have elevated levels of this and that, coming and going, all the time - but we don't know as aren't tested. Blissful ignorance . :)
Yep, it's basically another term for Tylenol. There's a bunch of it in each pack of Neo Citran
So now I'm starting to think I have an enlarged liver. I keep feeling under and around my ribs over and over. I was doing pretty good the last few days, but as I've had time to think, my HA has gotten worse again.
Sorry to keep reposting btw
So now I'm starting to think I have an enlarged liver. I keep feeling under and around my ribs over and over. I was doing pretty good the last few days, but as I've had time to think, my HA has gotten worse again.
Sorry to keep reposting btw
You're not trained to have any idea what an enlarged liver feels like, all you'll do is make yourself sore. Try and leave it be.
As above ^^^
The results were 'slightly high' and 'probably of no significance', so (and I'm a lay person about livers lol) I am guessing that this is a very minimal amount that doesn't sound like 'enlarged liver' territory. Besides, if you had an enlarged liver you would have multiple other fairly obvious symptoms, and would surely be showing signs of ill health - which you and your GP have not noticed. :doh:
As above ^^^
The results were 'slightly high' and 'probably of no significance', so (and I'm a lay person about livers lol) I am guessing that this is a very minimal amount that doesn't sound like 'enlarged liver' territory. Besides, if you had an enlarged liver you would have multiple other fairly obvious symptoms, and would surely be showing signs of ill health - which you and your GP have not noticed. :doh:
I called my mom earlier today (nurse of over 10 years) to tell her what I'm going through with this worry and she said "I bet this is fatty liver, you eat nothing but garbage". Then she rattled off multiple people who she knows who have it including my aunt and grandfather. She also told me some stories of patients she's seen with liver cancer... it doesn't sound pretty.
I'm still a little concerned about the tightness around my rib on the right side. Even though I didn't notice anything until I was told about the enzymes,I'm guessing its psychosomatic... but my irrational brain insists its pressure from a large and diseased liver...
MyNameIsTerry
22-10-18, 01:41
So, that all sounds good doesn't it, bI should think they are ok next time, like axolotyl.
Sounds like a drug. :D Side effects include getting a bit scaly and the urge to slurp small insects. :D
I had elevated liver enzymes once that sent me in a spiral until the recheck. My doctor told me it was likely nothing to worry about and to stop taking all vitamins, herbs, medications for a week before the next test as they can all skew results. I did and the test came back normal.
Yeah, that was rather odd reading back what I posted....very bad grammar! :blush:
I had elevated liver enzymes once that sent me in a spiral until the recheck. My doctor told me it was likely nothing to worry about and to stop taking all vitamins, herbs, medications for a week before the next test as they can all skew results. I did and the test came back normal.
I've also heard these tests can be pretty sensitive.
I've actually been back to the doctor in a bit of a panic. She went through all of the blood work and besides the slight elevation in ALT, all else is normal. She said nothing about the results concerns her.
Obviously that wasn't much comfort to a severe hypochondriac like myself, so she offered an early re-test and ordered an ultrasound "to give me peace of mind when the results come back clear".
I had both done on wednesday, but I've been a nervous wreck since the ultrasound. I keep staring at my phone expecting an urgent call about some tumors they found on the scan or something. During the actual procedure the tech sighed once and I was thinking "there it is, she found it!", or when she would stay at one spot for a long time I would be certain something sinister was found. Then I got up when it was over and she had a smile and told me to have a nice day.
The emergency call hasn't come yet, but I made the mistake of looking at the ultrasound images when I was leaving, and I was sure it didn't look right.
I'm really nervous that the urgent call is coming. My anxiety is through the roof.
"Told Ya So Gang" on standby ;) Hopefully the additional clear results will quell the worry.
Positive thoughts
The emergency call hasn't come yet, but I made the mistake of looking at the ultrasound images when I was leaving, and I was sure it didn't look right. Oh right.....
you've had years of medical training have you to read ultrasounds?? :roflmao:Come ooonnnnnnnnn, not only can you read them like a medically trained professional, but you can read them in a quick flash of an eye glance ! (mind, now you will come back and tell me you ARE a medically trained professional and a rdaiologist to boot LOLOL)
Oh right.....
you've had years of medical training have you to read ultrasounds?? :roflmao:Come ooonnnnnnnnn, not only can you read them like a medically trained professional, but you can read them in a quick flash of an eye glance ! (mind, now you will come back and tell me you ARE a medically trained professional and a rdaiologist to boot LOLOL)
LOL I wish I was a radiologist. I'd certainly be making more than I am currently.
Part of me says that if they found something as sinister as I'm imagining, the tech would immediately alert the radiologist, and they'd be back with the results straight away suggesting immediate care, further tests, etc, and not sitting on it for the last two days. But then my anxious side doubts that rationale, and thinks that maybe they just don't care or are too swamped to expedite my scans.
ordered an ultrasound "to give me peace of mind when the results come back clear".
Ah haaaaaaa
So, you aren't a radiologist, so what on earth would you know from glancing at an image .....:roflmao:Stop trying to analyse the face and gestures of a radiologist - they are trained to give nothing away, either good or bad. I know this, as I've tried to 'find stuff out' from looking at every single possible cue during radiology appts. Same applies to having had a phone call yet or not - there is nothing in it either way. Nothing. Remind yourself all the positive things you've already been told, get on with your life....results will come when they come, and no amount of stressing now will make the blindest bit of difference. You might as well save your adrenaline as flooding yourself with it, will make NOooooo difference at all. :winks:
Ah haaaaaaa
So, you aren't a radiologist, so what on earth would you know from glancing at an image .....:roflmao:Stop trying to analyse the face and gestures of a radiologist - they are trained to give nothing away, either good or bad. I know this, as I've tried to 'find stuff out' from looking at every single possible cue during radiology appts. Same applies to having had a phone call yet or not - there is nothing in it either way. Nothing. Remind yourself all the positive things you've already been told, get on with your life....results will come when they come, and no amount of stressing now will make the blindest bit of difference. You might as well save your adrenaline as flooding yourself with it, will make NOooooo difference at all. :winks:
I guess what I'm saying is, is that if the tech seen something was off (like a tumor riddled liver), it likely would have been flagged and shown to the radiologist ASAP... leading to me getting an urgent call from my doc who ordered the test.
Does that make sense, or am I just trying too hard to calm my self down?
Just a quick update on this whole stupid thing:
My clinic was closed today, so I couldn't call to get an appointment or get my US results. So, since I was working myself into a panic over whether or not the doc actually got my US results over the past week and a half (in my current state, I have a hard time accepting that nothing is wrong, so my rationale was: "well, instead of having a clear US, the doc obviously just didn't receive the results, so that's why she didnt call yet, because the results HAVE to have shown something very sinister), I chose to call the clinic where the US was performed to confirm that the US was actually sent.
The receptionist told me that the US was sent the next day, so she seemed surprised that I wasn't contacted. This initially made me nervous, because I'm thinking "well, why does she think I HAD to have been contacted by now? Did she see a note that indicates something sinister? Or is she just wondering why I'm calling, assuming a mistake was made on their end?". I tend to go in loops like that.
I also pressed for the results, and she was kind of tentative at first, saying things like "what can tell you...? Well, it wouldn't be anything that should worry you I think. But you should talk to your doctor and see what she says." So I pressed a bit more: "was it normal?" "Well, it doesn't actually say 'normal', but it's not 'abnormal' either". "Ok,are there any notes or anything?" "Well, it just says that you have a simple cyst on the right kidney. But I shouldn't be telling you this." "That was the only note?" "Well, there's a whole report, but that's the only note. I really shouldn't be telling you this. So your doctor should talk to you. Please don't tell them I told you anything."
