I am so sick of feeling rubbish

[Kenton]

Over the years I have had it all,all the different symptoms of anxiety, scared to leave home or rather a safe area around my home,scared to go on public transport, not able to swallow, not able to take a deep breath, intrusive thoughts, ocd, aches and pains, burning mouth syndrome, dizziness, visual disturbances, part panic attacks, full blown panic attacks. Everytime I beat one of them, I am okay for a while and then another symptom comes along. I have been on and off medication and courses of CBT, CAT and Hypnotherapy and I just don't know what to do anymore. I have Health anxiety and I am only realising how bad it is in recent years.

A couple of years ago, I suffered from dizziness and my eyes feeling funny and I put it down to coming off tablets, I also went to docs and they did tests and said there was nothing wrong. I of course am convinced I have some sort of tumour in my head. ANyway I managed to get through it and I got pregnant and had a baby, and over the 9 months of being pregnant and the first 11 months of her life,I have had the feelings now and again but have been able to keep a check on things, however when it came to going back to work, it all started again and i have been feeling bad every day and just praying to get through every hour and get home at the end of the day. the other day i had a panic attack at work and now dont want to go back. I dont know what to do, I just feel dreadful. I am so convinced i do have something serious wrong with me.

anyway here is the point of my long rambling message, my eyes are feeling funny all the time, they seem to have problems focusing and when i change my focus it makes me feel dzzy or off balance is a better way of putting it. it just feels like I am not quite with or or have a fuzzy head,if that makes sense. Does anyone else have issues with their eyes, is this a normal anxiety symptom or should I go back to the doctors and get rechecked again.

[debs71]

Hi kenton,


Sorry you are struggling right now. I know how frustrating anxiety is..... Just when you think you are over one hurdle, another gets chucked in your way.

Firstly, are you on meds now? You say you have been on and off meds and if there is no kind of stability treatment wise, this can greatly impact the anxiety flare ups. It makes it hard to battle when you have no extended periods of feeling good again......like a constant fight which is exhausting for you.

Ok, so as far as the panic attack at work goes, I deeply empathise and had the same thing happen to me many years ago. I was nursing at the time, went on shift early morning and had a nerve inducing conversation with the ward sister about my resignation (which was actually due to not being able to handle the stress of the job anymore, ironically) I felt the panic attack coming on, had to sit down, got up and took a few steps again, then blacked out and collapsed on the floor. They sent me home that day as I think it scared the bejesus out of them!

I totally know how fearful you are about going back to work. When we have a panic attack anywhere, it puts us off returning again as we think the same thing will happen, but avoidance is the worst thing for anxiety/panic disorder, really it is. If we avoid a place that first time, we will probably NEVER go back. The key is to face it head on again in order to truly CONQUER IT. Try not to tell yourself that the same thing will happen, but instead replace that thought with positive ones, like 'it was a one off and it will be ok' and 'I won't let this beat me'. It sounds stupid but it helps.

I can relate to this as I also had a panic attack when out shopping around the same time I had the panic at work. I never wanted to return to that particular shop, if fact I avoided being anywhere in public places as I thought the same thing would happen again. I avoided it for days but then made up my mind to just do it as I didnt want to become phobic of leaving the house. I was sweating, shaking, wanted to run home but I stuck it out. It does take a lot of mental strength, but I assure you it IS NOT impossible.

It terms of your vision issues, YES ABSOLUTELY this is anxiety playing tricks. When we are really stressed and anxious, everything goes into overdrive in terms of our nervous system and senses.Being eyes and sight being a sense, it causes all types of weird issues with focus, feeling dizzy, feeling like our eyes are kind of spinning as we look around, etc. I have this myself when I am out shopping, in particular. I really hate busy shops and too much hustle and bustle and I really struggle to focus on things and make my way about. Nightmare.

The key is to fully address the high anxiety, then your eye stuff and any other physical symptoms should calm down.

I would really, really suggest maybe another consutation with your doc? You should not have to be struggling with this everyday and there are treatment options. Sometimes we just haven't hit the nail onthe head and found the right treatment- be it meds or therapy - that is right FOR US PERSONALLY, or we havent had a consistent, level, long enough period of treatment that has allowed us to reach the point of seeing a big improvement in the anxiety/depression/panic disorder, etc.


There is hope, I assure you. I can relate to all you feel as can many others here, I am certain. You must bear in mind too that you say you have managed to beat this stuff before, so that shows you have the bravery and ability to beat this again. That shows you have strength. Take care and big hugs. xx :hugs:

[Missjensen]

Dont know if this is any help but.

When I get stressed and especially if I haven’t had enough sleep, I get dizziness attacks where I feel drunk and everything is turning around, I had this for years and it’s nothing serious.

I also a condition where the muscles in my eyes don’t feel like working together probably, it’s not anything that can been seen, it was only after many many years of headaches after reading, problems jumping around in the lines and not being able to focus probably, I went to the ophthalmologist many times trough my childhood just to be told my vision was fine, it was only one day my local optician made some specific eye muscles test he could tell me the problem and give me some tools to train them.

The hole point in this ramble is what you are saying sound a lot like this, and I know my symptoms get a hundred times worse when I’m stressed, the optician said it’s because the brain is busy at other stuff and stop concentrating about keeping my eyes working perfect together.

[Kenton]

Thanks, to both of you for taking the time to reply, that makes me feel a bit better, onwards and upwards I guess! xx