My fear has now become true

[jules321]

The details are irrelevant, but I'm having to face a fear in a big way right now. I'm terrified but am proud of myself for how I'm handling it overall. I haven't displayed perfect calm, but I reined it in when I felt it getting the better of me. My body starts this weird shaking when I'm truly panicking which I can tell it's on the verge of doing... but so far I'm holding it together. When something becomes real (instead of imagined HA), you kind of snap to in order to deal with it rather than having the luxury of spinning off into abject anxiety. I'm not sure why I'm writing except to just be heard. Thanks for listening.

[katniss]

Hi Jules,

Hope you’re going to be okay. Sorry to hear things are tough right now. We are all definitely a lot stronger than we think we are. Hope you can find lots of strength to get through this difficult time. We are always here for you if you would like to talk XO

[Violet Blue]

Hi Jules

You have our total cyber support here. It's obvious when someone isn't just being the usual HA mindless hysteric, and so please take comfort from that.

I think you're right, in that when you actually have to deal with something, as opposed to imagining you're having to deal with it, it's amazing how strong we can be.

On a VERY low scale, I'm reminded of a time many many years ago, a dentist phobia I had in my teens and very early twenties. It was the sort where sometimes just as I was falling asleep I'd jolt awake suddenly thinking about having to go for a check up. And then when I was about 21 I started to get a toothache and yup, I needed a filling. I remember being really calm when I was in the waiting room, I just knew it was something I needed to do and it would be for the best. Funnily enough, even though I feel faint at the thought of many a medical procedure, I've been fine with dentists ever since.

Good luck. I hope you continue to hold things together for whatever you're being presented with right now, I'm sure you will. xxxxx

[lofwyr]

When it became real for me a year and a half ago, I found a solid online support group for the problem I had. I found an absolute top notch Facebook group, and dealt with it.

The first month was scary, but after that first month, I just looked at it from a perspective of "okay, I have this condition, now I am going to deal with it. What's next? I will do that." And then you do it.

My condition is potentially fatal and certainly very dangerous, but the funny thing is, after that first month, the anxiety just went away. I live a much better life now that I am in this situation--with regards to anxiety--than I ever did before.

Use this how I did, and make it an opportunity to put your HA into perspective. I regret that I could not find this peace of mind *before* I was diagnosed, but I also refuse to live in regret and just go about my day now, enjoying each moment I can and trying not to get wrapped up in anxiety.

Be well, stay strong, and drop me a PM if you want to talk, both as someone dealing with a real issue, and someone who has dealt with HA.