So, I guess that should put me at ease right? I'm not really concerned at all about the kidney cyst, but I'm more just wondering if the receptionist was hiding something from me. Like she kind of stopped short of telling me it was fine. Maybe there were some sinister results that she didnt have the heart to tell me, which is why she kept emphasizing that I speak to my doc. Or maybe the fax didnt go through and the doc never received anything. All of these what ifs are swirling around.
Heading in Monday during their walk-in hours to hopefully get a full debrief on the blood test and US results.
Hypo not to sound mean or unsympathetic to what you're going through, but you put that receptionist in a position where she could lose her job. That's so not cool.
If she had to tell you "don't tell anyone I told you".. it was wrong. I'm positive she crossed that line because you pushed her for information and she felt bad for you.
Believe me, I get the anxiety waiting for test results but don't we have to think of others too and how our anxiety affects them?
Hey everyone,
Been posting a lot lately about my fears of liver/pancreatic cancer, and my tests etc.
So, to keep the background short, I'm 32 yr old male, non-smoker, barely overweight, but eat very horribly. What set this whole panic off initially was receiving a call about slightly elevated ALT levels, which led me to believe my liver was full of tumors. Over the course of my obsessive googling, I came across a story of a guy who had pancreatic cancer, and his only symptoms were slightly elevated liver enzymes and severe fatigue. This cycle of pancreatic/liver cancer fear has been exhausting, and I just had a repeat blood test and an abdominal ultrasound to hopefully put my mind at ease.
Both came back clear, including the imaging of my liver and pancreas. This should be enough to calm normal people down.
However, I read that US is not the preferred method of viewing the pancreas, and that small tumors can go unnoticed because it's so deep in the abdomen. I've also also had lighter brown stools that are kind of fluffy looking and float (I've had this in the past I think) and have been passing,once a day at most, a oval shaped yellowish object that is white inside and has a soft texture when cut open (I take generic effexor XR every morning). I also noticed today that one of my bowel movements looked like it had a slight oily film to it or something (I'm in such a rabbit hole that I'm studying my stools intensely now). I don't know what else to do now that my abdominal US was clear, or what else I can do to calm down.
Has anyone else suffered this before? I'm terrified that the oily film/soft oval shaped object and lighter brown stools are due to lots of fat not being absorbed, meaning that my pancreas is shutting down and cancerous.
I know this might be far fetched given my age, but I'm panicking nonetheless
Hey everyone,
Been posting a lot lately about my fears of liver/pancreatic cancer, and my tests etc.
So, to keep the background short, I'm 32 yr old male, non-smoker, barely overweight, but eat very horribly. What set this whole panic off initially was receiving a call about slightly elevated ALT levels, which led me to believe my liver was full of tumors. Over the course of my obsessive googling, I came across a story of a guy who had pancreatic cancer, and his only symptoms were slightly elevated liver enzymes and severe fatigue. This cycle of pancreatic/liver cancer fear has been exhausting, and I just had a repeat blood test and an abdominal ultrasound to hopefully put my mind at ease.
Both came back clear, including the imaging of my liver and pancreas. This should be enough to calm normal people down.
However, I read that US is not the preferred method of viewing the pancreas, and that small tumors can go unnoticed because it's so deep in the abdomen. I've also also had lighter brown stools that are kind of fluffy looking and float (I've had this in the past I think) and have been passing,once a day at most, a oval shaped yellowish object that is white inside and has a soft texture when cut open (I take generic effexor XR every morning). I also noticed today that one of my bowel movements looked like it had a slight oily film to it or something (I'm in such a rabbit hole that I'm studying my stools intensely now). I don't know what else to do now that my abdominal US was clear, or what else I can do to calm down.
Has anyone else suffered this before? I'm terrified that the oily film/soft oval shaped object and lighter brown stools are due to lots of fat not being absorbed, meaning that my pancreas is shutting down and cancerous.
I know this might be far fetched given my age, but I'm panicking nonetheless
A few hours ago, I talked to a GI doctor about stomach and pancreatic cancer fears. He told me the floating/sinking stool thing is an internet thing only. He told me if it's PC, you will see very dramatic weight loss (think 30 pounds in a month) and pain in the center of your abdomen that's constant. He said if there were very dramatic changes in bowel movements or if the pain/discomfort is associated with bowel movements then they'd do further testing (e.g., CT scan).
What can strangers on an internet anxiety forum say to you that would reassure you more than the medical professionals? :shrug:
Positive thoughts
What can strangers on an internet anxiety forum say to you that would reassure you more than the medical professionals? :shrug:
Positive thoughts
That's a fair point. I'm pretty deep into this rabbit hole, and not always able to think rationally.
Kingdawson
06-11-18, 21:19
Floating/sinking stools is a total myth. When I eat like shit and drink shit loads of alcohol it sinks...but when I eat healthy it floats. Total and utter myth.
Floating/sinking stools is a total myth. When I eat like shit and drink shit loads of alcohol it sinks...but when I eat healthy it floats. Total and utter myth.
Yeah, I second this. If I eat a lot of broccoli they could be used as life preservers. If I eat fries and burgers, down they go. I am not sure how that myth started, but the one thing I do know is this:
I know two people who have had pancreatic cancer, one passed from it, one survived. There was ZERO question, with either of them, that something was very, very wrong. It was not subtle, it was not slow, and it was not nice. If their examples are accurate, you would know if you had pc. Period.
Yeah, I second this. If I eat a lot of broccoli they could be used as life preservers. If I eat fries and burgers, down they go. I am not sure how that myth started, but the one thing I do know is this:
I know two people who have had pancreatic cancer, one passed from it, one survived. There was ZERO question, with either of them, that something was very, very wrong. It was not subtle, it was not slow, and it was not nice. If their examples are accurate, you would know if you had pc. Period.
I have a question about that. So, everyone says it's the "silent killer" so I always assumed that meant the symptoms weren't obvious. Or does that just mean that you don't typically feel symptoms until it's gone too far... and when the hit its unmistakable?
everyone says...
Everyone = Dr. Google I assume? Your dragon is holding on for dear life with this fear I'm afraid :lac: Are you doing anything to treat your anxiety?
Positive thoughts
Everyone = Dr. Google I assume? Your dragon is holding on for dear life with this fear I'm afraid :lac: Are you doing anything to treat your anxiety?
Positive thoughts
Yes...
I am. Seeing a CBT Therapist. But it's very expensive and I don't get access as often as I'd like.
I am. Seeing a CBT Therapist.
That a positive :)
it's very expensive and I don't get access as often as I'd like.
You could always work on yourself with this (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=211324) instead of giving in to the impulses.
Positive thoughts
ScaredBBOY
07-11-18, 01:11
Going through this now I’m scared as well got a little reassureance my Ultrasound cameback clear I jus have gallstones but I have lost about 15 pounds in the last 50 days that’s what scares me the most But in the last 40 days I cut out all sodas and red meat but 15 pounds is a bit much I go see a gasto tomorrow I have Gilbert’s syndrome so my bilirubin is always high .... my symptoms are back pain and burping a lot and wieght loss if you google that it’ll come up as three different cancers ... I hate google but I found this forum so it can’t be all bad
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
Elen
So, a little update for those who were kind enough to reply earlier:
What I thought were the lumps of fat are actually my venlafaxine xr tablets. This is gross, but fished one out and it was soft on the outside, but hard and powdery when broken open.
That makes me feel pretty relieved about the situation, and provides some gross evidence that perhaps my pancreas ISN'T failing.
Althiugh I still feel a little uneasy as I've started to notice some off and on dull aches in my upper back around the shoulders. I know it's irrational since my US showed no signs of abnormalities, but I'm starting to associate the full aches with a tumor that wasn't found or something.
It's almost like when one thing triggering the HA relents, another bullshit thing pops up.
Also, Fishman, those books are helpful. On module 5, but its early days, so it's a little difficult to fully put them into practice.
