Anxiousamyj
15-11-18, 03:35
Hey fellow HA fighters!
I've been doing pretty well lately. I'm much better if I stay busy. I don't have any symptoms that are new, same old stuff that's been checked out before. I still get the occasional blip, but overall I'm doing pretty well. I'm still under the care of a psychiatrist, every 3 months or so, which makes me feel better, so I've got a safety net if i need one. Anyway...
I was wondering if anyone else does this... I'm finding myself in this weird pattern of looking at the facebook accounts of people that are battling diseases (cancer, other things). These are people I really don't even know and I'm not friends with in real life. I usually have come across these profiles because they're friends of friends, or I've seen a gofundme somewhere or something like that. I am not even facebook friends with them. I just obsessively check for their health updates on their profiles. I used to do this for awhile, but had stopped for the last few months, and I know it contributed to my HA last year. It was a kind of mindless thing, but I made a decision tonight to really try and stop doing this, like I've stopped the googling and body checking. I think it's just another obsessive behavior, like the googling, weighing myself, checking my body, etc... I really have been doing better, I just don't understand why I start these behaviors up again, knowing where they'll lead. A success for me, though that I wanted to share is that a couple weeks ago, I had a skin growth (skin tag maybe?) removed at the dermatologist. It was in a "sensitive area". The derm said she wasn't worried about it, but sent it off for biopsy to be on the safe side (like she always does). I worried just a little bit, but did not obsessively check the area for healing, only looked at it a couple times. It healed with no problems, biopsy came back clear (like the derm said it would). It was a teensy bit anxiety producing, but nothing at all like I used to be. I also had a full body skin check done. It all felt so weirdly normal and routine. I like that feeling. I guess I'm just venting a bit and also wondering if anyone else does the weird social media checking of people you don't even know who have a disease. Why do i do this to myself? Am I trying to vicariously experience a disease, or keep reminding myself of diseases?
I've been doing pretty well lately. I'm much better if I stay busy. I don't have any symptoms that are new, same old stuff that's been checked out before. I still get the occasional blip, but overall I'm doing pretty well. I'm still under the care of a psychiatrist, every 3 months or so, which makes me feel better, so I've got a safety net if i need one. Anyway...
I was wondering if anyone else does this... I'm finding myself in this weird pattern of looking at the facebook accounts of people that are battling diseases (cancer, other things). These are people I really don't even know and I'm not friends with in real life. I usually have come across these profiles because they're friends of friends, or I've seen a gofundme somewhere or something like that. I am not even facebook friends with them. I just obsessively check for their health updates on their profiles. I used to do this for awhile, but had stopped for the last few months, and I know it contributed to my HA last year. It was a kind of mindless thing, but I made a decision tonight to really try and stop doing this, like I've stopped the googling and body checking. I think it's just another obsessive behavior, like the googling, weighing myself, checking my body, etc... I really have been doing better, I just don't understand why I start these behaviors up again, knowing where they'll lead. A success for me, though that I wanted to share is that a couple weeks ago, I had a skin growth (skin tag maybe?) removed at the dermatologist. It was in a "sensitive area". The derm said she wasn't worried about it, but sent it off for biopsy to be on the safe side (like she always does). I worried just a little bit, but did not obsessively check the area for healing, only looked at it a couple times. It healed with no problems, biopsy came back clear (like the derm said it would). It was a teensy bit anxiety producing, but nothing at all like I used to be. I also had a full body skin check done. It all felt so weirdly normal and routine. I like that feeling. I guess I'm just venting a bit and also wondering if anyone else does the weird social media checking of people you don't even know who have a disease. Why do i do this to myself? Am I trying to vicariously experience a disease, or keep reminding myself of diseases?