Help please

[lilibet]

Please please please can you help me.

I have suffered from anxiety for 12 years since i had my son josh.

For a few months i have been ok, but josh developed alopecia last xmas, but now its got so bad. He has been away for 2 weeks with his dad and i had pinned my hopes on it looking better but when he got back today its worse and more patches have developed. Im feeling so depressed and anxious and worried at the mo and i know that im getting into a bad state. I dont know what to do and im scared and to top it all he starts senior school next tuesday. Has anyone got any advice i have been to the drs and tried alternatives too.

Love Lilibet

[Paddington]

Ah hun:hugs: i am so sorry you are having such a worrying time..gosh to have your las suffering this way is gong to affect you hun..you must be beside yourself with worry.I dont know much about the condition hun..i know some folk recomment aromatherapy..carrot oil is good [i studied it once a long time ago:ohmy: ]but no one has tha answers Lilibet..just be as relaxed around your Son as possible..,he needs to be relaxed to get better too:flowers: We do fret over our kids i know ,my Daughter has a skin condition that makes her very self conciouse..and i weep for her:weep: ..i am here if you need to natter..just e-mail meif i am not on here hun..lots of love and hugs..Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Dear Paddie,

Thank you so much for pm'ing me! I have saved your e-mail address. It made sense about people not replying because of not knowing how to help, but last night i was so desperate for help, and i just thought i would get it here. Im not feeling as desperate now, but it would have been good to have had some support, the problem is my anxiety really - not my son, i just dont know how to cope, if all that makes sense? Thank you very much anyway. Hope youre ok?

Love Lilibet

[happyone]

Lillibet,

I am sorry you and your son are having this horrendous time.
I totally understand your feelings of it being your anx that is the worry. When our kids are affected by something, it isn't just the problem in hand is it? It is 'what if this...what if that.....what about....' and the whole picture gets so big and before you know it it is too big to deal with.

I don't know about skin conditions hun, but I do know when someone could do with a hug:hugs:

Happyone
xx

[lilibet]

Dear Happyone

Yes youre right, the thing is that i dont know what the future holds. My son has tests tomorrow and the specialist on thurs now, the clinic had to bring us forward as they had overbooked for fri. But to be honest thurs is fine with me as we need to talk to someone asap.

Im glad youre a bit brighter, i do always check in on you, and i can relate to you totally.

night night

love lilibet x

[Paddington]

hi hun:hugs: how are you today?Try and take each day as it comes..you know how people with addictions do..it does work hun..try not to dwell on all the negative stuff..the what ifs the maybes:shrug: as the more you bring them to mind the more likely you will feel distressed.Accept your anxiety:ohmy: WHAT?i here you think..just accept it?..yep hun!accept that who you are is made up of many parts,,your anxiety is ONE part..and not the whole of you:flowers: Dont feel let down or unsupported it can eat away at you..i know as i have been there and done it hun:lac: Trying to fight fear is like pouring petrol on a fire to put it out..it just dont work!It escalates.and we get full blown panics:ohmy: so by accepting that you need extra time to sort yourslf out ..or maybe a routine of lavender oil, rescue remedies etc..it all helps with the journey toward acceptance .Dont fight youserlf hun..be yourself:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Oh thank you once again paddie,

It means alot that you have replied, were off to see the specialist derm in Brum tomorro are you midlands, think you are?

Have decided that once we have been there i will try and calm down re alopecia.

Anxiety is the worst thing in the world, i really think that i was near to having a full blown panic attack earlier this week. I didnt know what to do with myself. I have managed quite well recently with the help of citalapram and quetapine so i get disappointed if i go backwards abit, even though i know it will happen.

The other thing i think is wrong with me is that i have always tried very hard to not show my worries to my son, but that has been because the worries have been mine this time im really really worried about him and im worried that he will become a worrier if all that makes sense.

Off to make tea now

love lilibet x x x

[Panic1971]

Hi Lilibet

Will be thinking of you and your son tomorrow. Hope everything goes well for you both. Kids are a real worry as it is without you having to deal with this too. You take care and give your son a great big hug.