What I thought were the lumps of fat are actually my venlafaxine xr tablets. This is gross, but fished one out and it was soft on the outside, but hard and powdery when broken open
Sorry ? Am I reading this right...you venalafaxine XR are going through your entire system, out into your stools totally undigested?
Sorry ? Am I reading this right...you venalafaxine XR are going through your entire system, out into your stools totally undigested?
Haha yep. So, I cracked open a capsule before taking it this morning, and instead of the usual tiny beads, it's actually two larger white balls. They were the same shape as what I was seeing, just a little smaller. I've read on other forums that people have had the same issue with different extended release pills. But the timing makes sense, I have never had anything but the capsules with the tiny beads, and now that I'm on this weird capsule/tablet hybrid, I all of the sudden start seeing these things coming out.
Gross, but relieving.
Not sure if they're COMPLETELY undigested, but if they aren't staying in my digestive tract long enough (my month long state of severe anxiety has really affected my stomach, as everyone here probably knows), it could help explain my unusually high levels of anxiety if the medicine isnt getting a chance to enter my system.
I'm going to chat with my doc about this and see if I should switch over to the beads again or something.
Haha yep. So, I cracked open a capsule before taking it this morning, and instead of the usual tiny beads, it's actually two larger white balls. They were the same shape as what I was seeing, just a little smaller. I've read on other forums that people have had the same issue with different extended release pills. But the timing makes sense, I have never had anything but the capsules with the tiny beads, and now that I'm on this weird capsule/tablet hybrid, I all of the sudden start seeing these things coming out.
Gross, but relieving.
Not sure if they're COMPLETELY undigested, but if they aren't staying in my digestive tract long enough (my month long state of severe anxiety has really affected my stomach, as everyone here probably knows), it could help explain my unusually high levels of anxiety if the medicine isnt getting a chance to enter my system.
I'm going to chat with my doc about this and see if I should switch over to the beads again or something.
I'm curious as to how you'll bring this up with your doc.
Hypomania: "Hey Doc, I was going through my poo the other day and discovered after some investigation, I found that the extended release pills I'm on don't completely digest."
Doc: :huh: :ohmy:
:winks:
Positive thoughts
Good lord, thats errrr an odd thing :roflmao:
I guess though you don't have to say that you are going through your poo, you just say you saw something before flushing and investigated...and it was.....
Good lord, thats errrr an odd thing :roflmao:
I guess though you don't have to say that you are going through your poo, you just say you saw something before flushing and investigated...and it was.....
I know but still.... :huh: I'd find another way of bringing it up. Just say they're not working as well and ask to go back to the other ones. Then again, I'm sure most taking them, other than those on that forum of others that have obviously gone through their poo and discovered the same thing, don't dissect their poo.
I don't know... Poo dissection and examination is something that just baffles me. I'm like a cat in that respect. Go, flush and get away from the stank :roflmao:
Positive thoughts
I'm curious as to how you'll bring this up with your doc.
Hypomania: "Hey Doc, I was going through my poo the other day and discovered after some investigation, I found that the extended release pills I'm on don't completely digest."
Doc: :huh: :ohmy:
:winks:
Positive thoughts
Haha I know... going to be awkward to say the least.
Maybe I'll just say it was so undigested that the dosage printing was still on the side or something haha
Haha I know... going to be awkward to say the least.
Maybe I'll just say it was so undigested that the dosage printing was still on the side or something haha
I know I'm kinda making light of it but in reality, if your anxiety is causing you to pick your poo out of the toilet and examine it, you should take that as a sign that it's pretty serious. Hey, at least you didn't post pics of it! :scared15: (and yes, that's happened here many times!)
Positive thoughts
I know I'm kinda making light of it but in reality, if your anxiety is causing you to pick your poo out of the toilet and examine it, you should take that as a sign that it's pretty serious. Hey, at least you didn't post pics of it! :scared15: (and yes, that's happened here many times!)
Positive thoughts
You're 100% right. This has probably been one of the worst periods of health anxiety I've ever gone through.
Pamplemousse
08-11-18, 21:34
So, a little update for those who were kind enough to reply earlier:
What I thought were the lumps of fat are actually my venlafaxine xr tablets. This is gross, but fished one out and it was soft on the outside, but hard and powdery when broken open.
That makes me feel pretty relieved about the situation, and provides some gross evidence that perhaps my pancreas ISN'T failing.
Good Heavens.
You've just done EXACTLY what I did - word for word - a few weeks ago. Only in my case it was Metformin SR I fished out.
I mentioned it to the GP when I was at my lowest and thought I'd also got DKA and he wasn't sure if he'd heard of the former - but the pharmacist I see (who is Irish and absolutely lovely :blush:) had, several times. And when I told her how I discovered this... she cracked up laughing and said I'd cheered her up no end! Luckily, we both could laugh about it by then.
Since my weight loss from anxiety, I've put a good bit of the weight back on. However, I need to get it off again, but I do NOT recommend the method I lost it in the first place!
FMP is right: when you've sunk to the level of rifling through your Richards with your bare hands in the loo you know you need help.
Makes you wonder if this happens more often than you think? I mean I didn't think it was possible, to not digest the outter coating :scared15:
Be careful about opening then up, you aren't meant to do that with slow release capsules, ever.
Good Heavens.
You've just done EXACTLY what I did - word for word - a few weeks ago. Only in my case it was Metformin SR I fished out.
I mentioned it to the GP when I was at my lowest and thought I'd also got DKA and he wasn't sure if he'd heard of the former - but the pharmacist I see (who is Irish and absolutely lovely :blush:) had, several times. And when I told her how I discovered this... she cracked up laughing and said I'd cheered her up no end! Luckily, we both could laugh about it by then.
Since my weight loss from anxiety, I've put a good bit of the weight back on. However, I need to get it off again, but I do NOT recommend the method I lost it in the first place!
FMP is right: when you've sunk to the level of rifling through your Richards with your bare hands in the loo you know you need help.
I actually read your thread from a few weeks ago. Glad your doing well. My doc is a young English woman, who I think will be much less amused by me fishing out a pill lol. I'll probably be forced to switch docs. What's DKA? Your 100% right. I've been in a really desperate place for the better part of a month and a half.
Carys, I've read that it's more common than you'd think. There's a few forums where people are trying to figure out what they are, and eventually, 50 pages later,some people as desperate as myself bravely go fishing and realize it's a pill. I've also read some studies where docs had misdiagnosed the pills as a parasite, and didn't realize they were "ghost pills" until the patient had a colonoscopy. Apparently, the XR formula causes the pills to swell and slowly releases the meds while in your digestive tract, and can refill with digestive content before being passed if it's not adequately broke down. Such a bizarre phenomenon.
Don't worry, I didnt crush the pill, I just took it as is.
Pamplemousse
08-11-18, 23:51
DKA = Diabetic Ketoacidosis. I'd bought some ketone testing strips when I was put on Dapagliflozin for my diabetes. During my crash, my ketone levels went up to about the level people do when they're on keto diets. That may be have been due to me cutting out a load of carbs because I was trying to lose weight anyway, then hardly eating from the anxiety attacks and then add the effects of the dapagliflozin.
The GP I saw said that if I had got DKA, I'd be really very poorly indeed - and I don't mind admitting there was a tear when he told me I was okay. My long suffering sister also told me after the event the same thing, but she wanted me to hear it from a doctor first (she's in the medical profession too).
