View Full Version : Those Christmas magazines
I think you all know them, they come through the door and they've a thousand curious and strange items in. I love looking through them, mostly in horror. Here's my two favourite finds so far this Christmas season!
https://thumb.ibb.co/i5uhTV/IMG-20181108-231041.jpg (https://ibb.co/i5uhTV) https://thumb.ibb.co/fVo98V/IMG-20181108-224513.jpg (https://ibb.co/fVo98V)
The rabbit is going to be featured in all my nightmares for the next few years, but at least the description of the kit for men gave me something to puzzle over.
MyNameIsTerry
09-11-18, 01:49
Don't get the sandpaper mixed up with the toilet paper! :ohmy:
That's one scary looking bunny! :scared15:
Haha isn't it! I should have taken a picture of the surely popular book "50 ways to tie a scarf"too.
The "Fatal Attraction" bunny hot water bottle will go down well in households with frazzled sleep-deprived parents!
The kit for men is interesting-would the sandpaper be used to smooth down a prickly beard/sharp tongue?
mezzaninedoor
09-11-18, 12:55
I cant see the bunny in question ?!?
Ive just had the Book People christmas edition arrive and I want to buy so much stuff from it. There are some fantastic spoken word sets like Phlip Pullman etc.
I love that little man bag. Although if I got it for my partner, he’d just lose it within an hour...
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Oooo I've thrown mine away already, do so as they appear on the mat, but next one I'll look out for something strange and post it. They are so full, aren't they, of things you just don't need. APART from the lakeland one, that was ace.
MyNameIsTerry
09-11-18, 17:30
I cant see the bunny in question ?!?
Ive just had the Book People christmas edition arrive and I want to buy so much stuff from it. There are some fantastic spoken word sets like Phlip Pullman etc.
It's two separate images, if you click further to the left it will open. You might wish it hadn't though, pulisa is right naming it the fatal attraction bunny...:ohmy:
Lol yeah, be careful with the bunny!! That face!! Let me get a photo of the scarf book...
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https://thumb.ibb.co/iTX6qA/IMG-20181109-192337.jpg (https://ibb.co/iTX6qA)
Now, sorry, but I would genuinely be interested in '50 ways to tie a scarf' LOLOL
Blimey...I don't think I could get "wrapped up" in the scarf book but I'm not at all stylish!
Hey, why do you think I need it ? LOL I don't reckon there are 50 ways anyway, not proper different ways.
Oh someone will have devised 50 different ways..Someone with time on their hands!
I'm sure there will be a Brexit Survival Guide included in some of the Christmas catalogues! I couldn't believe it when I read that people were having therapy for Brexit- Cognitive Brexit Therapy perhaps?
Any Crimbo-related mags will go straight into the bin! TV ads are torturous enough :lac:
Bloody garden centre Crimbo mags are the pits! I hope you meant the recycling bin, KK?!:D
Carys, I have that book... '50 ways to tie a scarf' and you are right. 50 ways is not quite true, just slight variations, but a basic 5. :D I love scarves because you can hide behind them. Except for when I get a hot flush and I then rip it off in a mad frenzy. :D
MyNameIsTerry
10-11-18, 01:44
Hey, why do you think I need it ? LOL I don't reckon there are 50 ways anyway, not proper different ways.
You're just obsessed with 50 now :winks:
Now, sorry, but I would genuinely be interested in '50 ways to tie a scarf' LOLOL
That's your Christmas present sorted!
---------- Post added at 07:48 ---------- Previous post was at 07:44 ----------
Blimey...I don't think I could get "wrapped up" in the scarf book but I'm not at all stylish!
Hahaha!!
Ok I think it's time for the next instalment, I think it's perfect for all us stressed and anxious folks, forget the benzos and anti depressants, 4 AA batteries on your nose will calm ya!
https://thumb.ibb.co/b3o8LA/IMG-20181109-200526.jpg (https://ibb.co/b3o8LA)
You're just obsessed with 50 now :winks:
CHEEKY! In multiple ways. :roflmao:
That's your Christmas present sorted!
