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Worrywart84
14-11-18, 01:27
Hello.

I have lurked here awhile and finally felt like I needed to share my story.

I have had HA since childhood—I would be playing with the neighbor kids, hear a siren and immediately jump the fence and rush home convinced that one of my family members was dead.

I’m now 34, married with two young children, and feel absolutely crippled by HA.

My history of worries-turned doctor visits are too lengthy to list, but some of the more memorable instances include:

Convinced I had a tumor after feeling an asymmetrical lump in my side...it was a rib.
Convinced I had enlarged lymph nodes in my neck...a doctor’s exam, u/s and bloodwork showed nothing.
Convinced I had skin cancer twice...dermatologist said lesions were nothing.
Convinced every twinge in pregnancy was impending doom...had two healthy full term children.
Convinced of various ailments in both children, ranging from leukemia to NF1, Horner’s Syndrome, squamous cell carcinoma, blood clots, autism, etc. I’ve examined every bruise, every bump, every rash, every fever and go down the rabbit hole, fearing the absolute worst.

And now, the most terrifying of all words, the C word, has become a reality for my mom—last month she was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer.

So guess what I think I have now. Yep, colon cancer. Of course I’ve had intermittent rectal bleeding that was always attributed to hemmroids or fissures for over a decade and ironically that ailment never caused me much worry because it had been happening on and off for as long as I could remember, but now that my mom has been diagnosed and I’ve been Googling nonstop, all I can find are stories of people their 30s being diagnosed with stage IV cancer after decades of having their symptoms dismissed. Cue total freak out now that I have a family history. And then like clockwork, I developed loose stools, thin stools, dark spots within my stool, shortness of breath, weight loss, and lower left abdominal pain. I have a colonoscopy scheduled for this Friday.

THEN....

I have had a weird “gash” on my upper gum since July which of course I thought was oral cancer. I wrestled with it until August when it wasn’t going away and I decided to see my dentist. He immediately dismissed it as irritation from my electric toothbrush and to be more gentle. As HA often works, I was immediately relieved and the spell of anxiety was broken by a “you’re fine” diagnosis from a doctor so I stopped worrying about it. Until today. I went for a cleaning and it’s still there. This time the dentist seemed more concerned and told Me to try brushing it with a baby toothbrush and rinsing with salt water. Then he said something along the lines of if it doesn’t clear up he could refer me to an oral surgeon and mentioned a biopsy. Cue total freak out.

So I currently sit here watching my two young children, feeling like I am on the verge of being diagnosed with colon cancer and/or oral cancer and won’t be around to see them grow up.

In a strange way, worrying about two things at once almost makes me feel better because I think wow the likelihood of having both of these would be super crazy rare—maybe Individually they don’t seem that probable either. But that only comforts me so much.

I also keep thinking, just because I have HA doesn’t mean I am immune to some bad health thing happening. That terrifies me.

I have been to two therapists in my life and while I enjoyed unloading on them in the moment (and one of them told me if anxiety were an Olympic sport I would get the gold medal for catastrophic thinking), I clearly don’t think it helped that much.

Thanks for listening and please pray for me.

Phantasia
14-11-18, 02:27
Hello - and, as I'm sure you know, you'll find many people who have similar stories. (I even recognize the siren response! EVEN now, at 40, when I hear an ambulance siren from the house, I quickly inventory who might be on the road, or walking somewhere, and make a split-second calculation of how worried I should be, do I need to call someone to make sure they're alright, etc. This anxiety is SO EXHAUSTING!)

Chances are extremely good that you are totally fine, as you yourself likely realize when the panic is at an ebb, and rational you is in the driver seat. Statistics could be your friend here -- rather than sensationalistic news stories about young people with colon cancer. (And, note that the REASON there are news stories about young people with colon cancer is because of how unusual it is. Otherwise it wouldn't be news.)