Anyway, just tell the doctor you've washed your hands since the incident :D
ScaredBBOY
09-11-18, 00:50
Can someone talk me off this edge I’m on I’m new here and scared of PC ... I have wieght loss 16 pounds in 45 days back pain mainly upper in between the shoulder blades and into the shoulder but lately it’s been all over my back rib pain on both sides that come and go went for a ultrasound that showed that I have gallstones but it said my pancreas looks normal but seems the back pain has increased and I’m even gettin a little nausea strange thing is when I eat the nausea goes away
Can someone talk me off this edge I’m on I’m new here and scared of PC ... I have wieght loss 16 pounds in 45 days back pain mainly upper in between the shoulder blades and into the shoulder but lately it’s been all over my back rib pain on both sides that come and go went for a ultrasound that showed that I have gallstones but it said my pancreas looks normal but seems the back pain has increased and I’m even gettin a little nausea strange thing is when I eat the nausea goes away
All of what you described can be from anxiety (the irony of me telling this to someone else is not lost on me).
Rib pain, I had it. Pain in the shoulders/back, I had it. Weight loss, I've probably lost a bit, but since I've been so anxious I haven't been eating as much as I have, and I'm sure you haven't been either (also, my understanding of weight loss from cancer, and from what I've heard from friends' relatives who have had it, is that the weight loss is MUCH more rapid than 15lbs in 45 days. You stop drinking soda for 45 days and you drop 15lbs).
As I became less anxious my symptoms starting fading away. When you finally come out on the other end, you'll notice that too.
Apparently, the XR formula causes the pills to swell and slowly releases the meds while in your digestive tract, and can refill with digestive content before being passed if it's not adequately broke down. Such a bizarre phenomenon.
....but had the medication come out and been released in your body? I thought you said that there were two little white balls inside/powder?
....but had the medication come out and been released in your body? I thought you said that there were two little white balls inside/powder?
For mine in particular, yeah. But I'm just saying that's what I've read can happen.
I have my doubts that I've been digesting them.properly due to the effect anxiety can have on your stomach.
Oh I see. That s very interesting, as you are right, with some people the gut moves super quick during anxiety and within a few hours it does what should take 24-48 for others.
Oh I see. That s very interesting, as you are right, with some people the gut moves super quick during anxiety and within a few hours it does what should take 24-48 for others.
Yeah, it's insane how much of an effect anxiety has on the body
Pamplemousse
09-11-18, 14:51
To post a postscript to recent events: I was just telephoned by the diabetes nurse whilst I was having my lunch. Before I could get into panic mode, she said "whatever you're doing, keep doing it!".
Apparently my HBa1c level has fallen by 25 points in four months, within sight of "It's managed". So the rising level - what prompted all the panic in the first place, along with the 'fat' - has not just been arrested, but reversed :D
I have the same fears as you. My mum died of pancreatic cancer when she was 25, a week after my 1st birthday. My HA always tells me that every small symptom is pancreatic cancer. I have even paid for 2 private CT scans in the last two years as I've been so convinced that I've had it. Anxiety is s b*tch
Sorry for bumping my old thread, but I think I just need someone to smack me upside the head.
So, I'm deep in the pancan rabbit hole still, and it seems like every time I am able to stop panicking over one "symptom" another pops up.
So, even after a clear ultrasound, I'm still scared that it missed a pancreatic tumor, and for a while I was certain that I wasn't digesting fat. In my last post I realized that was I thought was fat, was actually my generic effexor xr pills.
I then thought that I had sudden onset diabetes because my pancreas failed, but my diabetes "symptoms" subsided. Then, I thought I was seeing an oily film after a bowel movement, but it turned out to be caused by my urine.
For a while I was relieved, then I noticed again that there was a bit of undigested white food in my stool, and I am back to thinking that my pancreas is no longer producing digestive enzymes, either because it's very damaged, or a tumor is blocking the duct that sends the enzymes to the intestines.
How crazy is this fear? I sincerely think that I have a tumor that developed exactly where the end of the duct is, that is just big enough to halt digestion,but small enough to not be detected.
I woke up this morning on the verge of a panic attack over this.
I think I just need someone to smack me upside the head.
How crazy is this fear?
https://media.giphy.com/media/wZiBGZpd28p0tIsEa5/giphy.gif
Consider yourself smacked! :winks:
Positive thoughts
https://media.giphy.com/media/wZiBGZpd28p0tIsEa5/giphy.gif
Consider yourself smacked! :winks:
Positive thoughts
Haha is that a Kardashian?
Haha is that a Kardashian?
Looks like Kim talking to Kanye ~lol~
Positive thoughts
Sorry to bug everyone again, but I'm finding it so hard to shake the feeling that something's really wrong.
I have that muscle tightness feeling around my bottom right ribs. I only felt it after I received the initial call from the doc's office over a month ago regarding my abnormal blood tests, and it hasn't gotten worse,but it hasn't really improved either.
My rational mind, when it works, says its anxiety and muscle tension, but I can't stop thinking "what if it's a tumor growing on my pancreas"
Sorry you're still struggling with this :weep: I don't know what can be said that hasn't been said already. Perhaps reading the replies you've gotten so far will help?
Positive thoughts
Sorry you're still struggling with this :weep: I don't know what can be said that hasn't been said already. Perhaps reading the replies you've gotten so far will help?
Positive thoughts
Thanks man. I'm trying to be positive and think about this rationally, but it's tough. It's just at the point where both my wits end and everyone else is exhausted in terms of what to say about this now.
ScaredBBOY
16-11-18, 18:59
I am still struggling with this as well back pain still there and still comes and goes ..how can this be anxiety when I don’t really feel anxious many trips to the dr ultrasound clear for the most part ... my relationship is failing apart and I can’t be good at my job I’m a teacher... all because of my worry yesterday I had bad chest pain wanted to go to the ER but the last three times I went I was dismissed with nothin but tellin me it’s gerd and anxiety and didn’t go I’m so scared of cancer it controls me smh some days are better some days are worst But I pray we will get through this sooner than later
I am still struggling with this as well back pain still there and still comes and goes ..how can this be anxiety when I don’t really feel anxious many trips to the dr ultrasound clear for the most part ... my relationship is failing apart and I can’t be good at my job I’m a teacher... all because of my worry yesterday I had bad chest pain wanted to go to the ER but the last three times I went I was dismissed with nothin but tellin me it’s gerd and anxiety and didn’t go I’m so scared of cancer it controls me smh some days are better some days are worst But I pray we will get through this sooner than later
To me it sounds like you're pretty anxious, to be honest. And what do you mean that your ultrasound was clear "for the most part"?
I can relate to you though. Yeaterday was actually a good day for me, where I spent a lot of the day actually convinced I was fine...then this morning I woke up incredibly anxious and shaking, and have been feeling pretty down, back to thinking there's something wrong.
I have none of the hallmark symptoms, and my US was also clear, but sometimes I'll get a short lived dull pain in my abdomen and think "well,there it is. It's only a matter of time before it becomes constant and excruciating"
woaidelrey
17-11-18, 17:34
If the US test came back clear, why are you still worried? I thought ultrasound can actually see pancreas pretty clearly!
To me it sounds like you're pretty anxious, to be honest. And what do you mean that your ultrasound was clear "for the most part"?
I can relate to you though. Yeaterday was actually a good day for me, where I spent a lot of the day actually convinced I was fine...then this morning I woke up incredibly anxious and shaking, and have been feeling pretty down, back to thinking there's something wrong.
I have none of the hallmark symptoms, and my US was also clear, but sometimes I'll get a short lived dull pain in my abdomen and think "well,there it is. It's only a matter of time before it becomes constant and excruciating"
Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk
If the US test came back clear, why are you still worried? I thought ultrasound can actually see pancreas pretty clearly!
Sent from my ONEPLUS A6003 using Tapatalk
I think it does with most people (depending on bodyweight, if gas from the stomach is obstructing the pancreas, etc), but my friend Dr. Google has told me that it can miss small tumors less than 1-2cm. So obviously I just fixate on that. Even though if my US did actually miss a tumor, it would in all likelihood not be causing me any symptoms anyway... so whatever "symptoms" I do feel would not be from the missed "tumor". I even asked a doctor about the effectiveness of the US that scanned my abdomen, and she said it was one of the preferred methods of looking at the pancreas and that I should be very reassured that it was clean. Nope, I'll stick to my primary physician,Dr. Google.