Ha ha ! Bunny for you ???
50 Shades of Scarf..and a nasal mask inspired by the Klu Klux Klan...
What more could anyone wish for?
I know... A Donald Trump whoopee cushion!
50 Shades of Scarf..and a nasal mask inspired by the Klu Klux Klan...
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
THAT MASK, if thats not a passion-killer....
Mark, what catalogue is this ? I'm looking at mine in a whole new light now, and anxiously awaiting my next one.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/TheWorks-Create-Dough-Multi-Colour/dp/B07JDGFVXL/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1541880318&sr=8-1&keywords=create+a+poop+game
This would make a good stocking "filler"?
That is absolutely BRILLIANT !I know two kiddies who would love that, I'm ordering.....seriously.
Reminds me of South Park and Mr Hanky the Christmas Poo...
I never saw that, but I have ordered them right away. Can you work on the rest of my Xmas list now too ?
Poo-related gifts?
---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:44 ----------
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Turd-Great-Xmas-Present/dp/B002SPQEOG/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541882816&sr=8-5&keywords=mr+hanky
errrmmmmmmmmm.......maybe not ALL poo related...we can move onto other gross things too
Doubles as a stress-reliever too!
---------- Post added at 20:51 ---------- Previous post was at 20:49 ----------
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Swear-Word-Coloring-Book-Adults/dp/164001117X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541883037&sr=1-1&keywords=stress+relief+gifts
Or what about this?
That's great ! How are you finding these things.....
I am used to unearthing treasures....
---------- Post added at 21:01 ---------- Previous post was at 20:55 ----------
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fluff-Farting-Fish-Michael-Rosen/dp/1849395276/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541883579&sr=1-2&keywords=burping+bertha
Some decent reading material for the little ones?
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
THAT MASK, if thats not a passion-killer....
Mark, what catalogue is this ? I'm looking at mine in a whole new light now, and anxiously awaiting my next one.
Hey Carys, it's called QWERKITY. It's given me about three hours entertainment leafing through it :blush: :blush:
Oh I threw that one away !!!! Damn it.
Poo-related gifts?
---------- Post added at 20:48 ---------- Previous post was at 20:44 ----------
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Christmas-Turd-Great-Xmas-Present/dp/B002SPQEOG/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1541882816&sr=8-5&keywords=mr+hanky
Honestly, nothing poo related is gonna be pretty, but my god they really captured the feel of a diseased red setters excrement with that. It's even more gross than the real thing. It'll Make a lovely centre piece for the table. Good find!
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Oh I threw that one away !!!! Damn it.
Daaaamn, hopefully you can recover from the loss :roflmao:
https://www.qwerkity.com/are-you-a-grumpy-old-git-quiz-book-prod20604/
This is a good one for me
This is a classic....
https://www.qwerkity.com/cat-selfie-prod20752/?src=webgains
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brown-Turkey-Christmas-Thanksgiving-Costume/dp/B002Y9ZGEA/ref=pd_bxgy_21_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B002Y9ZGEA&pd_rd_r=0db852e7-e52e-11e8-9a8f-5b35ac70c0a6&pd_rd_w=4SN6H&pd_rd_wg=qDZNr&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_p=466c8fd0-3653-4c9b-86fa-f9bc8fd2ae35&pf_rd_r=GB7Q0HF9P1M8EV0Q7DT2&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=GB7Q0HF9P1M8EV0Q7DT2
One to add to your collection, Mark?