I am very sorry to hear that your mom is ill; sending best wishes that she gets well soon.

travelgirl77
14-11-18, 19:43
I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. I have had very, very similar feelings. I cannot even tell you how many illnesses I have had checked out over the years. I am currently in a horrible HA spiral about my kids and a specific, fatal brain tumor. I cannot, for the life of me, stop it. I am convinced that it is coming for them and I refuse to believe that it is anxiety.

I am sure that you will find everything is ok once you have your tests. Your dentist may be suggesting a biopsy because there is a cause outside of cancer that could be causing the gash. He would know if it was something nefarious. They are trained to know and to look for problems. As far as your other concern, you have likely been right along that you have hemmies and fissures, as nothing has really changed or gotten worse over the years. You are now focused that it could be something bad because of your mom. But, the likelihood that it is something bad is incredibly low.

I am sure that you are going through a very emotional time right now and that can exacerbate your anxiety. Tell yourself that you are healthy, imagine the positive outcomes, and update us all when you receive positive news. Then, perhaps look for some support or therapy to help you. I need to take this advice too.

Finally, I am sorry about your mom. I am sure this has been difficult, but she has a good chance at treatment and I hope for the best for her and your family.

We are here for you.

Aussie11
14-11-18, 22:28
I can identify with your situation as I’m very similar, particularly about having HA about my 5 year old son and also thinking I won’t live to see him grow up. Usually if I’m having anxiety about something around my own health I stop being paranoid about his, and vice versus.

Currently I’m going through stomach/pancreatic cancer fear because I can’t accept that there’s any other explanation for upper back ache and digestive issues (google to thank for that). I also have family history of bowel polyps and cancer (fortunately all have been treatable). I see gastroenterologist next week to arrange endoscopy and colonoscopy. I hope your mum gets some effective treatment. Sorry to hear you are going through this and it’s understandable that your anxiety would be at a high now. I don’t really have any advice, but just wanted to say I can relate to your story.

Worrywart84
15-11-18, 06:23
Thank you all so much for your replies. It helps to know there are others out there that think this way. Thanks for the reassurance and the prayers for my mom. I will keep you updated.

Absolutely dreading this colonoscopy Friday—I am just torturing myself by closing my eyes and imagining the doctor walking in after and saying “we found a mass” (because this was the reality with my mom last month) and what I would do/how I would react/what plans this weekend would be cancelled. I literally want to slap myself because this clearly doesn’t help anything and only causes me stress and grief but...easier said than done.

Worrywart84
16-11-18, 16:36
UPDATE: (as I know how helpful those are to read): colonoscopy was clear—not even so much as a polyp. Will go back in 5 years due to my family history. The relief came out in the form of joyful sobbing as soon as I woke up. The nurses were confused.

Of course I still am dwelling on my oral cancer fear but I keep trying to remind myself that this too is probably a result of HA thinking more than realistic thinking.

travelgirl77
16-11-18, 17:22
Wonderful, wonderful news! And, thank you for updating us.

Mark1974
17-11-18, 14:27
I'm in the longest spell of health anxiety I've ever had at the moment (about six weeks) - I spoke to the doctor about it yesterday but I'm already on a waiting list for some help in that regard (have been since March!). My only anxiety appears to be the 'C' word, rather than death itself (I don't worry about having a heart attack or things that could 'suddenly' kill me, rather diseases that will result in a long, lingering demise - I think knowing you are going to die rather than going suddenly is my biggest fear, if that makes any sense at all?)

Worrywart84
18-11-18, 01:33
Mark, I totally get that. The thought of knowing you have some terminal illness and only a limited time to live is literally the scariest thing I can think of.

I’m so pissed at myself that I did everything I could to alleviate my colon cancer worry and the very next day I get full blown panic over this oral cancer worry.

I think it was fisherman on here who said there are two kinds of HA people—ones with one worry they focus on for years and ones who jump from worry to worry. I am definitely the latter.

I already feel like I’ll be off to an oral surgeon in the near future for a biopsy on my gums, which will send me in a complete panic waiting for results.