But I'm a classic HA case, where I could get more sophisticated tests and still find a reason to doubt the results. I'm not even pushing for more, because I know there's a study out there that will just tell me that a CT, MRI, etc etc isnt 100% accurate either. Plus there's the likely unnecessary anxiety while I'm waiting for the results.
ScaredBBOY
17-11-18, 22:09
When I say for the most part the US said I had sludge in my gallbladder and questionable stones said all my other organs look normal including my pancreas ...
I guess I’m always anxious but back in 2013 when I first had my panic attack I knew it was anxiety these other symptoms jus make me think otherwise ... today started off as a bad day but now I’m okay I hate taking meds my doc prescribed me some Xanax low doses I’m scared as hell to take them I actually had a normal panic attack today I recognized it as jus anxiety and it went away after a few minutes ..... also been lookin into fibro thinkin that maybe my problem because all of the pain all over but I’m not claiming no illness I think that’s a step in th right direction for me ... still burping a lot hoping this Prilosec can heal my GERD
woaidelrey
17-11-18, 23:05
I had my abdominal ultrasound around 3 weeks ago. All were clear.
With regards to pancreas, on the report it said "The imaged portion of the pancreas appears within normal limits, without masses or pancreatic ductal dilation, with portions of the pancreatic tail obscured by overlying bowel gas."
I was thinking to myself, i have already done what i could which was going to get an ultrasound. It is unlikely for people my age get pancreas CA anyways and I have done the tests. If really... ultrasound even missed something, then it was my fate. After thinking in that way, i felt instantly better because i felt that i have done everything i could at this point, combined with the low possiblity, i moved on pretty quickly.
I think it does with most people (depending on bodyweight, if gas from the stomach is obstructing the pancreas, etc), but my friend Dr. Google has told me that it can miss small tumors less than 1-2cm. So obviously I just fixate on that. Even though if my US did actually miss a tumor, it would in all likelihood not be causing me any symptoms anyway... so whatever "symptoms" I do feel would not be from the missed "tumor". I even asked a doctor about the effectiveness of the US that scanned my abdomen, and she said it was one of the preferred methods of looking at the pancreas and that I should be very reassured that it was clean. Nope, I'll stick to my primary physician,Dr. Google.
But I'm a classic HA case, where I could get more sophisticated tests and still find a reason to doubt the results. I'm not even pushing for more, because I know there's a study out there that will just tell me that a CT, MRI, etc etc isnt 100% accurate either. Plus there's the likely unnecessary anxiety while I'm waiting for the results.
I had my abdominal ultrasound around 3 weeks ago. All were clear.
With regards to pancreas, on the report it said "The imaged portion of the pancreas appears within normal limits, without masses or pancreatic ductal dilation, with portions of the pancreatic tail obscured by overlying bowel gas."
I was thinking to myself, i have already done what i could which was going to get an ultrasound. It is unlikely for people my age get pancreas CA anyways and I have done the tests. If really... ultrasound even missed something, then it was my fate. After thinking in that way, i felt instantly better because i felt that i have done everything i could at this point, combined with the low possiblity, i moved on pretty quickly.
I don't know what mine said about the pancreas specifically, the GP who relayed the info to me just told me that they were able to image the pancreas and it was the normal size and had no abnormalities etc.
The fact that I lack hallmark symptoms and the chances of me actually having it are so rare makes me feel better temporarily,but then I'll feel like a slight abdominal crampnor something and get taken right back to the anxious thoughts.
Hey everyone,
Been posting a lot lately about my fears of liver/pancreatic cancer, and my tests etc.
So, to keep the background short, I'm 32 yr old male, non-smoker, barely overweight, but eat very horribly. What set this whole panic off initially was receiving a call about slightly elevated ALT levels, which led me to believe my liver was full of tumors. Over the course of my obsessive googling, I came across a story of a guy who had pancreatic cancer, and his only symptoms were slightly elevated liver enzymes and severe fatigue. This cycle of pancreatic/liver cancer fear has been exhausting, and I just had a repeat blood test and an abdominal ultrasound to hopefully put my mind at ease.
Both came back clear, including the imaging of my liver and pancreas. This should be enough to calm normal people down.
However, I read that US is not the preferred method of viewing the pancreas, and that small tumors can go unnoticed because it's so deep in the abdomen. I've also also had lighter brown stools that are kind of fluffy looking and float (I've had this in the past I think) and have been passing,once a day at most, a oval shaped yellowish object that is white inside and has a soft texture when cut open (I take generic effexor XR every morning). I also noticed today that one of my bowel movements looked like it had a slight oily film to it or something (I'm in such a rabbit hole that I'm studying my stools intensely now). I don't know what else to do now that my abdominal US was clear, or what else I can do to calm down.
Has anyone else suffered this before? I'm terrified that the oily film/soft oval shaped object and lighter brown stools are due to lots of fat not being absorbed, meaning that my pancreas is shutting down and cancerous.
I know this might be far fetched given my age, but I'm panicking nonetheless
I get this oily film thing!! I have to actually use a torch to see it but...: :wacko:
Totally made me panic, but I noticed my kids get it too, and they def don’t have pancreatic cancer.
I get this oily film thing!! I have to actually use a torch to see it but...: :wacko:
Totally made me panic, but I noticed my kids get it too, and they def don’t have pancreatic cancer.
oh man, I ended up doing the same thing, examining with a flashlight to see if it was there, I panicked when I first seen it as well... then later on I was like "wait, how do I know that's not just from my urine". And it was... go figure.
It obviously isn't oil now that I think about it, as an oily film would have a salad dressing like look to it (oil droplets, etc). God bless health anxiety.
---------- Post added at 17:28 ---------- Previous post was at 14:52 ----------
OK, so I just wanted to share my most recent thought process over my current battle with pancreatic/liver cancer fears. Sorry, it's a little long winded, and might repeat a few things briefly. But maybe taking a similar approach could help someone else, maybe not, but I feel like I need to get this out here. This is a good example of how catastrophic thinking can occur with a bit of misinterpreted information from googling. Also, trigger warning for those reading in a panic right now, as I list some of the symptoms I thought I had etc. But hoping this may be helpful for those who are going through the same fears I am, and suffering the same "symptoms".
I don't know why, but I find it so hard to let go of, even with the overwhelming evidence/odds in my favor. I'm guessing it's just a worry about cancer in general, or the fact that it has such a poor prognosis and is usually "silent". Or maybe, it's because there are some factors that I can't control that can lead to me catching this disease, no matter how many lifestyle changes I could make, and maybe, that leads to a deeper seated issue with fearing the consequences of things I can't control (this fits a trend with my other anxieties: fear of flying, highway driving with others behind the wheel, the safety of my immediate family in other areas, the health of others etc). I'm not 100% sure, but either way I wanted to get some takes on my current thoughts about why I don't have anything wrong with me (besides a persistent anxiety disorder, of course).
Feel free to tell me if you think I'm insane, as I kind of felt like a conspiracy theorist connecting red yard together on a pressboard between unrelated events. Regardless, I went through this in my head many times yesterday and felt a bit closer to being at ease, and part of my reason for sharing this is maybe because I need to see it written down somewhere as a reminder.
Anyway, here goes:
So, I've since had more lucid moments now that I'm on a slightly higher dose of Effexor (and also off those stupid tablets that I was shitting out), so I was able to think somewhat rationally. I've decided to take a facts based approach to my current cancer (probably my 5th or 6th since I started becoming anxious about my health when I was younger), and compare that to a timeline of what set off this current obsession, how it's progressed, and how it just doesn't make sense in light of the facts we all know as obsessive hypochondriacs who have spent unhealthy amounts of time researching signs, symptoms, and stories of pancreatic cancer (and many many other types).
