View Full Version : Concern For My Dad
I have noticed that my dad, who will soon be 53, seems to have an interrupted flow when he passes urine. This is one of the symptoms of prostate cancer and I'm quite worried. He had a prostate exam in summer 2017 which was fine but I'm concerned something has gone wrong since then.
Hi Joe, I suggest that you talk to your dad and get him to see the doctor. Try not to worry.
I'm in my late 50's and I have the same issue. Can't ever seem to really empty out and sometimes it takes a few to even get started, especially in the middle of the night. I've been checked too (not fun) and I'm good. Part of getting older I'm afraid :shrug:
Curious though... how do you know he has interrupted flow? Please don't tell me you've got your ear to the bathroom door :ohmy:
Positive thoughts
I can hear people going to the toilet from my room which is opposite the bathroom. The first time I heard him was an accident.
---------- Post added at 00:18 ---------- Previous post was at 00:15 ----------
Could prostate cancer have developed and progressed to the point it's causing symptoms in the time since his last exam though?
AMomentofClarity
21-11-18, 00:27
I can hear people going to the toilet from my room which is opposite the bathroom. The first time I heard him was an accident.
---------- Post added at 00:18 ---------- Previous post was at 00:15 ----------
Could prostate cancer have developed and progressed to the point it's causing symptoms in the time since his last exam though?
If you’re listening to your father piss and analyzing what you hear, your HA is way out of control. You really need help.
It's not like that, I just can hear him! And what I heard concerns me. I've actually been feeling better this last week. Still far from great and a way from good, but better nonetheless.
Catherine S
21-11-18, 00:54
Joe, I doubt anything bad has happened since the summer's normal results. Prostate cancer is a particularly slow growing one anyway, and he's been given the all clear. I agree that perhaps you need to talk to your dad about your fears for him...i'm sure he will be more likely to reassure you about this than anybody here can.
Best wishes
Cath S ☺
I can hear people going to the toilet from my room which is opposite the bathroom. The first time I heard him was an accident.
Dude! Really? Did you even read what I wrote? I agree with Clarity and based on your post history in the short time you've been a member, your HA is definitely out of control. It would truly be in your best interest to speak to your parents and seek real life professional help.
Positive thoughts
AMomentofClarity
21-11-18, 01:28
It's not like that, I just can hear him! And what I heard concerns me. I've actually been feeling better this last week. Still far from great and a way from good, but better nonetheless.
There’s just certain behaviors that cross the line from typical HA quirks (lymph node prodding, etc) to being a cringe worthy indications of HA run amok. Tracking relatives toilet habits is pushing that boundary.
Well tonight I was not listening out, I could just hear, but again my father had an intermittent flow of urine. I haven't spoken to him about it because for one it's rather embarrasing, and two, he would not go to the doctor even if i did.
I'm worried that he has prostate cancer. He turned 53 earlier this month and I know that the younger you get it the more aggressie it is, which is why the fact that he had an exam about 18 months ago isn't reassuring me, as it could have developed in that time.
I've spent the last couple of days obsessing over this, so I mentioned to my dad in passing that he seems to go the toilet a lot. He agreed, and said it can take him a while to start, but said it was down to getting older. That confirmed to me he needed to see a doctor, because I'm near convinced he has prostate cancer.
Tonight hes had to get up twice to go to the toilet. Please someone, I'm out of my mind with worry.
Wow. Get some noise-cancelling headphones.
So a guy has to go a few times or has stop and go. Don't we all sometimes, and of course, especially the older we get?
Obsessing over your own urine timings and durations is wild enough, but tuning in to someone else's and obsessing over it? Definitely an anxiety situation.
Caring for your dad's health is cool, just make sure he's doing his standard medical check-ups and let it be. The doctor will do their part. If you let this anxiety run unchecked you will be worrying about him for (hopefully) 30-40 more years!!
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AMomentofClarity
27-12-18, 01:53
Wow. Get some noise-cancelling headphones
YES!!!
I'm in my late 50's and I have the same issue. Can't ever seem to really empty out and sometimes it takes a few to even get started, especially in the middle of the night. I've been checked too (not fun) and I'm good. Part of getting older I'm afraid :shrug:
I also go many times a day. You really need to stop obsessing on your father's bathroom habits. What are your doing to treat your anxiety?