Lots of love

[Piglet]

:hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Paddington]

Oh ,i do hope all goes well for you both 2morrow lilibet:hugs: yes!i am not far from brum..wolverhampton to be precise :) Dont beat yourself up for the odd set back hun..concentrate on the positives:yesyes: This problem your Son has will have made your anxiety levels rise .it is only normal hun.i think we forget that to be anxious at times is a healthy and normal reaction:) And there is no point trying tohide it from him..i did that with my kids and they imagined all sorts was the matter with me so honesty is the best policy there hun.,.it takes the pressure off you both..honest..hey have you tried face book again???Ask Piglet to set you up ..she did me:D Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Dear Paddie

Well on top of all this, i have had a chat with josh tonight and he isnt understanding this alopecia at all, he says one minute that he doesnt mind about it and then he says can i dye the white hair argh....

were coming to the wolverhampton royal hospital tomorrow, which under normal circumstances i would cope with the drive, but just of late my memory is dreadful and i cant concentrate and joshs dad (my ex husband) cant come and neither can my now husband. I do have a friend coming with me but i just wish i was the person i once was, i hope that i can cope with the motorway in the morning but i do have a sat nav so fingers crossed. i know im going on but i remember how i was before and i was so efficient etc and my anxiety has taken it away. Hope your ok as were not too far from each other then maybe we could meet up at some point

love liibet x x x x

[lilibet]

Thanks too ann.

Im really pleased that you have replied

love lilibet x x x

[Paddington]

Ah that would be good to meet up one day hun:hugs: Hey ,how old is Josh hun?He will want to appear strong and brave i bet ,but NO ONE likes to feel different do they:lac: I think talking to the drs 2morrow will help.And you will do just great and you have a friend with you too hun:D Dont keep comparing yourself to the past .it is a waste of your enegy ..concentrate on the new you..aperson who has copassion for others because she understands their fear..always a plus to be found some where hun:D Good luck.Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Thanks Paddie

Yes it was good having my friend with me, it was ok at the hosp the consultant has given us some lotion, so fingers crossed eh. i feel totally exhausted after the last few days. i am going for a lie down as josh is going to his dads for tea. Josh is 12 by the way. thanks for your posts, hope your ok too. Found wolverhampton easily thanks to sat nav....

love lilibet x x

[Panic1971]

Hi Lilibet

Glad things went okay with you and Josh at the hospital.

I will keep everything crossed for you - and hopefully the lotion will work.

Take care x

[lilibet]

Thanks Ann

love lilibet x x

[Paddington]

Oh Lilibet i am so glad all went well..see i knew you could do it hun..BRAVE GIRL AWARD COMING YOUR WAY:hugs: I thought Josh would be about 12/13...as what he said reminded me of my 13 yr old grandson:) it is such a transitional stage they go thru now..all hormones:ohmy: Where abouts do you come from ...was it a long journey?You did so well hun..so proud of you:D Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Dear Paddie

yes i was pleased with myself for making the journey, and that the outcome seemed quite positive.

I live near worcester so only 45 mins from you thats not far at all is it to visit.

I was wondering if josh hitting puberty has started the alopecia...just a thought.

I hope your ok? I was just pm'ing piglet today and said that i though the site had gone abit quiet so im glad youve been in touch.

Take care

love lilibet x x x x

[Paddington]

haha ha ha i was thinkin that too..the site being quiet:D i think the weekends are awkward for people ..families are home etc..i find itnhard to come on at the weekend as it is the only time my other half has off work..he works permenant nights:ohmy: ...Hormones could well have somthing to do with Josh's condition hun[i got a grandson named Josh too:D ]You are not too far away at all are you hun:D One day we will have to get together:yesyes: ..i had a horrid day yesterday..all tearful..i actually cried myself to sleep..big snotty old fool!I watched a drama called coming down the mountain..in it a young fella broke down in tears ,,he was on his knees sobbing ..and it started me off..i think we could all do with a good sob at times but when it makes you feel as bad as it did me last night ..no thanks!It dredged up un happy memories and all my feeelings of lack of worth as tho i take up too much space some how.I feel drained today and could still weep at the drop of a hat..maybe my hormones are playin up too hun:wacko: :blush: :huh: Do get face book sorted too it's such fun..Josh could do it too hun:D Love Paddie.xxxxxxxxxxxxxx