So, it all started with that call about a slightly elevated enzyme (my ALT was only a couple points above normal). I immediately made the jump to cancer, and began googling like crazy, and found that elevated enzymes can sometimes be indicative of malignancy (despite the fact that my doctor said it would be much more elevated, and other enzymes would need to be elevated as well, to indicate something actually serious). Now, I'm all of the sudden feeling a "sensitivity", "fullness", or a "tightness" around the bottom of my right ribcage. I can now notice every time the fabric of my shirt brushes against that area, or if I suck my stomach in it feels different on that side. There's no pain, or even really what I'd describe as discomfort, but just an "awareness" of sensation. I'm now believing that my liver is swollen, which is causing this sensation, despite the sensation coincidentally popping up the day of getting the call from the doc. This sensation is getting worse as I start to constantly feel around this area, and try to dig my fingers under the ribcage to asses the size of my liver, which I'm obviously not trained to do.
I'm now googling "liver enzymes cancer" constantly, despite reading everything there is to find about it. I then come across a story about a guy who had elevated liver enzymes but turned out to have pancreatic cancer. Despite the fact that my doctor has said that she's never ever heard of ANY INSTANCE of pancreatic cancer presenting with only a mildly elevated ALT level, I then make the unshakable link between my abnormal blood test result and having pancan (turns out, this guy had many other symptoms as well, and multiple elevated enzymes, but that didn't matter to me in my panicked state). Coming back from holiday, I read a story about a guy who had diarrhea, jaundice, itching, etc etc and think: "I had diarrhea on my flight home... this can't be a coincidence!" Despite the fact that I was recently in a third world country practicing poor hygiene, and again, didn't display any hallmark symptoms. Nonetheless, I'm now thinking that I must have late stage pancan, with a spread to the liver. It's the only thing that makes sense!
When I'm home, I immediately go to the doc and ask for a read of the full blood panel. Nothing is amiss besides the ALT, and she reiterates it's nothing to be concerned about. She says that she anticipates a re-test would show the level dropping to normal. I tell her I'm worried about liver cancer. She looks confused and explains that I don't have that. I then ask about pancan, she again looks confused and tells me that no one has EVER presented with only elevated ALT. She orders an ultrasound and repeat blood test to prove to me I'm fine. I agree to them both knowing that I'll likely be satisfied for the very short term.
Both are clear: the US showed no abnormalities in the liver or pancreas, and my ALT levels are back to normal. I tell the doc about how I'm seeing small yellow orbs in my stool, she says "it's probably fat, it'll pass". Joy that lasted all but a day. Now I'm convinced that the US missed my pancreas, and I have a small tumor that the US couldn't see, obviously causing my pancreas to stop digesting fats.
As the days go on, I'm convinced that I'm losing weight, have no appetite, constantly checking my eyes for jaundice, checking my stools for oil/undigested foods/consistency/those weird balls, and those short lived dull pains that come and go in my body/abdomen are referred pain from a pancreatic tumor. I even think that when I get bloated after eating like garbage (when I do decide to eat) that the "tumor" has invaded my small intestine and blocked it off, not allowing food to go through. When I feel the pain I'm constantly bending to test to see if it gets relieved, then I'll lay down to see if it gets worse. As I gain access to a scale while visiting family and see that I have remained the same weight since August. I remember that my bilirubin is normal (making it impossible to have jaundice). My pains could be from many things, likely the fact that I've been a tense ball of stress for 2 months at this point, the least likely thing being pancan or a swollen liver (which was already shown to be normal size via US). I have no appetite because I'm anxious/depressed and don't feel like eating, despite the fact that I'm feeling very hungry. The "oil" I see in my stool is actually just normal urine, my stools are a little loose because I'm anxious as hell constantly, and the undigested food is just normal little bits here and there that we all get on occasion. The yellow balls turned out to be undigested Effexor. Despite this, I'm on a constant rollercoaster of thoughts like "oh, that's not what I thought it was, I'm fine, thank God", then to finding something new or recycled to worry about, "oh ****, that may not have been oil, but that's definitely a bit of food in there... obviously my pancreas is no longer working".
I'm back to see another doctor about increasing my medication, because, A) I'm not sure if it's digesting properly, and B) if it is, I'm not sure if it's working as well as it used to, because this is one of the worst periods of anxiety I've ever suffered through. I also ask if the ultrasound is actually reliable. She flatly says yes, be reassured you're fine.
That was roughly 2 months since I received that call about the ALT levels. All the while I have not developed any symptoms
So here are the facts that I use to talk myself off the ledge when I'm feeling worried about the above:
1) I'm 32. The average age of pancan diagnosis is 71. In Canada, they don't even have a statistic for new cases in my age group. In the UK there's less than 25 cases in my age group over the span of a 2 year period. In the US people in my age group account for 0.7% of new cases annually.
2) The only time I've read about the association with elevated liver enzymes and pancan, is when it spreads to the liver. Also, MULTIPLE enzymes are elevated, not just ALT. Only my ALT was raised, very marginally, and has since gone back to normal. Something that wouldn't happen if I had untreated secondary liver cancer.
3) My ultrasound was clear. Further showing no proof of malignancy, and rules out the possibility of a pancan spread to the liver.
4) My blood tests were also clear. This includes LFT, blood sugars, lipase and amalayse (digestive enzymes), CPC, etc. Though not always the case, pancan would likely have skewed some of these results... at least it would have if my pancreas were actually as damaged as I thought it was.
5) Malabsorption occurs when either you're pancreas is 90% destroyed, or a tumor blocks the ducts. In either case, the malabsorption is very severe and has unmistakable symptoms, such as frequent frequent liquid diarrhea, weight loss, malnutrition, and possibly diabetes. I don't have them.
6) (this is the one I find most convincing) Given that my blood was taken on Sept.29, it's probably safe to assume that IF I actually had pancan, the disease would have been in my system for quite a while, and in a late stage, as my liver enzyme count would have been a result from liver damage due to spreading. Knowing how quickly this awful disease moves, in the time period outlined above, I'd likely be very very sick by now, or at least would have developed a symptom in the almost 2 months I've been worried about this. I still have no jaundice, no severe pain of any kind, no fatigue, no nothing. From what I can tell, when these symptoms pop-up, they move quick, and don't chill out on your liver for a few months and then decide to attack. At least I hope they don't...
Anyway, I hope this post doesn't violate any rules or anything because it outlines some stuff I've googled, and I really hope no one was triggered by it. But I feel like I just needed to get this in writing as a form of therapy for me, and everyone here has been so helpful, so I wanted to share.
That actually read like a case study in my health anxiety self help book. You are literally a text book case!!!
You don’t have pancreatic cancer. But I totally relate to your worry. It’s one of the curses of HA that we have more medical tests than other people, and if you have enough tests some of the results, sometimes, are going to be a bit “off”. It’s just a numbers game. It’s happened to me many times. Blood levels occasionally being a little outside the norm, breast lumps discovered during (unnecessary) scans and, most terrifyingly, lung nodules discovered during a self referred CT scan. Why oh why do we do it to ourselves?!?!
That actually read like a case study in my health anxiety self help book. You are literally a text book case!!!
You don’t have pancreatic cancer. But I totally relate to your worry. It’s one of the curses of HA that we have more medical tests than other people, and if you have enough tests some of the results, sometimes, are going to be a bit “off”. It’s just a numbers game. It’s happened to me many times. Blood levels occasionally being a little outside the norm, breast lumps discovered during (unnecessary) scans and, most terrifyingly, lung nodules discovered during a self referred CT scan. Why oh why do we do it to ourselves?!?!
Why did you get a CT sxan, if you don't mind me asking?
I get unbearable scanxiety after a test, so I'm not sure I could handle another one
Scanxiety. Love it!!