Positive thoughts
CBT has been going well. Believe it or not I've been doing better. Just wanted to ask though, how often should you get checked for prostate cancer?
CBT has been going well. Believe it or not I've been doing better. Just wanted to ask though, how often should you get checked for prostate cancer?
If your CBT has been going well, you wouldn't be asking that question :shades: What technique would you use to help?
Positive thoughts
Lately I've avoided listening but just now he had to get out of bed to go to the toilet, and I just couldn't help but to listen out and it was the worst one yet. Flow kept getting interrupted and no consistency. I feel as though if he doesn't act soon he'll die. I know you're just going to say anxiety but it's not me it's someone else who's having the problem.
---------- Post added at 01:11 ---------- Previous post was at 00:39 ----------
He's just got up again this time flow not too bad one interruption but to get up twice in such a short space of time cannot be a good sign.
In the last 5-6 or maybe 7 hours, my dad has made 6 visits to the toilet. He does drink alcohol everyday from about 3pm onwards, so it could be that but I think that something is evidently wrong given his other symptoms.
BrightPhoenix
17-01-19, 00:46
Just talk to your dad about it man.
Also folks who are asking about why he hears his dad - I live in a house with VERY poorly sound insulated walls (thin 2" plywood separates rooms). My bathroom is right next to my bedroom so if someone is using the bathroom I can hear them, even with my bedroom door closed.
My house is a very old house from the 60s.
Edit: Push him to see the doc. I know how you feel that you have to post obsessively and you're just concerned for your dad, but just push him - is your mother around to help?
Yeah she is, I spole to her about it before and she said he was fine because he had his exam about 18 months ago. They're both the kind of people who will avoid doctors at any oppurtunity. And thank you for backing me up! I have to watch a YouTube video loudly just to avoid hearing people going to the toilet with our paper thin walls.
CBT has been going well. Believe it or not I've been doing better. Just wanted to ask though, how often should you get checked for prostate cancer?
If your CBT has been going well, you wouldn't be asking that question :shades: What technique would you use to help?
Positive thoughts
I don't care about CBT techniques. What will that solve? It won't stop my dad displaying signs of prostate cancer.
CBT will help you manage your anxiety, feel better, and make better decisions as to what is and isn't rational.
I can manage the anxiety, and what I'm fearing with regards to my dad isn't irrational.
AMomentofClarity
17-01-19, 14:16
Just talk to your dad about it man.
Also folks who are asking about why he hears his dad - I live in a house with VERY poorly sound insulated walls (thin 2" plywood separates rooms). My bathroom is right next to my bedroom so if someone is using the bathroom I can hear them, even with my bedroom door closed.
My house is a very old house from the 60s.
Sure, totally understandable....but are you analyzing your family’s urine flow night after night? How about providing weekly updates to a public Internet forum?
---------- Post added at 07:16 ---------- Previous post was at 07:15 ----------
and what I'm fearing isn't irrational.
Said every anxiety sufferer ever.....
If your behaviour is rational, why are you posting about it on a mental health forum?
I think that if you have spoken to both him and your Mum about your concerns then you have done enough. It’s down to your Dad to decide what to do now.
Your CBT will help with managing your worries. This is a what if thought, a hypothetical worry. Use your cbt to break that down.
Our parents don’t always act on our concerns, it’s very hard but it’s their choice. Just like you probably don’t always act on their concerns.
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BrightPhoenix
18-01-19, 05:35
While that's true, sometimes just like how we were when we were children, they won't be rational, and sometimes you do have to drag them kicking and screaming to listen to you.
I would talk to your therapist and ask him or her how you could present this to your mom and dad. They may or may not be able to help you, and like others have said, *please* listen to the therapist when they give you CBT techniques, it will make it much easier to help your dad when your anxiety about him is also in check.
I don't want to be an enabler and say "you're right" (because you don't know nor do I, we are not doctors) but I can sympathize with what you're going through, but all you can really do is try your best on this. We are just strangers on the Internet and can only do so much.
I don't care about CBT techniques. What will that solve? It won't stop my dad displaying signs of prostate cancer.
That statement speaks volumes to the severity of your illness. And you're right, CBT cannot stop the real symptoms of cancer from showing. The problem is, your Dad doesn't have cancer nor any inkling of it. You're the only one thinking this. This is a total anxiety ridden fabrication of your mind. It's actually sad to read :weep:
Positive thoughts
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