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Brown-Turkey-Christmas-Thanksgiving-Costume/dp/B002Y9ZGEA/ref=pd_bxgy_21_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B002Y9ZGEA&pd_rd_r=0db852e7-e52e-11e8-9a8f-5b35ac70c0a6&pd_rd_w=4SN6H&pd_rd_wg=qDZNr&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_p=466c8fd0-3653-4c9b-86fa-f9bc8fd2ae35&pf_rd_r=GB7Q0HF9P1M8EV0Q7DT2&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&psc=1&refRID=GB7Q0HF9P1M8EV0Q7DT2
One to add to your collection, Mark?
Eeeeeeek :yesyes: gonna be basting that in my dreams tonight
MyNameIsTerry
11-11-18, 02:58
I see pulisa has got her Secret Santa's sorted out for this year :roflmao:
---------- Post added at 02:58 ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 ----------
Eeeeeeek :yesyes: gonna be basting that in my dreams tonight
Sounds like you're putting it on the wrong "head" :roflmao:
Sounds like you're putting it on the wrong "head" :roflmao:
:roflmao:idk, legs, breasts, smells divine... How can that not be perfect for stuffing?
MyNameIsTerry
11-11-18, 05:04
:roflmao:idk, legs, breasts, smells divine... How can that not be perfect for stuffing?
:roflmao: This thread will get closed down if we start on about breast & bacon fat :ohmy::blush::noangel:
Don't forget the pigs in blankets. Always reminds of John Prescott and his secretary :winks:
:roflmao: This thread will get closed down if we start on about breast & bacon fat :ohmy::blush::noangel:
Don't forget the pigs in blankets. Always reminds of John Prescott and his secretary :winks:
Haha Terry! :roflmao: my turkey hat suddenly feels so dirty!
mezzaninedoor
11-11-18, 17:06
Hampers magazine arrived today, Couldn;t even escape it by moving house !!!!
&
Wife came home with M&S Christmas Fayre magazine, she picked it up !!!!
Wife came home with M&S Christmas Fayre magazine, she picked it up !!!!
Thats what you don't need , people willingly collecting them :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
12-11-18, 02:24
Thats what you don't need , people willingly collecting them :roflmao:
Sold her soul to the devil. It's not just a Christmas jumper but a M&S Christmas jumper from now on for Tony. :D
mezzaninedoor
12-11-18, 08:51
I know !!!!!!!
Good news ladies and gentlemen, another magazine has arrived. Now here's a nice product
https://thumb.ibb.co/ckhSkL/IMG-20181119-202123.jpg (https://ibb.co/ckhSkL)
Ha ha ha !!! How useless is that !!! My Qwerkity arrived today, but there was nothing in it that can mirror your tat.
Ha ha ha !!! How useless is that !!! My Qwerkity arrived today, but there was nothing in it that can mirror your tat.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
20-11-18, 02:25
That's actually quite good if you think outside the box. You can throw it at people whilst playing something to annoy them. And it's Bluetooth so if it's still in rang you can easily play some suitable sound effects at said annoying person. :winks::yesyes:
That's actually quite good if you think outside the box. You can throw it at people whilst playing something to annoy them. And it's Bluetooth so if it's still in rang you can easily play some suitable sound effects at said annoying person. :winks::yesyes:
Sounds like this magazine might get it's first customer! They should be paying me to post these..great and innovative products
mezzaninedoor
20-11-18, 10:24
My Christmas List this year for my Wife is:-
Online Gift Vouchers
More Online Gift Vouchers
& yes Online Gift Vouchers
She doesnt need to go anywhere near the horrible christmas magazines
They should be paying me to post these..great and innovative products
Good point! Terry is really taken with that bluetooth thing, so just shows some people will buy it. Terry - exactly how long would your enjoyment of this product last do you think? If you threw a missile at me I'd duck, then stamp on it.
MyNameIsTerry
22-11-18, 02:39
The enjoyment would be endless.
Postman dumps my parcel marked fragile through the door 4ft up. Response, a frisbee to the back of the head playing "you're shit and you know you are".
Jehovah's Witnesses seen heading for my gate. Response, a frisbee playing something saying how great magic is.
Endless possibilities! :yesyes:
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