I had the scan because I had a tickle in my throat and thought I had lung cancer. This would sound mad to anyone but those with the most severe of health anxiety disorders (hands up). I self referred, of course, which you can do in London if you pay. Anyway, four tiny nodules were discovered. Suggested follow up in 12 months time. I totally FREAKED OUT and begged to speak to the radiologist. Who said “oh it’s fine, nothing, bla bla bla”... then the parting shot “it wouldn’t be lung cancer anyway. The only (ONLY! ONLY!!!!!) sinister thing it could be is metastasis from somewhere else in your body. But it’s not that, ha ha ha, because you’d be ill”
Can you imagine what that did to my HA brain?!?! After that every little niggle was the cancer for which I already had secondaries. Anyway, eventually 12 months passed and the nodules were proved to be benign. I bloody hate HA
Good old "incidental findings"...The perils of scans which may not be necessary in the first place...
Worrywart84
20-11-18, 22:48
Your description of your HA thought process and how it continued to be fueled by Google is literally my life. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks this way (not that the way we think is right.)
Your description of your HA thought process and how it continued to be fueled by Google is literally my life. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks this way (not that the way we think is right.)
For sure. I wouldn't wish this anxiety disorder on anybody
ScaredBBOY
01-12-18, 17:53
I’m so scared right now with fear of PC all my symptoms come back this weak with avenges I’ve now lost 18 pounds in 2 months back pain check right and left rib pain check indigestion check and chest pain but I don’t feel like it’s acid reflux .. stomach feels funny but really don’t have any stomach pains worst thing ever is my company. Is changing insurance so right now I count even make a doc appointment so I’m left to just stay in panic and fear
Only test I had done was ultrasound that showed sludge and stones in gallbladder everything else was normal
Blood test all normal elevated bilirubin but I have Gilbert’s so it’s always high but it was the same as it has been since 2010 so not higher
What other test do I need done
I’m so scared right now with fear of PC all my symptoms come back this weak with avenges I’ve now lost 18 pounds in 2 months back pain check right and left rib pain check indigestion check and chest pain but I don’t feel like it’s acid reflux .. stomach feels funny but really don’t have any stomach pains worst thing ever is my company. Is changing insurance so right now I count even make a doc appointment so I’m left to just stay in panic and fear
Only test I had done was ultrasound that showed sludge and stones in gallbladder everything else was normal
Blood test all normal elevated bilirubin but I have Gilbert’s so it’s always high but it was the same as it has been since 2010 so not higher
What other test do I need done
Sludge and gallstones can cause all those symptoms you list.
Why aren't you looking into that rather than PC?
ScaredBBOY
01-12-18, 23:42
Hey Matt what’s scaring me is that the pain radiates all over my back from mostly right but can be also left side even in my near my left shoulder and I’m started to get pain in my left and right rib the scares me too because I’ve be eating healthy but haven’t really missed a meal...
does gallbladders pain I thought was on the right only
Hey Matt what’s scaring me is that the pain radiates all over my back from mostly right but can be also left side even in my near my left shoulder and I’m started to get pain in my left and right rib the scares me too because I’ve be eating healthy but haven’t really missed a meal...
does gallbladders pain I thought was on the right only
My Brother had his gallbladder out 4 years ago, he had pain in both his right and left side. Many people think they are having a heart attack when they have a severe gallbladder attack, so it can radiate all over your upper torso and back if you have a failing gallbladder/stones/sludge.
It can effect your snall intestine, liver and pancreas as they all work together.
I know how you feel and i can relate as i've had the symptoms you describe for nearly two years +nausea, light coloured poop and dark urine.
From Jan 2017 to June 2017 i lost 8 stone (112 pounds) because we have a crap failing healthcare system i finally got referred to see a gastro in the June 2017 and was going to have to wait until Dec 2017 until a sensible Dr expetited it. Got referred to have my gallbladder out this time last year, waited 3 months to see surgeon and after a further 2 months of arsing about the surgeon refused to take it out. I was referred back to the gastro, waited 6 months and the gastro ordered more tests that i waited 6 weeks for and had last week.
You have been confirmed as having gallstones and sludge. Look into that as the cause of your symptoms. Your healthcare is pretty instant compared to the UK. For me i was fobbed off whilst losing weight, living in pain and other symotoms, because of waiting times
etc over here they took one hell of a risk whilst not really doing anything and in no way could they have known it wasn't anything sinister but after 2 years i'd probably be dead by now. The stress, anxiety and panic it's caused me has been horrid.
Investigate your gallbladder in more depth.
ScaredBBOY
02-12-18, 15:38
Wow sorry to hear that it took so long that is crazy I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were you I sympathize with you. Mine symptom are all day so it’s hard for me to think of them as attacks only time I’m not bothered with them is when I’m sleep but when I wake up they slowly all come back and either back pain chest pain and a new symptom fullness and discomfort in my upper stomach right in the middle below my stomach that pain is not constant it comes and goes when it comes I burp a whole lot ... I put that down and indegestion worst I try not to google my symptom and just come to this page I so scared that it will be somethin sinister that it’s driving me mad life sucks for me right now thanks for replying Matt as I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this that doesn’t think I’m overreacting included drs one doctor I told about my pain said my sludge was nothin and that I’m fine but my symptoms are real
Wow sorry to hear that it took so long that is crazy I don’t know what I would’ve done if I were you I sympathize with you. Mine symptom are all day so it’s hard for me to think of them as attacks only time I’m not bothered with them is when I’m sleep but when I wake up they slowly all come back and either back pain chest pain and a new symptom fullness and discomfort in my upper stomach right in the middle below my stomach that pain is not constant it comes and goes when it comes I burp a whole lot ... I put that down and indegestion worst I try not to google my symptom and just come to this page I so scared that it will be somethin sinister that it’s driving me mad life sucks for me right now thanks for replying Matt as I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this that doesn’t think I’m overreacting included drs one doctor I told about my pain said my sludge was nothin and that I’m fine but my symptoms are real
That's total BULL being told sludge is nothing.
My symptoms are pretty much constant with a dull ache in my ribs (more right) shoulder blades and between them. After i've eaten tge ache becomes stabby and even worse if i have anything with moderate fat.
Have you tried a low fat diet?
ScaredBBOY
02-12-18, 16:42
No I haven’t but I have change my diet And I take more vitamins nothing seems no help my symptoms much
I have given up all sodas and fruit drinks and I haven’t had any red meat just chicken and seafood I rarely eat fried food I started all this about a little over two months ago but I 18 pounds is a lot of wieght for jus those small changes
I work on my feet mostly but I don’t work out im pretty healthy for a 28 year old well atleast I thought I was I did have a very very poor diet
No I haven’t but I have change my diet And I take more vitamins nothing seems no help my symptoms much
I have given up all sodas and fruit drinks and I haven’t had any red meat just chicken and seafood I rarely eat fried food I started all this about a little over two months ago but I 18 pounds is a lot of wieght for jus those small changes
I work on my feet mostly but I don’t work out im pretty healthy for a 28 year old well atleast I thought I was I did have a very very poor diet
Some seafood can be high in fat.
18 pounds in 2 months isn't a huge loss. As i lost 112 pounds in 6 months, so that's about half what i lost 3 × 18 = 54 pounds.
So was back at the doctor today for an unrelated follow up and began asking about some concerns with left sided abdominal pain that moves around. The doc basically said that what I described doesn't sound at all like cancer pain, as she said it would be in the same spot for prolonged periods of time, and getting progressively worse. She said either my bowels or my stress is causing this.
Not that I don't trust my doctor, but I'm worried I was being dismissed since she knows I have health anxiety. I guess I'm just wondering how a doc could know that abdominal pains aren't serious when no further testing was ordered.
Has anyone else ever cole across this, and how did you end up accepting a doc's diagnosis?
