ScottC2105
27-08-07, 03:39
I have been here 2 days so I feel as if I should introduce myself.
I'm Scott and at the time of writing I am 18 years old. I may as well do as I should and explain why I am here.
8 years ago I had a major operation to remove a tumor that was strangling my heart, lungs and voice box. I could of lost my life or my voice. I pulled through it in a record time of only 6 days. The doctors said I would be at least a month so they called me "One hell of a fighter!". The tumor turned out to be a teratoma the type of which it was turned out to be extremely rare. Only 23 have ever been recorded most of which are fatal.
Since then I seem to of gone down hill. I stopped going out with friends and such and it eventually came to the point where I stopped going out all together. I then became very sad about my life and myself and at 16 I threatened my mom. I told her if she made me go back to school for 1 more day I wouldn't return and by that I didn't mean running away.
I dropped out of school and did work at home and since then my mom thought I was joking as I went back to staying in 24/7 on the computer. We moved to where I am currently living and I turned 18 back in May and I needed to get a job for government reasons and the like so I arranged to go to the Job Centre and when the day came to go to the Job Centre I just could not do it. I got very very depressed and I was having "fits" a lot.
It was at this point after 7 years I came clean and told my brother how I felt and it came as a shock to him and soon enough the family was telling me they wish that I had told them sooner. I went to my GP who then gave me Fluoxetine and I agreed to it but when I got home and saw the side effects I had yet another "fit". So 2 weeks later I told him I didn't take them and he said "Doesn't matter anyway they wouldn't of done you any good, you have a personality problem". At this point I decided to get a CPN for help.
Before I go onto the CPN I have a "fear" of seeing people and going to public places that I have yet to mention as well as getting randomly angry for no reason and then an hour or two later being fine. I also think suicidal thoughts a lot.
The CPN arrived and after explaining everything to her she said that I have severe depression and general/social anxiety and I may have a problem with my moods and emotions being expressed. She has said it may take 2 - 4 years for me to improve. She has given me Citalopram I have yet to take as I am worrying a lot over the side effects, she has said though without them I may never improve. I also avoid a lot of things apparently and by that I am not sure what she means.
My dad has an aneurysm on his main artery and if it bursts he will die so that piles onto my problem. I then find out my mom has lung cancer (just recently about a month ago) and she has 6 months - 10 years to live! You could well say I have been through a lot and I am going though a lot and many wonder why I am the way I am, hmm.
These "fits" I have mentioned have just been explained to me as Anxiety Attacks which I seem to be having at the present after typing everything out in this long yet boring post. I could probably write a book. I don't sleep a lot and sometimes not at all such as tonight.
Well for the most part that is me and I hope I didn't bore you too much :shades:.
I'm Scott and at the time of writing I am 18 years old. I may as well do as I should and explain why I am here.
8 years ago I had a major operation to remove a tumor that was strangling my heart, lungs and voice box. I could of lost my life or my voice. I pulled through it in a record time of only 6 days. The doctors said I would be at least a month so they called me "One hell of a fighter!". The tumor turned out to be a teratoma the type of which it was turned out to be extremely rare. Only 23 have ever been recorded most of which are fatal.
Since then I seem to of gone down hill. I stopped going out with friends and such and it eventually came to the point where I stopped going out all together. I then became very sad about my life and myself and at 16 I threatened my mom. I told her if she made me go back to school for 1 more day I wouldn't return and by that I didn't mean running away.
I dropped out of school and did work at home and since then my mom thought I was joking as I went back to staying in 24/7 on the computer. We moved to where I am currently living and I turned 18 back in May and I needed to get a job for government reasons and the like so I arranged to go to the Job Centre and when the day came to go to the Job Centre I just could not do it. I got very very depressed and I was having "fits" a lot.
It was at this point after 7 years I came clean and told my brother how I felt and it came as a shock to him and soon enough the family was telling me they wish that I had told them sooner. I went to my GP who then gave me Fluoxetine and I agreed to it but when I got home and saw the side effects I had yet another "fit". So 2 weeks later I told him I didn't take them and he said "Doesn't matter anyway they wouldn't of done you any good, you have a personality problem". At this point I decided to get a CPN for help.
Before I go onto the CPN I have a "fear" of seeing people and going to public places that I have yet to mention as well as getting randomly angry for no reason and then an hour or two later being fine. I also think suicidal thoughts a lot.
The CPN arrived and after explaining everything to her she said that I have severe depression and general/social anxiety and I may have a problem with my moods and emotions being expressed. She has said it may take 2 - 4 years for me to improve. She has given me Citalopram I have yet to take as I am worrying a lot over the side effects, she has said though without them I may never improve. I also avoid a lot of things apparently and by that I am not sure what she means.
My dad has an aneurysm on his main artery and if it bursts he will die so that piles onto my problem. I then find out my mom has lung cancer (just recently about a month ago) and she has 6 months - 10 years to live! You could well say I have been through a lot and I am going though a lot and many wonder why I am the way I am, hmm.
These "fits" I have mentioned have just been explained to me as Anxiety Attacks which I seem to be having at the present after typing everything out in this long yet boring post. I could probably write a book. I don't sleep a lot and sometimes not at all such as tonight.
Well for the most part that is me and I hope I didn't bore you too much :shades:.