Hi fellow worrier!
I just had to quote this sentence back to you:
“So, I'm not a psychologist, so I'm mainly speaking out of my ass here, but I know with me there's a certain subconscious level where I KNOW I'm fine.”
THAT
So was back at the doctor today for an unrelated follow up and began asking about some concerns with left sided abdominal pain that moves around. The doc basically said that what I described doesn't sound at all like cancer pain, as she said it would be in the same spot for prolonged periods of time, and getting progressively worse. She said either my bowels or my stress is causing this.
Not that I don't trust my doctor, but I'm worried I was being dismissed since she knows I have health anxiety. I guess I'm just wondering how a doc could know that abdominal pains aren't serious when no further testing was ordered.
Has anyone else ever cole across this, and how did you end up accepting a doc's diagnosis?
Hey Hypo, I'm at moment going through a similar situation.
I'm 33 year old man.
I went cold turkey with my antidepressant in July since it stopped working and was causing me be anti-social towards strangers, and aggressive towards my mom.
In addition I was having the following symptoms, headaches, off balances, rashes, excess burping/gas, heartburn, aches and pains on the upper right abdominal corner, swallowing issues, blurred vision, hyper sex drive, brain fog, sweet tooth, nausea.
In all, these could be antidepressant withdrawal symptoms.
Over the months most of these symptoms have being calming down. Though the G.I. symptoms freak me out. Making me think I have liver, pancreatic, stomach or esophageal cancer.
Those who've gone through withdrawals speak that there's issues with the GI system since there so much serotonin in that area of the body.
Now, I still have the excessive burping, shifting sharp pains from far upper right abdominal area, then shift almost next to were my esophagus and stomach is, then shift just to the right, then to the far left were my obliques are, then shift to the right and go slight down. I press area were it hurt, and nothing. No pain, just like you. Feel slightly nauseas, then suddenly change to me wanting to eat an entire cow! hahahhaha! Then, feel coolness of water hit the pit of my stomach or sensations or aches when I begin to eat at first, then nothing.
I used to have heartburn when I was teenager and treated in 2013 with one month's worth of anti acids and went away, though when the antidepressant slowly began to poop on me on June 2017, the anxiety symptoms including the GI/heartburn ones came back.
In 2014, I wasn't having heartburn, though I did have the shifting pain symptoms around my upper right abdominal area, or felt bloated. I got blood work done, and nothing. All clear. This doc told me, if there was something wrong, it wouldn't be shifting or come and go, in addition, I'd notice it with the color of my stools since they would be pale white/gray, if they weren't then, like your doc said, its anxiety.
Over time I accepted it, it went away, though another symptom cropped up...yay me lol! I was put on meds a year later, and all these symptoms went away.
So, I'd recommend going for therapy to help find the root cause of this or starting antidepressants.
I posted over the IBS/Stomach issues thread, and Fish recommend me to do the same.
P.S. I had blood work done this past July and everything came back fine.
Hi fellow worrier!
I just had to quote this sentence back to you:
“So, I'm not a psychologist, so I'm mainly speaking out of my ass here, but I know with me there's a certain subconscious level where I KNOW I'm fine.”
THAT
Haha I'm good at giving advice, terrible at following it.
Hey Hypo, I'm at moment going through a similar situation.
I'm 33 year old man.
I went cold turkey with my antidepressant in July since it stopped working and was causing me be anti-social towards strangers, and aggressive towards my mom.
In addition I was having the following symptoms, headaches, off balances, rashes, excess burping/gas, heartburn, aches and pains on the upper right abdominal corner, swallowing issues, blurred vision, hyper sex drive, brain fog, sweet tooth, nausea.
In all, these could be antidepressant withdrawal symptoms.
Over the months most of these symptoms have being calming down. Though the G.I. symptoms freak me out. Making me think I have liver, pancreatic, stomach or esophageal cancer.
Those who've gone through withdrawals speak that there's issues with the GI system since there so much serotonin in that area of the body.
Now, I still have the excessive burping, shifting sharp pains from far upper right abdominal area, then shift almost next to were my esophagus and stomach is, then shift just to the right, then to the far left were my obliques are, then shift to the right and go slight down. I press area were it hurt, and nothing. No pain, just like you. Feel slightly nauseas, then suddenly change to me wanting to eat an entire cow! hahahhaha! Then, feel coolness of water hit the pit of my stomach or sensations or aches when I begin to eat at first, then nothing.
I used to have heartburn when I was teenager and treated in 2013 with one month's worth of anti acids and went away, though when the antidepressant slowly began to poop on me on June 2017, the anxiety symptoms including the GI/heartburn ones came back.
In 2014, I wasn't having heartburn, though I did have the shifting pain symptoms around my upper right abdominal area, or felt bloated. I got blood work done, and nothing. All clear. This doc told me, if there was something wrong, it wouldn't be shifting or come and go, in addition, I'd notice it with the color of my stools since they would be pale white/gray, if they weren't then, like your doc said, its anxiety.
Over time I accepted it, it went away, though another symptom cropped up...yay me lol! I was put on meds a year later, and all these symptoms went away.
So, I'd recommend going for therapy to help find the root cause of this or starting antidepressants.
I posted over the IBS/Stomach issues thread, and Fish recommend me to do the same.
P.S. I had blood work done this past July and everything came back fine.
With me, I'm actually on antidepressants atm. Been on effexor for the past 5 years or so, but just upped my dosage 2 weeks ago or so.
While my mysterious abdominal discomforts sound identical to yours (even down to the point about being able to cool liquid in the pit of your stomach), mine wouldn't be from withdrawal or adjusting to meds. However, I'm definitely stressed out a lot of the time, frequently worrying about my health... it's just not as bad as it used to be pre-medication.
Also, been seeing a CBT therapist for a few weeks now as well. Shes been helping me with this stuff, and her methods are starting to work on me. I find the exercises very helpful.
With me, I'm actually on antidepressants atm. Been on effexor for the past 5 years or so, but just upped my dosage 2 weeks ago or so.
While my mysterious abdominal discomforts sound identical to yours (even down to the point about being able to cool liquid in the pit of your stomach), mine wouldn't be from withdrawal or adjusting to meds. However, I'm definitely stressed out a lot of the time, frequently worrying about my health... it's just not as bad as it used to be pre-medication.
Also, been seeing a CBT therapist for a few weeks now as well. Shes been helping me with this stuff, and her methods are starting to work on me. I find the exercises very helpful.
My symptoms had gone away, though I had a horrible temp work experience two weeks ago when these symptoms flared up again. My ma says it's your anger and anxiety flaring my gi symptoms.
In 2014, I used to have testicular aches. I thought the worse. They did ultrasounds. The first time they thought I had calcification in my testicles, then they did the ultrasound again, nothing. I had the aches for a year, then it went away. This symptom came back four days after my temp work, then went away and shifted to gi symptoms.
In My case and perhaps yours too, its's telling that stress is the culprit.
The doc basically said that what I described doesn't sound at all like cancer pain, as she said it would be in the same spot for prolonged periods of time, and getting progressively worse. She said either my bowels or my stress is causing this.
Not that I don't trust my doctor, but I'm worried I was being dismissed since she knows I have health anxiety. I guess I'm just wondering how a doc could know that abdominal pains aren't serious when no further testing was ordered.
Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.
Your doctor is correct and she knows because she understand the above statement and has seen it.
Cancer is like a weed that has taken root. It continues to grow in that spot. If you had cancer pain due to cancer, it would continue and get worse. Even if it were to spread, the primary "weed" is still there and continues to grow.
Besides the fact that you're on an anxiety website and are describing IBS type symptoms, in the two months since this thread started, there would be no mistaking a serious issue.
I'm survivor, I know of what I speak. I hope you get the help you need to battle the real issue.
Positive thoughts
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.